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AlexTheGrape

My Journal - Alex

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"Get some inspirational quotes up on my wall".  I am trying to reduce my negativity and be more a glass half full type.  One of the things I do is a daily quote app.  The ones I like, I can save and you could use those to post on your board.

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"Get some inspirational quotes up on my wall".  I am trying to reduce my negativity and be more a glass half full type.  One of the things I do is a daily quote app.  The ones I like, I can save and you could use those to post on your board.

Check out Intently. They have asked me to create a Game Quitters board so that could be a cool idea at some point. Let me know if you're interested!

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"Get some inspirational quotes up on my wall".  I am trying to reduce my negativity and be more a glass half full type.  One of the things I do is a daily quote app.  The ones I like, I can save and you could use those to post on your board.

Check out Intently. They have asked me to create a Game Quitters board so that could be a cool idea at some point. Let me know if you're interested!

Cam I use AdBlock right now but that sounds pretty cool! Do the websites still get ad revenue if Intently is used?

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"Get some inspirational quotes up on my wall".  I am trying to reduce my negativity and be more a glass half full type.  One of the things I do is a daily quote app.  The ones I like, I can save and you could use those to post on your board.

Check out Intently. They have asked me to create a Game Quitters board so that could be a cool idea at some point. Let me know if you're interested!

Cam I use AdBlock right now but that sounds pretty cool! Do the websites still get ad revenue if Intently is used?

I also use AdBlock. I'm not certain about your question. That may be on their website in an FAQ.

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Today I've been sluggish, and it's not surprising why. I didn't stick to my night-time schedule and wasted time on the internet before going to bed, and as a result I didn't get the sleep I need so much. I have fallen short with my morning routine again, I think my week without self-development has made it harder to get back into the rhythm of exercising daily and meditating etc. I'm going to be very busy the next few days, so I'll likely have short posts here.

I realise I missed writing a journal post yesterday, which I'm not proud of. I can brand any excuse I like but the reality is that I just didn't make enough time for it.

Gratitude journal

I am grateful for the ease of living that I have which comes with being in a developed country.

I am grateful for there being minimal firearms in NZ.

I am grateful for my loving family.

One amazing thing that happened today:

I went for a run once I came home from school, but what was surprising was that I found it enjoyable to do the exercise despite the poor weather and general muddiness.

What I could have done to make my day better:

I could have gotten more sleep, again. I will make sure to set this to rights tonight!

Workout/run

I had an afternoon run, but I think it would be ideal to do such exercise as part of my morning schedule instead.

Meditation

Interrupted, but attempted.

Visualisation

Nope.

Sufficient sleep

Nope.

No procrastination

I had a lot of trouble with procrastination today, but I have the feeling that I'm just having trouble with studying because I know that in a few days I won't have to do much at all (it'll be holidays).

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Hey Alex, that's great to hear that your brother has recognized playing video games might be a problem for him and that he's decided he'd like to change. I wanted to be a video game developer as well before I decided I need to quit playing and I gave up on that because I do not want to contribute to the industry that has caused me these problems. I don't know if it'll work with your brother but you could try that angle with him. Otherwise, I don't know.

I actually read in Changing For Good today that consciousness raising is an effective method for helping people get out of the precontemplation stage of change. The precontemplation stage is the stage where people don't necessarily see their issue as a problem and don't really want to change. It seems like your brother might be on the cusp of transitioning from precontemplation to contemplation. What I might do if I were you is give him some material to read or listen to talking about the pitfalls of both video game addiction as well as the video game industry. Getting more information on the subject might be enough to inspire him to take the next step.

Also realize that if he wants to be a game developer and doesn't really have plans to do anything else with his life, that will be a significant blow to him. He has likely spent a considerable amount of time working towards that goal and if it's all just taken away from him, that might not actually be a positive thing. He needs to come to that decision himself. So that's why I think just presenting some information to him and letting him absorb it at his own pace might be best. Additionally, you could spend some quality time with him away from the house just to change things up. That may help him see the value of things outside of video games as well.

Hope this helps!

Hi Jay, thanks for your help, it was very specific and I'm sure it will be useful. You're right in your assumptions, but an major issue is that he won't use the resources I have given him and has a willful ignorance of how gaming affects him until it makes large, negative impacts on other areas of his life. I think at the moment, your suggestion on raising awareness will be the best.

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Hey Alex, that's great to hear that your brother has recognized playing video games might be a problem for him and that he's decided he'd like to change. I wanted to be a video game developer as well before I decided I need to quit playing and I gave up on that because I do not want to contribute to the industry that has caused me these problems. I don't know if it'll work with your brother but you could try that angle with him. Otherwise, I don't know.

