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Faroe Islander

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Thanks a lot @Paul A.I'm going to try to give 1h/day to be introspective + try the Pomodoro helps and see if I can get out of the exam period, already have some travels scheduled with friends for that time, now it's just a matter of getting there.

 

Good luck to you as well and thank you for your input, I'll keep it in mind and see which Pomodoro time helps (maybe 50-10?) and try to dedicate more time to hobby searching.

Btw one of this days I have to ask you for your discord contact or something, you seem like an interesting person

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  • 2 weeks later...

Up and down on the days, on average I'm still maintaining the pace through I had to make some sacrifices on the grades. I have to choose between just letting go of the semester or committing for a whole week more, my mental hasn't been the greatest, but I passed everything.

Now all there is left to do is to choose what to focus on, I know that long term watching videos, even in small amounts is not sustainable as it ends up leading me back to old habits, that leaves restarting the journey of quitting cold turkey again ahead. I want to decide whether I should do it or not and I'm going to take at least today to find my reasons and why I want to quit, I don't want this to be another half-hearted effort, those do not lead me anywhere and unfortunately they have been way too common recently

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Day 1

Few distractions

Designed schedule as psychologist instructed, waiting to see if it seems acceptable or if it needs changes.

Right now I'm going to focus on implementing it (at least showing up to the places at the right time).

For tonight/tomorrow -> recover list of reasons why I wanted to quit games.

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1st day done, yesterday I had a lot of trouble concentrating in the afternoon and I had to resort to going for long walks journaling and laying down to let my brain calm down so I only managed to do wok in the morning.

Today I will focus on catching back up in the morning and afternoon then going for a bit of exercise and the list of reasons why I wanted to quit games

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Day 2 done, ups and downs, couldn't focus much on studies, managed to at least go outside instead of staying indoors with the phone all day long, main thing to focus on -> being more conscious throughout the day, I notice I have moments where I just slip or don't pay attention to what I'm doing, this has to change at least a little bit if I don't want to repeat the same mistakes and end up spending a whole day listening to music or watching videos.

What is good is that at least now that I took out the internet I'm starting to think and feel a lot more, I don't bottle them up, and even though this means that I can sometimes be a lot more distracted emotional or have moments where the mind just goes too quick and overwhelms me with thoughts and feelings it is something that also helps me finally move forward and feel alive.

Today is a new day I started off well in terms of energy and time (finally managed to say no to bedsheets and go to the desk to work) and I look forward to making it one of my best in the whole week, a stepping stone towards what is to come in terms of habits

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Tuesday 

Decided to pursue one of my hobbies

Spent most of the day meeting people and getting work done, relied a lot on music overall, need to get the momentum to also leave it as I know that I'm just stalling with it and using it to cope thereby just elongating the process.

Still have some time left today, to avoid stalling forever I'll commit to also leaving music behind today at 11PM

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On 1/26/2023 at 4:30 PM, Faroe Islander said:

Up and down on the days, on average I'm still maintaining the pace through I had to make some sacrifices on the grades. I have to choose between just letting go of the semester or committing for a whole week more, my mental hasn't been the greatest, but I passed everything.

I actually had only one serious exam this semester and it was OK, though I am finding that as time progresses, I'm getting lazier with my university assignments. I worked out a plan to finish the summer semester/all subjects of my masters by June and then have until January/February 2024 to finish my thesis and do the finals. What is the plan for your studies?

On 1/26/2023 at 4:30 PM, Faroe Islander said:

Now all there is left to do is to choose what to focus on, I know that long term watching videos, even in small amounts is not sustainable as it ends up leading me back to old habits, that leaves restarting the journey of quitting cold turkey again ahead. I want to decide whether I should do it or not and I'm going to take at least today to find my reasons and why I want to quit, I don't want this to be another half-hearted effort, those do not lead me anywhere and unfortunately they have been way too common recently

I understand that. I have the same issue quitting porn now. I didn't watch it for over a week a few days ago, but then I just got too excited. It's nowhere as bad as it was with gaming, but I don't want to spend a few hours a week watching porn. I also think it's somewhat unfair towards my girlfriend, so it's another good reason to stop for me.

On 1/31/2023 at 6:20 PM, Faroe Islander said:

Spent most of the day doing house chores but staying inside ended up hurting me long term

I don't exercise, but I matched my chores with physical activity. That means if I have to meet my students F2F or meet with friends, I either cycle or have to walk for at least for 30 minutes. Is there any way for you to do that as well?

