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Simon E

A life without gaming

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Because the act of gaming is at violent opposition with who I want to become. You cannot have a growth mindset and play video games 4 hours a day. These are oxymorons. I cannot look life in the eyes and truthfully say I am on the right path when gaming. 

EXACTLY.

 

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I'm glad you tried and you have something similar with me.

We both can't do it to moderate.

But I still want to gain this ability.

To just be able to play 30 minutes a day. And have a normal life.

Anyways, now I have a challenge for 1000 days and you said you'd like to join.

So, let's go and let's fuck'em up, shall we? :)

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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Day 2: Hello friends! Forgot to journal yesterday, but somehow the world didn't end ;) 

The christmas holidays is messing with my habits and stuff, but I suppose that's to be expected. It's manageable, and after all, christmas is only once a year :P

Another thing - I'm actually feeling cravings now. It was so long since the previous time. I guess I created them for myself by trying out gaming again. There's the usual "Maybe I should just decide to not give a fuck about anything and game? It wouldn't be that bad of a life..." I'm right, to a certain degree. It wouldn't be bad, but I want so much more! 

That's why I'll join @hycniejsy on the 1000 days challenge. Honestly, I don't think I will be able to go back to gaming even after a 1000 days, which is painful to accept, but I still want to do the challenge. I feel like it'll make the days matter more, you know? Like the days will become more special, like every single one of these 1000 days will be an achievement on its own. "What gets measured gets managed."

In addition to being game free, I'll add a lot of other goals too, and measure my progress. I've been watching Thomas Frank for quite a while, and I like his idea (not really his, but whatever) of an "Impossible List", so today I thought I'd make one for myself. It feels good to write down a bunch of big, ambitious goals. The first step in the 1000 miles journey is writing down where you want to go. 

Short-term challenges: TV-series/youtube. Whenever I quit games, this is my second choice, and even if they do not pose as big of a problem, it's still easy to waste hours upon hours infront of the screen. I'll fight this by choosing to read a book instead of bringing my iPad whenever I sit down to eat, so I won't have to finish the episode afterwards. 

That's it for today. Feeling positive for the future!

Au revoir, mes amis.

 

Edited by Simon E

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I guess I created them for myself by trying out gaming again.

Much of what we experience or feel is a result of actions we've taken. As much as we normally recognize this from a place of negative emotions, the same is possible for positive ones.  

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Day 2: Hello friends! Forgot to journal yesterday, but somehow the world didn't end ;) 

The christmas holidays is messing with my habits and stuff, but I suppose that's to be expected. It's manageable, and after all, christmas is only once a year :P

Hello, pal. World didn't end but you had to wait a bit more for my answer.

Christmas holidays is probably messing with anyone's habits but what I do instead of taking care of that? I spent time with my family, I spent time on cooking a lot, that helps me to focus on the present time and enjoy Christmas.

I remember when my friend told he has to weightlift during Christmas (he had his own gym in the basement) and follow the diet, otherwise he'll lose .01 mm of his biceps. I think, that this attitude is insane and not worth of time spent with family.

Another thing - I'm actually feeling cravings now. It was so long since the previous time. I guess I created them for myself by trying out gaming again. There's the usual "Maybe I should just decide to not give a fuck about anything and game? It wouldn't be that bad of a life..." I'm right, to a certain degree. It wouldn't be bad, but I want so much more!

I feel cravings too. But if you decide to not give a fuck about anything and game, then you'll be slapped in the face by Mad Pharmacist. Probably with base or acid. I've heard it hurts like a bitch.
Jokes aside :D, if you want to thrive in your life like dandelion instead of being just barely able to survive like armed tapeworm, you have to abstain from games.

That's why I'll join @hycniejsy on the 1000 days challenge. Honestly, I don't think I will be able to go back to gaming even after a 1000 days, which is painful to accept, but I still want to do the challenge. I feel like it'll make the days matter more, you know? Like the days will become more special, like every single one of these 1000 days will be an achievement on its own. "What gets measured gets managed."

You're welcome! Each day is like 0,1% of progress to get this achievement of Rotating Sambucus Nigra :D. That's how I'm gonna call it, or maybe you have any better ideas for name of achieving 1000 days with me? :) 

In addition to being game free, I'll add a lot of other goals too, and measure my progress. I've been watching Thomas Frank for quite a while, and I like his idea (not really his, but whatever) of an "Impossible List", so today I thought I'd make one for myself. It feels good to write down a bunch of big, ambitious goals. The first step in the 1000 miles journey is writing down where you want to go.

