Tom's journal

[Tom]

Day 75. Today I was a bit sluggish. Well, morning was good: I helped my son get ready for school, had a hearty breakfast, and played the piano while my wife and the little one were still asleep. Then I worked until around lunch time and squeezed my workout in. I'm satisfied. As of today I'm challenging my personal records every week. This is gonna kick ass.

In the afternoon I just found it harder to concentrate and took a long time to get everything I wanted done. I'm thrilled with how things are going and at the same time I really want a holiday. 

In hindsight I just took longer breaks during the day so I should feel more satisfied. I'll take a moment to savor the day and cut myself some slack. I find the gratitude journal helps in keeping a healthy perspective of life. So:

Gratitude journal.

1. I am fucking relentless. Once I get going there's no stopping me. I'm happy to reclaim this energy from gaming.
2. The Mellotron. What a fantastic instrument.
3. Sense of humor. Can't imagine a world where everybody is serious.

[AlexTheGrape]

Nice job on improving your day! I know that long breaks can be really refreshing, so good on you for taking the time to savor the day.

If you were to take a holiday, I have the feeling that daily habits you have started may fade away. I know that after playing video games during holidays, I would have to 're-learn' how to enjoy other activities and to do homework on a daily basis. If you have ideas on this, please let me know.

Looks like taking a cold shower could be useful, I'll make sure to try it tomorrow.

Keep it up, you're only 15 days away from finishing your detox!

[Cam Adair]

I am fucking relentless. Once I get going there's no stopping me. I'm happy to reclaim this energy from gaming.

100%!

[Tom]

 

Nice job on improving your day! I know that long breaks can be really refreshing, so good on you for taking the time to savor the day.

Keep it up, you're only 15 days away from finishing your detox!

Thanks Sir 

If you were to take a holiday, I have the feeling that daily habits you have started may fade away. I know that after playing video games during holidays, I would have to 're-learn' how to enjoy other activities and to do homework on a daily basis. If you have ideas on this, please let me know.

You are right: the habits may try to slip away. But I just won't let them. I found that being assertive is paramount. And this goes hand in hand with careful preparation. We'll all be going to visit my parents for two weeks, so what did I do? Yesterday I wrote the local powerlifting association asking for advice on where to train. If I get no answer, there's always the gym a few hundred meters from my parents's place. It's sub-optimal but it will do. I'll have my piano and lots of scores and I know exactly what pieces I want to study. We'll be taking a laptop so I can keep studying Dutch. Games? No thanks: I've got places to go, people to see.

Looks like taking a cold shower could be useful, I'll make sure to try it tomorrow.

My favorite way is to wash with lava and rinse with ice. Aah, the sauna feeling!

[AlexTheGrape]

Sounds like a plan, Sir! Thanks for the ideas

[Tom]

Day 76. An intense day as I try to get as much as I can done before the end of Friday. All is well. A child at school broke my son's glasses now that we are about to leave, so we had to put an old pair together (ironically, broken by the same child) with duct tape and superglue. This is what bothers me at the moment. He'll have to spend weeks of discomfort while he waits for his new glasses. On the flip side, this time he'll probably understand how much he depends on them and won't let anybody get near them.

Gratitude journal:

1. Modern medicine making blindness much rarer.
2. This sketch 
3. The works of H.R. Giger.

Edited December 15, 2015 by Tom

[wookieshark88]

I'm finally free from this semester, and I read some of your latest posts.  They are just as encouraging as I remember!  Thanks for sharing!

[Tom]

I'm finally free from this semester, and I read some of your latest posts.  They are just as encouraging as I remember!  Thanks for sharing!

Thank you for reading Joe! I always follow your journal and find it inspiring!

[Tom]

Day 77. Rough night and morning, with the children not feeling well. I had lower energy throughout the day. So what? I worked at a good pace, shuffling priorities around as new assignments came. I'm on track. I took my breaks either talking with family or playing the piano. Also I got to interact a bit here on Game Quitters.I struggled with my workout and still managed to break through my shoulder press and deadlift personal records. The children are feeling better now, and I anticipate spending time alone with my wife after they are asleep.

Gratitude journal:

1. Good, free training programs where all it takes is consistent effort.
2. free-scores.com
3. Eating three warm, succulent meals every day.

