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@alvayusoThanks I do my best to deal with the schizo I'm hoping this new med will work on it but I think there's a kind of low success rate so we'll see. I know well the trap of weed games and masturbating. I used to do that too. Weed is linked with causing schizo I think it was part of what caused mine to develop too. Maybe my symptoms will improve over time i've been off substances for two years. I am a resident therapist. I don't think it's making their problems too personal. I just have something wrong with me and people where I feel really uncomfortable around most people. I'm trying to push through it but sometimes I jsut have to run the other way. My boss just ganged up on me with a coworker and got on my case for not being nice enough in my emails which sucked. I'm enduring the suicidal thoughts as best I can. Thanks.

Positive: TGIF

Yeah friday. Last day of work. I hope I don't have to do much all day and can just watch tv at work like I do most of the time. That's the best. My client wants me to skate with him but I Think skating might cause me acne so I'm more inclined to just sit in my car and watch tv on my phone so whatever. I dunno maybe i'll try skating a little. I've applied to all the jobs on indeed. 10 interviews and no workable job later I'm almost out of options. Gonna try other job sites now to see if there's something I missed.

I smiled at ziprecruiter

I accomplished getting mom to do my laundry

I am grateful for zip, mom, laundry, pillow cases, clean stuff, sweater for 6$, hands, jacket, pen and side tables

God bless

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I hope the new med works well on you man, it is a process of trying and realizing which one works the best with you right? As far as I know, there is no rule for schizo meds, they just work better or worse in different people. Yeah, weed is linked to triggering schizophrenia, on the bright side, you always had it there, so it could be worse if you triggered it when older, I don't know to be honest. In my case it has been like a feeling of not being able to control my mind, I usually speak to myself even during basic actions, such as cleaning my hands or something, I start saying like: there we go so now checking this, and maybe pee... hahah it sounds stupid, but I think it could be due to be alone way too much. I live with my parents, but the relationship is shit (it has always been shit, that is one of the reasons I just played videogames everyday, but in the past, when I felt worse and I was not living with my parents, I could be dragged inside worries and thoughts, and due to weed effects, I sometimes realized that I was thinking out loud in front of a wall in my room (I lived with other 2 guys, so I usually felt like my room was the safe place, and did not leave it, even if I did not have a bad relationship with them), that thing, plus the constant chatter in my mind, and being unable to relax without my vices, leaded me to think I was schizophrenic, and suffering schizophrenic symptoms due to weed consumption maintained over a long period of time apparently is something common too, it is called 'paranoia', but I was so scared of having it that I also developed that kind of hypochondria... It was such a hard time for me in life, for real...

Anyway, I would like to know how you developed the schizophrenia and how you realized it, a bit of your story, if you don't mind of course.

Well, if you are a therapist there is nothing I can tell you, I am sure you have a therapist too that can help you, telling you advices on how to overcome that feeling when you are next to people in a slow and steady way right?

When they said you were not nice enough in your emails, you mean emails between to your clients or to them? I know how you feel... Try to give it some perspective, you could be facing worse problems with your boss or co-workers, but instead you are suffering from stupidities from then don't you think?

P.S.: I started skateboarding 2 weeks ago, why should it give you acne dude? Hahaha, give it a try, start slow, maybe you enjoy it! It is definitely very relaxing (to me), and a much better way to spend your time than watching the silly box ;)

I send you my best wishes this new year friend.

'If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it' -Mary Engelbreit.

 

 

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@alvayuso

Well talking to yourself isn't the worst symptom. Although I'm sure it could be bothersome for people around you. I'm the opposite I need everything quiet all the time. I'm pretty sure I was severely abusing marijuana by smoking huge quantities of it with people. And I think doing that for 10 years messed me up semi permanently. Now I have all these disorders that are just awful and incurable as of yet. I can't watch any videos except a few shows, no games/board games, no books art or music, no sports, and i feel uncomfortable around most people. I basically can't do almost everything there is to do in life. It's all bad. But there's nothing much I can do so I'm just trying to live as best I can with the disorders. No the emails from me to my coworkers/boss. Re skateboarding everything gives me acne. Watching videos gives me acne, all sports do too. I don't know what the logic is that makes it happen I'm just aware whenever I do them I breakout later even some people talking to does this too. Happy new year to u too.

