The Person I want to be

[Icandothis]

Hi my friend,

 

You are being held and supported. I talked with a connection of mine who is also a therapist. She said one of the top things people struggle with is connection. I mean look at this... we are staring at screens trying to have some type of friendship with one another!! It’s crazy. 
 

I hope you can find someone in real life who sees you and supports you. My therapist has been amazing. A good therapist will hold space for you... and provide a safe environment for all your emotions to come out. 
 

Wish I could give you a real hug... but I guess a virtual one will have to do. You are loved and not alone my friend. 

[Sashiku]

On 2/7/2020 at 4:03 PM, BooksandTrees said:

I'm sorry your mom is not feeling well. Maybe there is a way for you to find a place outside to spend time at and get used to being out of your room. You could go to a coffee shop and draw and just get free water if you don't want to buy coffee or food. I've found yoga studios to be very inviting for people with anxiety and discomfort leaving their homes. Maybe you're not a rabbit at all and not needing to be a cat. I think just experimenting around different hobbies and places can have you find out you're a dog and you weren't comfortable being a rabbit (you don't sound comfortable at the moment) and aren't meant to be a cat.

I will try to get out more. I think this whole lack of friends thing is really bogging me down. I have barely been going to workouts lately. Also there aren't any active Yoga studios I can afford that I know of. There is only one, and its private and expensive. No workout places either. We have one at the apartment complex but I am usually there alone. That is why I have to start saving every dime to move. Small towns are nice, but I think I need larger ones, even if I hate to admit that. Also my Dad has been stressing me out too, saying he is gonna drop in randomly. I told him off for that. He lives 2 and a half hours away so *dropping in* is NOT a good idea.

I don't like dogs so I hope I am not one. XD But I get what you are saying. I have been working constantly on myself for the past 2 years, I am really tired. Maybe I need a break.

[Sashiku]

On 2/8/2020 at 1:35 AM, Icandothis said:

Hi my friend,

 

You are being held and supported. I talked with a connection of mine who is also a therapist. She said one of the top things people struggle with is connection. I mean look at this... we are staring at screens trying to have some type of friendship with one another!! It’s crazy. 
 

I hope you can find someone in real life who sees you and supports you. My therapist has been amazing. A good therapist will hold space for you... and provide a safe environment for all your emotions to come out. 
 

Wish I could give you a real hug... but I guess a virtual one will have to do. You are loved and not alone my friend. 

I had a friend in real life, two actually, but even they ditched me for games. I am going back to therapy myself, but idk how good mine is. Virtual hugs are always welcomed. ❤️

[Sashiku]

On 1/30/2020 at 5:24 PM, Erik2.0 said:

Super nice pics of Colorado. I was wondering if you have any YouTube recommendations for getting better at drawing/drawing anime. 😄

Thanks. 🙂 Sorry for not getting back to you for a bit. Things have been kinda all over the place. Hm, I don't watch any one youtube for tutorials, I tend to search for tutorials and just go with the one I like the best or find the most comprehensive.

On 1/30/2020 at 8:46 PM, seriousjay said:

OMG those pics. Wow!!!

Thanks. ^^

[Sashiku]

On 2/7/2020 at 2:35 PM, Alexanderle said:

I can totally relate to you. Even yesterday, I also was quite down, I wrote about it in my journal. But despite that, I will not give up. This is a process, a long way, and you should continue to follow this path. Don't give up! Here is the thing that could help you. You are afraid of outside. Afraid of the things, which are out there. They are outside of your comfort zone. I can relate to that. It is the same situation for me. But what I am doing is this. I don't just crash my comfort zone and reach the point, where it becomes scary. Those advices like: Go in a bar and approach ten strangers... They are bullshit. You should not do anything that is outside of your comfort zone. At least not, where things are scary. 

People think that it is like this. But that is not correct. Instead, there are several layers surrounding your comfort zone. You should not tackle those layers, which are basically trivial, like ordering a croissant instead of a baguette at the backery, nether should you go out and ask ten strangers for their telephone number. You should focus on this area in between, where things are exciting. Something you are juuuust capable to do. For me right now is to go to fitness classes on a regular basis. This is already a win, since I am outside. Basically, just leaving your appartment and having the goal of trying to smile here and then. Or trying to add one additional sentence to your usual routine. Whatever it is, how small it might me. Try to do it until it is not out of your comfort zone anymore. Now you can build upon that. Layer by layer. Overall, there is only one thing that you should be afraid of: Being in the same situation, where you are now in one year. Slowly expand your comfort zone. Just like I am trying. It is possible. I am a true beliver of that. 🙂 And I believe in you!

Maybe you are right. I shouldn't expect myself to change everything all at once and especially not by doing dangerous things. Maybe I should just start slowly and change something doable but not too easy either.

[BooksandTrees]

4 hours ago, Sashiku said:

I will try to get out more. I think this whole lack of friends thing is really bogging me down. I have barely been going to workouts lately. Also there aren't any active Yoga studios I can afford that I know of. There is only one, and its private and expensive. No workout places either. We have one at the apartment complex but I am usually there alone. That is why I have to start saving every dime to move. Small towns are nice, but I think I need larger ones, even if I hate to admit that. Also my Dad has been stressing me out too, saying he is gonna drop in randomly. I told him off for that. He lives 2 and a half hours away so *dropping in* is NOT a good idea.

I don't like dogs so I hope I am not one. XD But I get what you are saying. I have been working constantly on myself for the past 2 years, I am really tired. Maybe I need a break.

I think it might be beneficial to find an apartment in a town with maybe 10-20k people living there. I did that and enjoy it. There's enough to do and it's not crowded like a major city of 50k-1m+ people. Are there any online exercise things you can try?

[Icandothis]

On 2/9/2020 at 10:14 AM, Sashiku said:

I had a friend in real life, two actually, but even they ditched me for games. I am going back to therapy myself, but idk how good mine is. Virtual hugs are always welcomed. ❤️

Well then sending virtual hugs today. 💙💙💙💙

[Sashiku]

On 2/9/2020 at 4:41 PM, BooksandTrees said:

I think it might be beneficial to find an apartment in a town with maybe 10-20k people living there. I did that and enjoy it. There's enough to do and it's not crowded like a major city of 50k-1m+ people. Are there any online exercise things you can try?

I live in a town of 15,000 people. I have really enjoyed it as well... But I am a minority in more than 4 ways. I want to move to a larger city so I won't be so alone. Also a larger city means I will have a lot more things to do. I have a workout routine already, I just lack the will to workout alone half the time. I always had a workout partner in highschool and she always kept me motivated and I in turn helped her stay motivated.

[BooksandTrees]

You doing ok?