The Warrior's Infinite Opus

[Schwing 342]

Noice

Noicer

Date: Mon 21/11/2016

Journal day: 10

Detox day: 16

Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 0

1. 100 pushups a day
2. Get up at 6:30 every day apart from sundays
3. You cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that day
4. You matter the most.
5. Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.
6. Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!
7. 5 German words a day
8. Eat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite 

Woke up at:

07:30 LATE

Went to bed at:

22:30

Thoughts and Feelings:

• My alarm didn't go off :(. Couldn't get myself out of bed.
• Was very depressed in morning. I should always get up early.
• Talked to quite a few girls.
• I don't care about people being negative towards me.
• Talked to my danish friend again. He is being fucked over by his slutty girlfriend.
• I didn't do the 1 hour i allotted to my project paperwork. I was daydreaming and goofing off through most of it. Sometimes I find it hard to focus.
• Tried making myself look happier. Nobody noticed but it feels good.
• Didn't nail that lesson but I had the whole of my group backing me up and we failed together which was ok. We had a good laugh at the end.

Tasks and Achievements:

• 100 pushups.
• 5 german words. 10 new words since yesterday.
• Stuck to plan for project
• Finished maths homework
• Practised hand speed for drumming
• I've been eating a lot more recently
• Coding
• Ran 4 miles

What I am grateful for:

• Fucking metal
• My mighty Scandinavian brother

What I have learnt from today:

• I can take responsibility in a situation but I lack charisma
• Sense of purpose is crucial
• Don't be an egoistic prick. You know what it does. Use your ego for positive things rather than picking at others.
• My friends are all fake. I share nothing in common with any of them now I quit games.

About tomorrow:

• Get up early
• Do what you need to do according to your plan for project
• Stay consistent with your goals
• Talk to some more girls
• SMILE YOU FUCK!
• Go all out in climbing. don't be disheartened if everyone is better than you. Try and join in more regardless.

Notes:

[Schwing 342]

How do I find true friends? The "friends" I have now are just people I hang out with. We don't look out for each other and we don't share any passions.

[Cam Adair 5091]

How do I find true friends? The "friends" I have now are just people I hang out with. We don't look out for each other and we don't share any passions.

Define what a true friend means to you:

[WorkInProgress 1804]

How do I find true friends? The "friends" I have now are just people I hang out with. We don't look out for each other and we don't share any passions.

To do this you need to meet someone you like / find pleasant o be with first. Possible ideas for this: Go on a cocnert and talk to People (they liek tehs ame Music!), go to meet-ups, go to s a sportsgroup with people your age.

If you found someone you like:

Show real interst in his/her matters. Not jsut fake interest but being really  interested about their matteers for a longer period. Also bevulnerable towards people who seem reliable. Hare you fears and crazyness with them part for part even if it's hard. If you open up and they open up ,you have a great chacne that oyu got  a new good friend.

[Mad Pharmacist 1198]

Seriously, why do you want to "wank"?

Do you think it's ok?

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

I think it is fine. The only reason I jerk it is because I'm bored. It's a great way to release sexual tension especially considering I don't have a girl.

Ok, then if it's fine I'll ask you the most simple question:

How will you feel if you'll have a sexual partner and she'll need to masturbate even if she have had sex with you? Will it still be "fine" for you?

Think about it.

How do I find true friends? The "friends" I have now are just people I hang out with. We don't look out for each other and we don't share any passions.

The best way to find true friends is to become a leader and initiator of hanging out.

Most people don't know where to go with the group of friends. You should know and you can invite anyone of them.

That's the reason why you have their phone number - you can call whoever you want and hang out outside. I bet you anyone who will be invited will feel great because he or she doesn't need to do it instead of you.

And also if you invite those people couple of times, then you can be invite by them aswell! It's natural thing, and this way you're making even not a single friend, but a GROUP of friends!

Work for me, but tell me if you got my point and if it works for you.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

[Schwing 342]

Didn't make a journal entry yesterday because I came back with a headache and went to bed early.

[Mad Pharmacist 1198]

Can't wait to hear your answer to my advice!

[Schwing 342]

 

Do you think it's ok?

