Jump to content
×
×
  • Create New...

A day at a time - Panda's daily journal


Recommended Posts

Day 1 of overcoming gaming addiction: 

Started my day off great! followed my to do list as planned. I woke up, made my bed, exercised, and took out the trash and started my laundry. However, by the afternoon things took a turn. I suddenly got pre-occupied about an upcoming boss in M&L:BIS, so instantly I signed up for gamefaqs, and asked about it, like the site says I got a response in under an hour. After the response I went and played for most of the day. This led to scrolling through Twitter and discord a bit and of course youtube. 

Later on, around 3:00 PM my mind snapped back into reality, and what overcame me was disappointment sadness, headache etc. This all overcame me yet it's the first day and the first few weeks will always be the hardest. This undoubtedly led me to this forum, I have heard of game quitters before, but never gave it a chance and so now I am giving it that chance. After watching a few videos I went into this determined surge of no games, so I put my devices in the back of my closet. Despite this, I am a victim of the yo-yo effect with gaming, I act all productive and plan for the day tomorrow after gaming and the next day I game.

Despite that, I know I will overcome it, like everything you work at it comes and then it goes sometimes, I believe this addiction will go. One thing I realized today though is that gaming, like reading is a story, gaming gives you a story, the difference though is that in reading you use your brain to make pictures in your mind, and that tells a story, while in gaming all you need to figure out the story is just push buttons, not even use your brain. 

I am grateful for today though for going out with my mom, to get some books, I got a self-improvement book called "Live your dreams" by Les Brown, I also got a assignment planner for school this year, so I can track assignments with everything going on. 

I am hopeful for a good tomorrow, and I am determined to end gaming for good

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 86
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Slowly I am recovering. For the first few days I just relapsed on everything. Soda, Games and Junk food. I thought they would help the pain go away but nope they just drained my energy. I did play mob

I didn't just wake up I just had to start classes right away. Day 21 of overcoming video game addiction:    My goals for today: Clean room,  draw,  exercise,  start Ji

Day 21 of overcoming video game addiction - afternoon:   What goals did I complete?  I cleaned my room I exercised (2/4)   Detoxes:  Video game detox: Success n

I loved how you compared gaming to reading a book. I think that gaming can lead to less imagination, fantasy and even dreaming. Reading a book can really help to get some of these connections back I feel. 

Good luck with your jouney!

 

 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 2 of overcoming gaming addiction - morning: 

Struggled to get out of bed this morning, I have to regulate towards waking up on time for school this year. However, that's hard when my thoughts are consumed by this girl, and debating on my sexuality. I believe that I'm bisexual, but i keep thinking, what if my parents don't accept me? What will my friends say? How will my Scout leaders react? And also there's the fear of being rejected by her because we're both girls, so I feel the need to act like I'm straight.

In terms of games, it was tempting to turn on Bowser's Inside Story but I didn't, was thinking of going on discord to see what my friend said about my quitting video game message, but I forgot to close the tab, so it was already open. On top of that, the girl I mentioned earlier appeared in my dreams and she asked what my favorite game was, and I'm thankful my mind explained to her that it was no game and I was (in my dream) 30 days clean. So far so good today.

Still struggling to be motivated to do things, like responsibilities, my mind still wants that quick dopamine boost that I get from games. However, I will work hard to do that. Finally, I still don't know what I want to do as a career, I'm fighting over being an author, a builder, making music, coding, or motivationally speaking, but I feel if I invest in each, for a period of time, I will find out which one is for me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

@C_tail Thank you! Also I agree with that statement, whenever I am reading, I get so curious about what happens next with the characters, and unlike with games I am much more invested in the story. When I'm playing games I just feel like a zombie going through the story, instead of feeling like a human.

Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, Erik2.0 said:

Welcome to the forums. Good luck in your game quitting. Sounds like your struggle is slowly coming to an end and you'll be game free in no time.

Ey thanks! I wouldn't say my struggle is slowly coming towards an end, despite not having a bad addiction, there are so many skills I could've obtained if I didn't spend time on games. Some I need to gain over the course of the school year for college, like productivity, social skills etc. There are so many things I can improve on. The thing is I'm struggling with how to start and keep it. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 2 of overcoming gaming addiction - afternoon: 

Today had good moments but had bad moments as well, I finished my laundry and started on my room again and I have made progress, but then my thoughts got pre-occupied by the girl again and so instead of finishing up my room, I let in and listened to music, when I listen to music, my mind comes to a scene of a campout with other Scout friends, me and that girl and it's like this fantasy dream. While music is better than games for a lot of people, it isn't for me. It's another big distraction, it's a distraction because I love it. However, instead of actually making music I play music already made and use that to dream and imagine, instead of creating something made by me. 

