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Quit for 90 Days!

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Posted

I think it would be awesome to have a place where we can celebrate the 90 day mark of quitting games together!

How about if we post on here the five biggest improvements, lessons learned, or anything relevant you picked up during these 90 days after we hit this milestone?

Maybe there can be other threads for longer milestones (180 days and 1 year), but I don't want to start a thread for a milestone I haven't hit.

I'll start.

I've made it to 90 days, and I feel like I conquered the impossible! This is easily my longs gameless streak in 25 years! I plan to keep on going and celebrate more milestones in the future!

Here are my five points I want to share with everybody:

  1. I am happy! I learned that happiness and entertainment are not the same thing. This is something that I never really thought about until recently. Seek happiness and not entertainment!
  2. Self improvement books are not for losers. I remember watching "What about Bob?" with Bill Murray and getting the impression that I was admitting that I was a loser if I ever read a self improvement book. That image just stuck with me until I got to this site. I read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg and my misconception was forever shattered.
  3. Meditation is worth the small amount of time it takes. Learning to be still for a while and carry a sense of mindfulness throughout the day makes me more capable, organized, and energetic.
  4. Happiness is the key to success, not the other way around. Most of my life I felt that getting a degree and a good paying job is success, but it always seemed like some sort of dystopian future deep down inside. The reason I felt this way was because I couldn't imagine myself happy in this scenario. It stressed me out because I wasn't happy in my studies, and thought I wouldn't be happy after my studies either. Then I learned to be happy every day and enjoy my journey through life with no worries for end goal. Enjoy the present moment.
  5. The little choices in life make the biggest difference towards being successful. Heroic efforts are not sustainable. Doing things through willpower is not sustainable. Doing things while unhappy is not sustainable. First, learn how to make good habits. Second, make just one good habit that you know you can enjoy. Third, revel in the good feelings that come from doing this habit every time you do it. Fourth, add another habit once you feel like you got the hang of the first habit. Five, repeat these steps until you are very happy and making progress towards your goals in life.
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Posted

I love it! I can't wait until I hit 90 days

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Posted

Awesome idea and great first post to kick it off! Love this.

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Posted

I think this is a great idea! Your 90 days sounds like they went extremely well, and I hope you're proud of that :)

My 90 days haven't been as great, but I will try to keep this as true as possible to my experience. I'll admit that I didn't do all that I could during these 90 days, but I don't see that as a failure on my part, but more of as a potential for improvement for the future. It's all about perspective, right?

5 things I have learned over the course of my first 90 (120 now) days without games:

  1. Finding another hobby is key to filling that void left by gaming. Toward the beginning I would sit at my computer bored out of my mind and the cravings were intense. It wasn't until I started playing soccer and joined a volleyball league that I suddenly found that I didn't have as much time to sit around at my computer and want nothing more than to redownload that game.
  2. My head is a lot more clear, but I am not yet in the clear. 90 days has definitely been huge for me. The cravings have lessened to a huge extent, and I feel I can think more clearly and have more control over my actions. Unfortunately, the cravings are still there and can still catch me by surprise sometimes.
  3. 90 days doesn't mean you magically won't feel like relapsing anymore. A few days ago, I joined a friend for a little bit of Minecraft. That was a huge mistake. All the sudden I was looking up new and exciting things to do in Minecraft, and figuring out the best way to go about getting Xbox Live back for my account. That night, I was on the verge of a complete and total relapse, but I was able to stop myself. I thought about how hard I had been working to quit gaming, and how much more there was to life. I had come so far, and I didn't want to end up back in the same place again. What actually helped me was actually Cam's video on How to Learn - The Four Stages of Competence. I recognized that I was still in stage 2, bouncing back and forth into stage 3. Getting this perspective on where I was enabled me to logically think about this illogical craving. As a result, I was able to toss aside the gaming craving and move on from there. [Some may disagree, but I don't consider this a relapse because I was able to face it, learn from it, and beat it and move on with improving my life].
  4. Working on my social life leaves me feeling less alone in this world. I reconnected with old friends that I had left behind for my gaming addiction, and also talked to a ton of people through my job driving for Uber to learn from their experiences. I've learned that a lot of people are unhappy with their lives and feel unfulfilled, and I recognize myself as one of those people as well. I also see that I don't want to be that kind of person anymore though, and gaming only helps contribute to that feeling for me, so it has to go.
  5. Talking about my feelings and worries when they surface helps me feel a million times better than forcing them back down and covering them up. Before, it was so easy for me to just ignore my feelings because I had video games to help me hide from them. Now, though, whenever I get a bad feeling or am worried or stressed about something, I realize that there is a whole community for me to turn to for help and guidance, or even just support. I used Reddit a lot for posting (more often than this site), but that was partially because it had a sense of anonymity to it, so I was able to be shielded in some way through that. Now I am using this site, and I don't care if people find out that I'm struggling with this. I don't feel the need to hide who I am, and I don't feel bad about having bad thoughts, worries, or emotions. I know these are temporary, and if I face them head on, I can conquer them and move on to the much better feelings.