Edited by TheNewMe2.0
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Positive: Getting covid vaccine today.

That'll be okay. Hopefully I don't get any side effects from it. I kind of don't want to get it because I'm scared of side effects more than covid. But whatever I guess it's like a flu shot so let's do it. Hopefully it's fine. Needles and shots make me squeamish. I don't like them. I wouldn't have made a good nurse.

Other than that I'm going to Walmart to get bread and acne creams. I got a job interview monday but I don't really want to go to it. It's gonna make me late for work, but whatever. It's fine I think. My client is usually sleeping when I go over there anyways. I might be up to like thirty minutes late. I don't like being late but this was the only way to make the appt happen unless I'd gotten up early. I guess I could've done that. But it's already setup so whatever. I'll just do it. My client's being difficult and refusing to watch my few shows with me. I think I might have to quit seeing him altogether because we don't have anything to do as a result of his refusal to watch my shows with me. Then I'd get a new client and see what happens basically. Mom's been making lots of food lately that's nice. Her food and my food are some of the only ones that don't give me a stomach ache.

I smiled at corn muffins

I accomplished finishing the week

I am grateful for corn, muffins, weekend, 2 days off, 30 hour work week, changing out old client for a new one, adult clients, possibly getting hours counted finally, covid vaccine and walmart

God bless

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Positive: I got two days off

This may be my last two day weekend. I might start working a full day saturday. Yugh. I don't really want to. But the extra money would be nice. I could pay my debt off a little bit faster. I just don't think I want to put myself through that kind of stress though. My boss said 25 hours a week is healthy for a therapist. If I work saturday that'd be 36 hours a week for me. When I was working six days a week before I felt very tired and stressed out all the time. It made me irritable to work that much. Yeah honestly I think I'll just back off of it and keep my workload at 30 a week. But in order to do that I'm going to have to drop one of my clients in favor of getting a new client at work. Which sucks because it means less money. But it will mean getting on my bosses good side and probably getting to count my hours through her so it'll be more money to make this move in the long run. Still it hurts to give up that client. Maybe it'd be worth working Saturdays in order to keep that client going. I could use the money. Gah this decision is so difficult to make. One day a week off is brutal though. I'll see how my Saphris goes and if it goes well I'll try taking on Saturday. If it doesn't go well which is probably won't I'll drop the client and get a new one. Poor client and me. We had such a short run. Darn. They paid me cash too.

I smiled at blueberry vitamin water

I accomplished getting meds

I am grateful for vitamins, water, meds, costco, grass, butterflies, carpet, rugs, yoga mat, drapes, new drapes in my room

God bless

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Positive: Probably getting more hours soon

So more hours loooks like more money and that's a big pro. The con of course is more tired and more stress. But if it gets really bad I can always drop my cash client. But working this much will be really good money and get me in the bosses good graces to get approved for supervision which I desperately need. So I spose it's worth it.

I smiled at oil changing

I accomplished drinking milk

I am grateful for oil changes, milk, curtains, drapes, room darkening stuff, salt zen garden, journals, tags, zippers and the flash.

God bless

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@DaBestThanks man. I'm trying. Working Saturdays , serious work.

Positive: conducting supervisor interviews

Got two more interviews down. three to go. Hope I find someone with chill energy. This one today wasn't terrible but I still felt a little tense around them.

I smiled at water

I accomplished doing interview

I am grateful for water, interview, sups, soups, super heroes, blankets, flea medicine, mom, superman, andrew kreisberg,

God bless

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Positive: Probably gonna stop looking for a job now.

My current job said they'll train me so I can start counting my supervised hours with them. Which is the whole reason I Was looking for a new job anyways. So I'm just gonna stop looking for a new job, try to do the training and get offered supervision hours at my current job. Because I like my clients and don't want to lose them. Mhmm. Well, hopefully I get approved for supervision within a month like my supervisor estimated. Really hoping that goes through. In the meantime I need to interview potential supervisors till I find one I feel comfortable with. Then I'll have a supervisor ready to go when it all gets going. Haven't really found anyone I feel comfortable with so far. Hopfully that happens too.