If you have Cameron's challenge, you can check up my impossible list on a private forum for inspiration. If you don't tell me and I'll copy/paste it for you.

Also, kind of inspiration is in my signature. Some people keep telling me that they're impossible to achieve, so it's kinda like impossible list, right? :D

Short-term challenges: TV-series/youtube. Whenever I quit games, this is my second choice, and even if they do not pose as big of a problem, it's still easy to waste hours upon hours infront of the screen. I'll fight this by choosing to read a book instead of bringing my iPad whenever I sit down to eat, so I won't have to finish the episode afterwards. 

That's it for today. Feeling positive for the future!

Au revoir, mes amis.

That's important step for me too. I can relate to YT as a second choice of mine. Especially movies that are just useless thrash.

I recommend podcast for eating instead of reading, because you'll focus your sight on food instead of book and this way you'll also focus on putting food inside your mouth instead of garment! :)

Hope this helps.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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Day 3: 

@hycniejsy Thanks for your thorough answer. Yeah, you're right about the family thing. What you described is pretty insane, but as for the habits I do daily, it sucks to lose a long streak simply because it's christmas or whatever, so these I struggle to get done anyways.

You should slap me with some botolinum toxin ;) or would that be too hardcore?

Days are going well right now, to be honest, although I tend to procrastinate my work and my creative business. I'm really good at making sure I get my ass to the gym, and I've taken daily walks for like 80 consecutive days now. Taking care of my diet is also easy for me - if something, I struggle to eat enough calories haha. I guess I should be grateful for this. I find that the physical aspects are the easiest to manage, because they do not require mental effort, which is the hard part. Discipline, focus, creativity. 

But it won't become any easier if I procrastinate. Nothing worth having comes easy, right? I guess I should begin to do these things earlier in the day, and say no to the ever so tempting netflix. 

That's it for today (it feels silly to journal about stuff that I haven't done, instead of actually going and doing them. Makes sense?)

Haha. Feeling well and optimistic atleast. Life isn't to be taken too seriously. Go in peace, peeps!

 

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Day 4: All is well. I feel I am using my winter holidays properly. I've set my eyes on a few short-story competitions, which will bring me motivation to write (something I've been lacking lately). I desperately need to rebuild my writing habit. 

Not much to say other than that. I'd rather be doing things (no offense <3). 

Peace.

 

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Day 3: 

@hycniejsy Thanks for your thorough answer. Yeah, you're right about the family thing. What you described is pretty insane, but as for the habits I do daily, it sucks to lose a long streak simply because it's christmas or whatever, so these I struggle to get done anyways.

Do what you have to do, and I'll be fine. For now.

You should slap me with some botolinum toxin ;) or would that be too hardcore?

It's botulinum toxin, neurotoxin produced by Clostridium botulinum and no, I don't want to kill you. This way I'll loose a companion on my journey! :|

Ah, and thanks for reminding me some info for my microbiology exam! :D

Day 4: All is well. I feel I am using my winter holidays properly. I've set my eyes on a few short-story competitions, which will bring me motivation to write (something I've been lacking lately). I desperately need to rebuild my writing habit. 

So write, my friend! That's all you have to do!

And btw. if you write, then I'll reply to your entry :)

 

 

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Day 7: Happy new years? Kinda? Yeah! 

I checked my coach.me statistics, and do you know what I realized? This year, I've spent more days game free than I have spent days gaming. That's amazing! Probably the first time that has happened since I began playing, honestly. 189 days free, and thus 176 days gaming.

Next year, I'll aim for 365 days free from games. What? It's good to be ambitious.

Also, I got interested in NoFap a couple days ago, when an irl friend brought the subject up. I'm kinda sceptical, but why not? I doubt this would be too hard, since I am pretty disciplined already. Does anyone have any experience on the subject?

I'm hyped for 2017! You know this corny analogy about life being the true game? It feels like that right now, corny or not. I'm going to master this game of life.

Going into the new year by bringing back an old promise: no youtube or netflix at all, no matter what. 

That'll be hard, but I think I can do it, with some grit and discipline. It also helps to know that by writing here, you guys will hold me accountable (right?). 

That's it for now, only 40 min left here. Hope you're all having an amazing evening. 

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Day 9: Yoooooooooo guys! Checking in. 

