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kortheo

My Journal - Travis

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Very grateful. I learned two things from the experience. One, that in situations like that where things are beyond my control (I'm just waiting for them to get it unlocked) there's no sense in worrying or panicking since I can't influence the outcome. Two, that it's okay to rely on others to help you sometimes.

Easily two of the best lessons I've learned from having them beat into me while traveling. :$

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Day 109

Went out to trivia with friends last night. It was the first social event I had had in a while that involved people I didn't know well. I've spent a decent amount of time alone lately too. As a result I'm not sure I was socially calibrated well. Someone asked me about my New Years Eve and I decided to be honest - I told them I didn't feel like going out so I just stayed in and read a book. They asked what book, I said, "well, there's this old short story horror collection that was written in the late 1800s, and it ended up being a big influence for the show True Detective which I recently watched, so I read that." Which was true. I said this in service of trying to be and open and vulnerable but I'm worrying came off as odd or pretentious.

A related note last night was that I realized how much my self-worth is based on my intellect or intelligence. This isn't news to me, but I just really noticed it last night. I felt great when I knew the answer to a trivia question for our team. I sometimes made comments that I felt might have made me look arrogant or something. Maybe the fact that I'm even thinking about this means I'm not arrogant? I'm probably overthinking this, I realize now. I'm going to blame it on my cold :P.

On an unrelated note, I've gotten back to listening to the Tim Ferriss Show podcast, and I've listened to a few eps where he talks about the Choice Minimal Lifestyle, decision fatigue, and ways to optimize using your willpower/attention/etc. This is all super interesting to me right now and relevant to my job, where I'm trying to churn through an endless to do list that requires prioritizing. Learning to focus on a single task at a time to avoid task switching, or plan ahead of time what I'm doing when so I don't have to waste energy deciding what to do next - these are great insights.

That's all for today. It's been a long week. 

Currently Reading 

  • Non-Fiction: 1) This Will Make You Smarter, 2) Introduction To Marx And Engels: A Critical Reconstruction
  • Fiction: The Name of the Wind
Gratitude
  1. Going to a social event last night.
  2. Not being too sick to function.
  3. The rain we've been having.
  4. Eating in lately and saving money.
  5. Learning how to be more efficient.

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Day 110

I had a wonderful post written up but the forum decided to go down right when I wanted to post it... so it got lost. I'll rewrite it a bit abridged.

To be honest, I haven't been feeling that great lately. I've been feeling socially anxious, awkward around coworkers, not as confident, lethargic, etc. I've felt like my posts here have been lame and uninteresting. I have a cold, but that's not the only culprit. The most likely explanation is that I haven't been good about my morning habits... particularly exercise and meditation. I haven't really done that for a week. I definitely notice the difference.

Also I've allowed my apartment to get cluttered and messy. On an episode of Mating Grounds, they talk to this guy Joe about his living space, which is all messy, trash on the floor, no great furniture. He insists that he just hasn't had time to clean or get furniture, despite living their for several months. The hosts insist that what space in which you live is a choice... he had a choice to either clean up the trash or let it sit there, and he chose to let it sit. On an unconscious level, this reflects that you think you deserve to live in whatever environment your in; otherwise, why wouldn't you fix it? Anyway, this is just to say I suppose that when I feel worse about myself, my apartment starts to get messy, and vice versa.

I did force myself to get up and exercise and meditate this morning. And it feels good. And there are other good things too... I have been really good about cooking this week, as opposed to eating out a ton, which I normally do. I'm getting better at it.

One last piece of good news. I've been waiting for months for this new brewery/gastropub to open up. It's literally a 5 minute walk for me. Finally, it's open! I had discussed the possibility of getting together with some old friends from a reddit meetup group and go hangout there. The group used to hangout a couple times a week, but it's been basically dead for a year or so. Well, I made an event for the group and invited everyone (300 people in the fb group). As of this now there's 5 confirmed and 15 "interested". I've never done this before - I've never organized an event or really displayed much leadership anywhere. So it's new to me. I'm really hoping it goes well and that everyone has a good time, and that it becomes a regular thing. It occurs to me that I could have done this at any time at another location; I don't really know why I waited for this specific one. But regardless, maybe this will be the start of something cool.