My client likely has fleas and I'm going to try to buy his dog flea medication today to get them to put it on him. It's some trouble and expense but It's my best option for getting rid of the fleas. Hope they're okay with it.

I smiled at getting rid of fleas

I accomplished working an extra 30 minutes yesterday.

I am grateful for fleas, extra work, extra money, paying off debt, supervisors, work giving me a chance, new meds, bible, remotes, sound bar

God bless

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Positive: I think I got rid of the fleas

Well no bites for two days. I think they might be gone. I washed everything that might have fleas on it in hot water and high heat. So I think that took care of it. Also the owner of the dog put med and flea bombed just in case. So I think we're good. Gonna try sleeping with the thicker blanket tonight. Four people got killed in the Capital hill protest yesterday. So that's not good. I knew someone who went there too and was nearby when it happened probably. Scary stuff. This is why I don't go to protests. Also I just tend not to like being in large crowds and I have a fear of being trampled to death. I'm learning about triple net lease investing from a little book on it. I only need 300,000$ to invest in one of the cheap ones. That'll take me like 10 years to save at my current living rate. So that kind of sucks. I hope I get licensed in due time. They did say I have a chance to get approved now so I'm gonna keep trying to send out requests to interview for a supervisor off psychtoday. That's probably my best chance to find a supervisor, get approved and start supervision. No luck lately with interviews everyone says they aren't a supervisor.

I smiled at flash doll

I accomplished eating bean sprouts even though they tasted bad

I am grateful for flash, doll, bean, sprouts, mole, sun, fence, wheat, plants, outside, inside, warmth, love, good energy

God bless

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Positive: my client didn't cancel

My client called and I was worried they'd cancel but they didn't. So crisis averted. I just really want to earn all the money I can and that means my clients need to show up so I can get paid. I have a little sea salt zen garden my other client gave me. It's kind of nice to rake the little salt to make a pattern. It's messy though as the salt spills over the side and onto the table it's on. Oh well, life's not perfect. So I calculated at the current rate I'm saving money I'd need to work for 10 years to invest in the cheapest triple net I could find on the internet. That's pretty sad. I hope I get licensed within three years and can make more money to get my investment property sooner. Maybe I could buy a house at 200k then save till I have 400k and buy a million dollar triple net. That would be pretty cool. Those net you around 30k annually. That'd be nice to get 30k a year without having to work for it. More money is always nice. I figure you need at least 2 million invested in triple net plus a house to live in to retire. That's like 20-30 years of saving money then. So. I'd be like 60 by the time I could retire off my investments. I guess that's possible. I'm not much closer to getting supervised no call backs and today I'm supposedly getting instruction on how to fix my notes. Hopefully that actually happens I'll keep asking them to help me with it till I'm approved for supervision.

I smiled at rug

I accomplished sleeping

I am grateful for sneeze, atom, rug, sleep, vase, pot, plants, planters, mom, cl, god, love god

God bless

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It is quite impressive how much further into the future you got things planned out. Although it might be less than what you expect as with more experience and once you get licensed you could make more money and thus reduce the overall time for it. But that is not a bad plan to have this kind of investment in mind with retirement. On top of that retiring when you are 60 is not bad, actually a lot sooner than lof of other people do I would say. 

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@RealworlderThanks. I do like to think about what the end goal is for me. I find it very motivating. My dad kind of taught me to do that as he likes to visualize a long term goal and use that to motivate him in the present to keep working. Thinking about my triple net investment goal makes me willing to work long hours now. I'm even open to working on Saturdays and picked up an extra few hours with my cash client to try to make that extra money each month. Retiring at 60 would be five years earlier than average for men in the US. I could live with that. Then I'll buy an Acura. I know it's silly, but I like those cars. I like Honda brand cars. Thanks for posting on my page I really appreciate it and will return the favor in Feb. I read your journal today but I guess I'll respond to it on here? Would it be too much typing if we post on both our pages each day? I'm okay with doing some stretching while I watch tv. It's not the most comfortable thing to do but I've done it before and could do it again. Good job working on your PhD app. Good luck with that. I hope licensure and grad school work out for us both. Keep up the good work with the exercise, I'll try to squat some weight tomorrow.