Reason I don't follow through with music or writing is because I am afraid of what others will think, even though I know no one will think of it until it's finished and I release it, I just get fears while writing it for some reason. 

In terms of games, I only turned on my DS as I was studying for the SAT I started to Play my SAT coach, turns out it isn't that good, so I stuck with Khan Academy's study. Only played for like 5 minutes

To make up for my day, I made another routine and I hope I can follow through with it. I need to remember I control my thoughts, so if i am giving into my thoughts to do something unproductive then that's frightening for me. 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 3 of overcoming video game addiction -morning:

Today has started off strong so far, I woke up at 6:00 AM, and have exercised already, and now I am writing this. While I did have the girl in my dreams, she wasn't in my dreams when I was about to wake up so it was easier. 

In terms of games, nothing yet, I hope it stays that way! On top of that, I'm starting the 90 - day detox today. 

For some reason however, I have this feeling that I'm thinking of doing something unproductive, not my goals, and i don't know what it is. It's not games, it's not music, it's not pre-occupying my thoughts I just don't know what it is. I am not sure if it is normal though...feeling that your thinking of unproductive things yet nothing is there. Oh well, just hope it doesn't turn into something unproductive 

This morning I'm grateful for getting up when my alarm went off. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 3 of overcoming video game addiction - afternoon:

Followed my routine today, with a bit of a halting in the afternoon, it was the music again. I think to be able to live my best life I will have to not only cut out video games but lay back on music. I don't know how I'll be able to do this since 2 years of my life now have been music and music and music. 

During the afternoon around lunch I felt upset, not sad but upset. I think this is due to the fact that quarantine is making me feel trapped, yet with states reopening I can do things cautiously. Even with no license yet I can still go out and do fun things with my mom. I also realized that me not wanting to go out and pursue my dreams is not only fear of what others will think but me wanting them now, so listening to music is how i get them now. However, that's not a good mindset to have because I can actually obtain those goals if I work for it. 

Some dreams, like breakdancing and being with that girl I can get, yet I would need to practice breakdancing daily and improve my social skills, and habits. Also with improving my writing, or becoming stronger, I can do that I just have to practice. I read so many stories of people being homeless, on the brink of death and yet in a few years they are the richest person in the country. I know that happened due to their persistence and hunger for their goals, yet I don't do it for mine. It's not based off me not knowing what I want to do career wise. I think it's because I have gotten so comfortable in my comfort zone and I don't wanna know the possible risks or uncertainty of the future, yet if I never do it, I'll never reach my goals, so that's what I will work on tomorrow.

In terms of games, detox day one was successful, played no games at all. However, I did go on youtube and watch other entertaining non-game stuff which is okay I think?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, MuMuMelon said:

Personally, I think non video game related content is okay. Within reason of course. Too much of anything isn't healthy. 

Thanks for your opinion, and also that's one lesson I learned back when I was playing hours of Animal Crossing and Mario, after I would get cranky, and that would be a sign I played too much and it was time to stop.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Bit of a quick update more focused on life: 

While I have no idea what I want to do as a career yet, I know my goals and the things I am interested in. And I am tired of pushing them to the side because of fear, or not being in the mood. So I am writing a bullet list down of my goals and interest and working on each one (one after the other) daily. Because of gaming my mind has slipped into this "you get results easy" mind i think, because in games, you can get results easily, even if you barely play the game. However, it's the opposite in real life. 

I will write down my goals, interests and dreams here, so in case I write that I am not in the mood, you all could help give me a boost to get back on track: 

[Goals]
Helping people

Being physically and mentally healthy 

Living a balanced and happy life 

[Career Interests]

Music

Coding

Writing

Motivational Speaking

Building/ Crafting

 

[Smaller Dreams]

Doing a flip 

Breakdancing 

Going into a relationship (with the girl or another)

 

While I think routine's are important, and I am going to keep one, I am not gonna have it rigid, I am simply just going to follow, reading, student work/study, and my wake up and sleep times, the rest however, will be dedicated to the dreams goals and interests I listed. On top of all this, I wanna try to do something out of my comfort zone every day.

Anyway I'mma sleep, big day tomorrow goodnight y'all

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 4 of overcoming video game addiction - morning:

Didn't wake up at the time of my alarm but that's was alright with me. But today I still made my bed, and exercised, I also practiced the first steps before I can start break dancing. So far so good. 

In terms of games, haven't played yet, yet I was tempted when I saw my Wii remote just sitting there on the table. But I didn't give in. 

Going to my summer house upstate for the weekend, bringing my phone only to work on school stuff and for the forums

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 4 of overcoming game addiction - afternoon: 

Played no games today so thats good, detox day 2 was successful. However I did spend a lot of time on my phone, I wanna cut down time on that a bit. To the point where I only use it if I have to text/call someone or look something up. 