This post is actually a lot more positive than the one I wrote earlier, the one that got lost. Since then I got up and did a few productive things. I think the exercise and meditation really helped, too. When I do things that are in alignment with the ideal version of myself, I feel good. When I am lazy or fail to do those positive things that I want for myself, I feel bad, ashamed, and feel less confident. Food for thought.

Currently Reading 

  • Self-improvement: Getting Things Done
  • Non-Fiction: This Will Make You Smarter
  • Fiction: The Name of the Wind
Gratitude
  1. That Best Buy does e-waste recycling (convenient).
  2. That I've managed to reduce my mindless internet time and replace it with productive reading.
  3. That I've been cooking this week.
  4. That people are interested in my event.
  5. That this post is better than my first one :).

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Day 111

I had a realization this morning: I am terrified of criticism.

I think this was the root of why I used to lurk so much, online and in life. I overcame a certain degree of that when I started posting here, and I'm learning to be more vulnerable, but I still run into this fear in significant ways.

Yesterday, I encountered this in two ways. One, I wrote a blog post. I linked it here temporarily but deleted the post because I felt self-conscious about sharing it. I think it's because the post was critical in nature, and whenever I'm critical of anyone I always expect people to be critical back at me, even when I'm doing it in a civil and hopefully constructive way. I think I'm far too cautious to actually be offensive, ha.

Two, I spent time with a friend and suggested a specific TV show we could watch. We watched one episode but he didn't really care for it. He thought it was over-dramatic and overwrought, so we watched something else. That situation made me feel kind of mortified because ... I don't, I guess I felt embarrassed to suggest something I had watched in the past and remembered being good, and then to have him not like it... I guess the worry is that he'd think I'm weird/lame because I like something he thinks is bad. Mind you, this is one of my oldest and closest friends. I've known the guy since 1st grade. Rationally, I don't think one TV show is going to affect our relationship. Emotionally, I feel very vulnerable.

I guess it sort of feels like I have to be flawless in my relationships with others. Like if I rub them the wrong way in the slightest, everything will fall apart. 

I'd like anyone's thoughts on this... where does this come from? How do I work on it? Anyone relevant advice would be awesome.

Currently Reading 

  • Self-improvement: Getting Things Done
  • Non-Fiction: This Will Make You Smarter
  • Fiction: The Name of the Wind
Gratitude
  1. Being vulnerable in this post.
  2. Tame Impala. (the lyric "the only one that's judging you is yourself" just came out of my speakers hahah)
  3. Fleece blanket I got for Christmas.
  4. Black Mirror.
  5. Coffee shops.
Edited by kortheo

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I think this feeling might be natrual if you haven't done it much. If you can try to not beat yourself up when you write something critical.

I used to feel like this when I was learning new things, eventually I came to the conclusion that, regardless if I want to prevent something bad happening (misunderstanding, offensive jokes, etc) it will happen anyway. I dealt with this by letting go of the fear I might upset someone. If I upset someone, I know when to apologize and let go of the feeling. I suppose you could try more of a aggressive approach where you put yourself in the spotlight so to speak, perhaps getting used to it could help you to overcome the feeling.

As to where this may come from.. either we were bullied in public school to some extent or perhaps we were indoctorinated at some pont to believe mistakes are evil, they're bad bad things. When in reality, mistakes is what makes us better and near enough perfect. It seems though you read some interesting books, you're aware of the whole positivity v negativity thing, correct? :)

Con.

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As to where this may come from.. either we were bullied in public school to some extent or perhaps we were indoctorinated at some pont to believe mistakes are evil, they're bad bad things. When in reality, mistakes is what makes us better and near enough perfect. It seems though you read some interesting books, you're aware of the whole positivity v negativity thing, correct? :)

Con.

