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SpiNips

My Journal - SpiNips

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Hello!

I have been very busy the past couple of days. I've been preparing for next week's exams and meeting my friends. Generally doing really well though!

As for meditation, I'm starting to get more used to visualization. It seems to be able to help my feelings reach more positive state.

Gratitude Journal:

  • Today I'm grateful for spending time with my friends
  • Getting to know a couple of new persons
  • Reactions, Helping you unconsciously in quick situations
  • The personal way Brené writes her book
  • Finding new interests after gaming. As I'm not so interested in them anymore I find it a 100 times easier to stay away from them.

 

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I can really relate with the difficulty in feeling closeness.  I feel very close with my wife and adore my baby, but I don't feel a whole lot of closeness other than that.  Before my wife, I had a good long period of not feeling too close to anybody.  I was definitely trying to foster that with somebody, and I finally did with my wife.  I'm still working on getting it with another person, but it's just a very tough thing for me.  All I can say is just stay persistent and keep working on being the best and most authentic version of yourself and it'll happen!  That's what I'm doing!

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Hello!

Today was great! Ate pizza and watched Interstellar with my friends.

Uff... I should really make things clear with a girl. I'm going to have to take the initiative, but for some reason I'm making it too complicated with all kinds of thoughts. Probably making the situation feel bigger than I should. I feel like the best thing would be to just get it over with so I could go on with my life. Well that sounds kinda pessimistic, but I mean just that playing around in this situation is a waste of time and energy. Hard to explain! :P

As suggested in Gorilla Mindset I created a mantra for myself. For some reason I will do my best, and that is enough for me just clicked with me. I've noticed how it really does effect some unnecessary worries and brings calmness and focus.

Today I'm grateful for

  • That there are no black holes or some space-rays that would grill us nearby
  • Good British black tea
  • Going to celebrate my friends birthday today! We've got a surprise party, shh!
  • Feeling the flu easing it's grip on me
  • Headlamps, one of the most practical gadgets

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Hello!

Today had it's ups and downs. The surprise party turned out to be a massive success! :) Our friend appreciated it. I decided to go sober, since I felt that drinking wasn't going to do me any good. Suddenly I find my drunk ass friend, so my friends and I washed him and made sure he got home safely. Well, a Night to remember. Definitely.

Today I checked in with my goals by making a mind map about them. Helps me direct my actions towards them. I will try my best and that is enough.

I'm grateful for:

  • A moment of silence after celebrating
  • Reconnecting with my old and awesome friends.
  • Cooking good dinner from salmon and vegetables
  • Setting clocks to winter time. One more hour to sleep well today
  • Not drinking, I'm going to be especially grateful tomorrow!

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Hello!

Today was a different kind of day. I've read, studied physics and caught up with a couple missing hours of sleep. 

I've felt pretty mixed the last couple of days. Today I thought about my feelings, goals and how I value myself to spot if something about them was causing me to feel bad. I noticed that a part of me is striving for external validation quite strongly. Letting my idea of what people think of me affect myself. Well I'll have to think about things like these.

Brené's book, that I'm currently reading, has taught more about having a healthy relationship to yourself. Still I find vulnerability a tricky concept.

Today I'm grateful for

  • Candlelight, more lively than electrical lamp
  • Reading about Powerlift 5x5 in Tom's journal! It sounds simple and effective.
  • My grandmother for making the Most Delicious fish soup!
  • My phone for serving me well! SIII still going strong!
  • The quote I found in Daring Greatly which fits a gratitude journal well; It's Not Joy that makes Us Grateful It Is Gratitude that Makes Us Joyful.
  • This site for having inspirational and instructive journals! I'm genuinely thankful for them! ^^

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Brene Brown is awesome.  All of her other books are on my list!

It's really cool to see your progress since you started your journal.

The struggle with external validation was a very tough one for me from the time I started kindergarten, and I completely get through it until I was about 25.  From reading your words, I feel really confident that you're going to get through it.