I actually read in Changing For Good today that consciousness raising is an effective method for helping people get out of the precontemplation stage of change. The precontemplation stage is the stage where people don't necessarily see their issue as a problem and don't really want to change. It seems like your brother might be on the cusp of transitioning from precontemplation to contemplation. What I might do if I were you is give him some material to read or listen to talking about the pitfalls of both video game addiction as well as the video game industry. Getting more information on the subject might be enough to inspire him to take the next step.

Also realize that if he wants to be a game developer and doesn't really have plans to do anything else with his life, that will be a significant blow to him. He has likely spent a considerable amount of time working towards that goal and if it's all just taken away from him, that might not actually be a positive thing. He needs to come to that decision himself. So that's why I think just presenting some information to him and letting him absorb it at his own pace might be best. Additionally, you could spend some quality time with him away from the house just to change things up. That may help him see the value of things outside of video games as well.

Hope this helps!

Hi Jay, thanks for your help, it was very specific and I'm sure it will be useful. You're right in your assumptions, but an major issue is that he won't use the resources I have given him and has a willful ignorance of how gaming affects him until it makes large, negative impacts on other areas of his life. I think at the moment, your suggestion on raising awareness will be the best.

OK, so based on my reading of Changing For Good, it sounds like he's deeply in the precontemplation stage despite becoming more aware that his behaviour might be causing significantly negative impacts on his life. I think this is more or less where I'm at as well - knowing that moving on from gaming is probably the best thing but gaming anyway. Maybe try a few of these things:

- give him some material to work through but also make sure to leave yourself open to any and all questions he may have - and make sure he knows that you're open to any questions.. knowing that you'll be there to help him along might be enough to encourage him to read some of the material

- invite him to read your journal, he might find some inspiration there to quit video games completely

- maybe ask if Cam would be interested in talking to him directly? Maybe having someone who can be seen as an authority figure in this subject would help

- ask him questions about why he's having trouble moving on and pay very close attention to what he's saying. Not that he would be intentionally deceptive, but what he says and what he really means may not be the same thing

- above all, do not try to force him to do anything. That will inevitably lead to failure. He has to make these decisions on his own, and be there for him at every stage

Hope this helps!

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My post for yesterday:

My holidays are finally here! I've had a very busy week with finishing off assessment work, but now that's all handed in, I can relax and rest these holidays. I am not decided on what exactly I'd like to do these holidays, but I know I want to do more than my last holidays where I mainly just relaxed. Today has been a good end to the school term, and I got out on a sort of adventure after I got home. I went on a long run/walk with the dog, where we played fetch in a park and on a beach for what must have been half an hour! It was a wonderful experience to just enjoy spending time with the dog without any pressure or worry about school work or obligations, and I hope to get out and do more of that these holidays.

I think I'll start my morning success routine again, I really have no excuse since I have so much time on my hands now. 

Tomorrow I'll mainly be replying to my penpals I've left hanging for a long while, and after that I'll be getting into a plan of what I'm going to be doing each day. I might even have time to complete the 30 day challenge before I get back into studying!

OK, so based on my reading of Changing For Good, it sounds like he's deeply in the precontemplation stage despite becoming more aware that his behaviour might be causing significantly negative impacts on his life. I think this is more or less where I'm at as well - knowing that moving on from gaming is probably the best thing but gaming anyway. Maybe try a few of these things:

- give him some material to work through but also make sure to leave yourself open to any and all questions he may have - and make sure he knows that you're open to any questions.. knowing that you'll be there to help him along might be enough to encourage him to read some of the material

- invite him to read your journal, he might find some inspiration there to quit video games completely

- maybe ask if Cam would be interested in talking to him directly? Maybe having someone who can be seen as an authority figure in this subject would help

- ask him questions about why he's having trouble moving on and pay very close attention to what he's saying. Not that he would be intentionally deceptive, but what he says and what he really means may not be the same thing

- above all, do not try to force him to do anything. That will inevitably lead to failure. He has to make these decisions on his own, and be there for him at every stage

Hope this helps!

Thanks Jay! I've taken your advice onboard and I've let my brother know that I'm taking on a supportive role to provide resources and emotional/practical support, and won't push him to make any decision (so that he makes them by himself). He definitely knows the negative implications of gaming outweigh the positive and wants to minimize/stop his gaming, but you're right that he needs to make gaming related decisions by himself.

Thanks Cam, but my brother actually wants to stop gaming, and he's come to me multiple times asking for help and to keep him accountable for not gaming.

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Today should hopefully be a big turning point in my self-development life. The past few weeks I've been dropping my commitments (thanks to my accountability partner pointing it out) and there are undoubtedly several factors involved. I think the most important one is that I have less pressure to excel right now, and so I need to put myself in a position where I can push myself according to my goals. My talk today with my accountability partner was long and went really well, I don't have much to say about it other than its kicked me in gear to step back onto the road to success.

