hemonkey's Journal

[Jason70]

Sorry about the relapse again, but i like to think that you never truly fail unless you give up. Even if we don't reach our goal, as long as we don't give up, we don't fail, we just learn how to get even closer to what we dream. I hope prioritizing works well for you, making to do lists (which are similar) personally help me a lot. 
 

Best 

Jason 

[hemonkey]

Day 103

No gaming: ~2 or maybe 3

I am planning several meetings at the park with my friends to encourage them to go outside although only my neighbor several streets away came. Most of my friends are gamers, most of my classmates are gamers.

Something I learned this week is that being jealous is because you didn't use your gifts God gave you. Today's wisdom is about luck. Genetics are made to adapt to one's surroundings. A blind man in a dark cave doesn't need eyes because there is nothing to see but when the blind man goes to the bright city, he is at a disadvantage, but that does not mean other people with sight is superior. It only means he is not suited for this environment.

So conclusion? Your idol is not superior than you, you just wasted your talents and pursued the wrong career. That's all for today's wisdom.

hemonkey

[hemonkey]

Hello, hello, hello! It's day 109!

I finally decided to start my meaningful quarantine plan: time management and self management. School is going back to in-person in my area so I plan on making new friends. There won't be much students on campus due to covidphobia so I am going to make the most out of it. Although I will be cautious and stay 6-feet away, I am planning to meet my classmates and hopefully make some new friends that like to exercise.

Adding to my previous paragraph, I cut off the "dangerous chat methods" off. I won't be texting/discord voice calling them now much. I hope in this brief moment of friendship transition I won't relapse into depressive gaming or anything of the sort. And I guess that is all for today as I am busy these days.

hemonkey

[hemonkey]

Hey guys it's been almost 2 weeks since I last posted here. I just wanted to say I am doing well, aside from a minor relapse. My gamer friends has been wasting their time as usual so I try my best to persuade them to exercise at the park with me. 

One thing I am passionate about is using a calendar instead of a to-do list. I watched a motivational talk about time management and decided I'm quitting the to-do list. This has been day 1 of calendar management and I have been very productive.

[hemonkey]

Hey everyone I missed april fools but here is something I am doing to make up for it: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/510828567/

[WorkInProgress]

😁 Loving programming wir Scratch. Awesome Project!

[hemonkey]

Already easter today! I have finished all of my tasks ahead of time like piano exam and numerous assignments. Now I get to have some fun going outside to the park and working on my lego films! I have not even touched lego filming ever since last month due to a combination of school and preparing for my piano exam. Now I feel more relaxed and easy with time.

Today I want to share something I learned.  It's always important to stay busy with hobbies even if you are done with everything. This can be derived from Calhoun's mice utopia. The mice who get free food and free bedding stop reproducing and started killing each other. After 2 years the mice population was on the verge of extinction. So conclusion is? if you don't have meaning in your life, create meaning. This is your life, spend it wisely.

[Jason70]

4 hours ago, hemonkey said:

It's always important to stay busy with hobbies even if you are done with everything.

This is a nice tip! I need to start applying this to my life as most of the time, I will do the activity I put down to do and then I will be open towards watching some dumb crap on youtube. Staying busy with something takes time away from doing that. Good realization!

Thanks & best 

Jason

[hemonkey]

Oh flip! It has been a week since I last posted ever! 😮

Well, this is what I've been working on:

• Piano Exam, online one where you record yourself playing and upload and P.S. I didn't cheat 🙂
• Use of calendar app, an app on iphone that I recommend highly instead of a to-do list. Most people give up on their to-do list everyday.
• Video with Adobe Premiere Pro, Expensive video editing software more powerful than iMovie which I used to use.

[hemonkey]

this is sad...

I have relapsed everyday for the past week. This has been my most horrendous week ever since quitting for good. I hope life gets better for me somehow in the future but for today what I did is:

• waste time
• clean the floors
• wasting more time regretting my mistakes(worst thing you could ever do in life)
• finally realizing why I am a loser today and started on some productive things

I wish I knew this younger before in elementary school but it is what it is, I was too young to understand back then.

