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Julon

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  1. I‘ve done it! I just got my Testimony and it turned out much better than expected. I ended up being third best in my class. Struggled a bit with my oral exam preparations, but it turned out great. The grades that I got pretty much allow me to apply to any uni that I desire at the moment. I‘ve applied to two Unis so far, in the field of economic engineering. Now I‘ve got a bit of free time before uni starts. My goal is to really get into cooking to support my fitness progress.(which I‘m also gonna take more serious now.) I‘m also really happy that covid is becoming less of a problem. I hope I can take part in a lot of University sports in two months. It‘s my biggest hope for becoming more social.
  2. @Amphibian220Working out was still a big factor as well as going to bed earlier. Listening to music and maybe a few videos were my option when I wanted to relax. I didn‘t change that much besides that to be honest. I was so occupied by the stuff I had to learn, that there wasn‘t much room for other things in the two weeks before the exam.
  3. Thanks for asking @Lobares Right now I‘m trying to find the right unis, yes. Even though the idea of going to university is still kind of weird to me. I went to a school that had an emphasis on international economics, so I‘m currently looking to combine Econ with my english skills. International Affairs and Economic engineering are currently in my focus. Also right now in this situation I can‘t really imagine going to another city so I’m looking to get into my local university and maybe finish my bachelors there. Then the Master I can do in a different city / country (since my dream is to study in America once in my life) But it‘s not clear yet, I‘d also have the option to do a voluntary ecological/social year which many Universities like to see in your CV. I can plan more precisely when I have my testimony in one month.
  4. Wow, all my exams are done, I just need to get an oral grade now in 1 month. I didn‘t expect the finals to go so well, considering how little I learned. With video games I definitely would‘ve struggled a lot more. I’m relieved and finally some time to relax is there. Also really convenient, that the covid situation has just gotten much better now and everything is opening up. I’m going to the Gym tomorrow and small parties are allowed now. Haven’t seen my classmates in 3 months, gotta make up for all the time we lost... Weird thought, that I‘m gonna be out of school in 1 1/2 months after 13 years of school. What comes after is still very difficult to say... But I‘m just gonna work on my self for now and maybe discover some opportunities that way.
  5. Yeees! Hardest final exam is done. It was an exhausting exam, but I know that the grade is going to be good enough. Now full focus on Economics in a few weeks.
  6. Fuck fuck fuck.... 1 day left and with matrices I have one full topic left to learn, calculus and probability calculation aren‘t my favorite topics either... I really hope what I learned is enough to at least pass. I also really hope the exam is gonna be fair.
  7. Woke up early today, it‘s key to start early and stay away from my phone. Still motivation is hard to find. 5 learning Days are left, and the topic is really damn hard. I feel like I‘m getting overworked after about 2 hours and brakes bring me out of my flow. After a brake I‘ve usually lost all motivation. I haven‘t found the right balance yet. All these learning techniques like Pomodoro don‘t work for me sadly. At least a positive thing is, that my back pain somehow got better, makes it easier to sit down a bit longer. Just wanted to do a quick update, it‘s a nice distraction , haven‘t seen anything but numbers the last 3 weeks.
  8. Great hobbies, especially calisthenics! But I would focus a bit more. I also made plans to learn many new skills, in the end I got frustrated because I was overwhelmed and couldn‘t finish anything.
  9. I was at this point many times. I reinstalled Cs:go so many times and It was amazing. For the first two days I usually think: there is no way I‘m going to ever stop playing this game - surely there is going to be a way to implement it into my daily life in a healthy way. After 1 week though, I realize what affect it has on me. Your brain in addiction mode can‘t think rational and it does anything to get that „high“ you get from gaming. But think about it, what is going to make you happier in the long run? A sport or a game with virtual „pets“.
