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Vladimirs journal


YasnoSolnishko
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Hi everyone.
My name is Vladimir. I'm 37 years old. I'm from Ukraine, but currently, my residence country is Russia.
I am not a native speaker; however, I want to maintain a journal in English to improve my writing skills.
I used to play games a lot in the past (during my first marriage), but then I quit for some time. Now I find myself playing for the past ten days in an extremely interesting game. Yesterday I played for another game for 12 hours with the breaks for food and toilet.
 Usually, I do not game a lot, and I tried to finish the Respawn course before. Failed. Probably because I didn't make a journal, now I will try to make notes every day.
 
Today is day 1 (10 Sep 2020) of my game quitting.
I feel worried and busy. The main reason for it that I was awake by my boss calling from work. I missed a day when I need to come to work from vacation. I thought I have one more day of vacation. 🙈
Today I will be busy for the whole day, and after the work, I need to finish the packing of the stuff to move from one garage to another. I also thought that I have one more day to complete that. 🙈

 

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Day 2 (11 Sep 2020) - No gaming
Hectic day at work. After that, I was busy with the moving stuff from one garage to another because the landlord decided to sell it.
Removed my Origin account with the help of their support.
I want to remove also the Steam account, but two things stop me. I have a Drone Racing League simulator there, which I use for learning how to fly on FPV drone, and also I have the Sony Vegas program, which I sometimes use for video editing.
Is there a possibility to somehow unbind them from Steam?

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Day 3 (13 Sep 2020) - No gaming
Today I was busy all day with some personal stuff.
Watched almost 1 hr of Coubs for Gaming topic. Some of them are fun, but I think it's not useful for me.
I spent a lot of time watching five series of Umbrella Academy on Netflix. But at least it was with my wife, so could be considered as a time spent with my family)
Watched one video on Youtube about robots, it's remained me about the robots in Battlefront 2, which I played almost 20 hrs earlier this week. God, this was a fantastic feeling of achieving something meaningful. How to receive this feeling in real life?

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Welcome to the forums. It's good to see you're taking steps to get off games. It may be possible to install those games as separate programs on your desktop so you can keep them. I don't know how though. Good luck.

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Day 4 (13 Sep 2020) - No gaming, no watching anything game related.
Despite Sunday, it was a busy day. I was busy with packaging my stuff.
From today till the 27th of Sep, I will be on quarantine before traveling to the working shift, which will last for the other six weeks.
I think it's the most challenging time to quit gaming.  I will be closed in the hotel room for 24 hrs — the ideal time for games.
I took expanders set to get myself fit, my ukulele to improve my skills, and I hope my laptop will help me as a learning tool, not gaming.

 

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I'm starting a journal for the first time here too! I recommend you read about other people's experiences, a lot of people seem to have similar issues. You're English is very good by the way, I wouldn't be able to tell if you didn't mention it. 

7 hours ago, YasnoSolnishko said:


From today till the 27th of Sep, I will be on quarantine before traveling to the working shift, which will last for the other six weeks.
I think it's the most challenging time to quit gaming.  I will be closed in the hotel room for 24 hrs — the ideal time for games.

 

Dig into the fact that this is "Challenging". Games satisfy a need for challenge in our lives, and you engaging with that will help you feel more fulfilled with real life. Keep it up!

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Day 5&6 (14-15 Sep) 

No gaming. No watching anything game related. 

So I spent two days in quarantine. It has both: advantages and drawbacks.

Advantages are no need to think about food, I could spend the whole day even in trousers)), not spending the time going to work.

Drawbacks: no personal conversation, only through phone and messengers, no long walks (only walking rounds in my room), the non-changing environment.

After work I'm doing work out, watching Netflix (not more than 1 episode), playing the ukulele, continue programming courses, conversations with friends and family.