[Cam Adair]

Really appreciate you being a part of our community here Tom! 

[Tom]

Day 78. I got up and started preparing for the day. Then I noticed a line of cockroaches coming in from under the French-door and into my room, collecting crumbs from under the bed. I went to ask my wife to come and see. She was hanging the clothes out to dry. She pretended she didn't hear me. I went closer. She looked at me and didn't say anything. Back into our room I noticed that the cockroaches were climbing up from a grill... but we don't have a grill there, do we? We also clean our house well and don't eat in our bedroom... Oh, I get it. A dream. Good morning.

So I managed to sabotage my fool-proof alarm clock. Apparently I can just shut down the phone while it rings. No need to get up and scan the barcode I put on a shelf in the living room. Oh well. I generally wake up on my own, so I'll just treat it as "I really, really needed to sleep longer". Which is fair enough: although I get at least eight hours of sleep each night, they are fragmented by two poor children feeling unwell. Hopefully they'll get better soon.

The book I'm reading, Radical Acceptance, gives some excellent advice. I'm past my initial rejection of the writing style and enjoying the wisdom within it. I started using some of its meditation and mindfulness techniques.

My day was good. I'm super satisfied of the quality and quantity of my work. I spent my breaks with the family and progressed a couple of lines with the piano piece I'm studying. I like that I picked something else that makes me move and requires consistent work.

It's clear that I am attracted by tasks that are regular and provide measurable growth. What makes all the difference is the purpose. It's easy to stay focused If I set my awareness on an end goal that feels meaningful. Therefore I'll keep doing alignment checks. Only I will use a simpler question. "What am I doing?" should do.

I realized I lack a real motivation for studying Dutch. Because I live here is not cutting it. I'm not invested. I think I need to find a social activity that I love and where nobody speaks English. Or just a group dedicated to language learning.

Gratitude journal:

1. The colleague who was so patient to have a two hour conversation with me in Dutch.
2. Walking in the woods when coming home tonight.
3. Being free for weeks from long dreams where I game.

Edited December 18, 2015 by Tom

[wookieshark88]

I exhaled in relief when I found out it was a dream.  I was seriously horrified for you.

[Tom]

Day 79. The little guy put up a real show tonight. Today he explained to me that he is afraid. He couldn't say afraid of what, maybe he doesn't know himself. However, this is good news: now we know what's going on! We can comfort him, and fear can be overcome.

Last day of work before my vacation. Miracolously I managed to close the day with the feeling that I have done everything. Now I can really disconnect and recharge.

I took some good breaks: walking with the little one, coffee with my wife, playing piano, lifting weights. Then my wife went out with a friend so the boys and I played and told stories until they fell asleep.

Today was a good day.

Gratitude journal:

1. I was always in a good mood.
2. My wife came home with two delicious muffins.
3. Epsom salt baths.

[Tom]

Day 80. Done with all preparations. Tomorrow we fly to my parents for a couple of weeks. The children are happy and excited. My wife can't wait. I'm happy too. It will be good to see everybody after almost a year, and this time for a cheerful occasion. I am looking forward to spending my holidays truly connecting with people.

Gratitude journal:

1. We exchanged simple gifts with our neighbors.
2. My sister and her family called us to wish us safe travels and tell us how much they are waiting for us.
3. I had a power nap right before lunch. That got me out of a bout of bad mood.

[wookieshark88]

I hope you enjoy the trip and the time with your family!  It will be fun to see your journal entries of your experiences, and see if things are a little different now that you're game free!

[Tom]

Day 81. Flying around lunch is perfect. We had time for a good breakfast and no rush getting to the airport. A smooth flight. And then bam, my former country, my native language, my parents. Home? Not anymore. But close. 

I made the conscious choice tu be open and affectionate towards my family and friends. To be conscious in all interactions and never react according to old behaviors. To be compassionate and sincerely wish for other people's happiness. 

We settled at my parents's place. Went all to my sister's place for dinner where we met the newest addition to the family. Then I asked my father out, something I wouldn't normally do. We waited for my brother and went to visit my cousin at his newly opened bar. 

It was a good day. 

