Amphibian220

Caught in a system trap. 1) Combination of an irritable bowel and a bad back leaves very little energy to pursue healthy activities. In the absence of energy, this pull arises for browsing information that’s on its own is not unhealthy BUT on the whole is detrimental to me because it lacks structured learning. 2) The job is constantly demanding and also plays a role in leaving insufficient energy. Yesterday I was looking for some time just to rest away from work. My back cant handle more education at the end of the day, but I can take 15-20 minutes of study time at max. 3) But the job keeps me in a balanced check too because it is interesting enough. 4) Performance reviews are nervous, but less than in the past and communication is very limited. I need to get books communication techniques, plus I need to taste acting school.

The way I see it is that Control over situations is necessary to get our desired daily goals. When we are suddenly in a situation where that result isn’t coming despite our best efforts, there is a short moment when we can decide how to react. So why do we rush with anger? With me, when I lived an urgent life, constantly rushing to do one thing after another, the very slight mishap could set me off plus there was this unhealthy fear of things not going right. I asked myself why was i chasing one goal after another, and from what i could see I never planned my time but reacted to situations and had a very poor record of doing things right. This way, all the work just amassed and became hard to manage. Another thing that helped me to regain composure is controlling my habits: eating, resting and entertainment. When I put that into effect I was more able to control myself in situations. There is maturity in saying no to an offer because it doesn’t suit your goals, your time limits or moral boundaries. Observing good and bad examples of conflict management and writing them down is a good idea too, because it shows you that anxiety and anger isn’t the right way to solve a problem. Hope this is of help to you.

Welcome Dirac, so you are a wrestler by calling, that’s one pf my favourite sports. I wrestled as a kid and loved the experience. Wish you to recover soon and establish healthy alternatives to gaming. What do you say of Cameron’s 18 healthy replacements? In that list is reading, painting, learning a new language among others. I think there are many healthy habits you can start without going back to gaming. I don’t see staying at home and avoiding public transport in your condition as you described it as cowardice, I see it as a reasonable and essential decision to recover. When I suffered an injury, I stayed home for extended periods of time, but kept communicating with my friends on the phone to cope with loneliness.

You can only understand the benefits when you get to achieve greater goals. Even if you stop playing, you will not experience different emotions. Games will appear harmless. James Clear advises an interesting thing- because catastrophic consequences for bad habits are always delayed in time, try to bring the pain a lot closer in order not to waste your years. In one example his friend signed a contract that he would pay I think 50 dollars for evey time he broke his rule. The signing part with a counterparty was the strongest safeguard. He insisted on signing a new contract every month, because a verbal undertaking can be reneged on a lot easier. Visualising myself as an ill, irresponsible and unreliable person 5 years down the line helps in not returning to old ways. I constantly have to look for ways at excelling at a sustainable pace. The problem of absentees (best description of a gamer is that he is mentally absent) is that a set salary or job is sufficient for him. Given those maximum values, a person can impersonate a professional and do his job as a side hobby. Thats why mediocre goals are not an alternative to gaming.

Energy slumped in the first two days, but yesterday for the first time my productivity increased .

Grown up life feels a “downgrade” to you because there are obligations and penalties imposed for going against the rules of the system. But isn’t it a necessary element of any community? The system has to react and to keep in you in check. I am thinking about breakthrough personalities in history that hacked the system. They shared something in common: they devised superior discipline, combined it with great vision and attacked from an angle that the system with all its actors absolutely couldn’t foresee. I see that you feel an obligation to work more because you didn’t work “enough” on your goals in the past. But if that is causing stress now, then how sustainable is it over a 3 month span, over a 1 year span? What if you try to look at ways you can bring down the pressure and sharpen the saw? So I don’t just want to be a cog of the system. Creating something great and of meaning always requires to challenge the system. This is why every measurable improvement in health, beneficial knowledge, communication skills, generosity and humbleness counts towards that chance.

Okay, you are talking time scarcity and this is important because it concerns everybody in what the media calls the developed world. The drive is to increase the value of your time that is being taken from you in a non linear way. An office worker somewhere in a city like Paris can generate far more tax revenue and demand for goods and services from the intensive work he performs than the slaves or laborers who performed physically demanding work just two generations ago. Just think how many people are engaged in social security, other bureaucratic agencies performing work on that one office worker. This office worker can’t find the time to mentor his children anymore, and this function is now taken over by the television and internet. They teach their own values. The drive is to make your time more expensive, generate super revenues for the system and create a culture of super consumption. The most amazing representation of this that I’ve witnessed is that those poor countries that are shipping food and commodities to developed countries are in fact subsidizing the unsustainable over consumption of the latter. There is so much credit in the west for over consuming, but in a sophisticated way it is actually provided by the poorer trading countries. They struggle to feed themselves. The system now tells you cannot have a healthy relationship, because you’ve only have a bare minimum left for a shower and supper at the end of the day. The wife is trained by the system that material values are primary. Your question is then, how can I create time abundance in this system? This is what I’m thinking about myself. I guess following the important goals on a regular daily basis, keeping that time for what really matters is what will bring me success.

