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A day at a time - Panda's daily journal


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Slowly I am recovering. For the first few days I just relapsed on everything. Soda, Games and Junk food. I thought they would help the pain go away but nope they just drained my energy. I did play mobile games today, for a lot of the day. But tomorrow is when I am gonna start my recovery and live up to the bar I set for myself for the first time. 

Some things to note is that For some of the days i was gone, we lost WiFi and Cable due to our driveway being done. The driveway guys completely ripped it out of the ground with their machine. Now we have to have some guys come over to replace it. For school my father took me to our local Church, to use the WiFi there, I did school while he did work. Another thing is our Washing machine broke. Though thankfully it's back now. We also have cable and WiFi back but the wire still needs to be replaced.

For detoxes, I am starting over. Completely new slate. Video games, Junk food, soda, and now I am adding porn and Music. I know I shouldn't be watching porn when I am still a minor, in fact I don't even know why I started watching it. I know the cause, for why it came across my thoughts, and the reason is really stupid, but I don't know why I started to watch it anyways like 3 years ago. Being a minor still is one of the reasons I wanna quit though for my safety and other reasons. Music is because I listen to it way too much. Usually drugs; crack, cocaine, Marijuana, Cigarettes Vapes etc. or Alcohol, people use when they talk about what makes them "high." Well music is basically my drug. It's making me dream my dreams instead of actually working towards them so. It will be fine if my family plays music but I myself won't be able to personally play it. I will still have Spotify for podcasts. 

Speaking of my family I won't worry about whether they made junk food or bought me a soda or anything. During my time away, I have thought of kind responses I can use.  Without hurting their feelings 

Honestly it feels good to be back to this. I think all I needed was a quick break to help me and process everything. It's good to be back to journaling. 

 

@gargamel and @Bird By Bird thanks for the support. While I am sorry you are in/were in similar situations, your comments eased me and helped make me realize I was not alone so thanks! 

 

Anyway gonna go to sleep, seeing a college tomorrow. For my journals moving forward I don't know what I am going to do, but for now I think I am going to write my accomplishments, what I am grateful for, what I can improve on, and to motivate me into the morning, a quote from a successful person, to remind me to be successful. 

Anyways, goodnight y'all, it's good to be back

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Slowly I am recovering. For the first few days I just relapsed on everything. Soda, Games and Junk food. I thought they would help the pain go away but nope they just drained my energy. I did play mob

I didn't just wake up I just had to start classes right away. Day 21 of overcoming video game addiction:    My goals for today: Clean room,  draw,  exercise,  start Ji

Day 1 of overcoming gaming addiction:  Started my day off great! followed my to do list as planned. I woke up, made my bed, exercised, and took out the trash and started my laundry. However, by the

Day 1 

 

Did I play games? No 🙂

Did I eat junk food? No 😄

Did I drink soda? No 8D

Did I watch porn? No 😄

Did I listen to music? No 🙂 

 

Main Journal for today:

Games didn't even cross my mind today! For Junk food and Soda, while we did stop at a Wendy's all I got was just a sandwich and a Lemonade, so no junk food really, still on the unhealthy side in my book. While porn did cross my mind I didn't watch it, and for music, I did play some songs, but none that diverted me from my goals and made me just dream dreams. Most of my day today was visiting that college, I really like it! Though I would agree with my mom that the town around it doesn't feel that safe. Despite that, while I did spend some time on Discord I realized that just texting is not improving my social skills at all. Anyone can just text. Also since it's an alt, I am acting like someone I'm not which is not a good habit. I think I might delete discord and both my accounts for the better. It's hard though to leave the connections you made. One positive though would be spending more time with my friends in real life and making new ones. As I say myself, it's freaky that I know so little about my in real life friends and a lot about the connections I made online. Speaking of online, I wanna use my phone less. It feels like I depend on it, and I don't like that. Despite my use of my phone, I did round off the day strong, I finished my dark laundry, I rode my bike which felt nice against my skin in the cool fall air, and soon I am going to read and meditate! 

