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Remigijus Journal


Remigjus
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Hey once again , just  "survived" my first day without  gaming and I'm going to share my experience.

DAY-1

So the start  of  the new chapter in my life wasn't so easy as I expected. Because yesterday I was so motivated to quit  gaming , that I deleted all  of my games including steam, origin  etc. basically  there are no signs that represent gaming in my PC , I even changed my desktop background  with  something about game quitting. I should thank Cam for boosting my motivation , but today I woke up with very strong cravings to play... To be honest I nearly relapsed on my first day without gaming , the idea of " I'll quit playing tomorrow" attacked me again , because my brain is very smart  when it comes to  find reasons why should I start playing again. For example today is Sunday and as we all know Sunday is the last day of the week.. So I'm being attacked with thought's  like " This is the last day of the week , I'll quit the next week"  and the next day  my brain finds another way how to force me to play again , and it never stops. Back to my first day , after defeating  the urge to play games , I felt very sluggish for the rest of the day , literally I  couldn't do shit... The only thing I was capable of doing was just mindlessly browsing the internet and chatting with my gamer friends. Well, atleast that's a start :) 

 

 

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Welcome to the community!

Don't worry, over time you'll gain the energy to try new things and get everything done as time progresses. I'm just glad you were able to resist your cravings, it's a sign of strength and plus it would be really discouraging if you relapsed on your first day. Just keep going strong and I guarantee things will get better :)

 

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Yeah our brain can rationalize even our bad habits, I don't know how many nights I went to sleep thinking I would quit tomorrow, but then you wake up and want to try strategy X or get item Y or test Z. But you broke the cycle! That is no small feat, welcome, and I look forward to seeing your progress.

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Good job on smashing the first day out of the park :D Yeah I had that mentality of, oh I'll do it tomorrow...and it easily turns into a month later lol.

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because my brain is very smart when it comes to find reasons why should I start playing again.

Yep i know this. My brain used to tell me that if i played "low-risk-games" everything would be ok. Yeah right, because then it wanted me to play "medium-risk-games" and once i played those...

The one important thing is to remember: Your BRAIN wants to game. But YOU made the decision to quit.

Good job surviving the first day. :)

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DAY-2

Day 2 has  passed , to be  honest nothing special happened today. I didn't  experience any strong cravings , although  my brain attacked me again. And I need to say I almost fell for that one , because today my math teacher told me that I've passed my math exam , wich I thought I wouldn't , dunno with whose help I made it :D. So I thought  it should be a great day to celebrate my achievement by playing video games . After re-thinking this idea multiple times I realised that I might end up being stuck in the same mindset. For the rest of the day I've picked up books wich I'm going to read , created my daily  schedule. Although I still don't feel very productive  I feel a lot more better than yesterday, probably being lazy and procrastinating things is just in my nature. Also I'm not sure if I should write something here every time , since there are some days when just nothing interesting  happens or that is worth your attention.

Edited by Remigjus
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Day-7

The first week without gaming has come to an end, and I need to say  it was probably the most stressful week I've ever experienced in my life. It was full of cravings, the whole time I was just procrastinating (that's why I didn't post something here on daily basis),and  I felt irritated by everything. Throughout the week my mind was full of crazy thoughts , hell at some point of time I thought that there is no reason for me to quit playing , and I should start again. So yeah , this week wasn't one of the easiest for me , but I hope with time it will get better. Yesterday  was  very emotional for me , because I think I've made the hardest  decision in my life, by saying goodbye to my gamer friends. They were the only thing that was holding me from quitting for a long time, untill yesterday I finally did it.To be honest , it took me like 30mins before I could hit Enter and send a goodbye message to our group chat. The only thing that was holding me back from doing that earlier were the memories of  entertaining , pleasant times   that we have experienced, and of course the fact that I would miss out something important. We were even planning to do a meet up  someday... And yes I know that I can still keep in touch with them via Skype, Facebook or something else , but it will never be the same as before when I played various games with them almost every single day.

-For the next week  I'll try to significantly  reduce my time of using Youtube because it got out of hand.(I would spend like 3-4 hours a day  just by watching stupid videos.)

Edited by Remigjus
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Good job posting your update and taking that step yesterday. It's an important one and I hope you take time to feel proud of yourself for it. The first week can be difficult but it's just proof that you're doing the right thing by making some changes in your life. Keep going!

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Day-8

On the 8th day of my Detox  my mood was a complete opposite than in Day7. I felt a lot more better, so I was more productive , but only for a few hours , then my energy and my motivation disappeared for the rest of the day, and I started to procrastinate again (That's why I'm writing this at Day9). I still find it hard to stop watching YouTube , although I decreased my time spent on YouTube , but I still see it as a obstacle.

 

Edited by Remigjus
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Day-14

Two weeks have passed since the last time I've touched a video game!

The second week has come to an end, and without a further ado let's get straight into the details.This week was a lot more  different than the previous one, and It just felt more closer to a normal week(A non-gamers week). Probably because  I don't need to blame myself for constantly  playing all the time instead of doing stuff wich is important for my life , and ending every single day with the same poisonous mindset. And of course this week was filled with cravings (although not that strong) , gaming nostalgia (I even got flashbacks of games that I've  played years ago) and my new nemesis-procrastination. Like seriously , I'm constantly delaying things for 5 minutes and those minutes turn into hours , maybe it's just a side effect of gaming or just my serious lack of willpower. I hope I'll overcome this problem with time.

