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Julon

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About Julon

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  1. Another gaming free week. But consumed too much content again imo. Even though I‘m limiting my phone usage for the evenings, it‘s still too much. I also had a classtest this week and it didn‘t go that well, one of the main reasons being, that I startet learning way too late. (The day before). I now startet learning frequently again to avoid these stressful evenings. Still working on my discipline. Yesterday I watched the documentation „The Social dilemma“, which I can really recommend. Even though I already knew how social media and big companies are influencing our behavior, ( otherwise
  2. Wow school has just startet this week and we are already preparing for a test Next week, last year of school is definitely going to be different. Always after school i feel really down and it really makes me want to relapse. But waiting it out for 3-4 hours usually helps me to get better thoughts. Don‘t really understand that, but I‘ll just do my best at avoiding any thoughts about gaming during that period, i mean i have relapsed like 20 times that way. I‘m also constantly tired now, i can get like 8h+ of sleep but every „productive“ task bores the crap out of me and I can
  3. Last week, I‘ve tried my hardest getting my schedeule of going to the gym back together and that worked fairly well. I have also startet to look for my options after my school ends (my parents also pushed me a little.) My first application for economic engineering is now out. Don‘t really know yet if I really want to do that but I‘m applying to many different universities now. So I can maybe choose in the end. When I had nothing to do I went outside and avoided sitting around . I really notice the effect on my posture that all the sitting and lying in bed for 8 years had on my posture, eve
  4. @giblets That actually sounds like a good idea. Last time I played this game was 2016. But how addicting is that game now? I get addicted to all kind of games really easily, difference is, that Pokemon go requires you to go outside. And being stuck at home usually leads to playing games on the pc/ sitting all day. It‘s a bit unfortunate that my house is a pokestop, so I could technically stay inside 😄
  5. First two days went pretty good, I‘m starting to get back into chess a little. I played with my father, It‘s a lot more fun than I remember. We also bought a small drone to check if everything on the roof is fine. It‘s a good way to pass some time. I just don‘t know what to do with myself when there is no activity I can do. I‘ll usually listen to music for a bit, but even that gets boring. Meeting a friend often also sucks because that often means drinking alcohol or smoking weed.I‘ve thought about picking up a sport like fencing or some kind of martial arts, to maybe meet friends that don‘
  6. Hello (again), It has been almost 3 months since my last post and I had my biggest relapse yet. Just before the school started (no more online classes) I got really depressed to the point where I couldn’t find motivation for anything anymore. I thought maybe playing one game for a few hours could help my mood.... Well I was wrong! I got back into a game called Planetside 2 (a very grindy game) where I somehow still had an account with hundreds of hours on it. I got addicted again immediatly and until the school started I didn‘t even leave the house once. And then school didn‘t re
  7. Day 41-44 I worked a lot the last days because I have to keep up with stuff from school i didn‘t do the last two months. I‘m really craving for any instant gratification, nothing can get me relaxed except gaming or browsing. (Books are too exhausting). I even wanted to play some old mobile games I haven‘t played for ever. I played for 1 hour and it felt horrible, didn‘t play because it was fun, I played because my brain could just turn off. I realized , that mobile games are still very much addicting, so I took the time and deleted my current apple ID, before I seriously start play
  8. Day 39-40 I have been very busy over the past days. Worked alot on a presentation and did yoga / workouts. When I have these short periods of motivation I still have to keep myself from over working, so I‘m trying to find a balance between working and pleasurable things like listening to music reading books and going outside. Thanks for the comment, do you have the name of the book?
  9. Day 37-38 Still felt kind of down the last two days. I did yoga and my workouts. But quarantine is really getting boring. And now that I have holidays I have a lot of school stuff to catch up too... Don‘t know how I‘m going to find all that motivation... it‘s hard enough not to play any games right now.
  10. Day 36 Had a depressing mood almost the whole day,, But sometimes you just have to get up and force yourself to do atleast something. So I went stand up paddling and found some motivation. After that I had my workout. Except a bit of learning for school, that was it for the day. Could‘ve gone better but atleast I went outside for a bit.
  11. Day 35 Really boring day. I started with some yoga and did a lot of stretching through out the day. But i didn‘t find any motivation to so stuff for school. I went for short walks hoping that maybe I would find some energy to do stuff, but nope. Hopefully tomorrow will be more successful.
  12. Day 34 Had a few online classes and avoided my phone the whole day. I now started doing a bit of yoga to improve my posture, which i did in the evening ( In the future I will do it in the morning since my energy levels then are really low then.), and after that I had my 1h workout. I watched about 2 hours of Tv which i will probably cut down to 1 hour or completely. I‘m also pretty exited that we ordered stand up paddles, they are a great distraction from gaming and get me out of the house.
  13. I‘m Back, to be honest I did not do well at all. Over the past Days I have been loosing faith in myself, mostly for not beeing able to keep my promises. I always start of very ambitious but then I end up where I came from. I don‘t even realize when all goes wrong It‘s just like a repeating cycle. At the start of the week I had some personal problems. But I could’t deal with those by just thinking about it, trying to find a solution. No, I went back to watching youtube and playing stupid browser games. When I‘m afraid of something, my old habits are the thing that I go back to. And usual
  14. Not going to be journaling the next few days, I‘m taking some time off the internet, want to see if this further benefits my journey.
  15. Day 33 Today was super boring and I couldn‘t find motivation to do productive things. Finally though I have removed my phone completely from my daily live. I realized that even listening to music all day is too much dopamine through instant gratification for my brain. Now that everything I can escape to is gone, it‘s the first time I‘m really feeling like going through a detox. I feel restless constantly and have crazy mood swings. But it‘s actually good that I finally see some withdrawal symptoms, because before it felt like nothing is changing. I hope that the less exi