I've read a lot of stuff talking about positivity vs negativity, but could you be more specific as to what you mean?

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I've read a lot of stuff talking about positivity vs negativity, but could you be more specific as to what you mean?

 Sure! I meant in a way as negativity could be affecting some of the choices you make. I believe this is evident (correct me if I'm wrong please):

I wrote a blog post. I linked it here temporarily but deleted the post because I felt self-conscious about sharing it. I think it's because the post was critical in nature, and whenever I'm critical of anyone I always expect people to be critical back at me, even when I'm doing it in a civil and hopefully constructive way. I think I'm far too cautious to actually be offensive

The outlines are what I consider to be negative talk. And even though your intention is clearly noble there is still an itch somewhere within you that is making you think twice about posting a blog-post. I'm curious if you've kept a diary of your more recent thoughts when you engage in an activity like this, similar to CBT, it may yield some interesting results if you haven't gave it a shot already. I hope this clears up any confusion! :)

Con.

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I've read a lot of stuff talking about positivity vs negativity, but could you be more specific as to what you mean?

 Sure! I meant in a way as negativity could be affecting some of the choices you make. I believe this is evident (correct me if I'm wrong please):

I wrote a blog post. I linked it here temporarily but deleted the post because I felt self-conscious about sharing it. I think it's because the post was critical in nature, and whenever I'm critical of anyone I always expect people to be critical back at me, even when I'm doing it in a civil and hopefully constructive way. I think I'm far too cautious to actually be offensive

The outlines are what I consider to be negative talk. And even though your intention is clearly noble there is still an itch somewhere within you that is making you think twice about posting a blog-post. I'm curious if you've kept a diary of your more recent thoughts when you engage in an activity like this, similar to CBT, it may yield some interesting results if you haven't gave it a shot already. I hope this clears up any confusion! :)

Con.

Hmm, that's helpful. I guess I didn't really notice those as negative thoughts before. I could certainly try to keep a record of some of the thoughts that I'm having; I have a decent amount of experience doing CBT so that may prove helpful. I haven't done that in a while. I guess I could look at my negative/doubting thoughts and explore those and what I'm actually afraid of, explore what's the worst that could actually happen, etc.

I'll have to think on this more. Thanks for the response.

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Hey, man, being vulnerable was one of my goals with my own journal. I started it off totally anonymous and slowly started to open up. And hey, you can see my real (if three years younger) face now!

I totally get where you're coming from. On my regular blog, I often write things or think of writing things that I just can't hit Publish on. And if I do, sometimes I end up making them private after I get worried about what others might think. Hell, I have some politically-charged blog posts in my portfolio on that website that I'm self-conscious of people seeing. Though I think that's because I was brought up by someone who's on the opposite side of the political spectrum from me and she only recently became aware of that fact.

Maybe this can be a "safe place" of sorts for you, like it is for me. I feel welcome here, and I don't mind being more open here now. Some things I still keep private for personal reasons, but I'm not quite so worried about people disagreeing with me. I know a lot of us probably got here from Reddit, the greatest source of contrarianism I've ever been a part of (and the reason I don't post there often), but here, everyone's on the same page.

Congrats on staying strong and getting this far.

-David

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Hey, I hope your friend didn't shun that masterpiece that is Black Mirror! O.o

I tend to have the same issue with vulnerability. I know that for me it springs from being bullied when growing up because of my disability and nerdiness. Two words: massive bifocals.

My guess is that the reasons can be highly personal.

How do I fight it? First and foremost I don't open up much. Less than a handful of people have access to my innermost thoughts and feelings. Secondly, I constantly remind myself that we are all different and try to live every interaction as a learning experience. When I feel extremely self-conscious about something I said or done, I find comfort in thinking that in one hundred years what happened won't have any importance.