My morning success routine was done slowly today, but I got it done fully, which was the main thing. It consisted of a 30 minute run instead of a short one, so I'm glad I did that. I tried a cold shower again, but I didn't feel energised this time around. I want to stick to warm showers, but I think that if I want to seriously improve my self-development standing, I'll need to envelop an attitude that supports getting into uncomfortable situations for the greater good.

I had a dinner meetup with a bunch of school friends today, and it was really good to test my social skills. I forged better friendships with people I was only acquainted with previously, and I think I did very well overall to keep cheerful and make the most of the opportunity to enjoy myself and put my new people-skills information to the test.

Gratitude journal

I'm grateful for being able to catch up with my school mates today.

I am grateful for loving parents

I am grateful for being able to drive myself around.

One amazing thing that happened today:

I really enjoyed listening to one of Tim Ferris's podcasts whilst driving today, it was great to hear another interview with Derek Silvers (who I relate to quite well). Before today I hadn't listened to a full podcast for at least a week, but getting back into it today was both interesting and beneficial.

What I could have done to make my day better:

I could have gotten up as soon as I woke up. Instead I procrastinated and ended up dozing and wasting time on my phone, which wasn't productive at all.

Workout/run

Yup!

Meditation

Yup yup

Visualisation

It was pretty brief today, I need to make a decent effort tomorrow.

Sufficient sleep

Yes

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How long were you gaming for dude, before you stopped 

Hey thanks for checking out my journal! I was 5 when I started gaming, and 17 when I quit, so that'd make it 12 years before I stopped. Does this relate to your own story?

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How long were you gaming for dude, before you stopped 

Hey thanks for checking out my journal! I was 5 when I started gaming, and 17 when I quit, so that'd make it 12 years before I stopped. Does this relate to your own story?

12 years and you finally have stopped. Congrats dude!!! impressive. No lucky enough I got out of gaming smoothly a couple of years ago but it relates to me more than you may think. The detox side of things I'm use to watching tv and mindless surfing on the internet to escape from life which is what i use to do when playing games. 

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Today was a good day in general, I had a massive cleanup/rearrangement of my room and I now have more storage space since I've chucked some junk out. I had a long discussion with my brother today after him reading the article 'How to quit playing video games forever' and some of Respawn, but it seems that he's not in a stable position to make a long-term decision as he keeps changing his plan on what he's going to do these holidays. Initially he wanted to quit altogether, next it was just not for the holidays, afterwards it was just until he got his work done, and predictably he quickly shortened the time needed to play video games further. It's now only three days into the holidays and he's playing video games right now. I suppose if things don't work out then he'll just have to learn the hard way, without any intervention but with gentle support.

I've met my 'obligations' for my tasks I'm being kept accountable for (in the list below), and I've got a decent list of inspirational quotes now. I just need to print them out tomorrow. I've also listed a bunch of things I'll need to get done within the next few days, so I'll be keeping busy for certain.

I cooked dinner tonight (with some help) which I struggled to get started with the past few weeks. I can't say I enjoyed it, but I certainly didn't find it a chore, which I previously felt towards cooking, so that's an improvement. I think I'll make myself a decent lunch tomorrow too.

I've added some more things to my long list of habits, as they are what I'm being held accountable for this week.

My day has gone surprisingly fast, but it isn't that surprising at all because I got up so late. In a couple of days I hope to have resolved this by getting my sleep pattern in order.

Gratitude journal

I am grateful for easy disposal of rubbish and recycling.

I am grateful for my clean and tidy room.

I am grateful for Trello to list all my tasks.

One amazing thing that happened today:

Listening to music whilst cleaning my room made it quite enjoyable! It is a wonderful attitude to maintain through these holidays to remain productive whilst enjoying myself.

What I could have done to make my day better:

I could have had some alarms on my phone to remind me to get to bed before 9pm, because I completely forgot! I also could have gotten up to meditate immediately upon waking up; I started looking at my snapchat and then procrastination took hold. Tomorrow I'll make sure to only use my phone for social media whilst I'm eating my breakfast.

Workout/run

Yup!

Meditation

Yup yup

Visualisation

It was pretty brief today, I need to make a decent effort tomorrow.

Sufficient sleep, in bed by 9pm

Yes

Reading & note taking for 20+ mins

Nope

Read 3 cooking recipes

Yep!

Read one 'banked' email

Yup

Watch one motivational run/workout video

Sure did.

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12 years and you finally have stopped. Congrats dude!!! impressive. No lucky enough I got out of gaming smoothly a couple of years ago but it relates to me more than you may think. The detox side of things I'm use to watching tv and mindless surfing on the internet to escape from life which is what i use to do when playing games. 