One thing to improve on: 

Less phone time

Waking up earlier

 

Have a good evening y'all

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Day 2

 

Did I play games? No 🙂

Did I eat junk food? No 😄

Did I drink soda? No 8D

Did I watch porn? No 😄

Did I listen to music? No 🙂

 

Overall journal for today: 

Compared to yesterday, today was a more lazy day, which is ok, as humans it is impossible to be productive all the time. None of my detoxes ever crossed my mind. As I said before though, today was a lot more lazy. I did attend school, but like yesterday, I spent a lot of time on my phone, which is unhealthy. What was I doing on my phone? Scrolling youtube. The only reason I keep youtube is because of motivational videos but with them you can still fall down the rabbit hole and not get any work done. What's worse for me though is that you aren't able to customize what videos you don't wanna see. I mean like, you can mark videos as non visible in your feed, but what I mean is, if there's a channel that you don't wanna see at all, then you can't block them and their content, even if you report them you can still watch videos. Now maybe there is a way to do this but I was unable to find any. On youtube I ended up re watching one of my favorite shows I watched as a child, instead of working on my homework. Another downside is I missed a college info session, not because of laziness but because somehow my priorities shifted and I forgot. Other than that though, I took a nice walk and watched my Yankees for a bit, and now I am going to bed. Goodnight y'all

 

What to improve on: 

Less Phone

Waking up earlier

Writing down reminders to college things

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Day 3 + Day 4 

 

Did I play games? No 🙂

Did I eat junk food? No 😄

Did I drink soda? No 8D

Did I watch porn? No 😄

Did I listen to music? No 🙂

 

Overall thoughts of yesterday:

Yesterday, wasn't that good. I had a good morning, then went on my phone again, making me miss another college thing. After that and crying for a bit, I took my phone and put it in the back of my closet. I won't use my phone unless I have to submit something or use it for school. I didn't think my phone would be such a distraction again, but I was proven wrong. Maybe taking a break will help.

 

Overall thoughts today:

Today was way better, i got a walk in, finished my homework, was very productive. I think I am noticing a pattern too. Once I wake up, I dont want to get out of bed initially, but then once I get out of bed, I am raring to go and enjoying my productivity. One thing I also realized today is that anything you can do in a game, you can do in real life. For the games where you shoot humans or like GTA, you shouldn't do it, but you still could, (not promoting violence btw). For example, like any of the 2k games, instead of pretending to be a superstar basketball, baseball, hockey, football, player, you could put the game down and practice with a real basketball and a real basketball hoop, and practice to actually be an NBA superstar. So I found that quite interesting. Also today I made it to a college visit.

 

Things to improve on:

Waking up early

start meditating again

have a morning routine

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3 hours ago, royal panda said:

Day 3 + Day 4 

 

Did I play games? No 🙂

Did I eat junk food? No 😄

Did I drink soda? No 8D

Did I watch porn? No 😄

Did I listen to music? No 🙂

 

Overall thoughts of yesterday:

Yesterday, wasn't that good. I had a good morning, then went on my phone again, making me miss another college thing. After that and crying for a bit, I took my phone and put it in the back of my closet. I won't use my phone unless I have to submit something or use it for school. I didn't think my phone would be such a distraction again, but I was proven wrong. Maybe taking a break will help.

 

Overall thoughts today:

Today was way better, i got a walk in, finished my homework, was very productive. I think I am noticing a pattern too. Once I wake up, I dont want to get out of bed initially, but then once I get out of bed, I am raring to go and enjoying my productivity. One thing I also realized today is that anything you can do in a game, you can do in real life. For the games where you shoot humans or like GTA, you shouldn't do it, but you still could, (not promoting violence btw). For example, like any of the 2k games, instead of pretending to be a superstar basketball, baseball, hockey, football, player, you could put the game down and practice with a real basketball and a real basketball hoop, and practice to actually be an NBA superstar. So I found that quite interesting. Also today I made it to a college visit.

 

Things to improve on:

Waking up early

start meditating again

have a morning routine

Keep it up! Being aware of what you can improve on has really helped me and it looks like you already know. Just on the wake up thing, i found it really helps to set an alarm at 9:30pm or so to remind yourself to start preparing for bed. Also electronics don't help you feel tired because they emit blue light which makes your brain think it's still daytime so you could try do some stuff that doesn't require your phone/computer. Forest for a 2 hr timer if you need to! Super keen to see your progress. 

