Tom's journal

[Tom]

Day 63. I woke up first and enjoyed some reading and cooking. I also got an early start with work to make room for a longer break I had to take later in the day. Work kept me positively busy with interesting stuff. My weightlifting session went very well. I need to find a solution to further improve my grip: I struggled to hold the bar during my last set of deadlifts and my technique suffered. I don't want to wear gloves. I'll try just using more chalk.

My wife and I had a last-minute invitation to a concert from a friend. We managed to get babysitting and go. Nice!

I didn't spend much time with my children today. Oh well, I'll have Friday off so I'll make it up to them!

Gratitude journal:

1. My job keeps me stimulated by throwing challenges.
2. I got to spend time with my wife as a couple.
3. Our babysitter is fantastic.

Edited December 3, 2015 by Tom

[Tom]

Day 64. What a nice morning. I jumped on an early call and took a longer morning break. I went to a new specialty coffee place that just opened in the neighborhood. With my wife, our youngest, a friend and her little daughter. The staff is passionate and knowledgeable and there are some special tea blends for sale at a very fair price. So we enjoyed some good coffee and cake and came back home with a bag of genmaicha, a tea on my to-taste list which I had never been able to find.

Gratitude journal:

1. Tomorrow I have a day off and a nice program.
2. I was in a good mood all day.
3. Spreadsheets!

[Cam Adair]

Love good coffee. Having one right now. Cheers.

[Tom]

Day 65. Today is a day off so yesterday I went to sleep later. You know what the default activity would have been. Instead I sat by the piano and started learning a new short piece. I just let myself get absorbed and didn't set a time limit.

So I woke up a bit tired since I slept short and my youngest was a bit restless during the night. Not too bad though. I spent the morning with my eldest, lifted weights and finished learning the piece in the afternoon, and cooked dinner with my wife. In the afternoon I also had a nice chat with the husband of our childminder. It was the first time I met him, and the first time that I got to talk extensively with the childminder too. What had to be just a pickup ended up being one hour conversing with two nice, interesting people. 

Our friends came over for dinner. We noticed that it's around three years that we know each other. We had a wonderful evening. I couldn't be happier. And today is Saturday, so I'll play some more music before going to bed.

Gratitude journal:

1. Edvard Grieg. I think he's underrated.
2. Being social today. I'm starting to question my belief that I need a lot of time alone.
3. Photographers. It's a beautiful art form.

[SpiNips]

Edvard Grieg is Great!

[Tom]

Day 66. Again the little one kicked and screamed quite a lot tonight. In the morning we were all tired and my eldest was also coughing a bit, so we skipped the swimming pool. We did what everybody swears they won't do with their children: we planted them in front of a screen for a couple of hours while we rested and regained some will to live. It was for the best

In the afternoon we all went to visit our babysitter who is going back to her home country next week. We'll miss her: she was truly excellent and a pleasure to be around. Her boyfriend's computer case was on the desk with its side taken off. I had quick peek. Nice, a gamer! If we reach an agreement I'll sell him my video card and downgrade to a low-power, fanless model.

Gratitude journal:

1. We had a fun afternoon. Going out of the house helped shift into more positive gears.
2. The prospect of downgrading my desktop PC.
3. Spending time with my wife after the children fell asleep.

[Tom]

Day 67. I spent all day at home. We decorated the living room and my wife left to meet a friend. It was good to spend time with the children although I started feeling a bit too tired. I hope I didn't catch anything. The little one is acting out a lot and has trouble falling and staying asleep. Fingers crossed.

Gratitude journal:

1. My children are really happy about Christmas lights and music.
2. We didn't have to cook much today.
3. I don't work on Sundays.

[kortheo]

Haha, this must be the only website where people get excited about downgrading their computers

[Tom]

Day 68. Screw the alarm clock. That's what my wife and I would have loved to say. But there's school, there's work, so up we go. We can't wait for the little one to get past the infamous terrible twos.

Short on sleep, a bit sick and with a never-ending to-do list but I still managed to keep the spirits up. Today was also the day I had to match my personal weightlifting records and I was astounded: it was no big deal! Now I'm curious to see where this new intermediate program will bring me.

Gratitude journal:

1. My thermos cup dispensing sips of comforting, delicious tea.
2. The fun I had turning a broken gamepad into a desk organizer like these ones.
3. My wife for proofreading my business correspondence in her native language.

[Tom]

Day 69. Today I took it easy. Yesterday evening I told to my wife: when the workday is over I'll stop working. And so I did. I also took better breaks during the day. A nice morning walk with my youngest son before the workday, making hummus mid-morning, chatting with my family in the afternoon. Maybe as a consequence, I was very focused at work and had more fun than usual.

I started listening Radical Acceptance, the book Travis is reading. I have mixed feelings about it, which is great. I find it thought-provoking. The fact that it draws a lot from Buddhism is a plus for me, since that's a philosophy that influences me greatly.

Gratitude journal:

1. Colorless Takuru Tazaki and his years of pilgrimage. It was a great read.
2. > echo "The command line."
3. The possibility to have a quiet time.

Edited December 8, 2015 by Tom

[kortheo]

Hey Tom,

Awesome that you picked up Radical Acceptance. Let me know what you think as you go through it. I'm actually only 1/3 through it myself, so I still have a lot to process with it. I think it can definitely be challenging if you're not used to accepting yourself... which most of us aren't.

Buddhism influences me a lot as well... I'd also like to read more stoic thought, since they have a lot of similarities.

