championeal

I love books 📚 what are you currently reading?

I definitely connect with the idea of journaling as accountability. I would prefer to journal at the end of the day, but then a lot of times I'm "too tired" and want to just pass out on my bed. Any tips? Also, you have made it this far. Maybe you don't need to beat the crap out of yourself 😉

You probably insulted the one thing that he cares about and is important to his life. Smart on you to just block him. No reason to sit there and take an online assault from messaging.

Day 54 This day isn’t anything special in terms of progress towards the 90 days, but today I remembered game quitters and my journaling and wanted to do it again! Honestly I didn’t even realize it had been this long. Not counting every day definitely allowed me to just focus on my daily life. At the same time, I think that while my days have been game free, they sometimes blur together without the journaling to check-in with myself at the end of day. So, I want to start journaling again, so that I can start reflecting on what’s next. My foundation right now is daily exercise and reading. Fill in the rest of the time with work, to-do’s, and social fulfillment in some way. I have found a good rhythm, but what’s next? Consistently trying out new hobbies has been something. I try something for a day or two, then forget about it for a while. I think I need to stick with something new for at least a month to really experience it. A note on gaming urges. They come sporadically, randomly. Though, usually more often at night time. Those late nights of the past, gaming all night, and having a blast, come back. And, it probably would be fun for a night, but it’s never just one night. And then, the fun doesn’t last. So, when these memories come up, rather than shove them down, I’ve been seeing them through. I play it all out in my head, the good and the bad, no matter how difficult that is, and then I can let it go. Letting go is the hardest part. It’s still a process, a work in progress. I know this, because the urges still come back, even when I think they’re gone. Every time is a little bit easier than the last, though. Until the next time... - Neal

Day 31 It has always been hard for me to own up and actually call my relationship with gaming an addiction. I try to weave the narrative in gaming’s favor, sugarcoating the bad moments and highlighting the good. Enough is enough, I’m tired of fantasizing about gaming in the future or having nostalgia about gaming in the past. I’m setting an intention to NOT return to gaming when the 90 days are up. I plan to continue posting less frequently as the days go on, because I intend to spend less time at my computer. I appreciate the support that this community has shown me from my first post. Onward my friends. - Neal

Day 23 Today I did a lot of reading, reflection, and personal work. When I look back at today and I don’t have these things I can check off in a checkbox, I have to remind myself that it was still a good day. School has so ingrained in me a process of homework, grading, and feedback. I haven’t been in school in five years and I still feel that pressure. Not everything in life is going to be given a score, a progress marker, etc. Working on myself is definitely very fluid. I can tell I am changing, but the only thing I can say with finality at this point is that I don’t play games anymore. Everything else kind of feels up in the air. The days have been good. And I’m taking things day by day. I’m just trying to figure out where I’m going. - Neal

Good stuff. I like Thich Nhat Hahn's books as well for similar reasons, the open mindedness and accessibility of the teachings. How I usually find new books is just to read everything by an author that I like. So, if you really connected with that book, I definitely recommend the other ones.

What are these 12 things?

I also tend to be an overthinker. The thoughts are almost always worse than the thing itself.

Day 21 I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated today. Thought about gaming. Thought about YouTube. Thought about Netflix. Instead, I decided to read, read a lot. And yes, I am so thankful that I read. For a few reasons: (1) I have now started on the book I committed to read for my friends book club (2) My difficult feelings dissipated (3) I feel a renewal of energy. When I would turn to gaming to avoid these difficult feelings, it only served as a distraction. Gaming only made me feel better while gaming, and the moment the games were off, I still felt the same as before, if not worse. Respawn talked about restful activities. Gaming is not restful. Reading is restful. Restful activities rejuvenate. I need to remember this when I feel like avoiding. - Neal

Thanks for the support. Yes, it is from difficulties that we grow. Thank you for reminding me to think of all the good that has come from this so far.