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Day 112

Group Fitness, Group Psychology

As I promised myself for my goals this week, I went to the fitness group again this morning. It was a good workout, but I felt myself having negative thoughts during it. Throughout the workout the instructors would shout encouraging phrases, and then everyone in the group would respond in a pre-determined way. Example: Coach: "Don't quit!" Everyone: "Won't quit!"; Coach: "How strong are you?" Everyone: "Stronger than yesterday!". Et cetera. They would also just say more generic things to keep us going.

My reactions to this are mixed. On the one hand, I like the group atmosphere, the positivity, the encouragement. On the other hand, I felt myself resenting them, thinking things like "You can't tell me to keep going, only I can decide what I do", or "You don't know how tired I am, or how hard I'm working, it's wrong for you to try to push me harder". In general I strongly resist the efforts of anyone to influence my behavior, especially if they don't know me well. I loathe manipulation as much as I loathe anything. No one has a right to make choices for me. Obviously in this case their intentions were good, and I'm not actually blaming them for anything, but I just think it's important for me to note my reactions. I think I have a problem letting go of control and allowing myself to go with the flow and be part of a group (or let go of control in any environment, really). I've always been someone on his own, who thinks for himself and does what he thinks is best, who doesn't fit in for the sake of fitting in. Another part of my resentment could come from just being so unfamiliar with a positive atmosphere... I don't know if this makes sense, but having been in cynical environments a lot, the positivity is almost threatening, because it forces me to recognize how not-positive I'm used to being.

I guess because of my attitude being what it is, and having struggled being isolated or not socially successful during a lot of my life, it's a perfectly normal reaction to have when I am finally joining a group and trying to fit in. Maybe it's a thing I just have to process. Because the thing is - I like going to this group. The people are all very friendly and cool. I even met a cute girl there today. There are definite pluses. Maybe I need to grow a bit here, let down my guard, and just go with the flow sometimes. If nothing else, I will continue to learn about myself from putting myself in a situation with which I'm unfamiliar and not totally comfortable.

Currently Reading 

  • Self-improvement: Getting Things Done
  • Non-Fiction: This Will Make You Smarter
  • Fiction: The Name of the Wind
Gratitude
  1. Talking with a cute girl today.
  2. Getting through the workout without feeling faint of exhausted like last week.
  3. Slow-cooking pulled pork.
  4. Getting chores done.
  5. The social events I have lined up this week :).

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Day 113

I've been focusing on personal productivity lately. Specifically, I'm using Evernote and implementing The Secret Weapon. It is pretty awesome. Keeping in mind Zenhabit's idea of single-tasking, I'm already notably more focused and productive. Now I just need to finish reading Getting Things Done.

Still getting over my cold, and I don't feel too hot at the moment... might leave work early. We'll see.

Been better at sticking to my habits. Not really too much else to report at the moment. Tomorrow I have the event I setup (just a bar/pub hangout with people), Wednesday I have trivia, Thursday I have my monthly bookclub (finally finished This Will Make You Smarter). Looking forward to this week!

Currently Reading 

  • Self-improvement: Getting Things Done
  • Fiction: The Name of the Wind
Gratitude
  1. Get a message from a girl I met at a meetup.
  2. Fine-tuning my personal productivity.
  3. Getting a lot done this morning.
  4. Going for a walk.
  5. Delicious pulled pork that I made myself.

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Hey Travis! Glad to see you're still around!

Always happy to read that someone is improving their productivity! Evernote is simply amazing! Interesting, The Secret Weapon was more or less what I've been doing, but I didn't learn it from there! If you want to give a boost to productivity, I totally recommend the Dayboard chrome extension. It asks you for 5 tasks to be done through the day when you first open the chrome web browser. I've been loving it.

Regarding what happened in the workout, I guess you're more intuitive than observing, which is okay. In such cases, I guess it's only a matter of time until you build up some trust to the coach.