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On 2/11/2023 at 11:10 PM, Ikar said:

I actually had only one serious exam this semester and it was OK, though I am finding that as time progresses, I'm getting lazier with my university assignments. I worked out a plan to finish the summer semester/all subjects of my masters by June and then have until January/February 2024 to finish my thesis and do the finals. What is the plan for your studies?

Right now I'm in the 1st week of the second semester, there isn't much to do I mostly try to spend time with a research group and a group we students built to compete in a robotics event it is enough to keep me entertained and away from the pits of overthinking but I still have to develop other hobbies I feel like a zombie whenever I finish most activities/work

 

On 2/11/2023 at 11:10 PM, Ikar said:

I understand that. I have the same issue quitting porn now. I didn't watch it for over a week a few days ago, but then I just got too excited. It's nowhere as bad as it was with gaming, but I don't want to spend a few hours a week watching porn. I also think it's somewhat unfair towards my girlfriend, so it's another good reason to stop for me.

I'm sure you will be able to it is a continuation of quitting gaming, for me I have had quite a lot of ups and downs, right now I'm in the mids of quitting and towards the nights I sometimes just feel completely apathetic and sometimes go to bed to early, my recommendation would be to talk to close friends and even your girlfriend about it and turn it into part of your identity the not watching porn together with the doing other other substitute activities instead of it

 

On 2/11/2023 at 11:10 PM, Ikar said:

I don't exercise, but I matched my chores with physical activity. That means if I have to meet my students F2F or meet with friends, I either cycle or have to walk for at least for 30 minutes. Is there any way for you to do that as well?

Not really now, lately my close friends either have conflicting schedules with mine, are 1h+ drive away or are in the hospital/occupied with other serious things, only time I get to do sport with a friend is like 9:30-10:30 though I feel the need to include it more into the routine maybe at middays to destress and at night to actually have time, thanks for the input.

 

One last question, when you quit games/social media Ikar how did you get though the days? I often find myself relapsing on small "slip ups" instead of big ones and when I quit I feel overwhelmed at least temporarily by thoughts or emotions. I have contacted my psychologist and next session I'll tell him about certain issues but I want to be able to attend while being on a streak of "sober days"

 

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Got the schedule with the psychologist done.

Morning went well got stuck in the afternoon, shouldn't have brought my phone with me. There are several areas in my life, particularly in studies where I'm making progress but I still have a way to on controlling emotions and habits particularly when I'm down or spread out

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On 2/15/2023 at 12:56 AM, Faroe Islander said:

Right now I'm in the 1st week of the second semester, there isn't much to do I mostly try to spend time with a research group and a group we students built to compete in a robotics event it is enough to keep me entertained and away from the pits of overthinking but I still have to develop other hobbies I feel like a zombie whenever I finish most activities/work

I've been wondering about that as well. I sense that the divide between my "free" week and my "work" week is still too big for my taste, so I want to allow myself more free time in general. But now, I'm gonna be more busy with university and I suspect the number of my English courses will be constant, as I drop courses for language schools and pick up more private students.

On 2/15/2023 at 12:56 AM, Faroe Islander said:

I'm sure you will be able to it is a continuation of quitting gaming, for me I have had quite a lot of ups and downs, right now I'm in the mids of quitting and towards the nights I sometimes just feel completely apathetic and sometimes go to bed to early, my recommendation would be to talk to close friends and even your girlfriend about it and turn it into part of your identity the not watching porn together with the doing other other substitute activities instead of it

Sometimes, I have a tendency to finish my day quite early, let's say at 9. I have activities to do, but in that moment I feel tired/unconcentrated and I postpone them. And if there are no activities for me to do, it makes me restless at night and triggers my masturbation habit. Reading books in my bed makes me sleepy, so I should capitalize on that. My girlfriend and a few friends know and I agree it's good to not be alone in that.

On 2/15/2023 at 12:56 AM, Faroe Islander said:

One last question, when you quit games/social media Ikar how did you get though the days? I often find myself relapsing on small "slip ups" instead of big ones and when I quit I feel overwhelmed at least temporarily by thoughts or emotions. I have contacted my psychologist and next session I'll tell him about certain issues but I want to be able to attend while being on a streak of "sober days"

That made me look at the beginning of my diary, because I don't remember what I did. I just remember feeling free after I quit. And that I did anything but gaming and Twitch. I know that before the diary, I had bouts of quitting certain games/starting certain games/watching Twitch. I learnt that my case is pretty abnormal after spending some time here, as most people don't start journaling and quit 100%.

