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rivers

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About rivers

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  1. Hey, sorry for the late reply. Your parents drug tested you? That is pretty hardcore man.. I like hip hop too. I got into it later on when I was in my twenties. That's cool that you are an engineer. I'm glad you made that happen. I know what you mean about embracing life. I definitely try to enjoy each and every day as much as possible. I have always had a hard time with the ladies as well haha. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to but I don't think I will ever stop feeling that desire. Anyway, sorry I don't have a lot to say right now, it's pretty late, but I wanted you to know that I r
  2. Hey Alvaro, you are right, we definitely have some similarities. I lived with my mom growing up since my dad was always in and out of jail for crack I think. My mom also yelled a lot at my sister and I about keeping the house clean. She was an ok cook but she didn't pack me lunches most of the time and I hated the school food so I would often be very hungry at school which probably had an affect on my learning. Then I would come home and eat of lot of junk food before she got off work. The thing I resent most about her is that she never really encouraged me. Instead of sitting down with me to
  3. Hey Alvaro, glad you are deciding to make positive change and being honest with yourself about addiction. I used to smoke weed too, for 15 years and have been gaming for 25 (just recently decided to quit again.) I relate with you on using these addictions as a psychological crutch, to avoid your natural feelings and ignore your problems. I think the two addictions are very similar at least for me because part of me truly does love weed and video games, but another part realizes that the only way to accomplish the things I want to do even more is to cut them out entirely. I am also a very compu
  4. There could be many factors that could cause you to be tired. What time do you wake up? Do you get much exercise? Personally I work as a school bus driver so I take long naps almost every weekday lol, but on weekends I rarely ever do as I am able to get as much sleep as I need. I think naps can be healthy as long as they don't upset your sleep cycle so perhaps try taking them a bit earlier in the day.
  5. It's up to you but I would say that if you have decided to stop gaming, remind yourself of the reasons you quit. I wouldn't do it personally.
  6. Thanks for replying to my journal. Glad to hear that your journey is going well. What brought about your interested in coding? I used to think I wanted to learn coding so I could make a video game, but the further I got into it, the more I didn't like it- too complicated lol. I do admire people who can code though as I have always had an interest in technology.
  7. So... here I am again. It has been over a year and a half since I did my first 90 day detox. Shortly thereafter I caved and bought a new game that greatly appealed to me the day it came out and have played it almost every day since, which led to playing other games as well. I still haven't achieved all the things I wanted to do in the game. Some of the big achievements I am actually very close to completing but tonight I decided that I'm done. I don't consider gaming a waste of time because I genuinely enjoy each moment of gaming, and I want to keep playing, but there are other things I d
  8. I'm a little over a month without games now. Honestly I don't even miss them that much. I have become much more focused on achieving my goals. I'm not really watching movies anymore either. I did have a relapse into drugs and porn for a few days but I feel that I learned from it. One thing I am realizing is that I am the most important person in my life. It seems silly to write it, like it should be obvious, but I think that for a long time I was way too nice to others when I should have been nicer to myself. I do sort of have one old friend- used to be my best friend back in the day. Sometime
  9. I like this. I already kind of do this... it has been more of a fantasy but now that I'm starting to make steps to turn my life around, perhaps it might actually happen. So, I definitely want to live in a house somewhere out in the country- I'm thinking Northern California. I know it's a lot to wish for but might as well dream big right? I wake up in the morning with some beautiful girl. I don't really care about marriage and I'm not interested in having children, but it would be nice to have a girlfriend. We go for a walk in the woods or by the beach, perhaps go fishing, then come home
  10. The first thing that comes to mind is my own body. I do have some health issues but I am still grateful for what I have and am working to become healthier. I am grateful for where I live. Sometimes when I get really stressed out by my job or living situation I have to remember this. At least I have food and a roof over my head. I am very grateful to all the artists and musicians which I adore. Art and music has saved me so many times and continues to help me to grow and be a better person.
  11. Thanks for the comment James. I actually haven't had much trouble with Youtube (except for sometimes- read next paragraph) since I quit games because pretty much all I watched on there was gaming stuff. I still watch music videos but I don't feel bad about that. What gets me is binge watching tv shows... I recently got good internet which is a blessing and a curse. It can be hard to tell myself I am only going to watch one or two episodes and actually follow through but I am working on it. I decided for sure that I am going to try the no-fap thing for 90 days and see what happens.
  12. It has been 2 weeks since I quit video games, and while I have been more productive, I still have some more bad habits to break. I have been drawing/painting more which is good, but I have also been watching too many movies in place of playing games. I don't even like movies as much as games so it doesn't really make sense for me to be doing this. I quit games so that I could accomplish more, not just sit around and watch movies. I am setting a limit for myself of watching only one movie on days that i have off and no movies on work days. I am allowing myself to watch one episode of a sho
  13. Welcome John. I feel a lot of similarities in my story and yours. Sending you and everyone else on this site thoughts of strength to get through this.
  14. Hello everyone. I recently decided to quit playing video games. Although I still enjoy them very much a lot of the time, I am unhappy with where I am in life and I want to do everything I can to change that. I am a 31 year old male. I live at my mom's house and work at Walmart as a cart pusher. I have no girlfriend or even anyone else that I enjoy spending time with. I have no one to talk to about this but I think it might help to get support so that is why I'm here. I smoked weed on and off (mostly on) since I was 16, but I quit that 4 months ago and I am starting to get some motivation