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Hey Rodrigo,

When you say intuitive vs observing, do you mean like intuitive versus sensing in MBTI terms? If so, yes, I'm very far on the intuitive side. Could you explain how you saw that? How would a sensor act differently? Or if you weren't talking about MBTI, what did you mean by this? :) 

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My bad, I meant sensing instead of observing. But it lead to the same conclusion.

Normally, intuitive individuals tend to learn and motivate by themselves. While sensing learn from others. You said that you don't like to be influenced by others, so I assumed that you were intuitive!

As a sensor, I tend to have a more open mind. I try stuff to see if they work and I initially "trust" on what I hear. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't (downside). We have to be more careful on what we trust, or we will believe on everything we see (downside).

A sensor would probably believe on what the coach is saying and get motivated by him. This is what I would do, probably.
 

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Haha I'm the same way. If you tell me what to do I don't do it simply because of that.

I've worked hard to calibrate this in my life over the past few years, but it's always interesting to see what triggers us and why. :)

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Day 114

I am tired today. Sipping coffee, hope it helps. I did sleep well last night, but I've been fighting off a cold, and it seems to come and go... make up your mind already, body :P.

My entry will be short today. I did a lot of computer work yesterday, and my nerve symptoms are acting up, so I need to go easy today on computers. Grateful I no longer have games to tempt me and mess me up further in the evenings.

I received my hardcover copy of The 4 Hour Chef yesterday. I'm very intrigued by Tim Ferriss' work - though I have some mixed feelings about him. But I think there is a lot of good information to get out of it, and his ideas occasionally challenge me. I'm excited to follow through the exercises in the book and improve my cooking (and meta-learning) knowledge!

Tonight is the reddit meetup pub hangout I arranged... 7 of my friends confirmed, and 25 people marked themselves as 'interested' (so 'maybes') - should be a fun time! I just need to try to stay awake through it :P

Currently Reading 

  • Self-improvement: Getting Things Done
  • Fiction: The Name of the Wind
Gratitude
  1. Making a new friend through meetup.
  2. 4-Hour Chef
  3. Mellow morning today.
  4. Staying consistent with my exercise.
  5. Bringing my own thermos, so I don't waste paper cups so much.

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Day 115

The reddit meetup event I planned for last night went well! Including myself, 12 people came out and we got dinner and drinks together, including some people I hadn't seen in over a year. I met a few new faces as well. If this was me a year ago even simply planning something like this would have been a big deal for me, because I wouldn't have had the social confidence. In practice now, it was a non-issue since all I really did was pick a time and place and people showed up. It does help that I have a bigger social network to pull from now though - so I knew in advance that I would know the majority of people there, rather than it being strangers. This is a huge difference for me.

My friend Kevin and I were the first two there, and we were chatting and catching up. He asked what was new with me, and I mentioned quitting video games. First he laughed. Then after a second he narrowed his eyes at me and said, "Wait, so what did you replace it with?" I've gotten this question from a couple different people now. I think it's really interesting... it sort of betrays them being threatened by my quitting, as if they're challenging the idea that I could fill my time satisfactorily without games. At least, that's how it comes off to me. I told him I replaced it with reading, writing, exercising, learning to cook, socializing, and other personal projects. All things I've always wanted to do and never really got right - gaming always got in the way.

Well - one thing didn't go to plan with last night. I woke up hungover this morning. I only had maybe... the equivalent of 3 beers? So I didn't expect this. But I am pretty much a lightweight (I walked home last night; bar was close by). I was really not feeling too good this morning - in particular I'm feeling dizzy. I wanted to go to work but ended up calling in sick. I tried driving around my block, but with the dizziness I really don't feel safe/comfortable driving to work. Plus I'm quite tired. A day to rest will do me well. I feel rather ashamed of this, but I think I'm making the smart decision to rest rather than drive somewhat impaired.

