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About YasnoSolnishko

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  1. Days 67-74(28 Nov - 5 Dec) Relapse Days 1-8 (5 Dec - 12 Dec) Relapse. I know the reasons why I relapsed. There was a series of stressful situations at work, and I think I tried to escape from the problems. It was a game on the mobile phone, and after 30 minutes I realized that again I'm falling into gaming trap. That I want significant progress at the game and to gain this progress I need to spend a lot of time playing. Then, I call to mind my resolution to quit gaming, why I want to stop and which life sides will suffer from gaming. Therefore, after 40 minutes, I removed the game. However, I still take it as relapse. Sad, but true. I do not blame myself, but it's a pity that I zeroed my score. So, there were two stressful weeks at work. I am trying not to push myself hard. I postponed all my other activities. So it was just a lot of work, a lot of sleep and some walking to keep my body in fit. These two weeks are in the past, and I can focus on other activities more. Spend some quality time with myself and my family. There are two important things I realized for the past two months. The power of small steps Sleep is the most important thing. We all live our lives in one way and then, by some external influence, suddenly decide to change life significantly. But it's very hard. So, do the small steps. Start small. If you want to run a marathon and never run before - start walking 1-2 km per day. Note the progress. It will be your wins. Keep the streak of wins. Gain self-confidence, then increase the goal a little bit. If you fail, do not blame yourself, think why you fail, probably you are tired or stressed. If it's true - take the pause. Rest a little bit. Check your life; probably there are too many resolutions or responsibilities. Drop something or put on hold. Do something that increases your energy. For me it's read a book (some fiction, not self-development), go to massage (I prefer Thai), go hiking (3-7 km in the near forest). Regarding the sleep, I like this lecture https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_walker_sleep_is_your_superpower#t-17257 And also I bought the Oura Ring. I gained so much knowledge from the information that it provides and from articles on their website.
  2. Days 52-67 (12 Nov - 28 Nov) I am recovering from the coronavirus. Overall, the consequences are not problematic for my wife and me. I neither play games nor watch the video about games. I am not attracted by game advertisement on Instagram. I think one of the good points is that I do not spend much time in social networks (approx. 1-1,5 hr per week), therefore do not see much advertisement, and, as a consequence, fewer temptations. I wish I write more here, but it looks this journal is not very important for me. I have my personal offline journal where a lot of work happening and also have weekly sessions with the therapist, which I assume works well. Sometimes I have cravings for games, but now they are changed. If before I want to play to increase the dopamine level, now I want to play in some game with a scenario. For example, when my wife and I are watching the Mandalorian series, I want to play some Star Wars game. My wife says that I should allow myself to play like one day in a month because it's giving me some joy. I think this is not a good idea. I have finished 30-days challenge at the course at CodeCademy. It wasn't hard; however, I feel some proud of myself, and also I see that even with the small efforts, but continuously, the progress could be significant. I also started to follow the NFL league as I did in the past. The football(not soccer) is not very popular in Russia; however, I like it a lot. My wife also started to watch games with me. I explained (and continue to explain every game) the rules. She likes it too. It's a pleasure to do something with someone you love. The more shared interests - the better, I think.
  3. Days 44-51 (4 Nov - 11 Nov) I neither play games nor watch the video about games. However, today I was attracted by one game advertisement on Instagram. But I held on. I remember why I want to quit gaming, and it worked this time. So, the journey continues. My wife and I had some extensive weekend with a lot of conversation with new people. It was interesting. Now, It looks like I have a corona. Feeling bad, high temperature and rough cough.
  4. Days 21-43 (21 Oct - 3 Nov) I neither play games nor watch the video about games. This journal should be daily, but since I do not have urges to play videogames, I do not write here often. As I have already written, I achieved one important milestone - deleted my Steam account with all what was in it. Feel no regret. My work shift is finished, and currently, I'm on the deserved vacation. The first half of the week rest at home, reading books, did a bit of hiking, enjoying the autumn, spending time with my wife. The second half of the week, we made a short trip to Vladivostok. It was quite enjoyable, new places, new people, new emotions. Currently, I have a streak of 15 days doing a programming course at Codecademy. I like to learn, sometimes it's challenging, and I want to drop it, but I know that this feeling is not useful and I know how to cope with it. Also, my friend gathered a team, and our goal is to create a robot with the functionality similar to a vacuum cleaner robot, but without vacuum cleaning. So, in short, we are focused on the task of space scanning, mapping and navigating in it. P.S. Feeling powerful and excited every time I see the advertisement for some games on Instagram and reporting that this ad is not attractive to me anymore. P.S.S The book I have read is Wave. Highly recommend. It is about a woman who lost her relatives. I didn't plan it, but sometimes, such shocking stories helps me to understand that there are more awful things that could happen 🌊. And then I realize that life is good 😀
  5. Day 31 I received the email that my Steam account has been removed without any possibility to restore. Quite a milestone. Need to celebrate somehow 😀🍾
  6. Days 20-30 (11 Oct - 21 Oct) I neither play games nor watch the video about games. I am writing not often here. I still on the shift. I am working for 12 hrs during the day. It is the 4th and the last week of my shift. I feel exhausted in the evenings; almost do not work out. However, do some learning how to code. Started to watch Netflix in the evenings. The vital part is that I'm sleeping for 8 hours. During the day, I feel energized and have no urge to play or watch videos about the games. The game's advertisement, which I sometimes see on Instagram, does not attract me as much as it did before, and I'm happy about it.