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

I think it is fine. The only reason I jerk it is because I'm bored. It's a great way to release sexual tension especially considering I don't have a girl.

Ok, then if it's fine I'll ask you the most simple question:

How will you feel if you'll have a sexual partner and she'll need to masturbate even if she have had sex with you? Will it still be "fine" for you?

Think about it.

 I wouldn't care in the slightest unless it negatively affected our relationship.

[Mad Pharmacist 1198]

 

Do you think it's ok?

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

I think it is fine. The only reason I jerk it is because I'm bored. It's a great way to release sexual tension especially considering I don't have a girl.

Ok, then if it's fine I'll ask you the most simple question:

How will you feel if you'll have a sexual partner and she'll need to masturbate even if she have had sex with you? Will it still be "fine" for you?

Think about it.

 I wouldn't care in the slightest unless it negatively affected our relationship.

Thanks for answer.

This way I know that you shouldn't stop masturbating, because you don't have any reason for that.

It's your comfort zone and it didn't bring you to the bottom so far, so you should do it as much as you want. That's how I understand your attitude on this topic.

 

I have different opinion on it than you, but I respect your attitude

[Schwing 342]

So I got up to a lot yesterday. I did some running then I went climbing. I'm really improving at climbing. And then when I got back I did singing.

[Schwing 342]

Date: Wed 23/11/2016

Journal day: 12

Detox day: 18

Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 2

1. 100 pushups a day
2. Get up at 6:30 every day apart from sundays
3. You cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that day
4. You matter the most.
5. Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.
6. Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!
7. 5 German words a day
8. Eat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite 

Woke up at:

07:30 bad night's sleep

Went to bed at:

22:30

Thoughts and Feelings:

• I wasn't depressed even though I got up late
• I like talking to other people in a friendly way but not all the time.
• One of my "friends" has started acting all hard. He's getting on my nerves. He's useless to me anyway.
• I like being alone a lot
• I just want to do my own thing
• I didn't do the 1 hour i allotted to my project paperwork again because i was extremely depressed
• Snapped out of it later on
• Tried making myself look happier and failed

Tasks and Achievements:

• 50 pushups.
• Ate loads
• Coding
• Running

What I am grateful for:

• Metal

What I have learnt from today:

• My self esteem is too low to make proper friends. It's my problem.
• I don't see myself getting a girlfriend at all for a very long time
• I am a loner and that doesn't matter. Or does it?

About tomorrow:

• Get up early
• Do what you need to do according to your plan for project- big day
• Stay consistent with your goals
• Talk to some more girls
• SMILE YOU FUCK!

Notes:

Edited November 23, 2016 by Schwing

[Cam Adair 5091]

Good job with your push-ups. Stick with that, it will help your confidence.

[Schwing 342]

Good job with your push-ups. Stick with that, it will help your confidence.

It's great because I don't have much time to get out and do something physically demanding every day.

[Schwing 342]

Thank you everyone for giving a shit as per usual. I can't stress how much this support means to me.

[Mad Pharmacist 1198]

 

What I am grateful for:

• Metal

Well, I'm grateful for them too:

[WorkInProgress 1804]

Both metal sorts are great

[Simon E 321]

I really like your goals. Challenging but still very much attainable. Also, metal is life. 

[Schwing 342]

Hahahaha yes metal is life.

[Schwing 342]

Date: Thur 24/11/2016

Journal day: 12

Detox day: 18

Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 2

1. 100 pushups a day
2. Get up at 6:30 every day apart from sundays
3. You cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that day
4. You matter the most.
5. Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.
6. Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!
7. 5 German words a day
8. Eat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite 
9. Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing less

Woke up at:

07:30 bad night's sleep

Went to bed at:

23:00

Thoughts and Feelings:

• Woke up and did some singing and drumming
• I wasn't really depressed at school. I was chatty but just very laid back and reclusive. I am very comfortable this way
• Skipped lunch because I had to do homework  very hungry
• Stayed back at school till 6 to do project work
• I talked to some girls but they didn't talk back
• Ate loads when I got home
• Got depressed and self hatey when I got back. Fixed it with some screamo. Clears my mind.