 

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Yes. You will overcome it. Just keep strong, focused and consistent. It's good to have planned day so you will know what you have to do for today and after finishing that you can reward yourself with like one hour of procrastination. Also, remember that sometimes you have to force yourself to do something, after few times it will become your habit and it will be easier to do this.

I recommend to watch Cam video on motivation(the one where he swears a lot ;) If you haven't seen it already.

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  • 3 weeks later...

DAY-1 (After relapse)

*cleans the dust*

A New Hope

Hey everyone it's been a while...

As most of you know , I relapsed yesterday , so I'm going to start  from zero. I'll try to  post here regularly  , but instead  writing a wall of text every single day(I'll write something if I feel so), I'm going to try something different. Just to keep this journal alive, because the last time it almost turned out  into a Monthly journal :D 

 

  • Mood - Normal
  • Cravings - 6/10
  • Time spent on gaming videos - 2mins
  • Time spent on videos unrelated to gaming - 40mins
  • Total  time spent on Youtube - 42mins
  • Productivity - 0/10

       I might add more options in the future.

 

Edited by Remigjus
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DAY-2 (After relapse)

A New Hope

Nothing special happened today , despite me being not productive and lazy(and the weather was shit), but I hope everything is going to change tomorrow! I still struggle with wasting my precious time by watching Youtube , but I'll try to overcome this problem as fast as possible otherwise I'm going to relapse again, and I wouldn't want to experience it again :D 

  • Mood - Good
  • Cravings - 4/10
  • Time spent on gaming videos 25mins
  • Time spent on videos unrelated to gaming - 1hour
  • Total  time spent on Youtube - 1hour25mins
  • Productivity - 2/10
  • Time spent on Gaming streams - 0.00

      Reading progress:

          Mastery by Robert Greene - 20/275 ( pages)

         Books to read :

                   The Art of War by Sun Tzu

         Commitments for tomorrow:

  • Workout for 2 hours.
  • Read 5 pages.
  • Do everything according to my  day schedule.
  • No YouTube.              

                    

     

 

Edited by Remigjus
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DAY-3 (After relapse)

A New Hope

I was more productive today than yesterday ,but  not at the level that I expected... I guess I still have to work on that. Cravings weren't strong at all, but there is one thing that keeps bothering me these past days... You see, a few years ago I was playing this MMORPG and it got shutdown.Then a group of people decided to revive it . They promised to rerelease it over the course of one year, but they're still working on it up till now. And the problem is that they're planning to release it soon. I really loved that game, like REALLY. That game was my life , I've made  friends by playing it, I enjoyed it even more than being outside. I feel like this is the only thing that would lead  me to relapse again. I'm afraid of that , because this time I would relapse for good...

  • Mood - Good
  • Cravings - 2/10
  • Time spent on gaming videos - 0.00
  • Time spent on videos unrelated to gaming 0.00
  • Total  time spent on Youtube - 0.00
  • Productivity - 4/10
  • Time spent on Gaming streams - 0.00
  •    Reading progress:

              Mastery by Robert Greene - 20/275 ( pages)

  •  

     Books to read :

                       The Art of War by Sun Tzu

  • Commitments for tomorrow:

  • Workout for 2 hours.
  • Read 10 pages.
  • Do everything according to my  day schedule.
  • No YouTube.         
Edited by Remigjus
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DAY-4 (After relapse)

 

A New Hope

So, the day is over. Not much to say , for the whole day I was hibernating inside , because  the weather was terrible.

  • Mood - Normal
  • Cravings - 3/10
  • Time spent on gaming videos - 0.00
  • Time spent on videos unrelated to gaming - 5mins
  • Total  time spent on Youtube - 5mins
  • Productivity - 5/10
  • Time spent on Gaming streams - 0.00
  •    Reading progress:

              Mastery by Robert Greene - 20/275 ( pages) - No progress was  made during the past 2 days. 

  •  Books to read :

                       The Art of War by Sun Tzu

  • Commitments for tomorrow:

  • Workout for 2 hours.
  • Do everything according to my  day schedule.
  • No YouTube.         
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  • 2 weeks later...

DAY-14 (After relapse)

2 weeks with no gaming!!!!

A New Hope

What's up everyone!

Sorry for being inactive  for quite a while, I was ill so  I wasn't able to do anything besides lying in bed :). About today - nothing special just another day full of procrastination.The weather was perfect, so I went  for a bike ride around my neighbourhood. I guess I can count that as  getting out of my comfort zone :P .

  • Mood - Normal
  • Cravings - 6/10
  • Time spent on gaming videos - 0.00
  • Time spent on videos unrelated to gaming - 15mins
  • Total  time spent on Youtube - 15mins
  • Productivity -  3/10
  • Time spent on Gaming streams - 0.00
  •    Reading progress:

              Mastery by Robert Greene - 20/275 ( pages) 

  •  Books to read :

                       The Art of War by Sun Tzu

  • Commitments for tomorrow:

  • Workout for 2 hours.
  • Do everything according to my  day schedule.
  • No YouTube.         
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