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Brad_Hurst

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I feel so damn lonely right now. I actually can't deal with it...

I'm struggling with jealousy too, I know it's bad for me but I just can't seem to stop jealousy from occurring...

I'm jealous of my girlfriend actually. She's making all these new friends at University and hanging out with them, going out partying with them and doing stupid shit with them. It seems like she's always doing something and is so busy she rarely has time to message me or call me anymore.

 Meanwhile i'm stuck over 100 miles away at my Dad's, working all bloody day, getting home and hitting the gym, then trying to do writing work, but suffering because I feel so fucking isolated and lonely and then sleep and repeat. And I'm going to be working with him for the next month or so... I really don't know if I can cope. I can't go to any of my classes, unless I join something in Norfolk but it seems pointless since i'll only be here for a month. I'm bloody isolated in the countryside, I get sick of talking to my Dad as I work with him all day, and I don't really enjoy talking to his girlfriend and her kids.

Arghh it really does feel like bloody torture.

I wish I could spend more time with my girlfriend, but whilst I'm working with my Dad that's not possible, and I don't even know if when I go back home i'll be able to see her much since she's at University now.

I've got to get through this period, I need to finish this writing work off and I've got to get to the end.

Once i'm back home i'll be able to join a Triathlon club, I should HOPEFULLY be able to see my girlfriend more and i'll have far more time to work on my web design business.

The same fucking thoughts go through my head though, "Should I go to university?". But I know i'll only be going for the social life... And I know logically I shouldn't do it. But because I feel so god damn lonely at this moment, it feels like the only option to get a decent social life.

I'm HOPING, that joining a sports club will help that... But I want to live with people my age... That's the thing... I want to be AROUND people my age. I want to be independant, and I want to be around people my age, but like-minded too... I look on meetup.com and it seems like everyone is middle-aged... I remember when I went to that improv class, they were all old as fuck.

Urghhhh, why do I have to be so lonely and friendless.... I know for certain, that if I had a good close group of friends who I could hang out with - I don't think the whole university thing would phase me, but it's the fact that I don't that I crave that experience so much... But I know getting into debt and suffering 3 years of study for something that I will not use, it's pointless. BUT THEN IS IT BECAUSE IT MIGHT JUST SOLVE MY SOCIAL LIFE??!? That's ultimately depressing the fuck outta me.

Maybe this is the sole reason why I wanted to travel so badly? Would I get a similar experience? I don't bloody know, part of me thinks travelling solo will be a lonely experience too....

I'll be honest, I think I need to sleep. I'm tired and frustrated.

I just need to get through this next month, and stop getting so god damn jealous of my girlfriend... urgh fuck sake how do I make it stop...

 

 

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41 minutes ago, Brad_Hurst said:

BUT THEN IS IT BECAUSE IT MIGHT JUST SOLVE MY SOCIAL LIFE??!? That's ultimately depressing the fuck outta me.

 

Going to uni just for social is DEFINITELY a bad idea. Can you think of other ways to add some social life?

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I feel better this morning. Amazing what sleep can do 🙂

7 hours ago, JustTom said:

Going to uni just for social is DEFINITELY a bad idea. Can you think of other ways to add some social life?

Yeah I know it is... Haha. Yeah well once I'm finished working with my Dad in a month or so, i'm going to join either/or a track cycling club and a triathlon club. Whilst I wait for that period I'm just training by myself. Apparently they do park runs on Saturday mornings so I will attend those too, although I'm going to be working this Saturday 😞

I can visit my Sister and my Girlfriend at their Universities and make friends with their flatmates. I can start working in Co-Working spaces or coffee shops and be around similar people. I should probably try and find an entrepreneur meetup thing aswell. And i'm sure attending a seminar or something like that i'd meet likeminded people.

Ultimately I definitely think a backpacking trip, staying in hostels and stuff would be a great way for me to live a bit of that 'party lifestyle'. There are definitely ways out there...

Last night I was just tired from work and the gym, with writing deadlines looming. And I guess it triggered jealousy when I spoke to my girlfriend and she was talking about how her and her flatmates have just ordered Chinese, and how she had an awesome nightout the night previous. I try my best to stay cool and happy for her, but I know secretly inside I'm wishing I was experiencing that shit too!

Anyways, this morning I feel better. I lost me head last night.

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Well there you go 😁 This is a good place to vent. I vent here all the time, I even deleted 2 posts the next day. But you know, as master Obi-Wan says, patience, padawan. 

