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About Julon

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  1. Hi, I also live in Germany and my Story (so far) sounds very similar. I have also lived my life as a passenger and just managed to get through everything with above average grades while procrastinating a lot. No one knows about my problems. Honestly I have also failed to quit multiple times. Currently I‘m also in a bit of stress because my finals are in 2 weeks and I can‘t motivate myself really. The only thing that helps me currently is going for short walks and doing short workouts. Also listening to music instead of gaming is a good alternative. No reason to be ashamed, we all shar
  2. Wow, that is fucked up. A different diagnosis means, that they also wont get the correct treatment right?
  3. I think many people don‘t consider themselves addicted even though they are. It is viewed as „cool“ to game 6+h a day nowadays. People in the internet (especially on reddit) surround themselves with people that have the same habits / problems, so they think it‘s normal. 3 years ago I was also in denial, I always blamed my problems on other things in my life. I never had the idea, that gaming could be the problem. And seeing how much my online friends played, I thought it was completely normal.
  4. Kinda forgot to journal because school has become really stressful again lately. In exactly one month, I will have my final exams and I‘m really struggling to learn for them. Having learned the day before every exam the last 2 years, I don‘t really know where to start. I also get tired really quick. I kind of made it better by working out every evening. It gives me the feeling of not „wasting“ a day and a little energy. At least I finished my english communication exam already with a Perfect grade last week. Thought I‘d have more anxiety, but it was incredibly easy. Living in the internet ha
  5. Just a small check in post. I haven‘t played any games the last week. Still my sleep schedeule is really out of order and I use my the internet to relax here and then. But I‘ve worked out 3 times and I‘ve eaten a lot healthier. Lately I‘ve had really strong urges to play though. Especially today, I almost cancelled my steam deletion request to play one or two games. My mind tried everything to get me to play for one evening - Even though I know that that‘s not true. But I literally couldn‘t think of anything else. But luckily I didn‘t go into „Just one last time“. Have failed at this stag
  6. Gotta be honest, I relapsed for one day after quitting for 3 days again. Good thing is, that I managed to use my time a bit more productively. Went to bed earlier, kept the habit of cold showers and had a workout 3 times. On the third day sadly I got my back pain again from standing more. And well my usual reaction to any sort of uncomfortable situation is gaming or browsing. So I tried to comfort myself by downloading a game again. Didn‘t have any fun at all and uninstalled it . Just stupid, but it happens. Still kept browsing a bit to much the next few days though. But overall the las
  7. I have the exact same Problem. Whenever I have to study for a test, or something overwhelms me, I watch youtube videos or browse reddit to cope with that stress. In the end I have so much stress that I have to learn the day before / often until after midnight. Entertainment is just way to good at turning your brain turn off. Having this constant entertainment also prevented me from trying new things, since they seem boring at first. Anyways I wish you good luck.
  8. Day 1 Well overall it has been a great first day staying away from useless entertainment. I really wanted to start learning for my math lessons but procrastinated by (atleast) doing other half productive things. I cleaned my room a bit and listened to music. Also stood up more, and now sadly my back pain is also coming back. I mean after sitting 2 months with almost no workout I shouldn‘t expect any different, but it was also a thing that got me really frustrated last year. To counter this a bit I did a workout in the evening and it was definitely better than my „addiction mind“ would h
  9. Just discovered your journal and it‘s shocking how many similarities I see to my gaming habits. I‘ve also neglected every responsibility the last few months to play games and watch Twitch and in the end I was just disappointed, that the games weren‘t as fun as I remembered. The tournament I just watched on twitch also just ended and it felt like a good time to get back to a normal life . Once I get a thought about streams or games I literally cannot think about anything else. A thing that does, however sometimes help is to just stand up and do a very simple task, it helps me to reevaluat
  10. Well... shit. I lost it again. I have been gaming since Dezember again reinstalling/ deleting games over and over. Before that I was on social media all day - so not really better. I felt like shit every day and everytime I thought things were going uphill, the next day „reality“ kicked in again and I was in this stupid rabbithole of selfblame and depression.I feel especially stupid because everytime I played a game, in the end I deleted the game because it was not fun at all. But still I kept reinstalling trying to get this „high“ back my brain remembers. Anyways I‘ve finally dec
  11. Another gaming free week. But consumed too much content again imo. Even though I‘m limiting my phone usage for the evenings, it‘s still too much. I also had a classtest this week and it didn‘t go that well, one of the main reasons being, that I startet learning way too late. (The day before). I now startet learning frequently again to avoid these stressful evenings. Still working on my discipline. Yesterday I watched the documentation „The Social dilemma“, which I can really recommend. Even though I already knew how social media and big companies are influencing our behavior, ( otherwise
  12. Wow school has just startet this week and we are already preparing for a test Next week, last year of school is definitely going to be different. Always after school i feel really down and it really makes me want to relapse. But waiting it out for 3-4 hours usually helps me to get better thoughts. Don‘t really understand that, but I‘ll just do my best at avoiding any thoughts about gaming during that period, i mean i have relapsed like 20 times that way. I‘m also constantly tired now, i can get like 8h+ of sleep but every „productive“ task bores the crap out of me and I can
  13. Last week, I‘ve tried my hardest getting my schedeule of going to the gym back together and that worked fairly well. I have also startet to look for my options after my school ends (my parents also pushed me a little.) My first application for economic engineering is now out. Don‘t really know yet if I really want to do that but I‘m applying to many different universities now. So I can maybe choose in the end. When I had nothing to do I went outside and avoided sitting around . I really notice the effect on my posture that all the sitting and lying in bed for 8 years had on my posture, eve
  14. @giblets That actually sounds like a good idea. Last time I played this game was 2016. But how addicting is that game now? I get addicted to all kind of games really easily, difference is, that Pokemon go requires you to go outside. And being stuck at home usually leads to playing games on the pc/ sitting all day. It‘s a bit unfortunate that my house is a pokestop, so I could technically stay inside 😄
  15. First two days went pretty good, I‘m starting to get back into chess a little. I played with my father, It‘s a lot more fun than I remember. We also bought a small drone to check if everything on the roof is fine. It‘s a good way to pass some time. I just don‘t know what to do with myself when there is no activity I can do. I‘ll usually listen to music for a bit, but even that gets boring. Meeting a friend often also sucks because that often means drinking alcohol or smoking weed.I‘ve thought about picking up a sport like fencing or some kind of martial arts, to maybe meet friends that don‘