I am back again and again... the endless circle

[cordharel 37]

I have been here before. I have been at this point in my life so many times before.

I want to quit games. Again. I wanted to do it so many times before. I always went back.

I just installed Ubuntu Linux on my gaming pc after going out with a friend and drinking tequilla. Yes yes, tequilla sometimes helps to make some decisions!

What? I had steam running in windows and was still needed to finish ELEX? And what about those 690 games in my steam library? 

Fuck that shit. 

I really want to do it but I don't know if I am able to.

Lord of the Tux, please help me!

I am so interested in artificial intelligence (AI) and machine learning. Please please if I only knew about AI what I do about gaming I'd be the king!

No party this time just the cold truth. 

Yes I am addicted to games. It's not harming my life that much but then again it's not making me happy. I am 33 now with a beloved daughter and at the end of my field of study in IT. I can do it with gaming, no doubt. 

But gaming does make me sad. 

Cam says it in his mails. I think I could become so much more without gaming. 

But am I able to do it? 

Only time will tell.

I really really would love to.

Really!

[Laney 271]

You don't need to have a different reason for quitting than yours. I want you to be so much more, too!

What does so much more mean? What do you think lies waiting for you in the world to learn, to experience and to affect?

[Cam Adair 5,009]

Welcome back! 

[Soap 19]

1 hour ago, Laney said:

You don't need to have a different reason for quitting than yours. I want you to be so much more, too!

I agree with this! And the fact is there is so much more to life than just gaming!

5 hours ago, cordharel said:

But am I able to do it? 

Only time will tell.

I really really would love to.

I personally don't think it's time that will tell. It's you! You have control over your life, your decisions and what you're going to do. Don't think otherwise. We humans have free will, sheep don't... they all just run off cliffs together! Don't run off a cliff! Run through your walls, barriers, problems and fears!

I wish you best of luck and hope 'more' whatever it is will be found by you!

[WorkInProgress 1,695]

Welcome back. I hope you keep sharing ehre even if you haven't drunk tequila! Best of luck. If you'll need help or feedback feel free to ask. As you see we are a pretty active forum these days and I am sure we can find solutions together.

[cordharel 37]

Hey guys thank you all!

I try to go through the forum but I can't spend too much time on my computer as I have a little girl (Baby Lea!) and she is super cute and 18 months old 

Well I would love to get a new PASSION because gaming used to be my passion for the whole life. But right now I just want to focus on not playing. I can still see about passion in the future, nothing really super-interests me right now.

I am currently unsubscribing all my gaming newsletters and youtube subscriptions. 

But installing Linux was probably the best decision ever to get away from my evil beloved Steam library!

Edited December 1, 2017 by cordharel

[thehondasc00py 212]

On 11/29/2017 at 11:29 PM, cordharel said:

But am I able to do it? 

Yes!

Here's the truth:

You can do anything. Just not everything.

[cordharel 37]

Hey guys a little update. I rather like to keep it short than having long texts.

So it's day 6 and I feel great. Because I installed Ubuntu Linux I never had any cravings because they would not make any sense as I can't just go onto my laptop and play Steam games.

Looool do you know what's really interesting and what I just realized? I just watched Cam's new video "ProGamer Opens up About Why He Quit Professional Gaming" I was listening BUT I was also constantly trying to switch to Steam to check out the games in the store like I used to do 1'000'000 times in Windows. Well of course it wasn't possible but I realized my behaviour. I usually watched looooots of youtube videos about gaming and while doing so I switched to Steam to search for new games that could satisfy me.

So interesting. I want to focus now on the videos only so I try to maximise them so I don't switch to another tab to look at whatever let's say reddit or 9gag.

But in real life everything is going great. I felt sooo empowered this morning and the feeling stayed the whole day till now. I did Yoga in the evening and feel great now.

Music advice: If you ever need power in any situation of your life check out GLORYHAMMER - Rise Of The Chaos Wizards

So long 

[Zala 170]

Welcome back!

[cordharel 37]

Hey all

It's day 11 and it's going good so far. Sometimes I feel... I don't know... like other people already said... maybe "empty"? But it's hard to tell as I have lots of enjoyment with my little baby daughter, still...

Today we had a couple as visitors and the husband said something like this: "Yes yes I also used to play video games in my past... but well... you know somehow they just got boring with time".

Never in my entire life have I ever felt the feeling of "oh well you know gaming just got boring when I got older" 

It's weird and fascinating that this feeling happens for some people and for others it doesn't, isn't it?

Edited December 10, 2017 by cordharel

[WorkInProgress 1,695]

Also have these friends and coulnd't understand it either. BUt well I just can't play normally or in moderation. I always binge and obsess and owuld still do if I would still game. Some peopel have healthy relationship with gaming others don't. The same goes for alkohol.

[cordharel 37]

It's day 13 and I am just a little pissed because... ahh I don't know maybe because I need to face reality and can not escape into games who knows... 

I would love to do something with Machine Learning but magically I can not find the time to spend on my computer as I have spent it when I was gaming.

[Laney 271]

Gaming was not always learning, but strategy fun social etc too. Brains can only do so much!  Don't feel so down that you can't accomplish what you think you should be able to. Life is not so easy

What can we do to fill that time then while still being productive?? Meetup.com is a great place to find things, I have many suggestions but to list all of them would be silly. Perhaps local conventions covering topics you're studying would be great as well. Or a nearby hackerspace.

