C_tail

DAY # - 11/12 Time I woke up:11:00pm Time I went to sleep yesterday: 02:00am Physical task: Day 11 (running) / Day 12(Tennis 2hours) Mental task: Finished my book the Kingpin (day 11/12) Projects: Finding a room to live Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ Finished a book ~ Tennis ~ Decided what I'm going to do for college next year Summary of Day #:11/12 I had a lot of physical complains last 2 days, my tremor was present a good chunck of the time which made me quite hopeless. However I did a lot of work, I again finished a 300 page book - The kingpin - which was quite good. I managed to control the hours I play poker and I did my sport. Also I had a chat with my parents about what I'm doing next year, I'm still going to college however I'm not taking all courses. Just the 3 hardest courses that will make it possible for me to get my degree the year after this year. I can focus on my health this year an Today I will focus on: - Healthy eating Edited Tuesday at 01:02 AM by C_tail

Good luck with your journey. Very nice that you are learning Python; this sure isn't time waste. If you make an algo trading bot it might be easier and cheaper to test it out on cryptocurrency, fees are normally a lot less there.

DAY # - 10 Time I woke up:12:00pm Time I went to sleep yesterday: 02:30am Physical task: I played tennis Mental task: Finished my book *the choise* and started a new book American Kingpin from Nick Bilton Projects: Finding a room to live Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ Finished a book ~ 10.000 steps Summary of Day #:10 I waked up at 12pm because I got stuck reading my book last night even though I was tired. I watched the new episode of Lovercraft Country and had breakfast. I played for 1.5 hours poker and went to my friend to play some Tennis. After the tennis we went to a bar and in the evening we had some American Pizza from the Pizzahut. Normally I always sleep over but I felt so tired that I went home. Home I started reading a new book American kingpin from Nick Bilton. It's about the start of the Silk road; a website where you could buy drugs anonymously. I never knew I was this passionate about reading. I felt tired a lot today, I hate those feelings. I take care of myself a lot more then 10 days ago, I shower every day, brush my teeths, I have been mentally and socially engaging,... but I still feel like my brain is foggy. I wish this physical signs improved. When reading; I feel like my eyes are heavy and watered, sometimes it even feels like how people describe dyslexy; however the feeling I have is more all-embracing. I experience those feeling almost the whole day. I also made my mind up about what I'm going to do for college next year. I will do my remaing courses, that are 3 hard courses :math, programming math and physiques, without passing these I have restrictions the next year to get my degree. However I won't be preoccupied the whole time with school and still have a lot of time to work at myself and even see if I can fix my physical symptoms. Also I can focus on my passion; poker a bit more. I feel a lot of pressure when I'm at home right now. My father doesn't talk to me and I feel targetted a lot. There is huge tension all the time. That's the main reason why I want to move the house. Tomorrow I will focus on: - Having a long poker session +- 6 hours of grinding - My mate will probably come over to play some tennis - Talk with my mom about doing 3 courses this year - Reading the rest of respawn.

DAY # - 9 Time I woke up: 11:00pm Time I went to sleep yesterday: 03:30am Physical task: Nonetoday Mental task: Readed 100pages and did some poker Projects: Finishing the book Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ I read 100 pages ~ Ran deep in WCOOP 135/+-5.000 people Summary of Day #:9 I read like 2 hours today and then mostly played poker - sunday is THE day for poker - I ran really deep in a tournament and busted after 9hours of playing. I did felt really tired at the end of the day, a little bit to much. Right know I'm going to take a bath for 30 minutes and afterwards finishing the last 100 pages of my book. 😃 Tomorrow I will focus on: - Doing something really physical, probably play tennis for 2hours if my mate is not up I will go run - Clearing my mind which college room I'm going to take for next year. (I def want to move out the house)

DAY # - 8 Time I woke up: 10:00am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 02:00am (didn't slept untill 4:00 am due to musquitos) Physical task: Went bowling Mental task: Readed a book, helped shopping / sending mails Projects: Reading book the choise Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ I read 120 pages ~ 8 days without gaming ~ Didn't watch porn for 1 week! ~ Set very strict boundaries Summary of Day #:7 and 8 I didn't had time to write about my day yesterday, I slept with my nephew. We had some fun bowling and hanging out. I also taked care of some emails I had to answer. I also searched for a studio/ college-home for now I have one offer; it doesn't include a little private kitchen; it worries me a bit cause I need my privacy. On day 8 I waked up and helped my nephew with his dishes. I went back home eat and played poker for like 2 hours. After that I mostly read my new book: ''The choice by Edith Eva Eger''. It's a book about a girl who went the Autswitsch, but it's so much more then that, she helps open your mind to positive thinking, get out of depression and bad habits I would recommend this to anyone!!!'' I watched the games Belgium - Denmark, played poker untill 01:00am showered and right know I'm going to read a bit 😜 I'm really happy with this first week. I made some good progress and feel so much more productive. The things I struggle the most right know is choosing if I will go to college next year or take a year off to work at my health and or do like a bit of the courses in University. Over and out!

