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AlexTheGrape

My Journal - Alex

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It has been over a week since I last posted, wow! I've been studying hardcore since then, as my end of semester exams start in half a week now.

Today has been an average day of studying. I managed to do approximately 10 hours of studying today which is the best I've done, however the quality of the work done hasn't been the best. I've been doing huge chunks of work and become quite unproductive towards the end of it. Tomorrow I'll make sure to just do 1 hour sessions, which involve packing up and moving to another building to work between sessions, as this activity has kept me more alert and able to focus when I do. I'll need to work tomorrow evening so I'll likely skip my workout. I've had some gaming cravings recently because I'm so bored a lot of the time, but I think it is just something that comes along with studying so many hours with few and small breaks.

I'm looking forward to doing a skiing trip in a couple weeks time, it should be great fun!

As soon as my exams are over I think I want to start a few things like cooking fancy meals, but also getting back into programming and photography.

I'm grateful for there being so many computers around university.

I'm grateful for the amazing lunches I've been able to make myself recently.

I'm grateful for the time I have to study.

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Great job Alex! 10 hours of studying, and recognizing that each hour changing location can be a way to effectively study. Hmmmm, never thought of this. Interesting! I typically get bored, try with my sheer mental strength to push through, and find myself exhausted after an hour or so! This is a new concept and I will give it a try in the near future! Should keep studying interesting! I'm assumbing since you'd change locations every hour, there's some planning that takes place as to where you'd go every hour and you'd also pack light? 

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Great job Alex! 10 hours of studying, and recognizing that each hour changing location can be a way to effectively study. Hmmmm, never thought of this. Interesting! I typically get bored, try with my sheer mental strength to push through, and find myself exhausted after an hour or so! This is a new concept and I will give it a try in the near future! Should keep studying interesting! I'm assumbing since you'd change locations every hour, there's some planning that takes place as to where you'd go every hour and you'd also pack light? 

Thanks for the comment! Yeah I figured that this keeps it similar to going to high school, as I'd move around to get to a different class. At the end of a class students typically feel bored or tired, but when they have a walk, then sit down in a new environment and around different people, we are refreshed enough to do work on a new subject. On that note, changing the topic studied often can help too.

I thought I should plan it out, but there are about four buildings in my university I can go to to always get a space so it didn't really require planning. I did two hour sessions today whilst changing location between each one, but I should definitely do the single hours and moving tomorrow.

If you give it a go (although I believe school/university is finishing for the year in the US?) please let me know!

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Hey Alex,

I am currently taking summer class, but my Fall 2017 semester will start soon and I will need a strategy to be successful at keeping my focus and studying for some time. I typically go to Starbucks and sit there for hours and sometimes, my mind tends to drift away xD. I know for Fall 2017, this is a method I will definitely try to implement as I will be on campus alot more! :) 

Thanks for the prompt reply :) - I will let you know about my experience!

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Update:

My exams are over, and I'm free! I've been getting the chore-like things done recently like giving my room a proper cleanout, doing shopping, cooking for the family etc but it has been an engaging weekend so far. I am currently needing to set long term goals and make visualisations accordingly, as it is something that I have struggled with recently. I'll try keep posted daily, but otherwise things are going well.

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Relapse.

It embarrasses me to say it, but I've relapsed. I played 2-3 hours of gaming for about a week, and it has left me feeling terrible. It has dropped my self-worth and confidence back to new lows and I now need to get back up.

There is a long list of contributing factors to why this happened, so I'll just mention them briefly. I started spending more time with my old gamer friends, I had stopped sport (except for gyming), I had stopped posting and reflecting, I had stopped doing hobbies that I enjoyed, I worked hard during exam time with very little break time, no longer had any way to reward myself, was feeling isolated, the steam summer sale came up, and I didn't feel good after my last exam.

The main idea is: I had stopped doing all the things that made me successful over the past year since I quit gaming.

I'm not proud of myself in the slightest. After all this time going without games, people thought that I wouldn't have relapsed, even my gamer brother was disappointed. I now need to face the embarrassment, and pick myself up.

I've removed all the games from my steam account (you can do that now) and am on the road to recovery.

I've had a whole week without gaming so far (mostly because I was on a skiing trip) and I'll post soon to start my fourth 90 day detox.

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It happens man. The most important thing was that you realized what was happening before it got completely out of control and took steps to stop it.

The one big positive that you can take from this is that you experienced what a whole year without gaming is like, and when you went back to gaming, clearly it was something that you no longer felt should have any part of your life. You can move forward now knowing that for absolute certain.

I would definitely recommend finding some new hobbies to explore. If you continue to work so hard without doing anything to take a breather, you're probably going to be tempted back to games again. Clearly this is something you don't want.

Regardless, it's good that you posted about this! best wishes for you going forward!

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Don't let the disappointment derail you. You've become really self-aware of what works and what doesn't. Just don't let the emotions overwhelm you. We're all here for.you!

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Thanks for the support guys, it is important to recognize the self-awareness I've developed, and how I can use it moving forward.

I've decided on doing a bunch of activities which helped me in the past. They involve programming, playing the guitar, exercising, and a few others. I need to start writing full, regular posts as I need to do all these tasks consistently.

Today I went to an engineering firm (the biggest in NZ) to see what working there would be like, and to connect with a few people within the business. I'm confident I'd rather work in a larger engineering firm rather than a smaller one.