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Cam - Thanks! One step at a time seems to be an effective approach to many problems! Dealing with the big unmanageable goal by chopping it into nice bites. I have to come up with a way of exercising it regularly.

Joe - It's calming to hear that you've overcame this problem! I'm going to give it my best. May I ask if there was any particular way of thinking that helped you over this, or did you like grow over it?

Today was a good day. I'll try to write and read other journals on tomorrow or thursday, since there is a lot going on right now!

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Broccoli, trying to introduce more vegetables into my diet
  • Good pair of Jeans!
  • Our country for providing us free lunch
  • Learning about sunk cost fallacy! 
  • Kyle Landry! An inspirational and amazing pianist!

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I had a nervous breakdown at that age (which I don't recommend) due to my divorce, moving into an apartment by myself, being far away from my family, my natural anxiety and depression, playing video games for just about every moment of my free time, and just being too scared to go out and meet people.

What I realized during that time was that many people struggle with that same need for external validation that I had.  I had spent my entire life up until that point thinking that struggles like that were not common and it was something to be ashamed of.  When I started to learn that my struggles were something that I shared with the rest of humanity, I began to feel less like a freak.  This helped me to reach out to people because many were just like me in those ways.  I realized that the people who are quick to pass the kinds of judgement that I feared were the minority and just plainly assholes.  Most people don't like or care for their negative commentary.  Also, it was an easy way to find out who I didn't want to waste time socializing with.

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Hello!

Just dropping my gratitude journal here! I'm quite busy. :ph34r:

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Getting a white tie for ball early this year
  • Having a family that can help me with physics
  • Fair-Isle pullovers 
  • Remembering a little fact from a person and making her happy
  • Understanding how shame and guilt differ!
Edited by SpiNips

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I really love to see other people NOT drink for a variety. Sometimes I feel like people drink alcohol on every occasion.

Suddenly I find my drunk ass friend, so my friends and I washed him and made sure he got home safely.

Haha what does that mean you washed him? I imagine some cruel joke but maybe you really just washed him with water and soap? :S^_^

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This is going to sound pretty rough, but he had passed out and there was his vomit all over the him and the bathroom floor. He couldn't go home like that, so we washed him, put clean clothes on him and called his family... He wasn't doing too well :S 

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Ah right... well.. that's a really nice thing to do then. 

When we had a party some guys used to draw a lot of hair and a fake beard onto this drunken, poor man's face with a marker. Later this poor guy went to the bathroom and was so confused when he saw himself in the mirror, still insanely drunk xD

Hmm yes. That reminds me that I always wished for friends like you and always received "friends" like them :(

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Joe - Thanks for sharing your story!!! It's awesome how you managed to come past it.

Cor - Poor fella :D Gladly that is pretty harmless. Yeah, I'm grateful for my friends, I'm sure they would do the same for me too :). I'm sure that you'll find and make that kind of connections too!

 

Hello! I've been pretty busy! It's mostly due to my tenuous planning. I'm going to plan the next phase out with time and thoroughly. I'm feeling good, some minor stress from the workload. Weekend is ahead so I'll have time to catch back up on my hobbies and social needs.

I've been studying for my social studies' test. It's an interesting and practical subject. Knowing the effects of the society helps you figure out your own ways to influence.

Reading about general stereotypic expectations has been interesting. I still have valuing to do with them, since it's quite hard to understand the meaning of them to me. I'd like to read Deida's The Way of the Superior Man. Sounds like it could have some good perspective on that! It's currently on the to get-list with The Power of Now.

Today I'm grateful for

  • living in a Nordic social democracy. Society has your back yet you have the chances to thrive.
  • Finnish pop music, fun to listen at times
  • The weekend arrives, general but boy am I grateful!
  • Trying out a new gym in my area. Somehow managed to do my personal best on Bench press.
  • Traditional Blood Barley sausage of Tampere! Absolute delicacy with lingonberry jam. 

Plenty of Finland today ^_^ 

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Hello!

