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NEW VIDEO: Psychologist's WARNING About VIDEO GAMES

Le North Dreamer

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Everything posted by Le North Dreamer

  1. Well, 90 days of detox later, here I am, no relapse so far, positive attitude! Although work has been a pain lately, the rest of my life is going just fine without gaming! Will definitely continue on this path for the time being! Good luck to you fellow game quitters.
  2. @Twin @Pochatok, thank you for your insight. After thinking about it a bit more and having a deeper look into my reactions before, during and after playing tabletop RPGs, I can safely say that so far, my brain seems to somewhat completely separate tabletop rpgs from gaming and playing tabletop RPGs has not given me a lot of urges to play video games. I do get a similar excitement as when playing video games, but I seem to perceive these 2 activities differently. I'll keep track of urges, and Pochatok, I'll make sure to have a set fallback so I can resist any urge that comes in. So far the RPGs triggered a need to chill out after the sessions, so hopefully it just stays this way! Thanks for the feedback!
  3. Hey Hai, Don't take offense - I'm not sure how old you are and will give you my 32 yo POV. I fully echo Po's take - relationships change over time and you should not be afraid to end bad friendships. These 2 "friends" don't seem like friends at all to me and you should definitely consider cutting off the ties, especially as these "friends" seem to be gaming friends. I have no clue how old your "friends" are but the behaviour you highlighted seems quite childish to me and should not warrant your attention, as hard as it can be to ignore others. Trolls, abusive and nasty ppl should have no place in your life, and you'll have to learn the subtle art of not giving a damn about such ppl. All the best!
  4. You nailed it for the most part I believe. I'm exactly like you - find something new of interest, dive 110% into it for a couple of weeks or until I feel like I'm getting good, then interest wears off a bit and I slow down (or even drop out for a while). OTOH, I do not believe that most people are like that, though, at least from looking at my close relatives and friends. I would say I'm the closest example and I have 1 or 2 friends that are a bit like that, but that's it. I would not go as far as calling this behaviour addiction, at least when it is not creating problems in your life or when the activity is beneficial to you. E.g. I've started learning piano a month ago and have put A LOT of hours and efforts into it because it is the personality type you outlined that kicks in. I don't consider it an addiction (although you may call it a healthy addiction). Your pet peeves about ppl calling out others on their addictions while they themselves have some resonates with me. A lot of us have addictions that we don't recognize as such (work, tv, phone, to name a few). I've never liked being called out on my addiction (gaming) or on my tendency to be intense when I start a new project or activity (piano, hunting, etc.) as I agree with you, who are these people to call out my addiction(s) while they have some to start with. BUT at the end of the day, if someone calls you out on your addiction, I believe it is because they care for you and want to make sure that you are happy and healthy. So I no longer fuss about it. Lucky you for being able to have control over your gaming. I'm 32, quite in control of every aspects of my life, and still cannot to this day game in moderation. I always end up in the same pattern that you and I described above: I'll game more and more to get better a new game until I get bored. Rinse and repeat with a new game, or even with a game I haven't played in months/years. So quitting felt like the thing to do for me. I understand that for you gaming is a stress reliever that you can control: i'm happy for you as I'd love to be able to relieve stress from my job while gaming, but I can't even if I have a ton of other interests in life, and have found other ways to do so (music, learning, other activities). Anyhow, just wanted to chime in and give my perspective as your post resonated with me. Cheers!
  5. Hey Bird, Although it is about a completely different subject (personal finance and FIRE movement), I belong and feel deeply attached to the Mister Money Mustache ("MMM") community (the forum). I read through most of the MMM blog posts a couple of years ago and jumped eagerly into the forum, where thousands of human beings from around the world (mostly US) exchange on the topic of personal finance, investing, financial independence and early retirement. My exposure to the MMM blog and community has forever changed my outlook on personal finance and I'm am profoundly appreciative and grateful to have found them early in my life. I would never go back to my financial self of before MMM...I've never been less stressed by money than every single day of the last couple of years ;). The community is now very diverse given the important exposure that the founder, Pete (MMM), was subject to in the last couple of years - there are high earners and high NW individals as well as low earners and in debt individuals, all looking towards the same goal: achieving financial indepence (and maybe retire early). To answer your questions, it is a forum (no video/sound interaction), culture is very supportive once you accept that you may get facepunches for certain bad financial habits (for your own good), you can basically get info on all financial aspects of your life and how to improve them, it is a healthy community, completely free. As the GQ community is, I believe, quite young in terms of average age, I'd be very happy if only one of us ends up benefiting from this shared experience and take on the path towards FI (or FIRE). It is a sometimes difficult but liberating experience, just like quitting games is. Cheers!