The superhero films. From my experience they serve that need to escape from reality. They are substitutes to video games in a way. I am planning on staying away from media and spending all my spare time on education and sports. My current perception is that I will tire myself out in a week, but I will wait and see what happens.

No news and no media today. I’m going to read a book now. Day 1 complete

I dream to escape the feelings of boredom and routine. What if I do the opposite today? What if I continue like that for a week? I am sure to get more time for self-revival. My time will increase. I’ll write down the results next week.

Money is so short but that is only because I’m not a good saver. Had I cooked my lunch at home and done the full exercise routine, my nutrition would improve non-linearly and I wouldn’t require as much sugar to keep myself going. I need to find that time to look for new jobs because burnout at work follows a similar pattern to an uncontrolled gaming habit. I’ve made too few applications in these last months. My important goals require more self confidence, proactivity and planning.

The job is something I am good at Ikar, but given the workload of over 100 cases, it was not immediately apparent if my skills were sufficient to handle it. I mean there may be people who will say that working at that pace is not hard at all. Unusually, there was lax control over my progress and the backlog grew out of control. I wrote a few months back about how oversight was lacking. I am used to a much more stringent scrutiny. I can take the same kind of job, provided there is a greater harmony and communication between sales, legal function and the managing director.

Good one. A gamer is least likely to be actively listening when he is being addressed by someone. The problem comes from frequent lack of energy that he is facing.

Just wanted to comment on Cameron’s recent televised interview. The interview was done by an American news channel and there was one other respondent who became a millionaire by winning a video game tournament. I really appreciate that Cameron had the chance to state about the dangers of video games, how they can undermine character and lead many young people astray. I must say he was afforded insufficient time because he is really good at showing how these games are a fraud. This is not an exaggeration. Your grandad that took a soccer ball on his day out and played with his neighbors had a more meaningful and happy life than you if you are spending time at the screen. If the screen keeps telling you you’re happy, that may not be true. I’m glad it got nationwide coverage in the US. I hoped Cameron would talk more about insidious media (music, film, internet, social networks and covert advertising techniques) that undermine mental health and threaten peace in the country but he wasn’t afforded time for that. One issue which caught my attention was the young kid who was commended for his video gaming success. A huge point was not talked about here by all the people in the interview. There was praise for the 10 million prize money, but what did the guy create? Money is not an end in itself. You can measure that by observing your mental health recover, your relationships with people gaining aspects of mutual respect, humbleness, sincerity and trust. What is the message to our youth then. If you join a local swimming club and don’t become the olympic champion, you will get a healthy body and mind. But if you join a video game team or a cinema club for your daily hit where will you end up (regardless of how high you rise). What about your time, especially at young age?

A feminine man can’t sacrifice and risk in the way that anyone reading this will understand. The only recourse that a feminine man has is through societal protocols, and that leads to progressive breakup of his natural abilities. You go into any reputable organization and you will find men prepared to defend their territory and face adversity. You may get the functionaries, akin to your man in a case, but the deal makers are going to be men of substance. Women that want to take risks and go into unpredictable situations other than by mere duress? You will find odd outliers, but women like that don’t make good mothers or wives. Because that natural instinct for defending the offspring is no longer there. One proviso: to go on adventures isn’t meant in an idiotic way like someone wandering about aimlessly. No, it means starting up a unique business and going through all the pain sweat and tears to produce something that serves community in a beneficial way.