Positive: It's the weekend.

For however many weeks longer I have Saturday's and Sundays off. It's nice to have all this time to just chill, maybe do some squats and watch a bunch of tv. Go for walks too of course and run errands with mom. But I think I'm going to like working Saturdays. Maybe not in the immediate sense because I'll be more worn out. But in the grander sense I'll be happier knowing that I'm earning more money to put away towards my investment goals. Although for now it's just going to pay back my student loans. That'll be a nice day when my loans are paid off fully. Probably two years from now.

I'm changing my notes and doing more therapy stuff at work in the hopes that my boss will approve me for supervision. I'm not gonna hold my breath. I'm not very hopeful that she'll come around and help me out. She's been a world class jerk to me since day one and actively opposed my supervision. So I think after 5 weeks and an application to get approval from her through my supervisor I'm gonna get denied and have to start looking for a new job. That kind of sucks. I really would like to get approved and stay at my current job. But if the axe falls and I'm denied supervision. I'll have no choice but to get a new job or face never getting my license. It's not a good situation I'm in and it's stressful for sure. But it'll be five weeks before I get my answer and then I'll know if I'm staying or going and be able to apply for jobs then.

I smiled at my journal

I accomplished telling mom I love her

I am grateful for journal, mom, love, god, sweater, Kohl's, hiking, trail near my house, darkening drapes, big tv, fireplace

God bless

Edited by TheNewMe2.0
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Having a clear idea for future is a great way to have something to work for. I realized that when I worked through the self authoring. It is good to use it as a compass to have a direction in which to move. But beware not to burn out too.  No worries mate, whatever works for you. If you want to just reply here that is fine too. But we can post on both. Haha, that sounds good, although based on what is happening it might be hard to get petrol cars in few years but we shall see. Thanks, although I am still waiting for one referee to reply to my email if I can use him in my application, I am hoping to get a reply by Monday because I am cutting it pretty close to the deadline which is 27th of January. Does it depend only on her if you get to do the supervision? But as you said, you got some time to just work and then you will see. Do you best in the meantime and if it comes to that maybe you will be able to find a job with better boss. 

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@RealworlderIt's gonna be a long road but I'm gonna make it and get licensed and get a good job. Yeah I'll have to try to be aware of not burning out that's a good point. I guess we can post on both. Then we can follow what each person's doing and all that. Oh shoot, that deadline is close. I hope you get the referee to reply and help you out by then. Me getting allowed to get licensed at my current job depends solely on my site director/boss and if she gives me the thumbs up or thumbs down after me and my supervisor send her an 'application' to get approved for supervision. I'm prepared to deal with it either way if she approves or denies me I still plan to get licensed either way. Yeah that'd be cool if I ended up with a better boss, I'd like that.

Positive: bombing my room for fleas

It's not something I'm happy is happening. But it's still a positive that I'm taking action to bomb the room and get rid of the fleas. It's a lot of trouble dealing with all this. I've got 3 loads of laundry to do today to try to kill off any fleas that're in the blankets. Getting fleas in the winter is the worst. I just really hope to God that the flea bomb works and they don't come back.

Other than that I had a nice day yesterday going hiking and eating Korean food. Then watching a ton of Death Note. We'll see if I'm able to tolerate the music in the anime. Some shows I've lost due to music intolerance. Still watching it so far though. It's a pretty good show. It really makes me wish I had a death note to use though. Which is kind of bad/guilty pleasure because killing people is against my religion. Thou shalt not kill and all that. Maybe it would be good to memorize the commandments. I did have thoughts of wishing I had the death note to kill my boss with though. But I don't think I'll actually kill her. I'll just do what I always do and rely on God to get vengance for me. He said Vengance is mine. So we can kind of forego vengance because God will punish evil doers who screw us out of getting our license like my boss has. Thanks God.