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Day 5 + day 6 + day 7

 

Did I play games? No 🙂

Did I eat junk food? No 😄

Did I drink soda? No 8D

Did I watch porn? No 😄

Did I listen to music? No 🙂

 

Thoughts of 10/ 8/ 20

Two days ago was great. None of the things that i am detoxing crossed my mind, so thats good. I worked hard in school, and so far I have gotten a lot of great grades besides math which is my worst subject but thats fine. I want to get better at it though. Also this day, I realized I want to do many more things than I initially thought for a career. Now it includes having my own business, being a marine biologist and more. Tomorrow 10/11/20, I am going to start working on them.

 

Thoughts of yesterday + today

Yesterday and today were both more on the lazy side. It was phone troubles again. I needed it for school yesterday and I got attached on it other than school. Same thing today, but with my computer. I want to establish a system where I only use technology for important things like school, scouts, ASP (maybe) and more. Other than that I dont want to surf the internet. (oh yeah this forum too, forgot for a second). My use of technology is really getting me off task and that needs to change, but i don't know what system to implement. Also for today and yesterday I did listen to music but none that made me sleep and just dream dreams, which is what the music detox really is about. Not listening to music where i just dream my future. 

Also another thing got on my nerves today. My parents have always told me that just because you have one symptom of something doesnt mean you have it. (Ex: when I was worried I had covid, my mom told me that it was nothing to worry about it was just a low fever. One symptom. I tested negative btw!) But whenever it's depression? Their whole logic and that fact just goes out the window. It's not just my parents, everyone in my family throws the word depression around like it's nothing, (except my 2 youngest brothers, but older than me). Everyone else does though. For one it's not a term that should be just used everyday as some people have serious depressions but even worse, even if an emotion comes from an external source that's supposed to be fun or persuade you to buy something. Well for the persuading one, my oldest brother said after a commercial played "that made me feel depressed." like no depression is not a feeling, well it kind of is but no it's a mental issue, and it has it's own diagnosis. You dont just feel it from time to time like you feel happiness or anger. And for the external source that was supposed to be fun, I was upset last night for like 1 minute because my team got eliminated in sports, and even though i have said many times I am out of my depression to my parents and even though I told them today I had a college open house, my dad was like "get out of your room, youre getting depressed" which was not only insulting to me, I mean why wouldnt you be, someone is literally assuming you have a mental issue when you don't. And two you dont get depressed when youre sports team loses, that just doesnt happen. I just hate how they throw the word depression around like it's nothing, like it's not just sadness, it's more than that. And two staying in your room doesnt automatically mean youre depressed, it could mean a plethora of things, but nope my parents always assume it's depression. I just don't know how I can make their numbskulls realize that one, depression isn't a term that should just be randomly used, two it's not a feeling like anger or happiness that you just get naturally, three how it can be insulting to someone that they say they have mental issues when the person their making assumptions of told them before they don't, and four, how to make them realize that depression is way more complex. I just don't know how

 

anyway, it seems like I am slowly living towards a great life. Seeing a college monday but leaving tomorrow, as it's far. Bye 

 

Things to improve on:

Eat 3 meals a day

have the majority of my day be productive 

reduce screen and youtube time

 

 

 

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On 10/8/2020 at 2:15 AM, Tabula rasa said:

Keep it up! Being aware of what you can improve on has really helped me and it looks like you already know. Just on the wake up thing, i found it really helps to set an alarm at 9:30pm or so to remind yourself to start preparing for bed. Also electronics don't help you feel tired because they emit blue light which makes your brain think it's still daytime so you could try do some stuff that doesn't require your phone/computer. Forest for a 2 hr timer if you need to! Super keen to see your progress.

Yeah I have heard about that, I just am not good yet with my screen usage and time boundaries so its kind of hard for me right now. I wish I could do it now though. But progress...progress. Also I have used forest before but that just helped me with work last year. Since I am more focused this year, idk what to do with it.