You must retrogressively modify your computer to rid yourself of the possibility of playing. You must install pop up blockers on your computer. You must drop the “nice guy mode” and insist on not having games played in front of you by your friend. You must be prepared for a confrontation. You must not watch television. If you follow all these musts, you will get a glimpse at how your grandfather lived, and whether he was better off or not. But if you never follow them, you won’t get to know that. ————————- From your posts you accept yourself as a gamer and you mentioned that you played a lot in the past. But you haven’t come on here by mere chance, something has caused you to come onto this forum and confront the insincerity in yourself. I don’t think you fully comprehend the costs of playing those video games. I think that if you watch the video of Cam Adair “Three lies that gamers tell themselves to continue playing”, your breakthrough will come a lot sooner. The sooner you realize the full costs of playing the better. Keep in mind that small daily errors compound. Today it is 30 minutes, tomorrow 1 hour of playing and in 1 month it is 6 hours of playing. Are you really a gamer? “This really spoke to me since I proceeded to ask myself if I am still a gamer, and at the time my honest answer was still yes. I was in the middle of a detox that at the time I felt fully committed to, but when facing myself and asking "me" if I was still a gamer, my deep down honestly answer was still a firm "yes". At the time I already relapsed and was in and out of gaming on a day to day basis and the stress with other factors in my life was overwhelming, so I once again I reached my mental limit, said "fuck it", quit the detox and went back to gaming. The progress I had made has slowly slipped away over the past 3 weeks, but what @amchow pointed out to me continued to ring through my head throughout it all. I've done these detoxes for the past year as a hope to take a break from gaming so when I come back, I'll hopefully have worked on my life enough so I can balance gaming with it when reintroducing it. At no point of any of these detoxes have I ever been able to tell myself that, "I'm no longer a gamer". My answer was always to find the middle ground which was to figure out how to balance out gaming in my life. After a full year of incredible life improvement during detoxes followed by an immediate downfall when introducing gaming back into my life, I finally have to admit to myself that there is no middle ground. At least not for me. I am to weak minded to be able to balance gaming with the rest of my life. When it is apart of my life, it is all I do and think about. Even when I'm not gaming, I'll be thinking about it as long as I have permission from myself to do it. I finally have to face my truth which is that I will continue to live as a gamer and go nowhere with my goals and life, or I will "no longer be a gamer" and my life will absolutely improve. There is no middle ground. There is absolutely no middle ground and I've accepted that. My life immediately improves every time I stop gaming and immediately goes to shit the moment its reintroduced. The good news is, I feel like it's often difficult in life to determine what the right option to choose is in order to improve your life. In my case, that option isn't what I was hoping for, but regardless that option is crystal clear. There is no middle ground for me. I need to quit gaming, then my life will absolutely positively 100% improve. I've seen it happen over and over again, I've been through it a million times, the answer is crystal clear, I need to quit gaming and that is the only answer for me. So with all that being said, I'm here to say that I'm no longer a gamer. I know the road ahead will be rocky, but it is the only path for me as long as I want my life to improve. This is no longer a 90 day detox. I am here to post about how I'm quitting gaming. The process is going to be one day at a time, but I'll continue to work at it one day at a time. It's been a rough 3 weeks for me, but it might have been necessary for me to come to this conclusion.” “we are not talking about a man that is more feminine than an average woman, we are talking about a real man. A real man is a person who is willing to sacrifice, to take risks, go on adventure, step over the limits that he has been used to. He aims to climb the highest peak, to enter territory unknown to him etc. because through his work, plans which are NOT grounded in simple consumerist terms (comfort, physical wants) are put into action.”

Interesting, you were setting yourself up that you would play, but you didn’t. What made you change your mind? Are you going to remove the stimuli from your environment that are influencing you in a negative way? What do you want to replace gaming with, any kind of sport?

Basically, this new job is so overwhelming, it resembles playing a video game. My clothing, food and exercise quality went down to a bare minimum. I’ll work on weekends just to finish all of my work on time. But worst of all, it enabled me to escape from one of the most pressing issues: communication skills. Just performing administrative work threw me back a lot in that regard, I can’t find a time to speak to somebody on issues that concern me. Recently the work got very stressful and when somebody remarked about a mistake I made I was unusually defensive. Normally, I would take the time to listen to the feedback, but I interrupted. This was because there was a huge backlog and I felt like I was letting down the team. Well being defensive made me look rude and now I owe an apology. I realized I need to resign after having completed my last assignments.

Gamers lack properties of character- No particular interest in food (anything that takes an effort), clothing, communication. This persists even after ending the gaming habit. How do gamers tend to stay in that pit? Gaming affects habits, back health and digestive health. The combination of the three leaves a chronic inability to take an active interest in developing character. What is worse is that modern cities exacerbate the problem by the office work model. Office work is especially unhealthy for gamers.

Any progress so far?

How have you been man, how is your education and work. Are you fighting?

Definitions can mean such a huge difference. Here I am saying not to use something as an escape when in fact we all need a healthy escape from time to time that is more like a distraction. Yesterday I went for a jog followed by a long walk. It felt an escape to me, because keeping work in my head every day is unhealthy. I think that so long that this “escape” doesn’t start to harm you over time, its ok to do. But what if your worries are too pressing? Some businessmen go for extreme sports as an outlet (climbing mountains, submerging in submarines and sky diving) just to create that big enough leap to forget about worries, keep themselves in a good mental state. I am beginning to think that my outlets are too weak. Back When I was getting beaten in boxing matches, my work problems suddenly didn’t matter anymore. A major psychologist who prepared astronauts for space programs referred to these extreme activities as stabilizing for the mental state.

You won’t have to manage this the rest of your life. Your character is always changing the more work you put into it. don't give me that negative outlook Jay, I’ll have none of it. If you’re using it as an escape, then Don’t go to board games, get into the fight. How is your job, your family? What were your achievements man?

Welcome to game quitters! Your answer lies in your own post. You were recovering when you established meaningful connections with your family or friends in healthy activities. you can watch a series of vlogs by Cam where he covers different issues with getting back to a healthy life. That, and some books Power of habit Atomic habits

Hey its Jay! Jay is back! Always welcome on this forum. Attention deficit doesn’t tell me anything man. Sure gamers are outsiders and don't develop a strong character in time, but that should go away over time as you start interacting with your community in a real way, playing sports and participating in family events. How can you acquire your subconscious thinking patterns. I gather its possible by observing your interaction with people over time and noticing how you differ from other people, what you value more or less etc. In these two years I became more forceful in voicing complaints over issues that are important for me. This is a big advancement, but I don’t stop noticing that change is a very slow progress and I have a tendency to revert to old ways in stressful situations. Hope all is well with you and your family. Never stop journaling, never stop building your character through sport and interaction with leaders.