Everything is going well. Feels good to say that. I'm basically gathering momentum in almost every area; however slow it might be happening, I'm progressing. 

(I won't be journaling as much as long as everything goes well, because I feel like I'd rather be doing stuff than writing about what I did here. Nothing personal ;) )

I hope it's going well for you guys too.

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Doing well is the thing we all look for and wish to ourselves. It's always so heart-warming for me to see another GameQuitter happy with their life. Even if bad things happen, remember that they are part of our life, so don't hesitate to share them and fix them with us!

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Day 10: 

Glad you're doing well.

Thank you! (Both for your comment and for the fact that I probably wouldn't be doing quite so well without your efforts.)

Doing well is the thing we all look for and wish to ourselves. It's always so heart-warming for me to see another GameQuitter happy with their life. Even if bad things happen, remember that they are part of our life, so don't hesitate to share them and fix them with us!

Thanks! I've had my fair share of struggle, so I can really appreciate good times. If I struggle with anything, I'll let you guys know.

Today I just checked in to say how grateful I am for:

  • Cold showers. I know people are talking about this everywhere, and it can get rather tedious, but man do they make you feel alive. 
  • School of life (a youtube channel - go check them out), and philosophy in general. Another thing that really makes you come alive. 

That's it for aujourd'hui. Go in peace, my friends :^)

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Day 15: Hey. I'm just checking in to make sure you guys know I'm alive. 

I've been struggling a little lately; been feeling kinda undisciplined and tired, which has resulted in consuming stuff from the internet. I realize now that it might have been kinda naïve of me to expect to be able to quit all youtube and netflix cold turkey - its something I will have to work on for a while, with repeated attempts of quitting/decreasing the time spent on it.

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

Today I regained control though, motivated as I am by the terrifying fact that school starts again in 2 days. I want to begin this term with some momentum, and at that I think I've suceeded (probably the first winter holidays that I haven't spent gaming away #success). I'm striving to become more of a machine in that sense. I want to be able to get shit done no matter how I'm feeling. 

That's a journey, I guess. I'll attempt to exercise my "will-muscle" a bit every day. 

Now I should get to sleep. I am in desperate need of fixing my sleep schedule. Honestly, it might be broken beyond repairing. Oh well. 

G'night people. 

Edited by Simon E

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I hope you enjoy your school term this time around! It's definitely a struggle to start when there's some resistance to doing work. I can certainly relate. 
Best of luck to you! I'll be checking in.

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If cold turkey is inappropriate method to quit and you want to lower time spent on certain activity,  I advise you to write in calendar how much time you can spend every week with lowering tendency. When trying lowering we often find excuses to keep time the same or even longer. Watch out for that. 

Oh, and good job on that first game -free winter holiday! 

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Day 23: You know what that means? I'm 2.3% into my 1000 days challenge! Haha. Exciting stuff, I know. 

Life is going well - I've bought and borrowed a bunch of developmental books to indulge in - "How to stop worrying and start living", "How to win friends and influence", "Daring Greatly" etc, and I've started quite a few. I absolutely love the feeling when you read about a concept and you can almost feel how it sinks in, and you realize how and when you can use it. A moment of growth.

I think it's tremendously important for human beings to keep learning and growing, to feel like no matter the problems, there's always information and techniques to learn that can help you overcome whatever it is you face - a search for happiness, wanting to have a better career etc. I'm truly grateful that I'm born in a place and time where it's possible to develop yourself.

Another thing I've found, as a result of this new learning, is that I want to share this feeling, this idea of bettering yourself. I've always considered myself as a somewhat "selfish" person - I do not get involved with other people that much. But now I geniunely want to tell everyone how amazing it feels to actually learn new, important stuff - to feel in control of your life. It also made me question why not everyone does this. Why are people content with a stagnant life of consumerism and 9 to 5 jobs? Why do they resist adopting these new mindsets? It saddens me a bit. 

Apart from that, I'm keeping my other daily Slight Edge-esque habits in check, which gives me a solid foundation. As long as I do these, I'm awarded with a certain calm - however I might feel on a daily basis, I'm atleast progressing, moving forward.

Also, I've begun working on what might be my biggest challenge - being social. Especially in relation to girls. I've been shy in the past, and I'm a proud introvert, and I have a way of transforming into a potato when I really need to stay sharp, haha. But I'm positive that I can get better as long as I work on it. This outlook is a result of all the reading and thinking, something I value very highly. 

Everything can be improved upon. Everything will be okay. 