And what is important, go sleep early to have at least 7,5 hrs of sleep. Day 5&6 (14-15 Sep) 
No gaming. No watching anything game related. 
So I spent two days in quarantine. It has both: advantages and drawbacks.
Advantages are no need to think about food, and I could spend the whole day even in trousers)), not spending the time going to work.
Drawbacks: no personal conversation, only through phone and messengers, no long walks (only walking rounds in my room), the non-changing environment.
After work, I'm doing work out, watching Netflix (not more than 1 episode), playing the ukulele, continue programming courses, conversations with friends and family.
And what is essential, go to sleep early to have at least 7,5 hrs of sleep.

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Days 7-8 (17-18 Sep) - No gaming

Still locked in the hotel on quarantine. Busy during the day with work. In the evening - workout, some Netflix and learning. SLowly prorgessing on CS50 course. Very slow. I wish I could learn and perform faster.

 

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Days 9-10 (19-20 Sep)

I found some article which were saying that the programming language could be learned using the gamification and there were some links and for these two days I play/learn at the codecombat website. So, currently I'm a bit confused. Is it a relapse?
I spent like 10 hrs per weekend learning python in this game. I like the scenarios and the process of the finishing levels which are aspects of the game, but at the same time I learn python. 

I need to think more on that.

I need the help of the community.

What is your opinion? Is it a game or learning?

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For me, I think if you are learning something valuable from it, it should be fine. I am not sure really how the website executed the playing/learning thing, but I am pretty sure that if the playing doesn't cause the urge of playing other games with no valuable learning from it then I think you're good. Still be cautious. If you think it's too much of a game, then I know there's other places you can learn python or other coding languages.

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My father was comp sci before becoming a teacher and he told me the best way to learn programming is by making a program. Write an app or a script or something. Learn as you go. Then, use that app in your portfolio as proof of your competence.

The cookie-cutter nature of one-sized-fits-all coding games is that you will learn what everybody else learns, which may be two or three years behind whatever industry you want to break into wants from you. Plus you receive unrealistic domaminergetic responses from coding games that does not exist in the real world of work and will demotivate you in the future.

I think its a waste of time. Coding games are a half-baked soft measure for people who want to feel good about themselves. An alternative to making a portfolio program is to attend a coding bootcamp but their high pace might be too extreme.

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Ok. I tried to lie to myself but failed. I admit that this was a relapse. I do not blame myself. It just looks that after the working day, which is usually intense, I'm tired and don't know how to relax in the evening. Furthermore, it's not easy when I'm closed in the hotel 24/7. 

By the way, the method of deleting Steam account which is in the Respawn book is not working because the Steam blocks changing the email to any of suggested guerilla emails.

Edited by YasnoSolnishko
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Holy...
Five days passed since I realized that I was gaming instead of learning.
So, I will start the count from Tuesday as day 1.
Days 1-4 (22-25 Sep)
Saturday morning. (26 Sep)
I neither play games nor watch the video about games.
Still in the quarantine, but tomorrow will move to the shift to the LNG plant. I'm glad and slightly worry because it's my first shift, and the perspective of working 12 hrs/day within four weeks is not warming me up.
I spent this week working, learning to program, reading books, doing yoga for beginners in the morning, and exercising with the expanders in the evening. I started to learn to paint. In general, - I was feeling great. However, there are days when there are too many meetings, and I'm not progressing in my job tasks. These days I feel not great.
The day before yesterday, I opened the Play Market to install one application, and I was attracted by one game. The games often attract me on mobile due to their easy accessibility. Usually, I think: "I will install, play for a couple of minutes, and after that, uninstall." Hours later, founding myself disappointed and uninstalling the game. I struggled for a couple of minutes but then decided not to install it. Baby steps)

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4 hours ago, YasnoSolnishko said:

The day before yesterday, I opened the Play Market to install one application, and I was attracted by one game. The games often attract me on mobile due to their easy accessibility. Usually, I think: "I will install, play for a couple of minutes, and after that, uninstall." Hours later, founding myself disappointed and uninstalling the game. I struggled for a couple of minutes but then decided not to install it. Baby steps)

Discipline is like any other muscle or skill - it takes practice. We need to build it up so we can rely upon it, and this is going to take practice.