Over time I've been rethinking my stance on drinking more and more. Alcohol affects me pretty strongly. I know people who can have what I had last night and drive home - which is crazy to me. One beer and I can drive but it makes me uneasy to do so. I think in the future I'm going to avoid drinking when I have work the next day, and make it a thing for parties when someone can drive me, or relaxing nights at home for the most part. I've also considered just dropping alcohol altogether, but I don't know if I need to go that far. Either way - I think I'm more of a caffeine guy these days :D.

Currently Reading 

  • Self-improvement: Getting Things Done
  • Fiction: The Name of the Wind
Gratitude
  1. Consultant willing to reschedule project work.
  2. The headphones I bought recently.
  3. A day to rest.
  4. Bouillon broth tea :).
  5. Seeing old friends.

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Day 116

I've been cooking a lot more and eating out a lot less lately. For most of my life I haven't been very good at this. Growing up we would eat out a lot, too. It occurred to me that when I cook for myself my meals are much more consistent. I'm able to eat the same thing for a few days, or standardize certain things. This makes it possible to tell how certain foods are affecting me, and allows me to experiment and see what I feel the best eating. Whereas before I viewed cooking as a chore that took time away from my valuable gaming time, now I see it as something fun that I can play with to improve my life.

I'm evaluating my relationship with caffeine and alcohol. I don't drink much alcohol, but when I do I don't usually feel good about it, physically or mentally. I drink a lot of caffeine, and I usually like it, but it also frequently makes me more anxious or disrupts my sleep cycle, or makes me feel physically unwell. I'm realizing I'm tired of feeling like crap because I drink too much caffeine, or too much alcohol (which is sometimes even just 1 strong beer), or because I don't sleep well, or because I eat something that doesn't sit well with me. I feel like I feel unwell due to one or more of these things on a regular basis, at least once a week, if not more. I'm tired of feeling like shit all the time. I guess I have a fairly sensitive constitution, but that's all the more reason to titrate to a diet that I feel consistently good on.

If anyone has any advice or experiences to share on the topic, I would love to hear them.

Currently Reading 

Rather than posting the same thing in this section everyday, I think I'll just start chiming in when I finish a book :) Then maybe I can give a small review and my thoughts on it.

Gratitude
  1. Feeling rested, even if I slept poorly last night.
  2. Enjoying cooking for the first time.
  3. Saving money from eating in more. ($400~/month for food is what I used to spend; groceries now cost me $50~/week (=$200~/month)
  4. Getting 2nd place at trivia last night!
  5. All the knowledge I gain from podcasts.

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Alcohol. I used to love it. Now, just like you, I'm quite disenchanted with it. I curbed it down since summer to a drink or two during the weekend or in a social situation. Since January 3rd my wife and I are going 90 days without any alcohol. My concern is peer pressure: drinking sometimes is part of my job (IT sales).

Caffeine. We went decaf ages ago. I drink black and green teas too but they don't make me jerky like coffee does. I drink an espresso every now and then, when decaf isn't available. Experimenting with tea blends is a pleasure in its own.

Sugar. Not in your list but hear me out. I used to be a sweet tooth. Limiting my sugar intake is one of the best decisions I took. Improved focus, healthier skin, better digestion.

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Day 117

Last night I was at my second science book club group event. We discussed This Will Make You Smarter.

I'm quite fond of this group. It's mostly older people - there were retired teachers, psychologists, tech people, etc there last night. But also younger people. I am the youngest in the group by at least 5 years though. Anyway, I'm fond of it because I think currently it's one of my only social outlets where I can be fully myself intellectually. I can actually express my thoughts on science or philosophy in full complexity and have people who are interested on that same level and will respond. This is super rare for me ever since I left college - not because I'm some genius, but because I just don't have many intellectual outlets, period. It's one of the few places that I feel I belong. I'm kind of sad it's only once a month.

