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Codepant's Journal


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Still here, been journaling in my paper journal which has been nice.

I'll be getting a new supervisor at work which I'm super happy about, the last one made me want to quit. Just two more group meetings with him and then I'm FREEEEEEEEE

which is also how I felt when I broke up with lady friend, interestingly enough. That's going okay. She still tries to dump on me. I'm getting better at saying no, which really bothers her. She's still trying to find a therapist she likes. I hope she does. She deserves someone who listens. I just can't be that person for her anymore.

Bike part prototype V2 comes in the mail tomorrow!!!

Also, I applied for a job just for giggles. Turns out they only hire people who are fully licensed but they encouraged me to apply once I get my license. I printed out the exchange and taped it on my wall next to my monitor. Motivation to slug through my current job...

Did all my habits yesterday. Also bleached and died my hair. I had a pro do it last time but wanted to see if I could do it myself. It turned out an 8/10 I'd say, not bad for my first time. And hair grows, so I can always try again. It was a lot of work though, so I might just do streaks from now on.

More when there's more.

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Hello world, 10 days in and apparently it's time to start journaling. Why I'm Quitting I'm sure it's common to question whether one is actually "addicted" to games. That's where I am right n

Any addictive behaviour is a substitute for real suffering. Acknowledging and exploring the dark places of your past and your own soul might feel bad but it is necessary to grieve in order to live the

Feeling pretty good today. Day 7 of attempt number whatever. Did all my habits yesterday. Rode to Trader Joe's today to pick up chicken nuggets for my roommate, they were out. Also got some other stuf

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Woof, been a while. Still game-free by my rules (allowing games with friends in limited quantities, primarily Tabletop Simulator).

Bike part prototype -- now on version 4. Works great. I mean, fits great. The plastic version is obviously not load-bearing, so I haven't ridden on it. But I will order the steel version soon! Just have to decide which vendor -- one that speaks a little better English for $20 more, or one that's been kind of a pain to save $20. Both are based in China. To 3D print steel in the US is hella expensive.

Billed 21 hours last week! It was indeed that I just didn't have enough intakes. Which makes me even more upset with my supervisor. But, I am getting a new supervisor. It's still an old dude who is rather patriarchal but at least he listens, unlike my last one. I might be able to survive this job after all.

Also, I saw an ad for what is essentially my dream job, and applied. They can't hire me because I have a training license, but they were enthusiastic and encouraged me to apply once I'm licensed. So that's been motivating, too. I printed out the e-mail chain and put it on the wall behind my desk at home.

Oh, so I'll probably actually make money this month, for the first time since starting grad school 2 years ago.

Still looking for a place to move to escape the ex. We're okay, it's just normal roommate stuff. Mostly she leaves her stuff everywhere, and there's only one bathroom. All things considered it's actually not that bad, I've had WAY worse roommates. I did find one place that has storage on the ground floor (so I wouldn't have to carry my bike up the stairs) but they don't allow dogs above 55 lbs, and a fully grown male golden will be more like 70. I don't have a golden yet, but I want one soon. So, the hunt continues...

I'm on day 26 of game-free. I know I'm likely to have a breakdown around day 31 or 33. If I can make it one more week (to next Saturday) I'll be on day 33. So I just have to make it to next Sunday to break my record. Maybe I can make it to 90 this time.

Also, I had a sleep study and turns out I have sleep apnea. Because I'm actually busy at work now (...) I can't pick up the CPAP machine until next Friday, but with luck, I should be sleeping better than ever next weekend. I also started with a new psychiatrist and thus a new med which... well, too soon to tell. It certainly helps me fall asleep.

I've also exercised 9 of the past 10 days and eaten leafy greens 8 of the past 10 days. I've been reading more, too. I have dropped mindfulness, uke, and studying, so I want to try and pick those back up. Mindfulness first, I think, because I have been more anxious lately.

Also, someone matched me on Tinder. Finally. I know I'd have better luck if I wasn't polyamorous, as that scares a lot of people away (quick Google search: only 4-5% of the US is explicitly poly). But I want to match with people who like me for me. And now I have.

So, lots and lots of changes in just the past two weeks -- less than that.

Gotta go, roommate wants to use the office for her therapy, so I need to get the exercise bike ready.

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