You just exercised the discipline muscle. You are stronger because of it. Feel accomplished!

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Days 5-8 (26 - 29 Sep)
I neither play games nor watch the video about games.
Currently, I'm working in shifts of 12 hours per day. I do not have any cravings during the working day. After work, not much time left, I used it for the workout, reading, and communication with relatives and friends.
I think more or less; this will be the schedule for the next month during the shift. But after that, when I will be on vacation, I will face the situation of having much more free time.
Again, I needed to install the app from Market Play and saw many games at the starting page that attract me. Is there any possibility to replace the starting page of the Play Market?

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Days 9-11 (30 Sep - 2 Oct)
I neither play games nor watch the video about games.
The schedule is stable, working 12 hrs, working out or walking, learning to program, and talking to relatives.
I started to work with psychologist 3-4 weeks ago, and yesterday he proposed the idea that I probably like to play to have some achievement. But this hunger for achievement is perhaps from the issues with father. I will continue therapy, and, I hope, we can solve the root cause of the gaming. I think that is the best approach because for every decease, if the root cause is not cured, then it will come again.

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Days 12-19 (3 Oct - 10 Oct)
I neither play games nor watch the video about games.
Time flies. I thought that just 2-3 days passed since I posted something here, but in fact, one week passed.
I still on the shift. I am working for 12 hrs during the day, in the evening working out; during this time, I discovered the rowing machine. I have never tried it before. To follow some target, I found an 8-weeks program for beginners and following it. During rowing, I do not notice how the time flies. I think it's a condition called The Flow. I like it.
There is not much time in the evening; when I'm not in the gym, I learned to program and talking to relatives.
It looks like the game's advertisement, which I sometimes see on Instagram, does not attract me as much as it did before.
That's pretty much all.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Days 20-30 (11 Oct - 21 Oct)
I neither play games nor watch the video about games.
I am writing not often here.
I still on the shift. I am working for 12 hrs during the day. It is the 4th and the last week of my shift. I feel exhausted in the evenings; almost do not work out. However, do some learning how to code. Started to watch Netflix in the evenings. The vital part is that I'm sleeping for 8 hours. During the day, I feel energized and have no urge to play or watch videos about the games. The game's advertisement, which I sometimes see on Instagram, does not attract me as much as it did before, and I'm happy about it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Days 21-43 (21 Oct - 3 Nov)
I neither play games nor watch the video about games.
This journal should be daily, but since I do not have urges to play videogames, I do not write here often.
As I have already written, I achieved one important milestone - deleted my Steam account with all what was in it. Feel no regret.
My work shift is finished, and currently, I'm on the deserved vacation. The first half of the week rest at home, reading books, did a bit of hiking,  enjoying the autumn, spending time with my wife. The second half of the week, we made a short trip to Vladivostok. It was quite enjoyable, new places, new people, new emotions.
Currently, I have a streak of 15 days doing a programming course at Codecademy. I like to learn, sometimes it's challenging, and I want to drop it, but I know that this feeling is not useful and I know how to cope with it.
Also, my friend gathered a team, and our goal is to create a robot with the functionality similar to a vacuum cleaner robot, but without vacuum cleaning. So, in short, we are focused on the task of space scanning, mapping and navigating in it.

P.S. Feeling powerful and excited every time I see the advertisement for some games on Instagram and reporting that this ad is not attractive to me anymore.

P.S.S The book I have read is Wave. Highly recommend. It is about a woman who lost her relatives. I didn't plan it, but sometimes, such shocking stories helps me to understand that there are more awful things that could happen 🌊. And then I realize that life is good 😀

Edited by YasnoSolnishko
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Days 44-51 (4 Nov - 11 Nov)
I neither play games nor watch the video about games. However, today I was attracted by one game advertisement on Instagram. But I held on. I remember why I want to quit gaming, and it worked this time. So, the journey continues.
My wife and I had some extensive weekend with a lot of conversation with new people. It was interesting. 
Now, It looks like I have a corona. Feeling bad, high temperature and rough cough.

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