[Cam Adair]

I just finished Rising Strong by Brené Brown and will be hitting up Radical Acceptance shortly. Think I'm going to read Attached first.

[Tom]

Day 70. I'm a bit sick today. I let my wife take care of the children and got up later. Work went well, I have spent some time with my family, and sold my video card.

This morning when I was swapping cards I started wondering about how they compare in terms of performance. I thought that I could run a game just for testing purposes. If I had one installed I might have even done it. Of course HearthStone would run. But I don't have it. Linux is not a supported platform. I installed low-performance drivers. I can't access my battle.net account either. I put up so many safeties that I effectively boycotted myself from gaming. The best part is that I didn't feel frustrated, I felt reassured! The fact that I'm investing so much into not gaming gives me confidence.

So I gained a new video card plus some spare cash by selling the old card. I also generally feel better. I didn't change any other major variables besides quitting gaming, no new habits gained or old habits dropped, so that must be it. I simply poured time for gaming into time for other things I was already doing. That proves to me that not gaming is the right choice for me.

Gratitude journal:

1. My wife. Thinking that we are together for more than a decade! It's a blessing to be with her.
2. My bed is awesome. One of the best things we bought, ever.
3. Matching my PRs in the gym and the confidence that I gain from weightlifting.

[Cam Adair]

Awesome to read your progress. It's amazing how the simple act of removing games from our lives can be such a catalyst for everything else.

[Tom]

Day 71. I slept longer again thanks to my wife and got up feeling remarkably better. She also made me a kick-ass omelette. I dived into work, interacted a bit on Game Quitters, and put my children to bed. Not much time for anything else today.

I'm still reading Radical Acceptance although not that fast. I listen to audiobooks before falling asleep but in the past few days I was just too tired to last longer than five minutes. Today I managed to squeeze in one chapter, and now it's time to read more. It's a strange book. Brings back memories and stirs up feelings. It's quite a personal experience.

Gratitude journal:

1. Being open but selective as to who belongs in my life.
2. NASA and ESA capturing breathtaking images of the universe.
3. Wikipedia.

[AlexTheGrape]

It's good to see that you make no mention to gaming compulsions in your posts! Seeing that you're having a rough time, it appears that you may have overcome an old tendency to play games whenever you felt down (it surely was something I did). Keep it up and I hope you get well soon!

[Tom]

Day 72. Haha, I'm in great health again! I kept to my good habits every day, knowing that they would make the time more enjoyable.

I made good progress with Radical Acceptance and I'm beginning to accept it (pun!). Sometimes the tone puts me off but the concepts are solid. Some of them are already part of my daily life while others are not. Strangely I feel more compelled about the book if I think how it could benefit my children. Right now I am the one training them for life, along with my wife and a handful of others. If I can do anything to help them be equipped for life's shitstorms to come, I shall,

Today I've been around people all the time. Work, trains, home. Always in a good mood safe for maybe one hour.

I started working on breaking my PRs next Monday. I didn't read The Slight Edge but, by what little I know of it, adding 2.5kg to your lifts would fit as an example. Enjoying every little victory knowing that it compounds.

Gratitude journal:

1. The postman knocking on the window when we didn't hear the doorbell.
2. Claude Debussy's piano works. A pleasure to play, a joy to listen.
3. Our Christmas decorations make me smile. The children love them.

[AlexTheGrape]

Great to see that you've gotten better so fast. What is Radical Acceptance about, may I ask? I am currently reading You are not so smart and by the way you're describing it, it looks like it would be a good read.

[Tom]

Great to see that you've gotten better so fast. What is Radical Acceptance about, may I ask? I am currently reading You are not so smart and by the way you're describing it, it looks like it would be a good read.

Thanks Alex! Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha mixes psychology and Buddhism. The author guides you through many techniques for feeling better with yourself, drawing from Buddhist doctrine and from her personal experience as a psychotherapist. If you pick it up let me know what you think of it.

[Tom]

Day 73. A nice day. I got to take care of my wife and spend time with the children. And I'm off to bed, my eyes are closing!

Gratitude journal:

1. I'm finding fun in a lot of things.
2. I had a long chat with my brother.
3. Friendly people in the street and in the shops.

[Tom]

Day 74. A day of R&R. I played piano, hung out on Game Quitters and checked out some interesting videos and articles. We had a social dinner with two other families and that was great. We are connecting more and more. Our children get along well. It's refreshing to have friendships developing. And all thanks to a dare to myself in the first days I quit gaming: go to the park and chat up some mums. Sometimes creepy is the way to go

Gratitude journal:

1. I'm truly enjoying playing music again.
2. Having friends in the neighborhood.
3. Cold showers blasting me back into here and now.

[Marquess]

You have a family and are chatting up moms. Damn it, I've barely started reading your thread and it's already disturbing :P.

 

Edited December 13, 2015 by Marchosias
OH WOW THERES BOTH LIKES AND POST COUNTER I WONDER WHO HAS THE BEST POST/LIKES RATIO HERE PROBABLY CAM BUT PERHAPS NOT SINCE HE POSTS A LOT

[Cam Adair]

Cold showers blasting me back into here and now.

Haha yep, every day.

[Phoenix]

Awesome, you're taking cold showers as well Tom?  
Cold showers are... well.. cold. But they come with great benefits.

Cold showers blasting me back into here and now.

Haha yep, every day.

As someone taking daily cold showers I can confirm this

[Tom]

Awesome, you're taking cold showers as well Tom?  
Cold showers are... well.. cold. But they come with great benefits.

Oh yes. Daily cold showers for four years already.