Besides that it was a fine afternoon, arrived at my summer house, and my uncle is here. I never really enjoyed the beauty of this place while gaming, so today I finally was able to recognize it and enjoy it. 

Still struggling with focusing on stuff. But as for my other goals, I think this forum is honestly helping me with not caring about what others will think of me. I have been editing my message to make it perfect a lot less. So thanks y'all

Still trying to figure out what to do though and still debating on my sexuality. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 5 of overcoming my video game addiction - morning:

I slept in today, which was pretty disappointing but had a good start nonetheless. In terms of technology use, it didn't start off great, I woke up, checked Amino, and facebook. And been on it since. 

In terms of games it'll be good for the next few days, once again I am at my summer house and I didn't bring any systems. On top of that I feel like the temptation to play is going away so that's good. 

 

For my self-improvement, I feel like I am back at square one. Yesterday I learned that you shouldn't keep on looking and looking for one passion like everyone says, as there is multiple passions and you can be passionate in anything you do. While this is great and all, it also makes me upset because the years I spent playing games pushed away other hobbies I could have now. And now I don't know what I can fill time with. 

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

 

33 minutes ago, royal panda said:

For my self-improvement, I feel like I am back at square one. Yesterday I learned that you shouldn't keep on looking and looking for one passion like everyone says, as there is multiple passions and you can be passionate in anything you do. While this is great and all, it also makes me upset because the years I spent playing games pushed away other hobbies I could have now. And now I don't know what I can fill time with. 

 

Hey @royal panda, I totally hear where you are coming from on this. It's not easy accepting the time that you lost that could have been put to better use. Some days I still struggle with this. However, there is no point in focusing on what could have been. It does you no good. Try to focus on what you are doing now and what you can do with the time you have freed up for yourself since you quit. Again, I know it isn't easy but I truly believe that focusing on "what could have been" is of no value. Do your best to focus on now and come to terms with what was.

I wish you well. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Lookup lists of hobbies and things to do. That's what I did when I didn't know what to do with my free time. Now I lift weights, do yoga, go hiking, ride a bike, journal, write poetry, cook/eat and watch tv. I still feel like I don't do all that much, but with the new addition of hiking I feel like I'm doing enough things to be happy with it. Also I might start biking which is kind of exciting. I'm trying to decide if I want to buy a GT mountain bike from Dick's. I got 100$ for selling a free bike and I'll probably get $100 birthday money that I can use towards a new bike. 

Here's a list of hobbies I found: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hobbies

It's pretty comprehensive. If you could find one thing to do on there that sticks I'd consider it a huge success. In my experience I tried a lot of hobbies before I found anything that I could continue with. Good luck.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, MuMuMelon said:

 

Hey @royal panda, I totally hear where you are coming from on this. It's not easy accepting the time that you lost that could have been put to better use. Some days I still struggle with this. However, there is no point in focusing on what could have been. It does you no good. Try to focus on what you are doing now and what you can do with the time you have freed up for yourself since you quit. Again, I know it isn't easy but I truly believe that focusing on "what could have been" is of no value. Do your best to focus on now and come to terms with what was.

I wish you well. 

Thank you for your tip. Sometimes whenever I realize something about what I've done in the past or slip into a negative mindset, I just think about it and worry about it for weeks on end. Later, I realize that it was silly to even worry but it's a repeating loop for me sometimes, thinking about the past and my past mistakes. 

@Erik2.0 I have looked at that list before. But when I last looked at it I was still looking for that one passion but now without having to worry about that I think I might have an easier time? I'm not sure as though I am working hard on being able to start and continue to things, I still struggle with it. About finding one thing that sticks, it would be a huge success but not to my brain. A lot of the time I take things for granted and I also think I need to succeed at a lot of things to feel happy, despite my knowledge of that not being the case. We'll see how it goes.

 

Day 5 of overcoming video game addiction -afternoon 

No games today, as didn't bring any games to my summer house. Napped a lot today as I was tired but still swam and had a nice kayak. 

During the kayak I realized that a lot of people take things for granted, and I am in a good situation financially and emotionally. Hopefully this mood continues throughout my life and I start appreciating the little things.

One problem today was my dad, usually I enjoy being around my dad but this afternoon he was a pain. First off when author, J.K. Rowling's controversial comments came up, I made my statement of saying she was a bad person, which was my opinion. However then like a lot of people with opinions he countered it and said "She is not a bad person, she just has different views." This made me pissed. I took this as him semi-supporting her comments. I haven't told my parents that I am debating on my sexuality as I didn't know their stance on LGBTQ+ but with that, and while he is right everyone has their own views, doesn't help me with whether I should come out yet. It makes me seem like I need to hide it more. Then when I was looking at college websites, I was looking at the clubs for information and he said "you shouldn't worry about the clubs." Yet I wasn't worrying at all and I was just looking for information. I'm glad that my mom jumped in on my side and said it's good for information, but all this just made me wanna punch him, which I don't normally think of doing with people who upset me. 