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Day 8 + Day 9 + Day 10

 

Did I play games? No 🙂

Did I eat junk food? No 😄

Did I drink soda? No 8D

Did I watch porn? No 😄

Did I listen to music? No 🙂

 

Day 8 + 9 thoughts:

These two days I was in the northwest part of my state. It was beautiful, looked more fall than down here, and I got to see wonderful lakes. It was just magnificent. I was over here as I was looking at a college. On the 11th, we drove there and we got great views of the lake. We stopped to see one of the other colleges in that area and for that college I wouldn't mind spending four years there but nothing really wowed me about it. In the nearby college town I got to eat at this great vegetarian restaurant, I am not vegetarian or vegan but it was still yummy. Then after we drove to our hotel we were staying at a few minutes away from the second college. We ate at this pub and it was also good. This day, games, junk food, porn, soda didn't even cross my mind. I did play music again on this day but none diverting from this shared goal and my personal goals. It was primarily background noise to keep us awake. 

On the 12th I saw the second college, I really like it, however it is farther away from home, but I still really enjoy it. It has a fantastic view of the lake and it is rural, which is the setting in which I want to live. It really felt like some place I would enjoy being for four years, but I shouldn't make that type of assumption yet. This day I also had an interview for one of my top schools, I was really nervous. Since we were on the road, I was afraid that we wouldn't find a place to stop, luckily though we found a Sunoco, so that calmed my nerves. I think that was the longest time I have ever spent at a gas station lol. The interview was still nerve racking but I did it. I am not sure how I did, but I think I did okay, we'll see. However, it was a great basis for my other interview's. After coming back, while Porn and games did cross my mind I didn't give in, the rest were fine. Huzzah!

 

Day 10:

 

I am stressing for today, I have so much work for school, for college, for extra curricular's and overall just normal chores, left undone. I think I am going to grind today on them so that they are done and I don't have to worry about them. Still so many deadlines I have to meet. 

 

Anyway have a good day everyone 

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Day 11 + Day 12 + Day 13 + Day 14

Did I play games? No 🙂

Did I eat junk food? No 😄

Did I drink soda? No 8D

Did I watch porn? No 😄

Did I listen to music? No 🙂

 

Thoughts of day 11 + 12:

These two days were pretty stressful in terms of school, I had so many deadlines to meet and I was staying up really late to do them, which is against my goal but i had to get them done. Anyway, music, games, soda, porn, and junk food didn't cross my mind. On the 14th (day 11) it was my moms birthday which I felt bad about not eating any of her cake and celebrating with her but I told her what I was doing. It's still kind of annoying me though as she keeps putting oreos in my lunch when i am late for school and she has to pack, and she keeps offering me unhealthy foods, which in her mind she keeps forgetting but eh. Day 12 Nothing crossed my mind in terms of detoxes again so yay. This day I was still stressed in terms of school and extra curriculars but I got it all done so I am happy. Overall, I wish I was more productive today as all I did was spend time on discord, which I still struggled with, but I'll get to that in a second.

Thoughts on day 13 + 14: 

Easy days at school, no more deadlines I had to meet so that was good. The reason they spammed me with work is because the interim report passed for the 1st quarter, now us students are just waiting for the teachers to enter their p/f grades. I'm positive I am passing all my classes. After school I got around to the chores I didn't do, I emptied my lunch box from the day at school, I took my dirty laundry downstairs, and started trying on my current clothes to see what fits me, and what does, sorting them into summer and winter clothes. From there I am going to put my summer clothes away for next summer and the winter clothes in my dressers. For today, that's something I am going to continue. After that though I left to my summer house to stay overnight, in the morning (day 14) we left to see another college, I felt the same way as the one I saw the other day, wouldn't mind staying there for 4 years, but nothing stands out. Then we took a trip to a college I saw already to see it again. This was a college that I was super crazy about at first but now I am not so crazy about it. I think after I see one more of my colleges on the 24th I am going to apply early decision to the second college I saw, that I mentioned in my last entry. But we'll see. Anyway, this day gaming didn't cross my mind neither anything else. And also in terms of discord, I figured out what was pulling me to it and what made me coming back was the great memories I experienced as I grew older. However I told myself, there will be a lot of great memories you'll have to leave, and it's hard but they open the way to more even greater memories, so now I am quitting it full time. 

Have a good week y'all, today I am gonna work on my clothes, exercise, read, do my laundry, work on homework, and learn new recipes and math.

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On 10/3/2020 at 10:43 PM, royal panda said:

Music is because I listen to it way too much. Usually drugs; crack, cocaine, Marijuana, Cigarettes Vapes etc. or Alcohol, people use when they talk about what makes them "high." Well music is basically my drug. It's making me dream my dreams instead of actually working towards them so. It will be fine if my family plays music but I myself won't be able to personally play it.