Today has been okay, Caught up with sleep, studied, went to sauna and read Daring Greatly

My current goal is to understand vulnerability better. Reading Daring Greatly continues to convince me how important it really is. Sense of worthiness, love and belonging are all emotions which I highly value.  I will have to keep working on it, maybe create a few weekly missions with the help of the book. Vulnerability is definitely a hard topic for me. I know for sure that I'm going to read this book again in the future.

I'm grateful for:

  • Dishwashers, they save water and time
  • Having a wood fueled sauna stove
  • Social studies' test for going well
  • Beanbag chairs
  • Joyful reunion with an old bus driver-friend of mine, who drove me to Lapland a couple summers back! 

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Cam - Yeah that's probably true. By the way could you update the top 5 books list, since it has bugged out for some reason. Your book recommendations have been really good! :)

Whoa, I really need to get out of the house more tomorrow. Feeling a bit fuzzy.

As for today I've read and studied for maybe a bit too long. I made some pizza and trained but generally just been reading the whole day. Training BJJ was great fun. I set a goal for myself to train 24 times before the end of the year so I'll get some consistency with training. Helps in forming a habit.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Having fridges
  • Nearby observatory, stars are inspiring
  • Drinking glogg, 54 days till Christmas I believe
  • Having had the chance to drink ice-cold and pure water in Northern Lapland from a fountain
  • Milk, full of calcium and in vitamin D (It's added to milk here)

 

Edited by SpiNips

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Hello! 

This is my 100th post! Currently going strong. :) Today has consisted of studying and exercising. Left the house and took a little walk in order to not get as funky as I did yesterday.

I had a little break from BJJ due to once again getting sick, but I feel that I'm slowly crawling over the irritating threshold of starting to train again.

As for setting goals I've been relatively busy with studying, so I haven't had the chance to focus on them. Only got two days worth of hustle left though.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Managing to study the whole history book well
  • The new snapchat filters are cool
  • Striped shirts
  • Getting to know really good people on BJJ! 
  • Upcoming weekend camp! It's going to be Awesome!

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Privet moi druzja!

Hello! This day has once again consisted of pretty much studying geography. Today I also took a little step towards being more vulnerable by opening about my feelings a bit. Made me feel better. ^_^

I finally finished Daring Greatly. It was such an awesome book! I'll work to include more vulnerability and empathy into my everyday life. From now on I will be working with the renowned book The Slight Edge.

It's my thirty-seventh day of consecutive meditation! Big impact on my calmness and ability to be present. Perfect for starting the day.

Thanks for updating the book list Cam. Now I'm sure I will run out of money before I run out of books to read :P

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Old-school russian melodies like галубой вагон! Russia is very interesting altogether!
  • Practicing vulnerability today.
  • The newest walking dead episode! I personally enjoyed it and it motivated me take action!
  • Ari Pulkkinen's theme for Trine 2. Great to play it on piano, well composed!
  • My family for having my back

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Hello!

Today has consisted of studying and sports. I feel like my recent posts and days have followed a certain form lately, but education is a thing I value, so I'm content with it! I will have my last exam tomorrow so I will have time to focus on other stuff as well.

Today I read the intro to the Slight Edge. The story about the Beach-bum and the Millionaire seemed well put together. I'm also noticing this oscillating pattern in my life too. Olson was really clever to spot the pattern!

Today I'm grateful for:

  • the fact that this site saves the text you are writing into the message box even when you manage to accidentally shut the window down, would've lost this entry otherwise.
  • Listening to Haydn while studying maths, It's been my go-to music since vectors while studying maths
  • Tortillas!
  • Having made Journal beck when I struggled with quitting gaming the most. I can go back and see how I snapped out of the hardest part and make sure that I'm keeping up with the habits
  • Knowing what I have to do to win today.

Yeah that's pretty much what I'm up to! Have a nice day ^_^ 

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Hello!

I'm tired, so today I'll drop my gratitude journal and write more on my personal one.

Today I'm grateful for

  • Meeting my friends today
  • Libraries, free books and a good place to study
  • Foo Fighters
  • Public transport
  • Long morning tomorrow due to exam-week

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