My journal

[Faroe Islander 135]

Yesterday was bad, woke up and almost instantly picked up a phone and it was downhill from there, most of the habits were kept which was good since it at least meant that I showed up for what I had to do and made the effort even if the total amount of progress was minimum. 

Today I'm hoping to fix this so that I can get back into the flow of things and work on getting back to speed on my studies since that had gotten left by the wayside on preparation for this contest and extracurricular activity I loved so much. At least with today it is concluded happily and I can focus my attention on remembering it fondly,  preparing for the next one and if I can doing some self-criticism with an after action report as well as thanking the team for their work towards making this one of my fondest years with this extracurricular activity.

[Faroe Islander 135]

rough day yesterday, lots of questions some let downs spend the day recovering, at first it was going to be a downward slope with the depression nap from 3 to 5 but more or less managed to save a bit of the day with some studying and some exercise, it is a big win managing to recover within the same day so I'm happy

[Faroe Islander 135]

went well in the morning, got up did some chores, went to classes and then drove back home.

after that some sport and nothing much wasted pretty much the afternoon.

I did well in the morning and managed to save the nigh for which I am proud.

I just need to keep working on the afternoon-evening periods since those tend to be the hardest ones, as well as just trying to focus on just begining the task instead of just making circles doing plans as an excuse to not get down to business.

Tomorrow my goal will be to block off distracting sites and focus on just advancing my tasks no matter how much 

[Zoe 129]

1 hour ago, Faroe Islander said:

just trying to focus on just begining the task instead of just making circles doing plans as an excuse to not get down to business.

I relate this so much!

[Faroe Islander 135]

good day, invested a significant amount of time doing work and then cooked and went out with friends instead of staying inside, I will have to focus on continuously increasing concentrated amount of time at work but today was a nice step in the right direction

[Faroe Islander 135]

22 hours ago, Zoe said:

I relate this so much!

What ways did you find to deal with this?

[Zoe 129]

On 5/26/2023 at 4:41 PM, Faroe Islander said:

What ways did you find to deal with this?

I think the most useful strategy I have found is to say…Ok, I’m going to do this for 30 minutes and see how it goes..if I still don’t feel like it after 30 minutes..I can stop. That usually gets me going and I can do something for way longer than 30 minutes. 

I tend to find it less daunting when I make “time goals” rather than task goals.  Not sure that makes sense. 

[Faroe Islander 135]

On 5/29/2023 at 12:39 AM, Zoe said:

I think the most useful strategy I have found is to say…Ok, I’m going to do this for 30 minutes and see how it goes..if I still don’t feel like it after 30 minutes..I can stop. That usually gets me going and I can do something for way longer than 30 minutes. 

I tend to find it less daunting when I make “time goals” rather than task goals.  Not sure that makes sense. 

Thank you for the advice

[Faroe Islander 135]

last 3 days been in a weird state, done work, had by fun with colleges, prepared stuff for the summer which is great and even held a great conversation with my friend over the phone about general stuff. Right now I may be feeling the come down from that.

Idk I just feel the urge to stay indoors after class and just listed to sad music, or feel some kind of petty for myself? i can't explain what it is a longing to be sad I don't know. Anyways managed to get out of bed, and I'll start with a bit of sport and just going to lab, showing up at least who knows how it will end up but let me at least be able to say that I tried 

[wheatbiscuit 31]

18 hours ago, Faroe Islander said:

last 3 days been in a weird state, done work, had by fun with colleges, prepared stuff for the summer which is great and even held a great conversation with my friend over the phone about general stuff. Right now I may be feeling the come down from that.

Idk I just feel the urge to stay indoors after class and just listed to sad music, or feel some kind of petty for myself? i can't explain what it is a longing to be sad I don't know. Anyways managed to get out of bed, and I'll start with a bit of sport and just going to lab, showing up at least who knows how it will end up but let me at least be able to say that I tried 

~ I think come-downs are almost unavoidable; if I have a good few days with friends/family then have to do my own thing for awhile, yeah. And also yep, sometimes I don't even mind what emotion I could feel, as long as I'd get a good releasing cry out of it. Like DanielG sort of advocated, it's good to 'get with' ourselves and realise what we're really doing 🖖

[Faroe Islander 135]

Well, it was a good run at least. This weekend I collapsed and resorted to youtube again, I still have to find a way to deal with music specially without going overboard and also managing the ups and downs I sometimes face.

Good things I found out:

1-Instead of going on a full self indulgence spree it was more contained, maybe it was the pressure of academic work and having overall more stuff outside the internet like commitments friends work ideas sport and goals but somehow I did manage to get out quicker

2-Routines, self reflection social connections and sport are very important if you neglect your physical and social need to focus solely on you work/entertainment ones it will come back to haunt you

3-Space between me and the internet is necessary, I can't be constantly fighting a battle to keep myself from opening a certain page, it wears me down too much, a dumb phone together with a blocker is what I need even if I may not fully like the idea of needing this "external help" to manage my time and addictions well.

4-Problems pile up you need to forgive yourself but also force yourself to correct it as soon as possible before they get to big sometimes a I'll start with a little action right now no matter how big the problem is is enough.

Bad things/realizations I had:

1-I still can't handle social media/new non-work related digital technologies like smart phones, youtube, twitch or games in general vr...

2-I'm still lacking in many non work related skills like social life, life skills, work-life balance... 

Today I'm going to get my phone and change it back to the dumb phone together with turning the blocker ups back on I still can't handle it fully on my own but I will try to keep working to one day be able to do so. 

That's about it, let me see if I can make good use of the rest of the day and to whoever is reading this just know that as my trainer once told me you can do anything another person with 2 arms and 2 legs can, you just need to believe that you can and you will get there, you are indeed capable enough just have patience and put in the work. Good luck on your journey ahead 🙂