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Theresa

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Everything posted by Theresa

  1. Theresa

    Journal

    Day 44 I am very happy to have quit gaming. After being sent home from college senior year last March because of the pandemic, gaming was my alternative to accepting this. When I was hoping to quit, one question I always asked was, will I be a happier person? Yes, deciding to act rather than withdraw into gaming has combatted many of the anxieties or fears I had. So far I have been able to do a much better job at work, cultivate better relationships, and become more financially stable. I have found making a general daily schedule to be very helpful. It helps fill those time voids especially after work when I would resort to gaming and it also gives me small goals to accomplish, satisfying that desire for achieving or concrete progress. I have felt triggered because of stress and resorted to watching a YouTube video of the game update, but I have no intention of downloading the game ever again. Gaming addiction really promotes a crippling worldview. It changes your perception of reality. You perceive accomplishment and perhaps some societal customs through these artificial experiences where there is no congruity between the character development in game and character development in real life. It’s a disservice to your real talents and to your unique person in real life. I’m really grateful for this community. Knowing that there really are others who are also struggling and fighting the same addiction gives me so much hope and inspiration. No one is alone in this journey! Hope you’re all well and rooting for you!
  2. Welcome CG and all the best with your awesome journey!
  3. Good luck with your book “Good Enough.” That is really neat you’re writing one of your own and I look forward to hearing more of your progress with it!
  4. Good job on staying away from YouTube and the games. Best of luck on your journey!
  5. Welcome @cham0mil5! I look forward to hearing more about your journey. What is this dream you have?
  6. Theresa

    Journal

    Day 30. Hope you’re all well and rooting for you 🙂
  7. Theresa

    Journal

    @TheNewMe2.0 yes, becoming the first doctor in the family would be awesome. I won’t say that thought didn’t cross my mind. With the PsyD one can have a private practice and teach, no? I’m in contact with some admissions counselors to get clarity on that. My dream is to get a 50% scholarship they offer. Day 21 Work has been crazy this week I feel sorta restless. I’ve been trying to stay on top of journaling and completing the tasks I schedule in my planner, but often I only get 1 or 2 done. I gave up on the ice shower because I’m weak and kept hyperventilating lmao, but reading and jogging have been splendid. I haven’t really been craving which is good but I miss the online friends.... anyway hope you’re all well and I’m rooting for you as always!
  8. I think that’s wise to quit that type of meditation especially if it’s cracking into a goal or discipline that you have been succeeding in. Two contrary things both can’t be good for you. Glad the MRI went well. What happened that you sustained such an injury? yes, I’m sure it must be frustrating to be dependent but honestly at least you have someone who can help you out a bit. You give great practical advice and seem very intuitive which I think are excellent factors in counseling. All the best with discerning.
  9. Theresa

    Journal

    Thanks for the support and encouragement @TheNewMe2.0. I really appreciate your being here. Yah I’ll experiment with this and see what happens. All the best with your student debt. I’m sure it’s a lot and the idea of grad school debt makes me feel sick, but I’m sure over time you’ll come out even and you’ll find your Ma useful and fulfilling.
  10. You’re being honest with yourself for recognizing your limitations and tendencies. Sometimes it’s easy to set goals that are too high or not realistic at the time, and that’s ok. I totally understand the pressure of time logging. You feel more inclined to veg because there is this constant urgency because of the plan you have made for yourself. Have you heard of the monk manual?
  11. All the best with everything and thank you for sharing your experience and ideas.
  12. It sounds like you’re stressed with school, understandably. Stress can definitely cause triggers. I’m not sure what your interests are but maybe you can find some sort of hobby that is relaxing. Not to undermine your good efforts in studying, but everyone needs to recreate at some time after serious work. Way to go!
  13. Sorry to hear about the bullying. Of course you didn’t deserve it and it wasn’t your fault, but sometimes people just suck and who knows what insecurities they have such that they need to project it onto someone else. I’m really excited to read your book! That’s awesome and really cool you’re writing one.
  14. Theresa