@Martinof 

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So maybe listen to a different genre of music that doesn't remember you your addictions. I think that stopping too many things (games, junk food, soda, porn, music) may be too much to handle on the long term. And that you may relapse because of that.

If you think you can handle it, good luck

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No more, I am saying no more. Yes I relapsed, and the reason for it, I consider an excuse. I relapsed to games and junk food. Both reasons were I missed them, which is not an excuse and not one I should have made. I forgive myself though, I mean, I have been playing games for years and now I am in the process of quitting it. Making the attempt to quit something which was a habit for so long is not an easy feat. I know though that I can do it this time. Yes, there will be urges, yes it will be tempting to go back, yes I will face plethora of emotions both up and down the spectrum and yes I will face negative thoughts. However, with all this, I can turn to you guys, peers, my friends, teachers, psychologist and of course relatives and family. All will be helpful. Humans aren't my only resource, I also have the ability to see any motivational video I want. In fact for the Gym assignment today in school, it was the story of a man named Kevin who was born with one arm. Furthermore, he faced a lot of hardships i.e. his dad dying of cancer, his parents getting divorced, getting cut from the basketball team because his coach said it was a two handed sport etc. Despite all these challenges, he succeeded and made it into the next basketball team he tried out for, leading all the way to professionals in Japan/China/Korea I dont remember which country, and then he started telling his story to others and has inspired millions. So him with one arm being able to do all that, is a sign that even with my mild cerebral palsy and my easy dopamine controlled mind I can do anything.

Despite relapsing a positive of today was I vacuumed and I raked leaves off the driveway so thats good. I also think I did well on my college interview!

Also @Martinof even though I relapsed right now. All those things weren't too hard or even hard at all to handle. I could easily juggle them all, just the urges man they pulled me in. Also it's all music that makes me just dream dreams. 

Edited by royal panda
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Day 1 

 

Today, the only game I played was among us but that's because my scout friends decided to play it for their game, so I joined in. This though will be once in a blue moon, as they say. After the games I deleted it. Despite playing no other games I spent a lot of time in the youtube rabbit hole. On one hand I want to delete it but at the same time, I think motivational videos help me so I don't know what I can do so I can still obtain some knowledge from motivational videos without falling down the rabbit hole. Other than that issue though today was okay. I had a good time socializing with my friends and I exercised. So not all's bad. Starting tomorrow I am going to write down 5 goals each morning in my journal and then do the 5 second count down then do them. my 5 goals for the day will help me ensure I maintain hobbies and keep my life on track. Accordingly, I will also write down 5 things I could do that day to step outside of my comfort zone. The first one for tomorrow is a club. Even though I did some clubs in high school Freshman, Sophomore, and Junior year, I wasn't really committed to them due to social anxiety, so now I am forcing myself to be committed to this one. 

Grateful for: My scout friends and how supportive they are.

Positive of the day: I exercised

What to improve tomorrow: Less screen, more water, get up on time for school and self-time.

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Day 2

Although I didn't get to write down my 5 goals for the day or do 5 things outside of my comfort zone today, I did do some things still that were out of my comfort zone. One was today at school we did a cohort competition, (for our hybrid model system) cohort a wore black on Tuesday and my cohort wore white. This is because those are the school colors. A lot of people didn't wear white today, but I went all out, every piece of me was white which I wouldn't have done before. In the past I still would have worn white but probably just like a white shirt. The other thing was that club I mentioned. It was really fun and I am even more excited about it than I was prior, I am even in part of helping lead and design two of our campaign months with the other members. Anyway in terms of games, none crossed my mind, and I didn't play. For some reason it always feels like the first few days of my detox, maybe even the first week are fine, with no urges but when I get to the latter half of the second week they seem to come around, the urges. I am not sure. We'll see what the other weeks are like though. This afternoon nothing much happened, even though for me this week felt fast, I was pooped after it so I took a nap. Didn't help though, as slept from like 5:00 PM when I finished early dinner to almost 9:00. So yeah. For some reason now I am not tired but I am still gonna go to bed so I can get up bright and early tomorrow, to exercise, and get my laundry and some homework done before I visit another college tomorrow. Good night y'all