Now that I'm thinking about it... I think that I hold back thoughts in social situations a lot because I'm afraid that people won't understand or relate to what I'm saying, or it'll be inappropriate or come off as pretentious, if I don't paraphrase or simplify what I'm thinking in some way. In fact I know that I do this - in conversation with family, friends, etc. I must have learned to do this, maybe because it didn't go well in the past when I was open about my interests. My family certainly can't relate to them (none of them went to college or really have an interest in science, etc). I don't know if the right approach is to keep doing that and find outlets to be myself, or to just be more forward with who I am and do it in a way that isn't condescending and engages the other person. I hope this makes sense.

In college I never had this problem, because I was surrounded by like-minded people. But now I struggled to find those like-minded people and have conversations I find meaningful or interesting, which can be a bit lonely since I really care about this stuff and spend a lot of my free time thinking and learning about it. I'm thinking next book club I might ask the other members where they find places to engage intellectually around here, I wonder if they might have some ideas for me to try.

Currently Reading 

This week I read The Mindbody Prescription. It talks about psychosomatic pain, basically. I think that sort of stuff is certainly real, but I don't really buy this guy's take on it. There's too much fluff and not enough science. His main argument is that you have to recognize that the pain is created mentally and not physically and it will go away. He might be right, but I just wasn't convinced by what he presented. Nonetheless I'm reflecting on it. I read this because of pain / nerve symptoms I get in my hands/arms that conventional medicine has failed to address for me. I'm as science-based as they come (if the above post is any indication), but in this situation I'm willing to consider alternatives - I think there are areas where medicine is currently not offering great solutions (yet), due to certain systematic biases in how the medical system works, and the scientific paradigms of our day (if you can't measure it, then we're not going to pay attention to it - it's hard to measure how psychological/emotional factors affect the body, or at least it hasn't been done in depth yet). That said, most alternative 'medicine' is just placebo, and doesn't work. As Tim Minchen put it - "Do you know what they call alternative medicine that has been proved to work?" "...Medicine".

Gratitude
  1. Book club last night.
  2. Saving money.
  3. Quiet friday at work.
  4. Hanging out with friends later.
  5. Focus.

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I've spent the last few years being much more aware of the food I eat and how it was affecting me, not just on a macro and micro level. Now I can tell the difference in many individual foods, even if they don't make me ill. For example, if I eat dairy, I am basically out of commission for the day. Whereas if I eat corn I just feel lethargic. Creating higher standards for myself on how I want to feel every day (I want to feel powerful, full of energy and clear headed), it's much easier for me to choose which foods make me feel that way and which ones do not.

To get there you need to start eliminating certain foods and then re-introducing them. You can do something like the auto-immune protocol and then as your system is more clear you can re-introduce foods one at a time and identify how they make you feel. This is how I learned about dairy, alcohol, gluten, and soy (I do not eat/drink any of them.) I also avoid sugar and processed foods. I have tea and coffee but know my limits.

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Day 118

This morning I attended a meditation group. I've gone in the past, but it's been a little while since I've been. It was very refreshing, and we had some good conversation as well. Afterwards I felt more mental clarity than I've had in a while.

Afterwards I got coffee, and then planned meals for next week and went grocery shopping, ate lunch.

I'm leaving for a coffee date in 20 minutes.

I have had a great week! I'm beginning to notice how all the little things add up in a positive way for me. Particularly my morning routine, which is so critical for me now. If I wake up in the morning in a bad mood, all I have to do is muster the energy to do my 5 minute journal, and I feel a little better. Then from that place, it's not too hard to do my bodyweight exercise and meditation. After doing all that, my tone for the day is set, and I feel great. I feel great not only because of the benefits of doing all those things, but also because I feel proud of myself for having done them, as I'm living the life that I want to. Rinse and repeat.

That's all for now. Have a great weekend everyone.

Gratitude
  1. Listening to music.
  2. Talking with coworkers.
  3. Watching Peep Show with friends.
  4. Being mindful.
  5. Meditating with a group.
Edited by kortheo
added some detail

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