    Journal

    Day 19 Im going to post less, but everything has been going pretty well. I feel so much more alert and less anxious with this detox so far. Going for a jog before and after work really helps with the tension and stress of the day. I was talking with some friends about video games and one friend shared how there was this mother who was really tired because she was raising the kids all day and she asked her husband to hold the baby for like 10 minutes so she could change into pajamas or whatever; and he responded, “No! I’m in the middle of something!” I recognized myself in that story, rejecting family and friends who really needed help so that I could play my video game; and this is another motivator. I don’t want to be that person anymore or ever again. I don’t want to be so absorbed in a hobby or entertainment that it takes priority over immediate family or friends. I don’t want any relationships to be wrecked because I need to level up or “help” my “friends” in game. I also feel responsible and guilty for being and accomplice to all the others who I played online with. Some had kids other were students etc. but we were all logging onto this communal addiction which indeed deprived each of us from cultivating relationships right there before us in reality. I’m reading this book which proposes the theory of the “slight edge.” Basically one’s every day actions, especially the small repetitive ones, over an extended period of time can be compounded into success or failure. If one performs an action that is beneficial to him in some way and continues to do so, his growth and success will increase slowly but as more time passes, the increase in his growth will be exponential, like compound interest. The same applies to bad habits, the outcome being years of compounded negative action. I like this theory because it appeals to that longevity which character development and habit building evoke. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but by doing a single good action such as reading 10 pages every day or doing one thing that you’re afraid of every day, after 3 years, the results will be phenomenal. Anyway those are my latest thoughts. I hope you’re all well and rooting for you as always!
  15. Way to go, keep it up! Regarding YouTube, if you want to cut it completely, then delete it or use an app blocker like Freedom. I recommend uninstalling it though. Getting a planner and timestamping your day the night before is really helpful. Not only can you be more productive but also you can fill in all those downtimes, when you might watch YouTube, with other activities, hobbies, or tasks.
  16. Good job pulling through all the temptations. The way internet works these days it’s going to be pretty much impossible to avoid seeing anything explicit. I wouldn’t give up drawing because of that. Maybe draw something in front of you or copy from a book? Don’t let it a bad experience that’s accidental to your intentions prevent you from doing something that you enjoy.
  17. Theresa

    Journal

    Day 17 Today was great. No cravings and I spent most of the day outside shooting clay pigeons with a 12 gage, canoing, and mucking out a horse paddock. I am so grateful to be in the fresh air. I didn’t do meditation or exercise today but I have been able to read more. Hope you’re all well and rooting for you!
  18. Theresa

    Journal

    Day 16. Missed writing yesterday. I have been feeling down this week and missed a couple days of this 30 day challenge, journaling, and exercising. I think, however, that I have found new solutions. Last night some friends crashed the apartment and we watched a movie, had ciders, and chatted. I would have hands down turned down an event like this previously and gamed instead, but I think this experience was just as satisfying. Unfortunately today I scrolled through some Reddit posts on the game I used to play. I was really craving that game. After I swam a mile and I felt loads better and the cravings were gone. What I have learned and actually experienced is that socializing and exercise really fulfill some needs that gaming did. This realization definitely isn’t a novel idea but it sure as hec feels like it after finding fulfillment in a virtual reality for the past however long. Hope you’re well and rooting for you as always.
  19. Theresa

    Journal

    Aha! Actually made 6 gallons of homemade ice cream yesterday.
  20. Theresa

    Journal

    Well I’m glad you found patients who are a little more cooperative. Double triggered, have to say honestly that must have sucked. It must be difficult to counsel them if their attention is divided? I’ll keep trying that approach before encountering the coworker. It definitely is calming if nothing else. Thanks for all the advice.
  21. Theresa

    Journal

    @WorkInProgress thanks so much for your support and suggestions. I think thats a good idea to have a plan for the future or EAP for real life. I’ll work in that. Thanks for saying that eating a batch of ice cream is a healthy way to handle the situation. That made my day and also cracked me up😊
  22. That analogy was really cool. Thats great you are able to have reflected more upon the roots and causes that perhaps are more underlying to your gaming experience. It makes me think of digging deeper into my own life to find that “key log.” Thank you for sharing and all the best.
  23. Glad you enjoyed breakfast. It’s amazing how small things can make a big difference. Hope you knee recovery keeps up.
  24. You can do this. You always have a choice regardless of how you feel or the circumstances you encounter. It’s definitely hurting you more to play since you’re avoiding confronting something in your life. Saying your existence is a mistake is not only false but also a cop-out. As the others have said, give the world a chance to benefit from your talents and gifts. Online games are designed to make you addicted and to make everything in life feel boring. It’s a slow recovery just like making any new habit is and it’s difficult. Ultimately, the decision is yours as it’s your life. All of us here are struggling like you and with you and we also rooting for you.