Tasks and Achievements:

• Singing
• Drumming
• 5 German words- I want to travel over europe. I guess brexit isn't so convenient for me! I just hope germany isn't full of bloody refugees when I get there.
• 100 pushups.
• Ate loads
• Coding- finished that shit finally
• Lots of project work- i am designing a drum pedal and making a jeweller's vice.

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• Screamo

What I have learnt from today:

• I need to keep on top of my studying at home- i should make a diary or a notice board
• Not having proper work ethic in mind when entering a task like studying is a main cause of my depression
• There are some local courses in climbing I can sign up for. Would be a great opportunity.
• Started being negative in the same way this kid is being to be as an experiment and he started backing down. Hahahaha. People are fucking retards sometimes.

About tomorrow:

• Get up early
• Do what you need to do according to your plan for project
• Stay consistent with your goals
• Talk to some more girls
• SMILE YOU FUCK!
• I need to keep on top of paperwork- 1 hour a weekday- 2 hours weekend days

Notes:

Edited November 24, 2016 by Schwing

[Robin 124]

Dope journal!

Haha I like the ''last wanked'' I actually do a No Fap for myself too.

I'm on day 5 now and it really helped me in the best as well. I once quitted for 3 months and I really felt like my willpower was on top of the world. I not only could say no to fapping but also to the unhealthy food choices and bad habits. 
It also made me more motivated on becoming a better person which would attract awesome girls. I'm not sure if I should post it here but fuck it anyway haha. This made me actually dating a lot of new girls. I really tried to get out of my comfort zone and say fuck it. In the end it payed off tho. I met a 18year old girl which was a model and she was amazing. I had a good time with here until she moved from places but this really gave me confidence and say it payed off in the end. 

I came to realize that we should not focus on the reward but rather on ourselves. If we try to become the best version of ourselves we will attract greater things for in the future.

Anyway keep going and don't let those girls get you down

I dated a ton of girls before I met the right one and I'm sure you'll find the 'right' one as well if you just keep working on yourself and don't give up!

[WorkInProgress 1804]

Don't worry. Most of These bloody refuges are pretty nomral people if you get to kno them Still waiting to have a bad experience with one of them here in Germany. There is much panic and in reality not so many problems.

Gj on getting your coding done!

[Schwing 342]

+Robin You are a fucking legend thanks a bunch mate.

[Schwing 342]

 Still waiting to have a bad experience with one of them here in Germany.

I'll see for myself then. I have heard a lot of bad things but nothing beats first hand experience.

[Schwing 342]

Date: Fri 26/11/2016

Journal day: 14

Detox day: 20

Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 1

1. 100 pushups a day
2. Get up at 6:30 every day apart from sundays
3. You cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that day
4. You matter the most.
5. Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.
6. Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!
7. 5 German words a day
8. Eat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite 
9. Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing less

Woke up at:

07:30

Went to bed at:

00:50

Thoughts and Feelings:

• Got up late
• Forgot german words
• Maybe I should start working out
• So this one kid said people think I'm gay at school? He was probably taking the piss but I am pretty feminine in a lot of ways. Hahahaha I couldn't even imagine being gay. Who even cares anyway.
• I was depressed before i went to work. Went down at last minute. Came out EXTREMELY satisfied as always.

Tasks and Achievements:

• 100 pushups.
• Ate loads. I eat the leftovers off the plates at work a lot.
• I got my project to work finally. I'm on the home straight now.
• Went to work

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• Food

What I have learnt from today:

• I realise if you put effort and positivity into your life you will get something out always
• I should focus on the task rather than the reward. I shouldn't beat myself up over being a loser and not good enough for girls. Girls aren't my biggest problem right now. Being a loser is my problem and if I work on it I will get something out of it (maybe girls). Keep your head in the game.

About tomorrow:

• Get up early
• Get homework done
• Stay consistent with your goals

Notes:

Edited November 26, 2016 by Schwing

[Schwing 342]

I was too tired to do journal yesterday so here's a few things:

Got up really late at 12. I just couldn't get my arse out of bed. Did my 100 pushups and some homework but I goofed off for most of it. Talked to my friend again it sucks we only know each other over the internet because he is the only true friend I have. Forgot german words again. Ate a lot of food.