Thanks man! I'm glad you can relate to my story, hopefully my journal will be of some use to you. There's certainly a lot to read! Do you still do much internet surfing or is that under control?

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Im sure it will Alex, so far reading over you posts i can relate to a lot. And yes thanks it is this month I'm detoxing from my smartphone and only using my mac spending time being productive working on my youtube or on the Game Quitters forum. 

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My post for yesterday:

Today has been a good day in terms of keeping active on a holiday, and I knocked off some more one-off activities I wanted to get done. Plenty more to go though!

I didn't get round to creating a time schedule like I wanted to: I just went straight into doing the activities on my trello board. Although this is good in the short term, I slacked off quickly as I didn't have a designated plan for what I was doing.

I caught up with many journals here, and it has been great to provide support for the new members.

Gratitude journal

I am grateful for the clean room I have made for myself

I am grateful for being able to play Risk with my dad in the evening

I am grateful for having the week off

One amazing thing that happened today:

Playing Risk with my dad in the evening was a great engaging activity that we both enjoyed. I'm also glad that I lost, it's good to be challenged.

What I could have done to make my day better:

I could have made sure to plan out my day, just better organisation in general.

Workout/run

I did both actually! A full blown workout sesh and a 30 minute run.

Meditation

Yup.

Visualisation

Yep. I've been trying the Calm app instead of Headspace, but I don't really know if 

Sufficient sleep, in bed by 9pm

I didn't get in bed by 9, but I did get sufficient sleep.

Reading & note taking for 20+ mins

Nope, I'm going to need to work on that one.

Read 3 cooking recipes

Done.

Read one 'banked' email

Yup

Watch one motivational run/workout video

Yep.

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Today I got on with replying to my penpals I haven't spoken to for a month or so, but to be honest I didn't find it as enjoyable as I used to, but that could be because it seems like a workload at the moment. I also tried on the next stage of fitness on my Forcefit app, which requires me to run 2.4 kilometres in 11 minutes. I managed to do that in 13 whilst running the dog, but I might need to do it just by myself tomorrow to not have to slow down and let myself go all out. Although I had a rough plan on what I wanted to do today to start off with, it wasn't ambitious at all and it let me relax in the afternoon. Although most people would consider it normal and expected to relax on a holiday, I want to use this time to develop myself, especially my social skills, as I haven't been putting myself 'out there' very much and as a result have been encompassing my old introverted habits.

I'm way past my 9pm ideal bed time so I'll need to wrap up now. Hopefully I'll have something interesting to talk about tomorrow!

Workout/run

Yes.

Meditation

Yes.

Visualisation

Yup.

Sufficient sleep, in bed by 9pm

Nope. I've got more alarms to remind me to go to bed now. If that doesn't work I'll need to add some sort of negative reinforcement.

Reading & note taking for 20+ mins

Yes, without note-taking though.

Read 3 cooking recipes

No. The 6 recipes I have read so far (for this task) haven't sunk in or anything, but I need to keep positive about this as the purpose is to get me aware of the different sorts of meals I can make.

Read one 'banked' email

Yup, but it wasn't very helpful today.

Watch one motivational run/workout video

Yep.

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If you feel like writing your penpals is a burden to you, maybe it is time to say goodbye to this activity and search a new one. Things change and feelings to. I think it is fine to stick to something for some time, even if it isn't feeling great but at some point you have to let go and find new things which make you feel more fulfilled.

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Bugger, I lost a big post I was writing! I guess I need to work on completing tasks promptly after starting them.

Essentially,  today I summed up the courage to go to the high school I went to 3 years ago, to say hi to friends I left behind. (I went there for two years, and left 3 years ago). I always feared going back there because I thought I might not be welcomed, or that some people would reject me for leaving them, but I was happily mistaken (I’m able to do this because my school started our holiday on Friday, but almost every other NZ school continues till this Friday). I came as an official visitor during the school lunch time, and I was greeted warmly by many old friends. A couple of closer ones followed/lead me around the entire time I was there, my surprise visit seemed to make a lot of people’s days (as in, “you’ve made my day” sort of thing). (Lots more parenthesis :P ).

My twin and step-brother have now been trying to get me to play pokemon-go but I'm afraid it's not in my best interests. Although it seems like a really tempting game to play, I know it would suck away a lot of precious time that I'd better use on many other things, even if it's just a mobile game (I don't use any of those btw).

Workout/run

Yes.

Meditation

Yes.

Visualisation

Yup.

Sufficient sleep, in bed by 9pm

No, again.

Reading & note taking for 20+ mins

Nope, I need to get to bed earlier!

Read one 'banked' email

Yup.

Watch one motivational run/workout video

Yep.

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Reference to a few posts of yours ago, but I also listened to the Derek Sivers ep on the Tim Ferriss show, that was a great one! I relate to him as well.

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