Amphibian220

You know what blocks and extinguishes desire to game? This honest thought process (Credit to Cam Adair’s vlog): This is not real activity, but only a very contrived make-believe. You think you are in a game, but you are not just in a game. You are staring at a very carefully engineered concoction that preys on your vulnerabilities, makes your cognitive abilities weaken. The game isn’t so concerned with giving you a challenge, the game is concerned with trapping you in a loop of certain emotional dependence. You are the target of the game, not the other way round. This frankness arms you with the most potent weapon. imagine you detect that a seller wants to cheat you. All of his sales talk will fall on deaf ears from that moment. When you play a real activity (like football) you will always move in the direction of securities. Your physical, mental faculties will take benefit. When you play these video games you will always move in the direction of insecurities. Are you ready to trade? that mirage immediately becomes evident to me, when I go through that process.

Ask man! Just ask! tell you what, a guy came up to me once and went “excuse me, do you have a minute?” (Very shy) He was irritating from the get go. “Man what do you want, just get to it!” I said another time I was at the airport, some tourist from China came up and straight to the deal went “my phone’s dead, can you dial my friend for me?” “of course!” I went pay attention to how busy the person may be etc. and how much introduction he needs. But never make it longer thsn it has to be

If you dont institute changes of habits, character, daily plans right now you are going to slumber on until it hits you hard. bad habits take you out stealthily, without you noticing it.

My humble opinion, stay away from music if it sways emotions in whichever direction. You have to be cold blooded. Otherwise You begin to lose focus and dissipate. One uniting factor here is that we all want to become men. When you abuse entertainment, and dont do the things you are supposed to be doing, you have to put in the efforts just lay the foundation from the start

Hello, Do you have a mentor (family relative perhaps) who meets with you to discuss your work and issues? You obtain a lot of support and a reality check from personal contact with a trusted mentor. Did you ever wonder about these fears that become so controlling? There was one book that is very strange in its layout and structure : its called anti-fragile and it talks about healthy and harmful stressors in life. It truly made me look at what scared me differently. It turned things upside down. I just cannot remember the thing about it, but I carried away not just knowledge, but slighlty changed behaviour and perception from it and that’s what matters. I just cant retell it, you have to read it, because it delivers concepts in a novel way. (My feeling): when I was super secure financially and in other ways, I was not going to get into all sort of new situations, explore new things and confront people and myself. Complacency reached its peak The weird thing is, adversity and difficulty initially scared the crap out of me, but then I started attacking and dealing with the issues, speaking to people with more concern for them and myself. Doing searching and man do you feel good and think how bad it would be if nothing ever happened to you and you lived in a box

Hello, Wanted to ask these questions Have you noticed a marked change in how you plan your day over the last weeks? Have you changed your goals relating to physical fitness, education, socializing? how much more do you complete your daily plans than you used to? Thanks

Hello Natalie, what do you think caused you to want to play the game and what other activity could you use instead of gaming in the future?

Ikar, What do you think of Elon Musk’s hours.? He didn’t bother going home after work, just lept in the office and even said if there was a way to lunch without stopping the work, he would do it. Meaningful job gives more than just financial security: it also gives security of your time, security in relations (since there is very little energy if at all left to bicker over anything, although you can have a conflict at the workplace), security of purpose, security of growth in knowledge and experience.

To give you a quick answer: Bread satiates you real quick. By cutting down on it, you will feel a bit more hungry than usual (provided you dont over-eat). Going all out on foods that you like undermines you in that since you cannot control eating, you cannot control other urges too. fasting is an excellent teacher of temperance. If you can hold back from eating, you can learn to control and get rid of bad habits

These are not good signs. Stay away from “suspicions” because they are the greatest form of a lie. Sometimes a suspicion induces a counter-suspicion between two people and the initial suspicion takes stronger effect. Emotions are hard to control but Hassan Al Basri (may He be blessed) helped me out, just by reading his statements on people and the nature of hypocrisy. Gandhi said something to the effect: show love and trust to the person who shows dislike for you (if you have to interact, especially with a close relative). This may over time disrupt his/her suspicions, assumptions about you, melt the heart and drive them to love you with a love you haven’t known yet. If not, at the very least you will be impossible to hurt and they will leave it. Most people underestemiate the power of sincerity. I try to apply this, but I still stumble when people want to be controlling and change my plans. I had some conflicts like that. Which pushed me to believe I have to give much more weight to my plans, work and ways (provided i dont do anythkng harmful) so my borders will be a lot more defined and respected. Edit: a person that shares a particular knowledge but doesn’t apply that knowledge himself, puts himself in great danger. Now that I share these points, I can sense how much responsibility and accountability lies on my shoulders. God grant us peace and wisdom.

BgK, interdict! Hold on and apply the following, its not a lot but it will save your time and efforts Start fasting. Eat in moderation, remove chocolates, cakes, pastries completely and stay away from bread. Stay on fruit/veg, some fish. Walk at least 6 kilometres today. Go into something where people always recognized you for being bright and successful (something healthy). Stay away from anything doubtful and suspicious (where chances of slipping are high)

Misread your post Dabest Dont relapse, if i am not feeling like doing a certain task, i switch to a different kind of useful task to avoid boredom- relapse This is not always possible because some tasks are part of your job and are essential. But taking a break in between, calling a friend and getting their support is always great.