I smiled at vengance

I accomplished eating yogurt

I am grateful for vengance, yogurt, God, God getting revenge for me, booties, onesies, shoesies, twosies, cheese, and me

God bless

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For sure, well you did plan it out all the way to retirement so that will take time. But it's a great thing to have such a long road planned out. Yeah I agree, that sounds like the best way to do it. I am hoping too, would be great to get a move on with the application, but I still need to do my CV and Cover letter so I need to start working on it. I see the process, well good luck with it. That is true, you just need to wait and you might get the thumbs up this time. 

Do you get fleas in the house usually in winter? That sucks man, I guess that the bomb should work. It is designed for that. How are you liking Death Note so far? The music is a bit different than in other anime but I think it is great, it just fits the whole theme perfectly. Especially L's theme when they are doing all the "mental chess" battles.

The main thing is that it is not worth having rage for other people. Best way is to deal with any problems coolheaded. Building up vengeance and hatred only leads to bitterness and resentment. It is not worth to sully your own soul like that. 

Edited by Realworlder
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@RealworlderYeah retirement is gonna take a long time. I guess it's a good thing. I didn't used to plan ahead much or think about doing something with my future financially so it's a step in the right direction. Good luck to you too with your process. Yeah we'll see I'm still interviewing for jobs so maybe I'll find a good job take the risk and try switching before I get the yay or nay. I only get bugs from clients sometimes so this would be the first fleas in winter for me. I love Death Note. I thought it was giving me a headache to watch. But realized it's because I didnt' close the blinds and the glare was getting to me. It's a good show I'm almost through the exciting conclusion. They really have a good battle with Light and the detectives.

I get what you're saying about holding onto hatred towards others. It does make sense to me that you would not want to hold onto that because it makes your own soul unwell.

Positive: new week to make money yay

I smiled at job intvw

I accomplished saying hi to mom

I am grateful for job interview, mom, money, new week, clients, driving, sitting on couches, dogs with flea med on them , phone and timer.

God bless

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Hey, I love investing. I've always been interested in finance since I was a kid. It was all about numbers and I love math.

You can still invest without hundreds of thousands of dollars. Heck you can even invest in real estate for far less. There are things called REITs (real estate investment trusts) which are traded like stocks but are basically shares in real estate. 

I'd highly recommend you read the following:

The Intelligent Investor, by Benjamin Graham, who was one of Warren Buffett's mentors. This talks about investing in general and gives very sensible advice for newbie investors. It can be a bit dry at times though, but the advice is so solid.

Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. This is more pop-finance than anything, but the mindsets that Kiyosaki talks about are good to incorporate. 

Mr. Money Mustache, by some dude whose name I forgot (it's a blog, it's there somewhere). Not for everyone, but this guy talks about bare-bones living and trying to retire ridiculously early. For those who want that, more power to them, but some of the mindsets of saving, investing, and not spending is just plain good personal finance advice.

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@DaBestThanks for all the resources I'll see if I can get those books on hoopla. I read rich dad poor dad that was enjoyable. REIT's huh? What's the annual return % on those usually and how safe are they? I got the first book you mentioned. I'll checkout money mustache online I guess. It sounds like a good blog. I like the idea of saving to retire early. I just wish I had a bigger income.

Positive: The flea situation is more under control now

I washed and bombed everything. Now I'm just waiting to get repellent and I'll go to my clients and wash my clothes and self after each session while going in covered in repellent. That's the plan. It'll probably work and prevent the spread of the fleas. They applied med to the dog but it's apparent that he still has fleas on him. So, that sucks and all but whatever. I'm doing the best I can with it and I think if it works out I won't have any flea bites to deal with as long as I'm diligent about my washing clothes and self after each session.

I smiled at The Flash Season 7 Feb 23rd new episode yeah

I accomplished washing water bottle

I am grate3ful for flash s7, water, bottle, thermos, thermoflask, flask, phone, phone case, phone magnet, phone mount

God bless

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Death note is truly a masterpiece. I got two coasters with it (black with Death Note in the specific font) from a friend for christmas which was very nice gift. They are pretty basic but I really like them, match with all the other black items in my room haha. I didn't know that, well good luck with the interviews. May something good come out of it. Hopefully I will manage to get the PhD, if not I will need to apply to some more. When my dog had fleas in the past the thing that helped the best was a special shampoo against them. Good to hear that the bomb worked though, must have been really annoying. 