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Day 3 

Unfortunately I also didn't get to the 5 things each, for comfort zone and goals that I write down. From now on though, even if my brain and body don't feel like it, I will try to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier to do so. As they say, "Early to bed early to rise", and "the early bird gets the worm." Despite not getting to write those things down, I accomplished a lot today. I didn't play any games, I saw the college, and I really liked it, I put away and started a new load of laundry, and I cleaned my room. So productive day in terms of chores, in terms of other stuff, I still spent a lot of time on my phone. For this I think I might re download forest. That app really helped me not only eliminate distractions for my work, but it also helped me stay off my phone for the time I allotted, so I might re download it again to minimize my phone usage. Anyway, so far so good, looking forward to day 4!

Gratefulness: (Yesterday) Wearing all white, joining the club and speaking out for the leader role. (Today) finally getting my laundry done, my accessibility to education, life. 

Positive of the day: room cleaning, seeing the college. 

What to improve tomorrow: Write down 5 things for goals and comfort zone, re download forest to minimize phone, getting to bed earlier so I can wake up earlier.

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Sorry you relapsed recently. I haven't been very active in the forums because of my exam. Relapse happens and it takes such a long time to build up that ability to move forward. But each step is a step in the right direction. Just remain true to yourself and be realistic. Don't be overly positive or negative during different swings. Take it in stride. 

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@BooksandTrees Thanks for the support. You are absolutely right about coping with relapsing. That's why I forgave myself for it. I believe it's important for you to simply acknowledge that you relapsed and it will happen, like you said. Doing this 90 day detox takes a lot of discipline and it will be hard, so totally agree! 

Day 4 

Despite waking up late I still was able to get 4 out of the 5 things to do outside my comfort zone done! However, I failed to stay off my phone for most of the day. While it's not gaming it's still giving you that easy dopamine and is a crusher of achieving dreams if you let it control you for too long. One thing I hate is the idea that I am dependent on my phone, yet I don't know how to avoid it. After this I will redownload forest. Anyway, in terms of games, day 4 was successful, no games at all. One of the positives of today was walking my dog and cooking. I find that cooking is a very nice way for me to get off that quick dopamine hit, and also food. I also started a puzzle. Despite staying on my phone, one of the things I was doing was watching one of my old childhood shows that I watched. I wasn't able to recall it for a bit but then I realized that one of the shows I watched was about how to have a healthy and balanced lifestyle so yeah. Still could have done more productive things instead, so I will try to do that tomorrow.

Gratefulness: Walking my dog and living on this beautiful earth

Positive: Walking the dog and cooking

What to improve tomorrow: Less phone, try to wake up earlier, do more things outside of my comfort zone 


My mom just told me to throw out the trash so I will do that, then I will read bye

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No problem. Focus on one thing at a time. I tried quitting like 5 things at once and it backfired. I quit social media and video games and now I have lowered the amount of porn I watch by over 80% and it gets better with time. Then I started eating better and lost 30 lbs over 3 months instead of trying to lose it in 1 month. Just enjoy the moment and slowly do one thing at a time. Over time you will appreciate it.

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@BooksandTrees Yeah I will do that! When I was focusing on quitting a lot of things at once I didnt realize until now I was multi-tasking. When you multi-task you can do worse on whatever it is your doing since your energy is heading towards many things and is unable to perform as well. But if I focus on one thing all my energy is going towards that. So will do!

 