This bible is all from me today. Will check in here again in a couple days. Hope you're all well! :D 

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Day 43: Uhm... Hi guys. Remember me?

Checking in here both so you know I'm alive and also because I need it. I miss the sense of control that comes with writing down thoughts and troubles. 

Things are going well, I must say. I'm a chronic perfectionist so I'm pretty much never satisfied, which is why it's additionally important for me to take a step back and look how far I've come. 1-2 years ago I sat down in front of a screen and played league for mininum of 3-4 hours every day, while also being a social potato and very limited in my thinking. I've made tremendous progress since then, but as I said, never satisfied ;) Here's the current status.

Habits and things that are going well: 

  • Sleeping. My sleeping patterns are in check, and I make sure I get around 9 hours every night. Aiming to maintain the same schedule even on weekends to see how it feels.
  • Music. I've been playing both the piano and the guitar daily for 30+ minutes each.
  • WORKING OUT. Man, I love this. I believe humans are made to move, atleast I am. I train 3-6 days a week and I feel like I'm getting stonger every time. On my way to things such as front lever, human flag and bar muscle ups. I strongly urge every one that comes across this to start exercising, it's golden.
  • Being social. I've made a conscious effort of talking more to people, especially girls, and I'm enjoying it. Will continue and intensify this.
  • Self-developmental reading. Finished "How to stop worrying and start living" by Dale Carnegie and "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown, with a big stack of other books waiting to be read. This is good.

Things that aren't going so well:

  • Studying.............. I mean, seriously? 90% of the things we do feels so meaningless. Want to know how earthworms reproduce, or how to formulate advanced mathimatic proofs? No! Me neither. I'm managing tho.
  • Discipline. Some days I just get stuck consuming or being a potato, and I don't want that. Nuh uh. Not entirely sure about how to solve this except forcing my sorry ass to stop.
  • Drawing. I do more than before, but still not every day, and nothing from imagination, which I would like to. I'm very proficient at drawing from photos and real life, but from my head? Wtf? It won't work.
  • Writing. Ughhhhh. For someone wanting to become a writer, this is a serious problem. I can't get myself to write. I'm starting to seriously doubt whether I love writing or if I'd just like to love writing. But then again, I get terribly excited making up stories in my head. Idk, I'll have to solve that somehow. Probably by shutting off my perfectionism and lowering every self-made requirement.

 

That's it for now; I simply wanted to lay out the situation before me. 

I think I might begin journaling regularly again. Not sure. We'll see ^_^

Peace for now.

Edited by Simon E

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Day 51: Yo. 5.1% of the 1000 day challenge completed. Honestly, it feels good to think of your days as part of something bigger; it grants perspective, and lets you disregard the small defeats as the irrelevant setbacks they are. 

But whatever. I'm here to bring you the current situation. Brace yourselves, it won't be pretty. 

I can't sleeeeeeeep. Pls keel me. Seriously though, I'm super thorough with my sleeping habits; cool room, relaxing bedtime rituals, somewhat same time to bed every night. Still, I wake up in the middle of every night and can't for everything that's holy go back to sleep for 30-60 min. It's terribly annoying, and I don't know the cause of it; that's what bothers me the most. 

I gave nofap a try, even though I've had no problem with porn or masturbation. It might have something to do with that? Or some underlying stress that I'm not aware of? 

Oh well, I think I'll manage. (Pls kill me). Jk - it will pass. Everything will pass. Change is the only constant. 

Everything else is going fine I think. Still struggling with discipline and writing, which is something I'll have to figure out. 

I don't know.

Life seem to pass by really quickly - you never quite get time to figure stuff out thouroughly, don't you agree? I want to pause the clock and take a couple of whole days to simply think. I guess that's too utopian.

That's it for me today. Slightly solemn post today, but you'll excuse me, right? ;) 

Peace.   

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Day 73: Hey, I'm backkkkkkk. 

I am sick with a fever and stuff, so I might be more delusional than usual. Actually, I won't write alot today. 

Things are well - except for my discipline and the way I'm managing my time: binging, youtube, etc. I think this is the next challenge for me, now that I've 'defeated' gaming. I'm positive that it can be done, but I'm asking you anwyays. If you experienced a time where you were constantly consuming tv-series or netflix or whatever, how did you deal with it? Thank you.

I might come back and write here more often (I sad that one month ago too, which didn't really happen then). We'll see.

I wish you all the best. 

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