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7 hours ago, JustTom said:

Well there you go 😁 This is a good place to vent. I vent here all the time, I even deleted 2 posts the next day. But you know, as master Obi-Wan says, patience, padawan. 

Haha yeah it is bro. I always resort to posting on the forum when I need to vent - Except I don't delete my posts because one day when I look back, I can see all the struggles I went through to get to where I am on that day. I just hope this forum stays online forever so I can look back at it when i'm older! 😄

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Boy i'm feeling GOOOOOOD today! 😄

Things are really starting to take shape in my life!

Today I ran my second ever 5k park run, my first was last weekend. Last week I ran it in 21 minutes 7 seconds and I told myself immediately after the run, next week i'm running a sub 20 minute run. I had this set in my head all week. This morning, I woke up and visualised myself completing it, I saw my result, a couple of seconds before the 20 minute mark... I worked out how fast I had to run each lap around the park, I made sure I was near the start of the race, I warmed up as best I could despite the freakin freezing weather!

AND BOOOM BABY WE DID IT!

19 minutes, 58 seconds!

That's 1 minute and 9 seconds off of my previous time!

I actually feel amazing, and I proved to myself the power of the mind when you set intentions.

----------------------------

For the past 2 weeks, I've been completing and sticking to the Miracle Morning. I've been waking up around 5AM, sometimes 6AM... Every single day and completing the 6 life savers. Every day I wake up, drink water, brush my teeth then immediately do 10 minutes of meditation, followed by affirmations, then visualisation, then I read for 10-15 minutes, I then write in a private online journal followed by some form of exercise. I've started doing yoga most mornings, or hitting the gym, or like today, going for a run.

I've also started drinking healthy smoothies for breakfast, and holy shit what a difference it makes to my mind and my body! 😄

I use the Miracle Morning Recipe, which is Bananas, blueberries, kale, spinach, almond milk.

I feel so goooooodddd. Been doing so much exercise lately, my body is looking better than ever, aswell as my skin.

The book i'm currently reading is 'Think and Grow Rich' by Napoleon HIll - I've heard so many great things about this book, but never took the time to actually read it. So i'm using my Miracle Morning to get through it. And I mean... I applied the first chapter of the book today and seen success!

----------------------------

I took a week off working with my Dad this week too, and focused my whole attention on creating the website that I've been talking about for the longest time. It was 10x harder than I expected and took far longer than I would have liked and I'm still working on it now. But it's coming together nicely, it's looking good and I've certainly learnt quite alot over the past week.

A big motivating factor along with this, is I have an amazing opportunity to do a project with a very rich business man (I'm pretty sure his assets are over 1 million). The guy who i've been doing the labouring work for, with my Dad has taken an interest in my web design journey, and would like to work together with me on creating something for his business.

He's also hinted towards being a mentor for me, and sent me a bunch of questions about my future ambitions, and where I want to be in 5 years time.

Next week when I'm back in Norfolk, we're going to go for coffee at some point and go over everything! MAYNN I'm so excited, this is the BIGGEST opportunity i've had in a long time, and I'm going to go at it with everything!

-----------------------------

I'm in a great place with my girlfriend too! Although the only thing is, I'm rarely getting to see her at the moment cause of University and stuff, which is a bummer... But I feel like our actual relationship is great, my mind is certainly in a better place now. 

I've booked a hotel for the night next weekend, and we're going to go to a winter wonderland event, where we can walk around the christmas markets, i've booked ice skating and then we're gonna go to an ice bar too. It's gonna be such a cute and fun weekend, and really give us the chance to reconnect and have an amazing time together! I can't wait!

I do wish I could see her more often, as I won't have seen her for 2 weeks up to that weekend... But hey ho, I've just gotta make the most of the time we do have together, plus it gives me the chance to really focus on my own shit and bring the independence back into my life. I realise I got into a place where a large piece of my happiness was dependant on her, which was no healthy for me. So i'm looking at this time apart as a huge growing opportunity for me, despite obviously really wanting to see her too haha.

Life feels fucking good.

- Brad

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Sounds like you are doing awesome Brad, I like the sound of this Miracle Morning I will have to look into it. Its really good you have a mentor as well they can really help you play to your strengths and understand your weaknesses.

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On 11/11/2018 at 8:01 PM, Peregrinator said:

Sounds like you are doing awesome Brad, I like the sound of this Miracle Morning I will have to look into it. Its really good you have a mentor as well they can really help you play to your strengths and understand your weaknesses.

Yes definetely check it out! It's a book by Hal Elrod

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