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Thanks for getting back to me.

Right now I'll continue trying to get activities to occupy myself. One last thing, I tend to overdo it a bit when scheduling my time for work, do you have any insight on how to keep a good work-free time balance and check if you are putting to much time on one of the too?

Right now I'm studying and I like what we are learning in the lectures and application clases/courses so I can put a lot of time per day into it without many worries about burnout, but can you tell me a bit about how you decide on how much time you want/need to dedicate to the different aspects of your life?

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12-17 feb 

Minor slip ups. main difference being they are limited in time (2h max) then I can pick myself back up.

I have learned that forgiving yourself for committing mistakes and instead of talking yourself down, encouraging yourself to change, learn from the mistake and keep moving is necessary to quitting.

Right now I'm going to keep investing time into studies and career related work since I like what I'm doing right now, it has value in the long term and is not likely to cause burnout. Apart from that I'll work on reintroducing and augmenting the amount of time I spend with sports and close non-internet friends

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On 2/17/2023 at 11:25 PM, Faroe Islander said:

Thanks for getting back to me.

Right now I'll continue trying to get activities to occupy myself. One last thing, I tend to overdo it a bit when scheduling my time for work, do you have any insight on how to keep a good work-free time balance and check if you are putting to much time on one of the too?

Right now I'm studying and I like what we are learning in the lectures and application clases/courses so I can put a lot of time per day into it without many worries about burnout, but can you tell me a bit about how you decide on how much time you want/need to dedicate to the different aspects of your life?

In the case of overwork, I calm myself down, relax, set priorities and continue. Usually, there are not that many urgent things coming up that I would completely forget about. That means I am mostly able to organize my schedule effectively and do something when it needs to be done without stress.

In the case of underwork, I remember my hobbies, habits I want to practice and projects that don't have much priority.

Both happen rarely, but I sometimes bump into both the "overworked" zone, as well as the "underworked" zone. 95% of the time I feel neither though. I use Google Calendar for my work/uni (it's pretty much necessary), as well as tasks/ideas/projects to work on when I have more time.

As for how much time I put into what activity, I rely on my gut. I don't think there's a better way than that and I haven't heard anyone telling me I should do less/more of X/Y/Z (except myself, of course).

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Pretty good weekend overall, much better than previous ones, separating workplaces from places for recreation, sleep... helped out a lot. Now what I have left to do is focus on getting the best out of the time I spent on something, lot's of time have I been doing things halfway, whether they are recreation or studying (eg: while listening to music)

I need to change this and keep working on a healthy time schedule as maybe my distribution (specially with social aspects), is too unbalanced more time is needed. Will continue, tomorrow I will focus on getting 2h of really concentrated work in the afternoon instead of a bunch of half attempts/time where I'm doing stuff but only half way.

I need to deal with social media as well, they are nice but too often have they gotten in my way.

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Lost the plot a bit over the weekend, I hope to regain it over the upcoming workdays which are the times where I usually perform best.

Now I'm going to focus on trying to get as much as I can out of the time I still have left today a win is a win no matter how small and this last 7 days have been some of my best, now I got to focus on turning them into sustainable habits for long term success

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No matter what, you never fail to impress me with your consistency. No matter how many times you slip up, you always get right back on the wagon. That's definitely one of your best traits, and it'll serve you well in the future. Keep on keeping on man!

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  • 2 months later...

Moving, kind of had lots of good stuff happening to me in the last days, mostly to do with social activities in uni I just find myself sometimes struggling to quit games and relapsing every 3-4 days or so now I'm in a place where I somewhat know what I want but find it hard to actually get it done. I need the time that I would gain from quitting videos but also find the lack of entertainment and the little interactions with "o just one more" absolutely excruciating.

Today I'm trying the new blocker that also works on apps so that's good

Let's see what tomorrow holds in store for me. today I just want to keep building back up accountability systems and routines

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On 2/28/2023 at 2:00 PM, Paul A. said:

No matter what, you never fail to impress me with your consistency. No matter how many times you slip up, you always get right back on the wagon. That's definitely one of your best traits, and it'll serve you well in the future. Keep on keeping on man!

thanks a lot Paul I always try to keep it up even when I slip up It is more a problem of committing fully and not believing in the final goal, I most of the time can't fully see myself being able to quit with so many slip ups, I want to get to the end and start doing well, I need the extra time but find it hard to push past the 3rd day. 
Right now it is true that with the events there has been an overall improvement in amount of time spent but it isn't enough.

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