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First off, fleas are freaking nasty. Ughhhhhh. They really need to fix that. That's so gross.

There's no such thing as a guaranteed average return with any stock, REIT, etc. I just did a quick Google search and found several different real estate market indicies with varying annual growth rates. Your return is going to depend a lot on the property held in the fund, and the surrounding market, amongst other factors. You will have to do due diligence in investing in any of those, as with any investment.

It's about as safe as other real estate investments, meaning your safety comes from the understanding of how it works, and whether or not you valued it correctly. My rule of thumb is, before I invest in anything, I have to be really good at explaining how that company makes it's money, and what are the key things that will help or hurt them in the future. And then after that, it has to be a sound investment that should ideally stand out past it's competitors in some way.

You can also diversify your investments across several different stocks/REITs/funds/whatever, which will make it less likely to have one company take out your whole savings should they go bankrupt or something. 

Seriously, do your research before getting into any of these things. Don't be like one of those Robinhooder's that just blindly buy and sell stuff.

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@RealworlderI'm glad you like death note too. I'm just fininshing the last episodes and it's so good. That's awesome you got coasters from it. Maybe I could tell my clients family about the shampoo that might work since the flea medicine doesn't seem to be working. If you keep at it I'm sure you can find a way to get your PhD and me my license. It'll just take a lot of work and currently that's taking the form of interviews. I gotta go send out emails to search for a supervisor again. More interviews to conduct, here we go. Hope you're doing well.

@DaBestYeah I wish they'd kill all fleas and bedbugs wordwide. Where do you buy REITs and how do you tell if one is a good one to buy? I was thinking of just buying some apple stock. Research huh. I don't know much about how to do that but I can try. I read mr mustache yesterday it was kind of interesting. I didn't know you could take out loans for a property with only at 5% down payment. How do they calculate how much money you need to be paying them back on the loan per month and what's the average rate for that? Also what's the cheapest fees you can get on a website to buy and sell stock from?

Positive: I sort of have half a day off today which I'm going to spend hanging out with mom

We're going to go run errands as usual. Get meds, buy bread at dollar store, look at second hand stuff and do something else she needed to do. We que up quite the list of errands and go run them all together. It makes it more bearable to do them together for me. It's not as solitary. I'm actually a little excited to start abilify. It's possible it'll be the lesser of two evils and actually drop my somnolence down to around 10 hours a night while still managing my psychosis. If that actually happens I'd have 3 hours more each day to exist. That would probably make me happier and less stressed. Smiles. I hope that it works. If it doesn't I'm essentially out of options. I'm tired of trying more meds that don't work. I've been through over ten to no avail I think. I'm kind of done trying more and there weren't but one or two left to try anyways. So here we go. Wish me luck.

I smiled at mom getting forgiven interest on property tax

I accomplished saving money

I am grateful for mom, forgiveness, saving, subway, sandwich, pm client, masks, vaccine, laptop not being broken, laptop, keyboard

God bless

Edited by TheNewMe2.0
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I would definitely recommend it as that is something best to deal with as soon as possible. They should not have and spread diseases but it is still quite nasty problem. Thanks, that would be great to see both of us to achieve great things while avoiding gaming. There are still a lot of things that I would like to improve before the application but will see what I manage to achieve before I need to submit it. It always is a lot of effort. But then the easy way is never worth taking. 

Getting extra three hours might not seem much but that is 21 hours in a week which is almost another day so I am hoping that it works for you! I am sure it will make you happier. I understand that it might be frustrating not seeing change with other meds that you have tried but something will. Let's pray that this is the one. 

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In order to own stock of any company or REIT you need to open account with a brokerage, which is a company that buys and sells stocks/bonds/etc. for its clients (please stop me if you know any of this already). There are a bunch out there: Etrade, Scottrade, your bank probably offers a brokerage account too, and one that's particularly popular right now since they don't have any fees (double-check me on this) is Robinhood. Each has different fee structures, so it is important to review how much it costs for use and if there are any minimum requirements. I'm pretty darn sure Robinhood doesn't even have a minimum balance requirement (unless your account holds a negative balance if you decide to do dumb and risky stuff I won't even talk about--then they come to you asking for money). The caveat with Robinhood is that trades don't get executed necessarily at the best market prices--i.e., a share is selling for $50, but since their service can be slow, your order gets filled after the price moves higher, i.e., to $51. It doesn't sound like much but it can add up in the long run, but if you are short on money to fund the account, it might be a good option. 