Tomorrow, I need to plan out my day in the morning, and ideally go to the local gym here too.

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My post for yesterday:

Today has been an easy day, mostly because I didn't do anything difficult and I didn't meet my commitments that day. This is because I wrote up a list of things I wanted to do daily, but didn't achieve most of them and wasted a lot of time watching TV with the family. Whether or not watching TV with the family is a waste of time is something of opinion, but I could definitely get us to eat at the table, talk, and then do more productive things on my own or with them.

I'm not going to bother with the detox counter because I'm confident I'll breeze through the time; I have removed all my video games from my steam library and have already gotten used to not gaming for one and a half years.

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You got this, Alex. You're one of the best of us!

Thank you Mettermrck for the support!

Fingers crossed!

Thanks Tom! 

As long as I keep posted daily, I'll keep learning and growing, so thanks again for showing your support.

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Alex I think it's a good idea to do the detox counter again. You've already accepted this as a relapse so having that there could work as a little bit of extra motivation. Human beings crave things to work towards so just having that there might be a good thing for you.

Up to you though.

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Alex I think it's a good idea to do the detox counter again. You've already accepted this as a relapse so having that there could work as a little bit of extra motivation. Human beings crave things to work towards so just having that there might be a good thing for you.

Up to you though.

You're probably right. Having the counter could help me be more aware of how much time has passed since I have gone without gaming, which will help me gauge how much I should be achieving. 

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My post for yesterday:

Today has been another OK day, I didn't manage to do meditation etc but I got started on programming again and played my guitar a little bit. I feel doing these activities will really help me keep in touch with the field I wish to pursue, even if my coursework isn't that related.

The day before yesterday I spent a lot of time to cook paella, a Spanish dish. I didn't do it all right, but I'm glad I know what I need to improve on next time.

I want to do my big post style again, but I need to put in the time and effort first. I likely won't start tomorrow as I'll be off to a birthday party, but I need to start very soon.

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You have a lot of great activities already. At least this time you won't have to figure out your hobbies.

Very true! It is easier to get back into activities than it is to start new ones.

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The day before yesterday I spent a lot of time to cook paella, a Spanish dish. I didn't do it all right, but I'm glad I know what I need to improve on next time.

Good attitude! I really need to keep that in mind. As perfectionism was a major obstacle that made me try nothing in the past.

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The day before yesterday I spent a lot of time to cook paella, a Spanish dish. I didn't do it all right, but I'm glad I know what I need to improve on next time.

Good attitude! I really need to keep that in mind. As perfectionism was a major obstacle that made me try nothing in the past.

Same here! I sometimes need someone else to hurry me as I'll be a perfectionist when it comes to preparing ingredients too. Best of luck trying those things!

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Detox Attempt IV – Day 19

Today has been a good day in general. I started off the day by getting up on time, meditating well, and giving the dog a run. I had a friend over in the morning who I played the Risk board game with, we then made pancakes for lunch.

On Sunday I went to the gym and played card games with my brother and his friends for most of the day, it was pretty fun! I then worked in the evening.

On Monday I didn’t do well with meditation, but I kept relatively busy during the day by sorting out a new stereo for my car. I made dinner in the afternoon, and I’m happy that I made something new to me.

Gratitude journal

I am grateful for having an awesome stereo.

I am grateful for having this time off.

I am grateful that the greatest of my troubles are insignificant compared to the rest of the world.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today:

Spending time making pancakes with my friend today was great in many ways. Learning a few tricks from him and trying different methods was a good bonding experience.

Workout/run

A run with the dog. Not intense, and I’ll need to do more next time.

Daily task planning ahead of time

Doing that now… Done!

Exercise planning

Tomorrow I’m heading out to the city to work out at the university gym!

Meditation

Yup!

Visualisation

Nope. I need new goals!

Daily affirmation

Nope.

Fully cold shower

No. I have been considering doing them recently, I’m going to commit to doing it tomorrow and will post how it goes.

Reading + taking notes

Nope.

Getting to bed before 10:10pm

Nope.

Jar of Awesome

Nope.

Japanese learning

Nope.

Cook a meal + Cooking journal

Yup, and not yet.

Daily application of self-development skills

Tomorrow I’ll make sure to keep conversation flowing, and using the ford method to come up with conversation topics if needed.

Programming

Nope.

Guitar playing

Nope.

Social journal

Yup.

 

Weekly Goal(s)

Don’t fail a single day of my success streak! (Sadly failed).

Get to know the neighbours in one house this week.

Monthly Goal(s)

(I have an extra weekly goal).

Old 3 Month Goal (1 month left!)

My three month goal is to develop my leadership skills enough to confidently coach a sports team or lead another form of community group.

3 Month Goal

Expand my holiday programme to a running business/be running my own community group within my neighbourhood.

Know my neighbours from at least 100 households/have them as contacts for my holiday programme.

12 Month Goal

Be running my own community group, hosting public events (more detail needed)

48 Month Goal

Have grown my holiday programme/community group to be accessible by at least half of the NZ population.

Have the skills (namely leadership) to have my options open for being an entrepreneur or having a normal job.

What went well today:

Starting my day on time and meditating.

What didn’t go well today:

General procrastination.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Plan out what I want to do the day before.

What I will do differently tomorrow:

Make my plans the day before! (Now!)

Photo Stream

This is one of my favourite photos I took on a recent skiing trip to the South Island of NZ.

DSC03258.JPG

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