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I keep relapsing


hemonkey
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Keep trying. Make it harder to access video games during these next 90 days. Realize that you are not giving up something that you don't already want to give up. You've tried five times already! Clearly you want this. Tell everybody you know (especially your gamer friends) that you are quitting. Prepare yourself for a time of severe boredom and maybe even depression. The first few weeks are the hardest and your brain will do it's best to get you gaming again. Ignore your brain. FUCK YOUR BRAIN! It does not have your best interest at heart while the addiction is front and center. Do whatever you want (obviously within reason) during this time. Anything that isn't video games is good. Don't try to have everything figured out or expect to feel like your over gaming immediately. This process takes time. Give yourself the freedom to be bored, antsy, whatever you are feeling. 

Force new hobbies into your brain. Try things just for the sake of trying them, even if you really don't want to. Give your brain new stimulus. Give it anything (again, within reason) that isn't video games. 

Sell your video games. Give them away. Have a friend hold onto them for you. Whatever. Just get them out of your place and out of your face. Relapsing is harder when you don't have access to the addiction. Obviously that's a little more challenging with a PC. Still, delete your gaming accounts. Uninstall your games. You owe yourself this. 

I wish you all the best in succeeding on this. I absolutely know that you are capable of doing this even if it doesn't feel that way right now. Push through. Fight. You can do this!

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Discipline is a skill or muscle that needs practice. You haven't exercised it with games before, so now you need to start working on it so you can build it to the point where you don't want to play video games.

I agree with @MuMuMelon, what will help greatly (and stopped me after my relapse) was to make it harder to play games. Swap computers. Install linux. Remove your consoles from your room/house. Block websites that you would read strategy on etc. When I get the urges, it is immediately followed by "but yeah, to play that I will need to set up that other computer again or work out how to get windows back, or I don't have a console anymore". My interest wanes almost instantly.

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8 hours ago, giblets said:

Swap computers. Install linux.

I still have windows on my computer. I deleted all my game accounts the second time thou.

It was the only way to go for me, to be 100% game free.

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I think you need to analyze why you're relapsing. Create 3 bullet lists:

Why you want to quit games:

  1. reason
  2. reason
  3. reason...

Why you are addicted to games:

  1. reason
  2. reason
  3. reason...

What are your gaming triggers:

  1. reason
  2. reason
  3. reason...

Start to understand your triggers and cues. You will start to see what is causing you to relapse. Then you must find new ways to deal with those problems. It might be loneliness, anxiety, sadness, anger, boredom, hunger, thirst, being tired, depression, etc. 

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2 hours ago, Hai said:

I think my friends are my main trigger. I don't want to lose my friends but also want to do my detox. I don't know if I should just unfriend them or do something else.

You should read my story. Your friends are like alcoholics at a bar telling their friends to drink with them. They just want friends to do the bad activity with them. They're not your real friends.

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On 9/30/2020 at 4:06 PM, BooksandTrees said:

You should read my story. Your friends are like alcoholics at a bar telling their friends to drink with them. They just want friends to do the bad activity with them. They're not your real friends.

One of my friends just got mad at me for not playing with him and threatens me to play or else he will do something to my account. I agree with you on your opinion about bad friends.

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18 hours ago, Hai said:

One of my friends just got mad at me for not playing with him and threatens me to play or else he will do something to my account. I agree with you on your opinion about bad friends.

These aren't only friends. These are co-addicts. And they are tough to shake. We have a limited capacity to how many friendships we can have, and a more limited capacity for best friends. This is simply because continuing to cultivate the relationship takes time. Good friends don't threaten you for not doing what they want you to do. This is abusive and manipulative behavior.

Gamer friends aren't really unique. The only thing that ties most of you together is the video game. Take that away, and what's left? Not much. 

Friendships are tough to lose out on. It's especially hard because in the wake of COVID, it's especially hard to get out in the real world and make those real connections that matter.

Ask your friends for time on a Zoom call instead time on video games. You'll quickly find out who your real friends are. 

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It's tough when your friends don't understand your situation. However, if they can't be bothered to help you when you need help it might be time to put those friendships on hold for a while. I'm not saying you need to cut them out of your life or anything but just a pause. It's hard for people who aren't addicted (or don't consider themselves addicted) to video games to understand how somebody could become addicted. My brother still has trouble wrapping his head around it. Just yesterday I was at his place and he thought it would be a good idea to show me videos for the new Star Wars game. A game he absolutely knows that I wanted to play. 

If you really want to quit you'll have to accept that there will be a transitional period. Some friendships that you've made may be centered around gaming and those friendships will likely be tested the most. 

This isn't easy but it's doable. Just accept that there will be some changes in your life but these changes will be for the better. They might not feel like it immediately but down the road it will.

You got this! Focus and accept. Make the plan and stick to it. 

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On 9/24/2020 at 5:54 PM, Hai said:

I have relapsed more than 5 times and haven't even completed my 90 days. What should I do?

Hey Hai,

Fighting any addiction is a process, it takes time and seasons. Don't beat yourself up when you relapse, it is an opportunity to learn what tripped you up. My favorite quote for this
 

 

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