DAY # - 6 Time I woke up: 11:30pm Time I went to sleep yesterday: 03:00 Summary of Day #: Today I waked up, drived to a sandwich store for breakfast. I had a meeting with my coach which went fine. I'm still not quite sure if I want to sign-up again for college this year... Tomorrow however I will look-up more college rooms and process the information that the coach gave me. I finished my book: Tell me that I'm ok (about perfectionism). I played pokers for a few hours to then go meditate before dinner. I spended some time with my family I wanted to go for a walk but we didn't had a flashlight. I found a new book to read: De keuze (the choice) from Edith Eva Eger it's about Autswitsch. Day didn't felt bad but I missed my movement. Tomorrow I will focus on: - Stretching exercises - Processing some information the coach gave me - Dong some social activity with a friend What I am grateful for today: ~ French fries ~ Good new book ~ My coach Over and out! [edit] I think I failed the no-porn challenge, a crush on Instagram fucked me over... on the bright side it isn't porn ... right?

Thanks for the concerns. Poker isn't bad for me, I'm doing it for a few years to make some $. I'm paying my college and college-room with it. I take it very seriously and it's a big passion from me. If I would see that it interacts with my my (social) activities / keeping rythm , for example, I will consider quitting. Right now I'm very happy that I stopped gaming and I am been productive again. What do u suggest when going out for a drink? Alcohol in bars is inevitably in my circle of friends. When I drinked home this week it was also 1 glass of wine. Thanks for the suggestion for stretching exercises, I will focus on that activity tomorrow. I added your book in my - must reads -

I loved how you compared gaming to reading a book. I think that gaming can lead to less imagination, fantasy and even dreaming. Reading a book can really help to get some of these connections back I feel. Good luck with your jouney!

DAY # - 5 Time I woke up: 12:00pm Time I went to sleep yesterday: 02:30am Physical task: Walked 10.000 steps in the forest Mental task: Long conversations with family and 1hour of meditation Projects: Searching a good book to read Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ 5 days in without any games ~ 10.000 steps ~ 1 hour of meditation Summary of Day #:5 I waked up a little to late (again), tomorrow I will wake up at 11 am. However I started the day pretty good, made some healthy breakfast. Did like 2 hours of poker, cleaned my room, did dishes. Also I did 1 hour of meditation - the longest ever for me - It went good and I felt quite relaxed however my neck-tremor was present the hole time which made it difficult to sit still. After dinner I had some long conversation with my family, probably I will move out soon (2months) so I can be more independent and can focus more on the things I want. Quite scare though the last time I lived alone, I locked myself up and was such a zombie. I'm not quite sure which book I will read, right now im finishing a book about perfectionism. 5 days in with no porn also, this seems harder for me then no-gaming at some times. What I am grateful for today: ~ A warm shower ~ Red wine Tomorrow I will focus on: - Doing something social. - Finishing my book and finding another one. - 10 minutes meditation

DAY # - 4 Time I woke up: 11:15am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 02:00am Physical task: Went on a bike trip +- 23km Mental task: Made some tomato's in the oven + learned some GTO Projects: Quit gaming + I want to read a book IDK which though Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ 22 km bike ~ Social activity, I did 3 bars ~ Learned some GTO strategy ~ 4 days without porn Summary of Day #: Today was a pretty good day. I waked up at 11:30 am, a bit late, but I started my day immediatelly good by baking some tomato's with parmezan, herbs and toast - baked in the oven. A variant and good start of my day. I then went to study some game theory optimal strategy for poker and bought GTO+. Which I runned some solves on. I played poker for +- 3 hours and had a pretty good session. I called a friend if he wanted to do something and we went for a bike trip for 22km, where we stopped at some bars. I enjoyed myself, however I didn't felt quite fully myself due to some tiredness I can't explain. I really hope this will improve. I find it really hard to relax myself and skipped my meditation yesterday aswell. I really struggle to relax myself in any activity beside sleeping / meditation. I want to focus on meditation tomorrow, ideally I wished there was some park like in Paris where I could sit and meditate with people around me, however I think people will call me mad if I do this at my hometown. I will focus tomorrow on meditating for 1 HOUR - IDK where yet, but probably just in my room. Also I want to get some volume in poker, I want to play atleast 5 hours of tomorrow and might play some WCOOP tournaments in the evening. I want to go to bed before 2 am again and if possible even earlier (if I don't run deep in tournaments). This is my 4th day that I'm not wasting my time at any unproductive gaming or / porn and I'm quite more happy. As I'm writing this and relax in my bed my head starts shaking - tremor - this is a release from the build stress and business I experienced today I guess. I will take it. Where I will focus on tomorrow - 1 hour of deep meditation - Searcing a book that I will read, suggestions welcome!! What I am grateful for today: ~ The sun that was present on the bike ride ~ The girls that are beautifull in the bars 😜 ~ My passion for poker ~ That I started this If someone reads this thank you! And I will love to hear your thoughts. Cheers,