Gratitude journal :

1. Meeting a friend at the airport and giving him a ride home. 
2. My cousin quitting his job and following his dream paid off. He is happier and healthier. 
3. I am genuinely happy to see my family. 

Edited December 23, 2015 by Tom

[Cam Adair]

Love flying around lunch too. 

I made the conscious choice tu be open and affectionate towards my family and friends. To be conscious in all interactions and never react according to old behaviors. To be compassionate and sincerely wish for other people's happiness. 

Love this!

[Tom]

Day 82. A slow morning after yesterday's night out. The children are happy playing around the house, enjoying all the attention and waiting for the next surprise. 

In the afternoon we went to the Christmas party of our volunteer association. My wife and I volunteered and worked there for years. It was touching to see again the people we care so much about. Even more touching was seeing the name plaque on the main hall. A friend one year my senior who recently died after a long fight with cancer. I met some new faces. Listened to new stories. It was humbling. 

Gratitude journal :

1. There is goodness in the world. More than we usually realize. 
2. I'm in a privileged position to be of help to others.. 
3. Chasing meaning over entertainment. 

Edited December 23, 2015 by Tom

[Django]

Hey Tom,

I like reading : 3. Chasing meaning over entertainment. 

Timing couldn't be better as I started listening to the audiobook version of the slight edge, and in there, in chapter 1) the shoeshine woman, the author tells that if the lady had read other books (personal development) that her fiction novels, amongst doing other things, she could have ended up elsewhere.

And I wrote in my journal in answer to Cam that I still needed some entertainment in the form of novels. Knowing it's my brain looking for a substitute to gaming

So how important is chasing meaning over entertainment for you and how do you get entertained these days? (Still reading your journal, should have started from the beginning )

 

[SpiNips]

There is nothing like reuniting with your old friends! 

[Tom]

So how important is chasing meaning over entertainment for you and how do you get entertained these days? (Still reading your journal, should have started from the beginning )

Hey Django, thanks for reading my journal! 

I tend to be quite deliberate with what I do at all times. I usually a project or cause and funnel my time and energy there. They are either individual projects to improve personally or professionally, or helping others.

On the entertainment side, I love reading and listening to audiobooks, both fiction and non fiction. Music is another passion of mine. I listen to and play a wide variety of genres. I catch the occasional TV show with my wife as something we can do together.

[Tom]

Day 83. An easy morning and then a half-day trip with my father, brother, and children. My wife isn't feeling well so she stayed at home to rest. In the evening I started fixing my father's PC, played with my kids and nephew, and later helped my mum sort out a mountain of papers. I also played the piano in the morning and in the evening.

Gratitude journal:

1. The beautiful lanscapes of my childhood and early youth.
2. Having let go of the desire to change those around me, accepting them and loving them as they are.
3. An old, forgotten backup of just before I left my parents's home. What a dive in the past.

[wookieshark88]

When I read your entries, it reminds me of when I return to see my parents and childhood home.  Good stuff!

[AlexTheGrape]

If I were to learn to play another instrument, I think I would like to play the piano. I hope you're having a blast with the family!

[Tom]

Day 84. Another slow morning. My wife is all better which is great! Unfortunately my newborn nephew had to be hospitalized. Nothing serious, although she and my sister will spend Christmas at the hospital.

For lunch we went to a complex for the elderly where a friend just relocated after losing her eyesight. It's a nice structure with shared facilities and a studio flat for each tenant. She's very happy to live there as she can socialize and feel safe. It was amazing to have all the other grandpas and grandmas, perfect strangers, lighten up when seeing my children, talking to them and playing with them. A lady even asked if she could invite us to her place and have some cigarettes! Well, she did correct herself right away: candy, I mean candy!

While our friend is doing well, I met another old friend who is not that great. I was delighted to see him and also saddened by realizing that his spark is almost gone. We are quite similar in character and greatly enjoyed each other's company and wit, especially in the three years before I emigrated. Such is life.

In the evening my wife and I went out for dinner with a friend and met her boyfriend for the first time. No surprise: he's quite a character and we clicked together fine. We had an awesome night out.

Gratitude journal:

1. We had fun decorating my parent's home for Christmas.
2. A new local craft beer that tastes great.
3. Being friends with people of all ages.