  10. So, first two out of four final exams are done. Biology went pretty good and english was also pretty good. Well except for one part of the listening comprehension where it sounded like the narrator spoke through a toaster. Now comes the hard part, I still have to prepare for International economics and maths. Maths is in 7 Days from now. Learning still isn‘t my thing yet 😄 But knowing how well I did in english and Biology, I‘m not too stressed about the last two exams (yet) 20% in both exams would be enough for me to pass now (I‘m trying my best of course anyways.) God I‘m going to be happy when this is finally over, especially now that it has been confirmed, that we are allowed to go to italy in one Month. First vacation in 1 1/2 years should be great. Even better that I‘m going there with my first shot of the vaccine that I‘ll get in 2 weeks.
  11. I am soo exhausted...I started studying 10 days before my final exams. My exams start in 4 days now. I have never learned more than one evening before an exam and I feel like I lack the mental capacity to sit down for a whole day to study. Learning something takes forever and most of the time I can’t concentrate at all. Also everything hurts... back, neck and shoulders. Sadly I can‘t take a brake because I started to learn waaaay to late. I‘m really not doing good right now and I wish I could relax. But if I fail these exams, all the years are wasted. Corona has made this situation worse than it should‘ve been, I have seen nobody and I haven’t had normal classes in 2 months, it‘s really getting on my nerves. 3 more weeks of hell, can‘t wait. sorry for the self pity, had to get it off my chest.
  12. Hi, I also live in Germany and my Story (so far) sounds very similar. I have also lived my life as a passenger and just managed to get through everything with above average grades while procrastinating a lot. No one knows about my problems. Honestly I have also failed to quit multiple times. Currently I‘m also in a bit of stress because my finals are in 2 weeks and I can‘t motivate myself really. The only thing that helps me currently is going for short walks and doing short workouts. Also listening to music instead of gaming is a good alternative. No reason to be ashamed, we all share the same problem here, you should be proud that you are willing to take action instead of living in denial like many addicted gamers do.
  13. Wow, that is fucked up. A different diagnosis means, that they also wont get the correct treatment right?
  14. I think many people don‘t consider themselves addicted even though they are. It is viewed as „cool“ to game 6+h a day nowadays. People in the internet (especially on reddit) surround themselves with people that have the same habits / problems, so they think it‘s normal. 3 years ago I was also in denial, I always blamed my problems on other things in my life. I never had the idea, that gaming could be the problem. And seeing how much my online friends played, I thought it was completely normal.
  15. Kinda forgot to journal because school has become really stressful again lately. In exactly one month, I will have my final exams and I‘m really struggling to learn for them. Having learned the day before every exam the last 2 years, I don‘t really know where to start. I also get tired really quick. I kind of made it better by working out every evening. It gives me the feeling of not „wasting“ a day and a little energy. At least I finished my english communication exam already with a Perfect grade last week. Thought I‘d have more anxiety, but it was incredibly easy. Living in the internet has at least given me some strengths it seems like. Talking about internet, I‘ve avoided distraction in the internet as much as I could. I replaced most of it by listening to music, not ideal, but better than constant entertainment. Last month I also visited a therapist for the first time. It was just getting to know each other. In 2 days I‘ll have another appointment, I really hope he can help me improve my mental health, especially during the preparation for my finals. Also does anyone have any tipps for getting up early? I always tell myself to get up early the next day, but in the end, I end up sleeping 2 hours longer than I need to. Thanks for commenting @Lobares Yeah what I didn‘t talk about is, how well I was doing at the beginning of 2020. I started going outside more, meeting people and tried out new stuff (even though I was still addicted) but then covid hit, doing new things got harder than ever, because nothing is allowed. covid really has made me more anxious to try new things. I know that I crave social interaction, but covid and anxiety makes everything harder. Right now I try to find small hobbies alone, but nothing seems to fit. I get bored after about 1 hour. Your last point is also really true, gaming content is the worst! If I watch gaming content at one point of the day, I won‘t be doing anything else for the rest of it. It really wakes up nostalgic feelings that I‘ll never get back by playing games. If I watch gaming content, I know that I‘m going to relapse even when I tell myself that this time „I‘m only going to play for an hour“