Go to general discussion, celebrate and click on topic “Over one year later- what I’ve learned”

Did you see a celebratory post “1 year after”. It contains action steps and is very useful. One of the things he advises is to stick to things where you score victories and avoid things that cause trouble. Gradually your morale will grow and you will be able to sort out other issues

Hey Ismael, did you close your account? is that because you are improving and feel you are in control of your life now? Tell me man, I would celebrate and this would be such great motivation for all of us.

Strongly disagree. You dont know how far you’ve advanced, dont discount or devalue your efforts. “A lot is lost for lack of a little extra effort” The feelings lag behind your actual state a lot. I can prove it easily: Did you understand things were getting bad during gaming ? No, maybe when it was glaringly obvious now. You are changing to become a purposeful, responsible and self-sufficient person and your feelings will lag behind your actual state again. Read the celebratory post “one year after”, It has good insights.

BooksandTrees The part of loneliness is widespread, every human being has it. In teenage years I thought I was lonely when I was surrounded with friends! There was a short period of time when I got close with two other boys at school and we bonded by playing all sorts of jokes and pranks. I kept searching for this close friendship post teens but it did not happen. People just get more and more responsibility. Human beings are lonely by design, you have to execute x numbers of tasks each day, train people and love your work by putting your soul into it! When someone appears withdrawn, i play jokes on them and get kicks out of it (nothing rude, but you would be amazed how this can turn a fellow team member towards you). Read on leadership skills and humour * irony are necessary to stay in a good shape. At certain intervals you get to meet your family, friends to take interest in their affairs and feel part of a pack. What you mention is very important for your growth and success, you are searching, but you have to work with these feelings further!

My observation on loneliness- it may be a sign for good: that you are transforming into a much better person. remember when I played games, I felt a lot of power and achievement but at the end of it was a pitfall. Now i am feeling lonely and lost, but given I keep making the right choices, at the end of it is growth and success.

Yes and not only in gaming. How do you react if a colleague at work is suggesting to complete a certain task in a way you disagree with? Its very important to have healthy tested values because they help to develop a strong character and this enables one to navigate situations with confidence. since you are on this message board, you have acknowledged you have a gaming problem. I noticed that as I matured I followed my values more than the opinions of my friends, family. However I never ignore opinions of the people that care for me, I listen to them and take responsibility for my decisions. I stat away from things that look doubtful. What is crucial is to respect your time and care for yourself, that’s when you don’t have any difficulty rejecting something you dont like and people dont mind that either.

So great that you are hitting your targets and persevering. I have to take therapy that will delay my work and this is annoying. Cannot do much except take it slow and easy

Try this recipe: either fast or (better) remove bread, chocolates and all sorts of pastries from diet. Mostly take fruit/veg, rice and little meat (better cod fish) in moderation. Walk for 30 -40 minutes per day ( or other cardio exercise). I have an achievement in this, i walked 30 minutes without any thought taking hold of me. Not lying, I employed thought jamming: every step you make count it. If you lose count it means you’re not trying! Restart immediately. I counted up to 20 000 steps without stopping (imagining a red counter in front of me) Jamming is an interesting self challenge. Cardio combined with this temperate diet pre-empts a situation where this can happen. The energy is expended differently If one day goes okay, apply the diet and cardio a second day. You can go like this indefinitely.

Number one: abandon that bad habit absolutely. 100 per cent- your mental state will improve significantly! Respond to anger thoughts methodically with the most honest answer. For example: “You are getting angry to excuse dereliction of duty and laziness, to shift blame to others and then relapse. You are not tricking yourself so easy” Also use interdiction! Knock on neighbours door and start a conversation for example. Then practice giving a solid rebuttal in front of a mirror. Practice like 5-6 times. You will feel real good after defending your territory later.

Jordan, This isn’t that hard. You said any attractive girl would give you the motivation. This is a good sign: you are clever enough to understand this “attraction” is merely a diversion that has confused you. I’m sure you will find your second half that will share your values and respect you. Heavy programming is at play. You have to reprogram your values and not follow the models popularized by fake cinema.

Vidar, good effort, but drop the bad habit. where is your burning desire to achieve your goal?

I know what you mean. I want to start a company of my own and develop goals to that end (financing, know-how, organization, personnel, product offering, growth plan), but at some point the goals have to change because your initial assessment wasn’t realistic. The plan will be out of date many times over because the more you act on it, the more insight and knowledge you will acquire. Its possible that your circumstances change and you dont want to pursue that business idea. In practice, I approached a company with a business idea because I didnt have enough money to test it out myself. They were cautious and chose not to proceed. I lacked presentation and communication skills back then, but they sensed zeal and enthusiasm in my presentation. I can tell from this that a well rounded personality can pull through much better. Let me say what i learned from my field. Really good advocates and lawyers have connections with judges and other civil servants (I’m not talking about anything illegal). From being in the know, they know what will pass and what will fail. So they are in the best position to learn and apply business ideas. My plan now is to join a business and try to develop enough to become the person “in the know”. Then there is risk too when you embark upon these goals. If you suffer a setback, the goal seems to move further away and is elusive. From what I read in books, mistakes and setbacks will make you better at planning and achieving your goals. Taking many years to achieve something will be a thrill, you feel like you really earned it and you can navigate the world of business a lot better. The crucial thing is not to repeat mistakes, it helps to write down experience of this kind in your diary.