These are the five most important things I have learned. Or more like they are the five things I can think of right now (I'm just getting into journaling, so I can't remember everything about this journey right now), but I feel like they are very representative of where I am right now on my 120th day without my video game addiction controlling my life. I know it isn't a perfect journey, but I don't expect perfection from myself right now. I'm okay with where I am and what direction I am heading, and hopefully when I hit the 180 day mark or even the 1 year mark I will be feeling even better than I am now. Only time will tell though, but until then I am going to keep fighting and struggling!

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Posted

That is an excellent post and exactly what I was hoping for from this thread! Your post is so real and thoughtful. I hope you're proud of your journey because you should be!

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Posted

I really like this idea guys. Great posts. I'm just starting on my journey, but when I get there I will share my thoughts and lessons learned!

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Posted

I really like this idea guys. Great posts. I'm just starting on my journey, but when I get there I will share my thoughts and lessons learned!

?I look forward to your success and wisdom!

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Posted

Wohooo!!! This is my 90 days game-free post (I made a similiar one on r/Stopgaming too). Quitting gaming has lead to huge change in my life.

Little background story. This is actually my second time trying to quit. I was able to go 88 days game free the last time. I relapsed for five days but realized that I'm better off without games. The relapse was important since it sealed the deal with my previous decision.

The second attempt to quit gaming went a lot smoother than the first one. The first time I hadn't sought new hobbies I was pretty much stuck home watching videos. I was feeling depressed and powerless. The second time I made sure to focus on new activities and habits, and it has really payed out! I got a job for a month, started Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and begun to read books. Suddenly I was busy and not doing nothing all day long. My self confidence started to improve rapidly. No longer did I have to fight with the counter, the days just flew by.

These things have helped me and I hope that they will help you too!

  • Keeping a journal! My journal helps me understand my situation. Writing things and feeling on paper makes them feel easier to handle.
  • Books. Really didn't know what to expect first. For instance I thought that reading books about social skills was going to somehow turn me into an unnatural weirdo. I made the decision to give them a shot. Turned out that my stereotypes from self-help books were completely and utterly wrong. They are Awesome!
  • Having hobbies and projects keeping myself busy helps me. I don't mean that packing my calendar full of stuff 24/7 would be beneficial for me but having things to do helps me feel progress.
  • Meditation. I was a bit prejudiced when it comes to meditation too. I guess I was afraid that it will turn me into a person with no feelings. I was wrong once again. It has helped me dealing with troublesome feelings really well!
  • Taking care of my sleeping eating and doing enough sports
  • And last but not least I've got to give a shootout to this website! The people are so awesome here. You guys have given me a myriad of encouragement and advice

I'm definitely going to stick to my Gamequitting journey. It feels as if I have just scratched the surface of this whole thing. My goals currently are to take care of my current good habits and form new ones, to improve my social skills and get better with relationships, and to read more books!

Thank you for reading this and thank you for helping me in this journey. I would like to end this with one of my favourite quote from Duhigg's "The Power of Habit".

Once we choose who we want to be, people grow to the way in which they have been exercised . . . If you believe you can change, if you make it a habit, the change becomes real. This is the real power of habit. The insight that your habits are what you choose them to be. Once that choice occurs, and becomes automatic, habitual, it's not only real, it starts to seem inevitable.

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Posted

I had the same prejudices as you! I felt like I had to swallow my pride to try those things out, but now I have way more pride because of them! I tried to hit "Like", but I already liked 10 posts today. This is an excellent post!