Edited April 19, 2021 by hemonkey

[hemonkey]

I'm back!

There were several reasons I was offline for 2 months. One being that I was busy the last 2 months with vaccinations and transitioning my quarantine schedule back into the pre-pandemic non-social distancing daily tasks. I went back to my swim team and attended school in person. I also got my 2 doses of pfizer vaccine which the second one gave me fever 😞

[hemonkey]

I'm quitting again because I feel like I shouldn't be wasting my time during summer vacation. People don't live forever and I don't want to regret my life on my deathbed thinking I wasted everything. This time I want to try to convince my friends into meeting in person more like we used to before the pandemic rather than talking through discord and gaming mindlessly. I hope this will be the last time I fall into a terrible relapse again.

[Oxanasayuri]

Hi! Yup, the scariest thing is these regrets at the end of life. Wish you the power of will! You can do it 🙂

[hemonkey]

This has been 2 days since I have last written. My goal for this week will be a small goal: go to sleep before 9:30pm so I can get up early the next day to exercise and get a kick start for the day. I hope I can accomplish this goal because time is running out for me and I don't want to end up like a loser.

[hemonkey]

I could not write these past couple of days because I was very sick. It started with a sore throat but I ignored it thinking it was just a common cold(it was actually just a common cold) and I went to swim practice just to avoid boredom. It was about Thursday night that I came back from practice and a fever descended upon me. I was fatigued by the amount of exercising combined with my constant headache and I felt chills running down my spine literally. I later got a fever of 102 degrees and took some tylenol to reduce body temperature so I could at least sleep a few hours in the night. The following day I went to test for COVID and luckily I was negative. I was so relieved by this news but I need to be more careful around people now since everything is reopening.

[hemonkey]

9/29/2021

Lost track of time since I last watched a gaming video or anything of the type. I moved to a new city and now have busied myself with everything and have no time to think about gaming maybe on the weekends but the reason I did not write was because I was under stress from adjusting to a new environment and new school. As of now I am more comfortable with living in the new city and I still stay in touch with some of my old friends.

[hemonkey]

After almost 2 years, I'm back. Today was me mostly doing chores and making a video for fun. I have since made many friends and am no longer a video game addict. Happy to get my life back.

 

Edited August 27, 2023 by hemonkey

[wheatbiscuit]

This video had everything, man! I especially liked the animal close-ups, scenery and of course, the music. It reminded me of when I first watched killfrog videos back in 2004/2005. I found it refreshing after all the serious stuff I've watched on Youtube lately. 😂👌

[marquislemal]

I forgot the password to my old hemonkey account so this is my new account. I know it’s been a long time but I decided to come back to write on how I’ve been. Over the past year, I went through a lot of hardship and struggle in school and my swimming career. I had to deal with lot of academic challenges like homework and exams and especially tough teachers because my high school was one of those schools that you had to test into. This resulted in my relapsing hard into gaming and I would end up playing on my Nintendo switch on weekends until the battery ran out. My gaming addiction worsened as summer vacation came along but I managed to cure it which I will discuss later.

My swimming journey was no easier. I went through a lot of struggles such as not improving even with a hellish amount of training but I also had my happier days when I did improve by a second or two. Just a couple days ago, I was watching the Olympics and one of the swimmers Adam Peaty who held the world record in the 100-meter breaststroke lost and got 2nd place. After the race, he was in tears because before the race he had to deal with depression and the usual rigorous training. I sympathize with him because I also have to train 4+ hours a day in the summer and I also got a little depressed here and there. So many times I wanted to quit but when I saw my teammates persevering beside me, I was too ashamed to give up. Swimming is no easy sport and it has brought me pain but also growth along the way.

