Tom's journal

[Cam Adair]

I love hearing how much time your family spends together.

[Tom]

Day 53. Full-time dad and husband today. I loved that I could spend time with all the family and separately with my children. I like to give my full attention to one person at a time and I find it the best way to grow closer. I went to the swimming pool with my elder son, then out for groceries with the little one. With my wife we are striving to carve out some time together as a couple. It's a stage of life and sure it will be easier when the children are older.

Gratitude journal:

1. I was energetic today. This is what I want every Sunday.
2. My wife and I know how to rock a kitchen. She's better, of course.
3. Mint tea.

Edited November 23, 2015 by Tom

[Tom]

Day 54. A good day. I met all my strength training goals for today. Work went well although I feel overwhelmed. I'm still working through my backlog while helping new colleagues and tackling all kind of last-minute requests. It will be so much better once I'll be done with a couple of big projects. Better still, in one month I'll be on holiday

I do still feel gaming cravings. That's no surprise after plowing neural patterns for 30 years. There's still something I need to work on but I can't put my finger on it yet. Sure it will become clearer in time.

Gratitude journal:

1. The more I give my full attention to the children the more our bond grows.
2. I'm healthy and in enough good shape to play acrobats with the children.
3. I had a nice chat with a few relatives.

Edited November 24, 2015 by Tom

[Cam Adair]

Ah! Just saw the picture with your sticker! Very nice.

[Tom]

Day 55. Woke up later than usual as planned yesterday with my wife. We prefer getting enough sleep rather than sticking to a time no matter what. Another good morning followed by a pretty frustrating workday. I'm taking ages to complete an assignment because I lack the resources I need. I got a first draft done and it sucks. Hopefully my manager will come up with some suggestions. Anyway, dinner with my family and some language learning with cartoons helped dissipate the feeling of frustration.

Gratitude journal:

1. A Swedish pen pal just accepted a new job in Amsterdam. We'll have a beer in a few months.
2. A friend found a real gem: a Studio Ghibli tribute metal band!
3. My space heater has an antifreeze function saving my home office from certain demise.

[Cam Adair]

Can't wait to come visit in Amsterdam too! Maybe in the Spring

[Tom]

Can't wait to come visit in Amsterdam too! Maybe in the Spring

When you know let me know!

[Tom]

Day 56. A fantastic day! Which is strange since my routine was completely thrown off. I had an eye checkup and everything is OK. The frightful assignment of doom has been put on hold. My workout went 91.67% well. More than everything, I was in a good mood all day.

Gratitude journal:

1. My renewed Linux workstation is rock-solid, fun to use, and looks great.
2. I got some green tea brought over from China as a gift. It tastes wonderful.
3. Hank Levy is a music genius. I wish there were more composers like him.

[Tom]

Day 57. Another strange day, a generally good one. My wife is not feeling well but still takes care of everything, which was a lot today. I was always busy so my family time was fragmented. I kept reminding myself of how lucky I am that I get to see them all the time. Our life has changed for the better.

My latest project is trying to be more cheerful and to take things less seriously. I'm ready for whatever comes in life. Let's focus on the little joys of today.

Gratitude journal:

1. My children are stubborn and full of energy. They'll give me hell but hopefully they'll also have enough willpower to take on life.
2. My wife is indescribably exceptional.
3. I can finally go to bed

[Cam Adair]

My latest project is trying to be more cheerful and to take things less seriously. I'm ready for whatever comes in life. Let's focus on the little joys of today.

I am trying the same at the moment!

[AlexTheGrape]

Hi Tom,

Nice to see you're doing well without games! It humbling to know that you still look at the positive side of things even when you have a frustrating or otherwise troublesome day.

I'd like to know more about your pen pal. I remember having a pen pal when I was about 10, but I was incredibly lazy at the time and only did what I was obligated to because it was school homework. Is there a website I need to use or something? Is this one right? http://www.penpalworld.com/

[Tom]

Hi Tom,

Nice to see you're doing well without games! It humbling to know that you still look at the positive side of things even when you have a frustrating or otherwise troublesome day.

I'd like to know more about your pen pal. I remember having a pen pal when I was about 10, but I was incredibly lazy at the time and only did what I was obligated to because it was school homework. Is there a website I need to use or something? Is this one right? http://www.penpalworld.com/

I never actively looked for pen pals after an experience in middle school: our classes met, she saw me, laughed at me and stopped writing

In my job I talk to and correspond with hundreds of people every year. With a handful of them something clicks and we just keep writing each other. That's how it went with the Swedish guy.

[Tom]

Day 58. Both my latest projects are going great.

Aiming to get at least nine hours of sleep means that I almost always wake up before the alarm clock. A natural awakening means that I get enough sleep. Now it doesn't feel like I'm wasting time since I have more energy during the day, with all its positive consequences.

Being more cheerful, well, it's day 1.5 that I'm consciously focusing on that so it might be a little bit early to comment. I can say that today was good.

Gratitude journal:

1. At Game Quitters we are a nice, supportive community. It's pretty cool.
2. 100% of my weightlifting targets today.
3. Usagi Drop.

Edited November 27, 2015 by Tom

[Cam Adair]

Awesome to hear your projects are going well.