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Posted

Glad you liked it! :)

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Posted

Hit 90 yesterday! Here are my 5 improvements.

  1. Much reduced anxiety. Far less scared of the world now I am more a part of it and my social skills have improved.
  2. Improved health. Going outside more and being able to stick to fitness regimes.
  3. Hope for the future, before I felt like a broken person, like there was something fundamentally wrong, so I was more than pessimistic about my future. Now things are a lot different.
  4. More interesting of a person. I used to get very self concious that my only real hobby was gaming and that I didn't really do anything. Now I actually have some things to talk about when people ask me about myself or what I have been doing.
  5. Generally a lot happier, coming from someone who was very depressed 3 months ago.

Obviously quitting games is only a part of this, it is all the stuff you do afterwards that really helps, but of course big shoutout to camerondare whose articles and videos have been super helpful the entire time. And of course people on this forum and the subreddit.

Didn't know what I was going to do when I got to 90, I only comitted to doing this much, but the answer for now is keep on going!

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Posted

Hit 90 yesterday! Here are my 5 improvements.?

?Proud of you!! :D

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Posted

Hey I actually reached 101 days yesterday! We're basically an elite group at this point so we should give ourselves a fun group name, like, ''Game Quitters Legends''. Anyway, here's what I've learned over the last 101 days or so:

1. You need social support to make massive changes in your life. Joining this forum & talking to you guys made me remember that I can't be awesome without social support to push me in the right direction. As a teenager, I thought I could do it all by myself, especially since I felt that people in my life were actively trying to stop me from achieving my goals, but now, I've realized that if I'm going against the world, I might as well recruit the world to help me.

2. Don't try to quit any other habits when you're getting rid of an addiction, just focus on refraining from the one thing. Also, you have to want something with every fiber of your being in order to get it. That intense focus & drive is what will make you successful at anything.

3. There's no shame in going online if you can't find the support you need in real life. This is what brought me to this forum; I wanted to make these changes in my life, but nobody in my real life was supporting me in them. And hey, it's 2015, not 1995.

4. Writing stuff down on the Internet, where it stays forever, actually helps massively in forcing you to stay with your commitments. It's almost like you're promising the entire world you're going to do something; that level of accountability kind of forces you to do what you'll say you'll do; it helped me cut down greatly on all of the excuses I was making to myself & others, stop lying, get to the bottom of my problems, & start overcoming them.

5. Self-improvement is a process: it takes time, and you have to be willing to stick with it, no matter how frustrating it gets. If you do, the end payoff will be bigger than you ever thought.

6. Making mistakes/relapsing is not the end of the world; as long as you're not dead, you can always bounce back. This is actually my 3rd attempt at quitting games; my 1st & 2nd ones lasted just under 30 days each. This forum gave me the courage to get up & try again.

Peace out! Btw, check out some new pics of me trying on new clothes at the mall (to celebrate 100 days & make sure I achieved it, I went shopping for new clothes):

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Posted

Marco, that's some real wisdom right there!

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Day 91! Didn't think I'd ever be able to get here and I'm surprised by how easy it was in all honesty. I'm not saying I didn't have cravings, but they were easy to resist. So five things....

  1. I've met a few new people that have really helped. I in turn have helped them with other issues.
  2. I've been on a few dates now, early days on anything else happening with them but It's been rather nice getting out and meeting new people regardless.
  3. I'm reading again! I've finished 4 books over the 90 days, all have been amazing. I recommend them all: I am Death, Girl on the Train, Finders Keepers and Pretty Girls.
  4. Between quitting gaming and medicated ADHD my attention span has gotten so much better at college and work. I'm more relaxed and calm, I listen in turn and speak when I'm supposed to. I've have numerous people compliment my new composure :)
  5. My personal hygiene was questionable at best before this. I am now a reformed man, with a full nightly routine. My skin is looking so much better, I also have removed all the stains from my teeth >> :D << (Gross i know)

Couldn't have done it without reading all of your success stories on here and the Reddit page. Thanks to you all I'm a more calm focused man.

Also the look of surprise on my parents faces when I finished my dinner and didn't run off upstairs to game and instead chatted with them for hours was priceless :')

I'll definitely stay on both websites and keep updating my progress.

Stay Strong (y)

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