Day 5 

Forgot to write down 5 things to do outside my comfort zone. I really need to start doing that. A lot of time I don't get to the goals I wanna achieve because I don't want to do them. Yeah, I won't ever want to do it if it never becomes a habit of doing it. If I don't start my goals then I will always hate it or see it as worthless or boring. Which is bad on my end because then instead of starting and working on making meaningful things a habit, I resort to mindlessly binging youtube and/or spending all day on a screen. Yes, mind, I will not like waking up at first, but if I never actually commit to doing it and going against my thoughts then I will hate it and push it off for longer, which is not what I am trying to achieve. Anyway, based off that you can infer most of my day was youtube, and you'd be correct. I don't regret that my past 5 days were mostly youtube though, as it's just the beginning of  a new non gaming cycle and this is what will happen, I will head towards another passive replacement for games like youtube, but through these days, I can learn of ways to fight it and then later on not have it happen. However, Forest did really help with my phone, I still used it a lot but it helped. I actually need to be aware of starting the session. I think for my phone tomorrow I am going to do my best to minimize touching it. As for years I have seen the same things, and that's what happens every time you turn on your phone, your lock screen background and the time, then your apps and your home screen background. That's all it is in my view, I haven't done much research but from what I have experienced, thats what it is. I think phones are addicting because like games, it gives you a sense of connection to the world around you, and other people, its a way to stimulate the brain, and it serves as an escape from problems. With all that though, phones can serve purposes, you can learn a new hobby through Youtube, you can learn a foreign language in Duolingo or other language apps, you can text and call your friends from the world or country and even facecall them in zoom, Google meets or Apple FaceTime. To avoid the negatives, I would need to always be conscience in the things I'm doing on my phone and why I turned my phone on. In order to help me I just thought of this question, "Is this something important? Do I really need to be doing this now?" If the answers no I will turn off my phone, if the answers yes, I will do the thing then turn off my phone. I think this will really aid me in minimizing my phone usage. Anyway, despite today I had great things, I worked more on the puzzle, I completed my homework, I walked outside and explored my stream, which was way more fun than sitting online, and I did more laundry. Tomorrow i have an interview which I am nervous for but eh, if it's not a good fit then it's for the better and honestly it's a school that has dropped in my list. Anyway bye!

Gratefulness: my ability to hear and see and smell, nature, family

Positive: Exploring my stream, puzzle, completing Homework, laundry

What to improve tomorrow: less internet, start committing on actually making things habits.

 

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Day 6 

 

Very productive day, got all of my work done. I even stayed off my phone and overall the internet (besides school) all day! So thats good. Some of my recreational activities today primarily consisted of shooting hoops with the basketball hoop we have on our driveway, I did pretty well. I also went on a short walk outside to give myself a break in between classes. I did the 5 things outside my comfort zone and for that number, I think I am going to diminish it to one goal for the day and one thing to do outside my comfort zone. That's because it just wastes your energy to focus on multiple things at once so yeah. The college interview went well, it will be interesting to see how I stand with that school now, as that school is kind of a reach. Speaking of school, I know I shouldn't worry about grades but my math teacher recommended some IXL (a math site) skills for me, and I took it as a sign of her wanting to help me because I am struggling, I am going to ask her about it on extra help and ask her if she has any tips or resources I can use to catch up. Math is my worst subject, and I really want to end that off strong instead of like with a C or a B-, B or B+, I really want to excel in that subject at least with an A-. Let me know if you have any tips for that, I am currently in Precalculus. Besides that, today was good. I didn't play games, in fact it didn't cross my mind, and I did an excellent job in fighting urges for just youtube distraction when it would come up. So yeah overall an excellent day. 

Gratefulness: Food, Family, My Teacher 

Positives: Received an A- on a Marine Bio quiz, Played Basketball, counted towards my exercise, interview went well.

What to improve: Long term goal, Math Skills, Short term goals, going to bed earlier, not using phone 1 hour before bed, getting back into reading, writing, and meditating.

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Day 7

 

Didnt game at all today so today was a success! One thing I noticed though was I stayed a lot on my phone. Some of it was meaningless things but most of the day it was Duolingo, I started learning German. While Duolingo is helpful doing it all the time is not only not an unhealthy lifestyle but it's still your phone/ a screen so you should limit your time on those things. I did learn a lot of German though. Besides that I was able to do the one thing outside my comfort zone and that was I called my brother or I facetimed him. In general I don't use facetime and normally I don't initiate to face call a family member and today I did it, it was nice to see him again. What I said about my math was false, turns out those lessons on IXL were for everyone, so it just made me ahead in the sense that I already completed the levels. Other positives of the day were I went on a walk which was beautiful and I started meditating tonight, I am hoping it becomes a permanent habit of my lifestyle, hopefully yoga too! Anyway, shorter entry tonight as I am tired and I want to wake up for school early tomorrow and start waking up earlier in general. Bye

 

Gratefulness: My brother, my ability to walk

Positives: Helped with dinner, learned German, walk, meditation

What to improve tomorrow: early rise and again less screens. 

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