Now just recently, I was one of the few on my team to qualify for the Futures championship in Austin, Texas. It was just the four of us, three guys and one girl along with our coach. This was supposed to be the culmination of my entire summer’s efforts, but all I received in return was disappointment. Again, I made no progress and even did worse than the races I competed in the beginning of summer. I was filled with anger and resentment towards swimming and right now I think to myself if I really want to continue or not. The good news is, I managed to have fun with my teammates and most importantly, I cured my video game addiction. Over the entire week, I had no access to my computer nor my Nintendo switch so it was basically a detox for me. When I came back on Sunday, I opened my computer to play my usual go-to games but after just a few minutes, I was bored and disgusted. Life is like the tides, sometimes we have our glorious years and sometimes there is nothing but darkness. One thing I am thankful for is that I am finally free from video game addiction. 

[marquislemal]

Not really much going on here. Today is the last swim practice I have for the summer before a two week break. I am glad that I can finally take a break from swimming because I have been fatigued and stressed the entire first half of 2024. Yesterday I was playing soccer barefoot and sprained my toe. I hope it gets better soon.

One problem now I face without gaming addiction is that I have too much free time. It’s definitely a better thing than having time wasted on gaming but I still need to find a way to fill the time gap with something meaningful before another addiction takes over my life like social media scrolling. 

[hemonkey]

I got my password back so I can get on my main now. This morning I went to an intrasquad meet hosted by my swim team for little kids so I was a timer there helping out. I then had delicious fish tacos for lunch. After eating lunch I was exhausted because the taco combo had too much fat and carbohydrates. I tried to fall asleep but couldn't so now I'm sitting at my computer trying to write something down for my daily journal instead of scrolling through Instagram. Later I plan to do some cleaning around the house and then go ice skating with my friend.

[hemonkey]

Today I started by cleaning all the tables in my house. I then played some piano including two songs that I have not touched in two years. After that, I went for a walk in the park and it was too hot so I came back home. I went to church in the afternoon and here I am lying down on my couch writing this before dinner time. I really feel like life has slowed down for me without video games and social media. It kind of feels like how I used to spend my day when I was very young when there were not that many distractions. Overall, I believe that I am on the right path because I feel happier and less stressed now. I sleep a lot better and just feel a lot more calmer and my attention span has gotten longer. For the next few months I plan on talking to more people especially in school and my swim team about my new life and hopefully I can get a girlfriend because I have two years of high school left and I want to fully experience the typical high school life before it is gone forever.

[hemonkey]

Now it's been 2 weeks since I stopped playing games entirely. My life has been pretty boring so far because time passes slowly without playing video games. Today I started my day by cooking breakfast and doing a light morning yoga. I then went to the library to study for the SAT. Then, I went for a light swim at my local swim center because my swim team is taking a two-week break.

Now with so much free time, I try to fill up my time with other meaningful activities like playing the piano or exercising. I also try not to look at my phone as much as I can and try not to scroll through instagram.

[hemonkey]

Today I woke up and immediately took my provisional driver's test and barely passed. Many of the problems were very tricky and I had to guess on some of the problems. Luckily, I passed so I am very thankful for that. Then, I went to Costco to do shopping and then I went swimming with my friend. Right now I feel very lazy because I just achieved my goal of getting my driving permit but I must find things for myself to do before I relapse into gaming or get addicted to social media.

[hemonkey]

On Wednesday I went to Disneyland with my friend. We went to basically every ride except Indiana jones and in the end after 14 hours of walking and waiting in line my feet were no longer functional. On Thursday I rested the whole day because of how tired I was. Friday I went to the DMV for a walk in appointment to get my learners permit and it took me about three hours which was fairly quick because there was not a lot of people in line that day. Saturday it was just a normal day for me doing some chores and today I started the day with a three mile run. Ever since I went to Disneyland I have been fatigued every day. I get close to nine hours of sleep per day but I still feel tired throughout the day and constantly need to take naps. I hope I’m okay. Tomorrow school starts for me again.