  7. Days 12-19 (3 Oct - 10 Oct) I neither play games nor watch the video about games. Time flies. I thought that just 2-3 days passed since I posted something here, but in fact, one week passed. I still on the shift. I am working for 12 hrs during the day, in the evening working out; during this time, I discovered the rowing machine. I have never tried it before. To follow some target, I found an 8-weeks program for beginners and following it. During rowing, I do not notice how the time flies. I think it's a condition called The Flow. I like it. There is not much time in the evening; when I'm not in the gym, I learned to program and talking to relatives. It looks like the game's advertisement, which I sometimes see on Instagram, does not attract me as much as it did before. That's pretty much all.
  8. Days 9-11 (30 Sep - 2 Oct) I neither play games nor watch the video about games. The schedule is stable, working 12 hrs, working out or walking, learning to program, and talking to relatives. I started to work with psychologist 3-4 weeks ago, and yesterday he proposed the idea that I probably like to play to have some achievement. But this hunger for achievement is perhaps from the issues with father. I will continue therapy, and, I hope, we can solve the root cause of the gaming. I think that is the best approach because for every decease, if the root cause is not cured, then it will come again.
  9. Days 5-8 (26 - 29 Sep) I neither play games nor watch the video about games. Currently, I'm working in shifts of 12 hours per day. I do not have any cravings during the working day. After work, not much time left, I used it for the workout, reading, and communication with relatives and friends. I think more or less; this will be the schedule for the next month during the shift. But after that, when I will be on vacation, I will face the situation of having much more free time. Again, I needed to install the app from Market Play and saw many games at the starting page that attract me. Is there any possibility to replace the starting page of the Play Market?
  10. Holy... Five days passed since I realized that I was gaming instead of learning. So, I will start the count from Tuesday as day 1. Days 1-4 (22-25 Sep) Saturday morning. (26 Sep) I neither play games nor watch the video about games. Still in the quarantine, but tomorrow will move to the shift to the LNG plant. I'm glad and slightly worry because it's my first shift, and the perspective of working 12 hrs/day within four weeks is not warming me up. I spent this week working, learning to program, reading books, doing yoga for beginners in the morning, and exercising with the expanders in the evening. I started to learn to paint. In general, - I was feeling great. However, there are days when there are too many meetings, and I'm not progressing in my job tasks. These days I feel not great. The day before yesterday, I opened the Play Market to install one application, and I was attracted by one game. The games often attract me on mobile due to their easy accessibility. Usually, I think: "I will install, play for a couple of minutes, and after that, uninstall." Hours later, founding myself disappointed and uninstalling the game. I struggled for a couple of minutes but then decided not to install it. Baby steps)
  11. Ok. I tried to lie to myself but failed. I admit that this was a relapse. I do not blame myself. It just looks that after the working day, which is usually intense, I'm tired and don't know how to relax in the evening. Furthermore, it's not easy when I'm closed in the hotel 24/7. By the way, the method of deleting Steam account which is in the Respawn book is not working because the Steam blocks changing the email to any of suggested guerilla emails.
  12. Days 9-10 (19-20 Sep) I found some article which were saying that the programming language could be learned using the gamification and there were some links and for these two days I play/learn at the codecombat website. So, currently I'm a bit confused. Is it a relapse? I spent like 10 hrs per weekend learning python in this game. I like the scenarios and the process of the finishing levels which are aspects of the game, but at the same time I learn python. I need to think more on that. I need the help of the community. What is your opinion? Is it a game or learning?
  13. Days 7-8 (17-18 Sep) - No gaming Still locked in the hotel on quarantine. Busy during the day with work. In the evening - workout, some Netflix and learning. SLowly prorgessing on CS50 course. Very slow. I wish I could learn and perform faster.
  14. Day 7 (16 Sep) Another Day without games.