[Florian]

Day 58. Both my latest projects are going great.

Aiming to get at least nine hours of sleep means that I almost always wake up before the alarm clock. A natural awakening means that I get enough sleep. Now it doesn't feel like I'm wasting time since I have more energy during the day, with all its positive consequences.

Being more cheerful, well, it's day 1.5 that I'm consciously focusing on that so it might be a little bit early to comment. I can say that today was good.

Gratitude journal:

1. At Game Quitters we are a nice, supportive community. It's pretty cool.
2. 100% of my weightlifting targets today.
3. Usagi Drop.

Sounds great. What is an "Usagi Drop"?

[Tom]

1. Usagi Drop.

Sounds great. What is an "Usagi Drop"?

It's a short Japanese anime series I'm watching. It's a beautiful comedy/drama/slice-of-life story.

[Florian]

1. Usagi Drop.

Sounds great. What is an "Usagi Drop"?

It's a short Japanese anime series I'm watching. It's a beautiful comedy/drama/slice-of-life story.

Interesting! I realized that they have synchronized one of the cartoons I was watching as a kid into english: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA_v8jXziJ4

[Tom]

1. Usagi Drop.

Sounds great. What is an "Usagi Drop"?

It's a short Japanese anime series I'm watching. It's a beautiful comedy/drama/slice-of-life story.

Interesting! I realized that they have synchronized one of the cartoons I was watching as a kid into english: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA_v8jXziJ4

Yeah, I have some childhood memories of that cartoon too

[Tom]

Day 59. Today was great. We went to the swimming pool and a family of friends joined too. I'm letting go of any desire of "competitive" swimming and embracing the activity as family bonding time. Still sometimes I manage to get my children to sit on my back and we make a few laps. All in all I'm loving this new weekly tradition.

In the afternoon I spent time with everybody separately. We just chilled out. Later we made pizza and cake and a friend came over. Instead of nagging the children about bedtime we picked a couple of movies that could be watched with children but wouldn't bore us to death, in case they didn't want to stay in bed. And they didn't, so we had a blast with their reactions to monsters and explosions  Don't worry, nothing nasty!

Gratitude journal:

1. At home we are all learning to take life more lightly.
2. We have friends. This place is starting to feel like home, and it's about time!
3. We found tahini. Time to make homemade hummus!

[Tom]

Day 60. Another great day. I woke up before everyone else so I had a chance to play the piano and read. When the family was up we took our time with breakfast and lunch. My wife and I then worked on the new floors for the children.

It's two months without games. Tonight I dreamed of gaming again but this time it wasn't a nice dream. You might call it a gaming nightmare. I also still get some flashbacks, especially about TF2 which is the last competitive game I played. The fact is that I don't care about gaming anymore but I still crave for adrenaline. Where to get some? I'd love to get back on the tatami but that's not an option at the moment. Maybe even the craving for adrenaline will subside over time. Or I'll simply start get a kick out of other things that previously didn't affect me very much. 

Gratitude journal:

1. My wife is a great handyperson. We wouldn't get anything done without her.
2. The lady of the Chinease takeaway is such a nice person!
3. I'm enjoying my new book, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami.

[wookieshark88]

Two months is absolutely incredible!  It was around that much time that I knew that I could keep myself game free forever!  Like you, I had dreams, then nightmares, and now it's been a while since I had any dreams of games at all!  You're well on your way to being free!

[Ed]

The fact is that I don't care about gaming anymore but I still crave for adrenaline. Where to get some?

I'd usually suggest martial arts training, especially where you spar and there's a real chance of feeling pain.  Unfortunately you've stated this isn't an option at the moment.

So other suggestions, roughly ranked from most physically dangerous to least:

Skydiving

Bungee jump

Go to a gun range and shoot some targets

Paintball

Karaoke

Join Toastmasters and give a speech

 

The bottom two are probably the ones I find the most scary.

I think as you get older your craving for adrenaline reduces slightly but it doesn't totally go away.

[Tom]

Thanks Ed. Those are good suggestions. Right now I'll keep my head down and see if I benefit from less adrenaline. I'm curious.

[Tom]

Day 61. Jeez, it's over  Closing the month sure takes a lot of time. I'm finally done with work, quite satisfied with what I got done, and definitely happy that I met all my goals for today's weight training. I also spent some time with my family and behaved. I'm liking my conscious effort to be cheerful. 

Gratitude journal:

1. The power of "I care" and "I don't care". When used well they are the key to a happy life.
2. My home office. I can really buckle down and get things done.
3. There is so much variety in the world of music.

[Tom]

Day 62. A slower day. I woke up later to make sure I got more sleep since yesterday I had to go to bed late. I paced the day to be sustainable and enjoyed what I did. Lately I've been doodling much more on my whiteboard. I'm having fun representing everything with a drawing, using the least possible words and numbers. I'm not that good ad drawing but that's beyond the point. I'm on my feet, focused on what matters and enjoying it a bit more.

Gratitude journal:

1. Elimination, simplification, automation, delegation. In that order.
2. Seeing my wife's paintings around the house.
3. Having chosen to list three items and not 10 like Joe and Travis