Sorry for that rant, this afternoon he just really pissed me off and I wanted to let off some steam. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah finding hobbies is a process. Good luck with it. All I found off that list that I do is binge watching. This forum is probably a healthy safe way of blowing off steam. Much better I would say than actually punching someone or something.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 6 of overcoming video game addiction: 

Didn't do a morning journal as wasn't up to it but something did spark this afternoon. 

I came back from my summer house upstate, and it was really fun! In terms off games didn't play again or watch gaming content yay! This concludes day 4 of my detox. Speaking of detox I also wanna do a phone detox, while I have no games or social media on it besides youtube, if I am on it, I stay on it. But if I am off it it's not a problem, basically a detox until I feel like I can use it in moderation. 

In terms of life, I did realize 2 things I wanna fill time with, walking and meditating, I feel like both will help me on my way. The second thing is that daily routines are dumb, they can work for others but for me they're just stupid, I do believe it's important to write down on a list things that need to be completed, and time blocking/ routines can help people with games but, finding that perfect routine or creating the best morning ritual is just baloney to me. For me what works best is writing down a list of things that need finishing and then just living my life in the present, cause not always will we have those days where we can do our daily routine, so yeah. I would like a small morning ritual though of getting up reading a Psalm and meditating but I don't need like 50 things like a bunch of my self-improvement youtubers are saying. 

On top of that, I think I learned how to turn negatives/embarrassing moments into positives, idk if I did because a lot of the time, once I am inspired to do something I feel inspired and then the next day I don't feel that way/ do it but we'll see. 

One thing I am struggling with though is accepting my flaws and ending this self-improvement thing because I have improved so much but my brain wants to improve till perfection, when I know there is no perfection. I just don't know what to do and I don't know how to accept myself for who I am.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 7 of overcoming video game addiction: 
 

Wow! It's been a week since joining the forums! I can say, this has definitely helped me with making sure I don't resort back to gaming. I will return to morning posts tomorrow.

Didn't play today, however, I am feeling strong urges to play the NBA, NFL, and MLB 2k games I have, however I didn't, and to make sure I don't I keep telling myself, "you can play after your 90 days if you want to play in moderation." That statement has helped tremendously.

I found something new I enjoy doing and that is dancing, like regular dancing with it I understood something that was holding me back, my fear of my own thoughts/ fear of being myself. Dancing in front of my mirror really helped me with that, and I felt so much happier, and overall it's just fun!

Other than that I had a pretty good day today, found a channel that will help me with my remaining anxieties and depressive symptoms, I listened to a podcast about self acceptance and I cleaned my room and got some schoolwork done. A lot of things!

Tomorrow is my last day of summer before school starts and I hope to make the most of it!

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 8 of overcoming video game addiction - morning:

Today is going good so far, just wish I got up earlier and didn't waste it by only listening to music. But in terms of games, so far so good, this is detox day 6, time does fly wow. Feels like I only started the detox yesterday.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 8 of overcoming video game addiction afternoon:

Good day today, while I do have a bit of a headache, it went well. I did some schoolwork and starting preparing for school tomorrow. Speaking of school tomorrow, for the rest of the school year (however long that is) I will only write journals in the morning, that's because in the afternoon, i will have a lot of crap going on so yeah. 

For games, didn't play at all, however, without thinking I typed mario kart in the search bar, but didnt search it and erased it immediately. I also had the thoughts of Animal Crossing but didnt play. 

I seriously need to focus on accomplishing my goals and not about what do I find interesting, that I can access for gratitude right now? I should focus on the dedication that is required for accomplishing goals. Not only can the journey be fun but the achievement of said goal is much more satisfying and fulfilling than what you can receive right away

One thing I feel bad for though is getting up in my parents business. I won't explain the details, but it's very stressful for them, and while I didn't eavesdrop, that's what they took that as (I think) so I feel bad for doing that, I should've focused more on what's important for me. 

That's another issue I have, while I am worried what people will think of me, I am so interested in what others are doing when I really shouldn't. I think this is due to my lack of self-appreciation, and the thought that I am missing out on things, (I don't have many friends at school and people at school talk so much gossip about people that I never heard about, yet I shouldn't worry about it since it is gossip and isn't important anyways). I am currently working on self-appreciation so maybe if I keep working I won't be so interested.

But other than that it was a good day. Tomorrow is school 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.