Edited December 12, 2017 by Laney

[Some Yahoo 131]

Read a book. Write a book.  Start a business.  Learn to paint.  Turn that intense dedication all good gamers have into something wonderful.  Think about it. When you were sick with the flu you may have stayed home from work, but you still gamed, I'd wager.  Gamers have an intense personality type where hard learning curves and repeated failure does not deter us.  So use it.  If we put our talents into other things we'll most likely flourish.

Have you heard the Dad phrase "Anything worth doing is worth doing well"?  I hate that saying.  It implies that if you aren't immediately wonderful at something, you should not even try it.   My attitude is Anything worth doing well is worth f*cking up 10,000 times to get it right!

 

[cordharel 37]

Thank you guys.

Day 16: I might just be going crazy. My stupid ubuntu now only has sound on my left speaker and I have spent the last 3 hours trying to get it work again.

In the end Ubuntu disabled my keyboard. I needed to reinstall this thing.

Imagine a lot of swearing words in those sentences that I left out on purpose.

But hey, listen to all those IT students in my class! "Oh linux is so great, Windows sucks hard, ooohhh Linux Linux ooohhh only newbies use Windows".

I can't remember having such stupid issues with windows.  

[cordharel 37]

Okay after some more hours of installing just Java JRE and PyCharm I have learned two things today:

1. Ubuntu no!

2. Linux Mint yes!

[WorkInProgress 1,695]

16 hours ago, cordharel said:

Thank you guys.

Day 16: I might just be going crazy. My stupid ubuntu now only has sound on my left speaker and I have spent the last 3 hours trying to get it work again.

In the end Ubuntu disabled my keyboard. I needed to reinstall this thing.

Imagine a lot of swearing words in those sentences that I left out on purpose.

But hey, listen to all those IT students in my class! "Oh linux is so great, Windows sucks hard, ooohhh Linux Linux ooohhh only newbies use Windows".

I can't remember having such stupid issues with windows.  

Yeah that is sometimes the thing. It has it benefits but it can also suck dick if you don't like that admin/bare bone stuff. Linux Mint is awesome. Their are other similar beautiful and low maintenance distros like elements os or many others. Windows can be a fine choice and has some nice software developer programs. These zealots of any technology are just annyoing. For some cases some linux distros are better for some ohter cases Windows is a great choice. It is just a tool not a vengeful god people!

[cordharel 37]

Days 20

Well you know Windows for me equals Steam equal ~700 games in Steam 

I am feeling okay. Maybe the feeling of boredom slowly goes away. I will try to have a project in the upcoming holiday time and create some blog entries on my blog (it's in German so it's not for you  )

I am really looking forward for christmas I love giving away presents 

[indie_rok 13]

Hey there!

I just came to join you in the adventure of quitting video games.

I totally got your frustration about trying to quit games before, but I can do it this time! just as you are! It is really inspiring.

Thank you for sharing that.

I piece of advice, if I may:

Quote

I will try to have

Don't try.

Do or do not there is no try.

Just as Yoda said.

If you say try, you are inconsistently setting barriers for yourself, witch they should not be there.

Start the protect. Write in your blog.

But do it.

Those are the first steeps to create strong confidence.

See you around!

[cordharel 37]

Hey all just giving a quick update... It's new years eve and nothing is going on as my wife just went to bed with the baby while outside people are shooting rockets into the sky :-)

I am here at my computer just relaxing and doing stuff like learning a little python and surfing a little, it's totally fine.

I just wanted to say that it's my day 32 and I have a really hard time as my brain constantly tells me to play video games and everything I see makes me wanna play games. It's really really hard. My brain tells me to play let's say Tropico but I don't want to and then I get sad hmm it's hard to describe so I just say it's very hard at the moment. I think about video games and how awesome they are, living a role in a roleplaying game, exploring foreign countries, or building a city... my brain just gets all those memories from the last years and wants me to play again.  

[giblets 651]

One of the main differences with Linux and Windows - or any other OS for that matter (except for maybe beOS, though I have never tried it) - is that it is far far more customizable, which is where you are struggling to get to grips with it. Because there is so many more things you can do to it and with it - it tends to get broken a lot more easily if you don't know what you are doing. If you've always been on Windows then you're used to a carebear sandbox that won't let you break anything, but yet also wont let you realize the full potential of hardware or modern day computing. I went through the same struggles myself - jumping back and forth between Windows and Linux whenever I got frustrated with either one - until I just "sat with it" on Linux; when I was frustrated about something instead of switching back to the sandbox, I persisted and sorted the problem out. Gradually I gained more and more confidence to feel comfortable using it all of the time. Now I'm the complete reverse - I forget how customizable it is so when someone around me is complaining about a limitation or issue with their system, my response was "what do you mean you can't change that?" or "that's a new feature for you? Linux/Android has had that for years". From my experience, the proprietary systems are on average 2 years behind - I assume that is due to a combination of priorities and/or extended testing so they don't get bad press from users breaking their system, or cutting down costs of customer service having to help them "unfix" things.

 

Linux Mint is a good platform to transition from Windows as it is quite similar and is designed to be deployed on workstations - probably exactly what you're after. It's a bit too bloated for me - one of the main reasons I transitioned to Linux in the first place - probably because I have always tended to run lower end hardware.

 

Python looks really good too - check out Scratch, which I think is a great program to help you learn python.