As far as discerning whether REITs are good or not, I couldn't tell you any tips or tricks. I don't own REITs since I don't really have an interest in real estate and I understand other sectors of the economy much better than real estate. There are probably loads of books and resources online that can help to guide you in the right direction, but remember, there are NO guarantees in the stock market. NONE. 

There are also lots of resources online that let you practice investing and trading for free. It's called paper trading. You buy and sell stocks with fake money, and see how you do. It can be a great way to get started with NO RISK while learning the ropes. In fact, I highly recommend you try that. I kinda forgot about this to be honest.

As far as mortgages go, depending on your agreement with the bank, I think you can even put down lower on a home. The downside is if your down payment is less than 20% you pay additional penalties until you have paid up to 20% of the equity of the property. You can Google it, but there are equations which determine how much your monthly payments would be based on the amount outstanding, the length of the loan, and the interest rate. Mortgage rates depend on your location and credit quality, I wouldn't have any idea what they'd quote you at.

Hope this helps.

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@RealworlderI just texted my clients mom telling her about flea shampoo. Maybe she'll do it and it'll rid the dog of the fleas. It's not a good situation because I have to go into a flea infested home in order to make money and do my job. If I don't go I don't get paid. And I really want to get paid. The abilify seems to be going well so far. I didn't feel stressed, tired or get insomnia from it. So I think I'll be able to continue with it. If it keeps working it's just a matter of time before they reduce my risperdal and I get to see if my sleep reduces. 21 hours a week would be nice. I think I might be less stressed with more time to just chill, hang out at home not doing much. Sounds nice. Maybe I'd even work more as I'd have more time in the day to do work too.

@DaBestThank you for all that useful information. I'll look into paper trading. Sounds like a good way to get started and see if I can mentally handle putting my money into a stock. There's a lot of anxiety that could come up with taking that kind of risk. I'll keep in mind what you said about getting penalties when you pay below 20% on the down payment. I'll make sure to try to get 20% before trying to buy a property. My hope is still to make enough to buy a triple net listing. The cheapest I saw was 700k so that'd be a 140k down payment at 20%. That's quite a bit of money, but it's not impossible to save it'll just take years of saving to do. But in the meantime while I'm trying to get from student debt deficit to 140k I was thinking I could invest the money in a stock to hopefully grow it faster. We'll see if I get manageable anxiety from paper trading and see how it goes. I'd hope to invest 5k in stocks and just leave it in there for like a year or so and see how it goes.

Positive: Abilify is working so far hooray

I may actually be able to sleep less if the abilify is able to take the place of risperdal and cause less somnolence. That would be amazing. After all this time sleeping 13 hours a day it would be a miracle to get to do less sleeping and more living. I don't know what else to say. I'm on a 2mg dose which is super low because the target/average dose for abilify is 15mg. If I'm able to be mentally stable at this dose there's a high probability my somnolence will go down a lot. So we'll see how much abilify I need to take to feel okay while getting rid of the risperdal. God willing it'll workout for the better.

Speaking of which. My job may workout for the better in february. I've got about 4 weeks to go and then they're going to plead my case to the boss and see if she'll have mercy on my soul and approve me for supervision and possibly a raise too. If I get both then that would be a miracle and I'd be super happy and grateful. If it doesn't work I'm seriously out of luck and I'm gonna have to keep looking for a job (which hasn't been going well). But I'll keep trying until I die. No matter how bad the odds are and no matter how bad things get. All I can do it keep trying. To get licensed, to have a healthy relationship with mom etc.

I smiled at work

I accomplished eating home made bread

I am grateful for work, hm bread, dabest, realworlder, stocks, investing, savings, triple net, dollar general, bread,

God bless

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