Day 20 First time I'm posting in the middle of the day. Switching it up. The past couple days I've reached the end of the day only to feel too exhausted to want to write anything down. I am currently struggling to stay disciplined in my free time. I find it filled up by a lot of consuming YouTube lately. Without gaming, I'm like a sponge, ready to soak up what's around me. Gotta keep choosing things that build me up. Goal for today: pomodoro practice 4 of the skills I have been wanting to learn. That's only two hours of commitment! and yet it feels like so much...plenty of time left in the day though. If I sit around again I know I'll feel shitty and if I do some practice I know I'll feel accomplished. So time to get some discipline. Two hours, four skills, okay let's do it. - Neal

Coding is like solving a puzzle, sometimes a very complex one. Every solution is an accomplishment. When I get really into a programming problem, it's a good flow. However, I'm working on better discipline to practice more.

Congrats! The decision you made takes resolve. I think it's worth celebrating every moment we have the chance to game and choose not to 🥳

It's the leap of faith necessary at any big moment. I don't mean "faith" in terms of religion, but faith in yourself that you will be able to see this through. I think that being "ready" is a lie we've been convinced of as a necessary step before we start. Really though, all we need is to be committed to keep going and take it one step at a time from there. I wish you the best in pursuing your artistic vocation.

Day 17 Accomplishment of the day: Getting back into doing some programming. Completed a challenge on freecodecamp, and I found it fun to test my mind and see what I could remember. Inspiring song of the week: Born For This by The Score I have probably listened to this song 20 times in the past week. From the song, “We come from different places but have the same name” - Neal

Sounds like you've done a great deal of self-reflection. Maybe now is the time for action. But, unfortunately that's a question no one can answer but yourself.

Seemed like a good day. Glad you were able to enjoy some things on Day 2, and you had a friend to support you. Super solid stuff in here. I still go back to reference it and the reflections I wrote down from it.

Day 16 Taking action - I started an online book club with two friends who I’ve felt disconnected from for too long. We’ll get to enjoy some good books together and hopefully get some time to catch up and chat too. I’ve never been in a book club before so this is all trial and error. We all mutually decided on reading Shōgun. Memorable moment - My brother and I were driving around our town today. When we were driving past a field, we noticed geese. An absolute enormous mass of hundreds of geese spread out over just one field. We decided to step out of the car and say hello, but the geese got scared and flew away in a tidal wave. To the small steps and small moments. - Neal

Day 15 Looking back at today, and the last few days, I’m realizing I enjoy my time way more at work than I had been. Work used to be a thing to get through to get to the free time and the fun stuff. Lately, time spent at work is a joy. I’m just a barista, so I don’t work any sort of special job. Something about my overall attitude just feels better. I can’t think of any specific moment where I decided to enjoy my job more. It just has sort of happened. Taking gaming out of the picture really gives space for other parts of my life to shine. Quote of the Day: “Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us.” - Earl Nightingale - Neal

Day 14 Highlight of the day: I spent about an hour tonight on the phone reconnecting with a friend I hadn’t talked to in a few months. I’m usually nervous about phone calls, but it all just flowed. Felt so good that I didn’t overthink what to say and flowed with the conversation. Self-gratitude: Two weeks of gaming detox complete! I woke up early today and even still my energy is much higher than it was last week. Let’s keep the weeks coming! - Neal

Congrats! Accountability is definitely another way to go. Use what works for you 👍

I have an eero router: eero.com. The one I have is $69 right now.

Day 13 Megatired and waking up early tomorrow to see the sunrise so making this quick. I feel less and less pull back to the gaming world every day. Self-gratitude moment: Hanging up a physical counter in my room for the gaming detox. A daily reminder that builds - Neal

If you're staying on the computer past your desired bedtime, here's a suggestion that has worked for me. I set a timer on my router to shut off every night. I also don't currently have the password to my router so I have no way of changing it back. Now, I could use my computer without internet, but I've realized that most anything I would want to do is online. Maybe this would work for you too.