DAY # - 3 Time I woke up: 12:00 Time I went to sleep yesterday: 06:00 Physical task: Walked 10.000 steps in nature + cleaned my car Mental task: !! I will cook something healthy in the midday tomorrow! Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ 10.000 steps ~ By ritme is a lot better then yesterday ~ Didn't felt bored today ~ 3 days without porn 😮 Summary of Day #3: I waked up at 12:00 pm, my sister, my sister insisted me that we will watch the new episode of Lovecraft Country. It was a decent episode, however I don't know how I feel about the way they serie portray every white men as the stereotype of a super racist and contradictionally every black men as an example of broad-minded and pioneering for that specific time. I played 1 hour of poker and finally cleaned my car which my dad was asking me for a few weeks. Then I walked 10.000 steps, ate, had a meeting with friends online about planning a trip to Spain, played like 3 tournaments and went to bed about 1.30 am. Tomorrow - I will wake up at 10:00 pm, changing my ritme again 2 hours. - I will search something healthy on Youtube and make it in the midday - I might do something social /and or do my 10.000 steps. What I am grateful for today: ~ That I didn't felt any boredom ~ The nature ~ The trip that I'm planning to spain Cheers,

DAY # - 2 Time I woke up: 12:00pm Time I went to sleep yesterday: 03:00am Physical task: Guilty again... tomorrow I will do 10.000 steps!! Mental task: Studied 4 hours of GTO Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ Watched 3 hours of GTO play Summary of Day #2: I woked up at 12 pm and I tried to study, didn't felt any motivation whatsoever and decided to go nap... woked up at 4 am and decided that I won't do my exam and will see next schoolyear if I will try school again. I watched some stupid videos on Youtube videos for some hours *about indian scammers that are been trolled*. After watching all those vids I felt pretty useless and shit. I kinda wanted to go play on my PS4. I didn't, what I did was starting learning some more about GTO (Game theory optimal play of Poker) and started playing some cash games. (!! poker for me is one of the few things that I love doing and I'm making good money with it for some years) I however played to long untill 5 am, might be because I wasn't tired (cause I napped 2 much). I also meditated for 10 minutes. Tomorrow I will focus on: - Physical task: Atleast 10.000 steps - Sleeping patern: Wake up at 12:00pm - and go to bed at 00:00 am. What I am grateful for today: ~ The great game of Poker ~ The support of Amphibian220,

DAY # - 1 Time I woke up: 11:30pm Time I went to sleep yesterday: 06:15AM(I read 45 pages of respawn) Physical task: Not really did any physical tasks today due I fell asleep at one of my mediations at 04:00 pm Mental task: I started learning again for an exam for school; organisation management Projects: Passing my exam of organisation management Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ Started to somehow grab my books from school ~ Didn't game or feel the urge ~ Put my PS4 on Ebay including scuff, all games ~ Closed my own discord group Summary of Day #:1 I yesterday in the night decided that I really wanted to stop once and for all. Untill 6 AM I was reading about ways to accomplish this and planning for this challenge. Due that I went to sleep late, I also waked up late 11:30pm. I didn't felt any urges to game. I checked if someone allready reacted to my ps4 on ebay. - I putted it on there yesterday - saddly no-one reacted yet, I allready thought about dropping the price. I really want it out of the house for now. I started to learn for my last exam that will take place this monday. I don't know of starting again fulltime with school is the best solution. I'm quit scared that learning will make me feel unhappy, again I have a lot of concentration issues which are making me feel tensed and unhappy. I don't want to feel stucked learning all day while I'm locked-up. After 1.5 hours of learning I decided to nap for 20 minutes which became 2 hours. In the evening I learned a bit more and also watched a movie with my family named Wildlings. It was a decent movie.I also reseted my ps4 account to make it completely ready for sale. What I am grateful for today: ~ Good food as dinner: cauliflower with cheesesauce ~ Good conversation I had with one of my mates ~ Some hours where I didn't felt stressed 1 thing where I will focus on tommorow: - Meditation Oh yeah one more thing: I also quitted porn from yesterday.

Good luck, and gratz on your 10 days!

Hi! I recognize myself in quit a bit of your symptoms; chronic fatigue, deep depression, adrenal fatigue. Good to hear; u see some hope in your current treatment. It's hard when feeling like this the whole time and there seems no escape. One thing is sure though; gaming won't accomplish anything to chase your dreams. I Good luck and all the best!