  6. Hi folks, I'm more than 30 days in my detox and feeling great about it, the cravings have not been as frequent nor as intense as I thought they would be, which is helpful. I used to play D&D with a group of friends IRL until the pandemic hit us. Wanting to go back to tabletop RPGs while staying safely at home, I just started a D&D game with strangers using roll20 (2hrs weekly), and I'm having a blast! I'm also planning to do some one-offs or maybe embark on another RPG campaign (star wars) with IRL friends through the same website (roll20), virtually. All of this got me thinking - Is playing a tabletop RPG virtually considered "gaming"? Am I putting myself at risk of going back to gaming by doing this? Should I carefully analyse my RPG consumption to ensure I do not drift into addiction territory? While I'd like your honest opinion/perspective, I can assure you that I haven't been consumed by this and am still living quite a balanced life in the circumstances, and I'm not planning on putting all my energies on this fun adventure. All in all, looks like a fun hobby to me, just like learning the piano or other projects I'm taking on or might embark on in the upcoming weeks. Feels like if it does not take over all my free time, I should be able to indulge into this activity and grab the benefits it gives me (social activity, rewarding experience, fun, etc.). Any thoughts? Anyone also on the fence about playing tabletop RPGs?
  7. Spot on, Po! @Moonlight, I would add the following, and you may already know this: it may sound rude, but sometimes you have to limit the amount of f*cks you give about other people's opinion, even the ones close to you. I know there are some books out there on this subject, but at the end of the day, you know what's best for you more than anyone else and not giving a f*ck about what others think can be quite uplifting. Looking forward to hear more from you. I just reached the 30 days' mark in my detox and feel great about it - hoping its the same for you!
  8. Congrats for seing the problem before it became a bigger part of your life, and for taking the right steps to control it! Welcome to the community.
  9. Welcome Pochatok! Same issue here (writing from my self-built gaming rig). If you haven't done it yet, uninstalling every single game and platform (steam, blizzard, uplay, epic, etc.) is a very good idea + giving away or deleting your accounts. I'm tempted not to sell my gaming computer for now as I'm working from home and using it on a daily basis, but could definitely sell it and get a less powerful one to ensure I don't game anymore. If the issue comes up I'll consider it. For now its a super powerful game-free work computer ;). Anyhow, good luck on your journey.
  10. I'm a huge consumer of music. My spotify account generates playlists out of my current and past listenings, and here and there a playlist with video game soundtracks pops up. Just listening to video game soundtracks makes me want to play and brings up the possibility of a relapse - my mind even goes into the "it wouldn't be so bad" territory sometimes. I was never a big fan of e-sports or twitch, but I'm guessing that it would have the same effect as listening to video game soundtracks: getting me closer and closer to relapsing, which I don't want at this time. You know yourself better than any of us so be your own judge and figure out if it is a good idea for you.
  11. Welcome Chris. I relate a lot to your story - I deeply enjoy gaming and still have a stable life (pregnant GF, stable job and finance, etc.). Yet, gaming was taking too much of my time and as for you, preventing me from doing things I deeply wanted to do, and feeling full of shame about it. Anyhow, I tried moderating my gaming hours without much success in the past. As gaming fills up a lot of needs, your mind will play tricks on you to push you to continue fulfilling those needs instead of accepting moderation. If you haven't tried to set up limits and moderate your gaming, go ahead and try. I deeply wish it will work for you as it would allow you to retain this enjoyable part of your life. Side note - I started learning piano since stopping video games and it's going quite well - you'd be suprised by the amout of hours you have in your hands once you no longer game, or at least moderate gaming... Cheers mate!
  12. Welcome Darth and good luck on your journey!
  13. A warm welcome to both of you, you are not alone in this! We all have our reasons to quit - I'm about to be a dad and don't want to be haunted by the gaming shadows while playing with my soon to arrive daughter. And I want to enjoy life in general! Cheers mates!
  14. Welcome to the club, Slime! Alcool was also linked to my gaming habits (drinking alone in front of a computer is not super sexy). I decided to quit gaming but did not quit alcool (at least for now) - I don't consider that I have a problem with alcool as I can go without it for weeks if I want to. Same could not be said about gaming so I quit gaming 😉 Anyhow, godspeed on this new journey, may you enjoy the ride!
  15. Hey Moonlight, Welcome to the community. I struggled with a bit of anxiety and sadness in the first couple of days of detox, especially when I was giving away all my accounts and passwords, letting clan members know that I was quitting (basically saying goodbye), etc. These are completely normal feelings that you have to accept and live through. Just keep at it, it ends up going away (sooner or later depending on your personality - I'm 18 days into the detox and feeling great at this time). As for others' reaction, I guess confusion can be part of it as they know you as an enthusiast gamer. My family and friends reacted quite well to my choice. My GF was the one who suprised me the most by hinting that I did not really have to do this (quitting), and could focus on reducing instead of quitting. I simply explained to her the deeper motives and she fully supports my choice. So clearly explaining why you are doing this should help to mitigate reactions around you. Godspeed on your new journey and may the force be with us!
