Band_to_the_Bone

Day 8-9 I got the job! I'm now a full time teacher. It's going to come with a lot of responsibility, but the financial security is huge. I also opened up to my friends about my issues with gaming and brought up other ways that we could socialize together. My wife has been really supportive too.

Day 3-7 Life is getting busier. I have the beginnings of a full-time job, but it's not set in stone yet. I'm working hard to set up lifestyle habits.

Day 3 Good so far. It helps that I've built my planner for success. It encourages daily use with a couple easy daily tasks, but gives me room for creativity and reflection.

Day 2 I'm taking time to use my planner daily. It's going to be another busy week, but I'm going to try and get ahead of my life to minimize stress and desire to play.

Day 1 Another bad day. Putting a lot of pieces in place to support myself getting back on top of gaming. I'm trying to get past two weeks and more.

Day 1 Took a big step back after my last post on 9/28. I got overwhelmed by keeping up with life's responsibilities and returning to working 5 days a week. While I'm glad to have employment again, I'm taking my (now less) time at home and gaming instead of building myself up or connecting with my wife. First my daily journaling went, then I went off the rails. I'm going to stay active on this community as a guide rail to keep me on track.

Day 12-14 A good weekend with ups and downs. I'm still working hard to stay focused and be comfortable without technology. Last week as a whole, was really difficult. I went from being at home full time, to working full time. While a lot of things stayed intact, my mental composure was shaken and I missed some school assignments. I have since rectified the issues, but I need to work on myself to the point where I can maintain the gains that I have made even when I don't have copious amounts of free time.

Day 11 Afternoon Had a really nice class today. Coming home, I realized that I have more energy because I spent less of myself controlling 'exciting' behaviors. My wife is feeling down, so I'm going to invest some of my excess into her so she can have a good day. I still have had a lot of urges to play, and it was nearly impossible to stay focused yesterday. I'm going to update over the next few hours how I do.

I substitute taught Kindergarten classes in a rural school district. There were 4 and 6 kids respectively on Monday and Tuesday. Every kid wore masks when moving / standing up. They could take them off when sitting at desks that were more than 10 feet apart. Kids were respectful in terms of the mask rule, regular behaviors for that age were unaffected. Day 9 and 10 It's been hard to find time to journal when I'm not at home all day. I did feel exhausted from substitute teaching Kindergarten, and there was a tendency to think of gaming as a way to kick back and unwind. Instead I hung out with my wife, cooked, and called family. Not much to report, trying to keep on checklists and about to do some pomodoro sessions. I'm grateful for having a teaching certification, it's helped me get okay paying sub jobs. There's a lot I need to take care of, so I'm going to get right to prioritizing my list and hitting my first pomodoro session.

Day 8 (Yesterday) First day working, which was great. Very busy getting things done, so I didn't get a chance to post. No games. I'll talk more about it on today's post.

Day 7 - Morning I'm going to pick up stuff to learn how to crochet today. I've never been the best at making things with my hands besides music, so I'm excited to get into crafting.

Day 6 - Afternoon After spending time planning out a bunch of activities, my wife and I leisurely picked 4 activities to do today in a nearby town. I think in the 4-year history of our relationship, this is one of the first times I planned a day trip without her asking me to do so. When I'm not constantly diving into distraction during my free time, I find it interesting observing what I choose to do instead. My wife got a haircut this morning, and my first thought was, "Oh great, house to myself. Time to game!". I noticed the thought and actually chuckled at how innate it was. Instead, I practiced trombone, took a shower, and got ready for the day. Yesterday, I was in a group meeting for a grad school class project. Earlier in the week, I took time to make a detailed checklist of our activities needed for the class and worked on it using a Pomodoro timer. As the group was working, it quickly became evident that I'd spent time working hard and understood the assignment. I assumed a leadership role and helped the group finish the assignment in a little over an hour. The next day, the teacher said she was postponing the assignment because other groups were having so much trouble with it. Now, because of the hard work we did yesterday, we have no homework for this week (More time to get ahead on readings). I spoke to my dad about the "3-weeks becoming a habit" thing, and it got me thinking. I feel like this is more of a lifestyle change for me than a detox. That being said, I think it would be nice to reward milestones as I get my "Day count" higher. One of my Pomodoro/checklist tasks led me to getting a $25 amazon gift card, so I invested it back into my work and got my first planner since high school (I may still use my notebook, it's been really fun). Maybe when I hit 90 days I'll pay for my trombone to get a professional cleaning, I haven't done that in too long. Every other time I've tried quitting, I've felt an enormous weight to find a new hobby right away and dive into it. For me right now, just being a functioning adult, bettering myself, and enjoying time with my wife is satisfying a lot of my "human needs" that gaming does. I want to keep pushing ahead in Cam's modules. I've spent so much time on Grad school, I haven't gotten as far as I would like; I guess I'll put that on my list 🙂

Day 5 - Evening I got hired to substitute teach a few days, glad to be back to work. I've been communicating with my wife and family about some of the struggles I've had and what I've learned about the process. They've been supportive. It's kind of late, I just logged on because I wanted to check in. Still doing Pomodoro and writing lists, it's really helping.

Day 4 - morning Short post this morning. Another particularly rough night yesterday, but I don't think that was due to anything related to this forum. I practiced trombone also, which was a big win for me. I made a list last night, prioritized the most important things, and woke up this morning ready to go. I'm trying to balance the line between giving something the attention it deserves and burning out. Pomodoro worked quite well. It helps that the breaks are so short, there isn't enough time to do a new activity and get distracted. Also the breaks prevent me from entering a state of hyperfocus. We'll repeat it again today..