  16. I've read a couple of comments on the forum about ppl having issues with their sleeping paterns during the detox so you are definitely not the only one. I've been lucky so far, quitting games seems to have been beneficial to my own sleeping cycle so far (11 days in). Even though I'm in a stressed period at work and working long hours, my sleeping cycle seems to be better than when I was gaming. I'm mostly experiencing full nights of sleep, awaking naturally with the sun coming up. It feels great. I hope your body will find its own pace in the next couple of days so that everything goes back to normal. Cheers mate!
  17. Awsome goals, mate! Godspeed on your journey and may the force be with you!
  18. Welcome fellow new member and godspeed on your new journey! I also sold my switch last week and bought a keyboard piano with a portion of the proceeds of the sale. Quite happy about that so far! About watching videos, I had a similar problem through facebook (I would scroll and watch completely useless videos like fail army or stuff like that). I decided to simply get rid of my account and god it has been good!! I know youtube is always accessible but with focus you should be able to recognize the patern and stop it as soon as you get into it. Cheers!
  19. Funny that you mention KSP - one of the most hearthbreaking parts of quitting games for me is not being able to play KSP2 when it comes out next year (that and updates to Satisfactory). All these FPS/battle royale games for sure were a waste, except maybe the ones played with IRL friends, but even then, there's better activities to do with IRL friends!
  20. Going to read this journal of yours, as your story is my story!
  21. Thanks codepants - 100% agree, not every single hour of gaming was a waste, but for sure a good portion of the thousands was, at least for me. I remember scrolling through my Steam library just looking for something else to play when I was getting bored with games I was playing at that time... Intruments and sports are still within reach if you put in the time and energy! I'm an ex-saxophonist and am now learning keyboard. What a blast!! Cheers mate!
  22. Thank Commissar! Very happy to have found this website community to help me in the process, it has already been quite a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I'll dive deeper in the forums to see how others have coped with it.
  23. Hi folks, 32 yo Canadian male, pretty happy with where I'm at professionally and financially, about to be a dad (quite happy about that)!! Gaming has been part of my life all the way down to the SNES/early 90s pc games, when I was a kid. It then evolved when I discovered CS Source, RTS games, city builders, more and more FPS, up to the battle royale genre. I built my own computer (that was fun and a cool learning experience), spending thousands of dollars on it 4 years ago. More recently I sunk a lot of time into Satisfactory and Factorio, neverending games that ended up taking a whole portion of my waking hours (on top of working + living). Last week I dropped off Factorio in the early morning hours and was still thinking about designs when trying to find sleep next to my pregnant GF. This is when I thought to myself that I needed to stop this madness, found this website and enrolled into the Respawn program. Now that I think about it, I must have had a problematic relationship with gaming even when I was a kid, putting loads of hours in it, but it did not prevent me from realizing some important milestones in life (getting a degree, have a stable relationship leading to having a kid in the upcoming months, having stable finances, etc.) While I can say that gaming has not been the destroying force that it can be for certain persons, it definitely had an important grasp on my life for the last couple of years and I am now ready to recognize the paterns that lead me to gaming in the past: fun was the inital spark, challenge was also a driver (i loved being top fragger in FPSs, winning battle royale games), but it also sneakily became a way for me to temporarily escape stress or life situations with which I didn't want to deal with emotionaly. Now that I took the opportunity to look back on it all, I also realized how many hours of my life I sunk in these games. Thousands!!! Thousands of hours that could have been put to better use, learning real-life things, or simply enjoying life outside the virtual world. One small portion of James' background story on episode 2 of the podcast was a revelation to me - he mentions at some point that he used to have worries about not finding the time to play video games when he would have kids, and how it is completely sick to think this way. I had these thoughts in the past, even more recently when the concept of being a dad became more and more real to me. I do not want to be a dad who thinks about playing video games when spending time with my kids, I want to be able to fully enjoy the moment and give my kids the best I can give them! I haven't gamed in 2 days now, and today I deleted all games from my gaming rig, passed down all my accounts to my brother, messaged the boys and girls of my clan on discord to let them know what I was doing, formatted the Switch which I will put for sale. All of this was harder than I thought it would be, I'm still feeling uneasy about closing the book on something that I thought for so long was an important part of me, but thinking again about the kind of person I want to be and all the projects I want to accomplish in life, this is definitely the way to go for me. So cheers to you all, and looking forward to this new journey in my life! Le North Dreamer