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Gaming the System 006 - James' First 30 Days As a Digital Nomad in Thailand!

JanG

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  1. 16/04/18 - Day 30 Diary Not been sticking around the forums as much lately, but take it as a good sign. I've become more independent in my attempt to become a non-gamer, and i dont require the community i found here as much. I don't think too much about gaming anymore and im really happy about it. I figured i would come back since its my one month anniversary. I've been having a few withdrawals the last couple of days, itching to play games like rimworld and dwarf fortress. But i have been resisting them no problem lately. Just figured its something to put in the diary. Good luck to all ya all, and to the few friends i've gotten here, im still looking once in a while, just not with the same vigor i used to.
  2. 03/04/18 - Day 18 Diary Not much happened yesterday, but i'm starting a diet today or tomorrow. Haven't really decided yet. It's Keto and i've done it before, and the introductory period is so much nicer when you have done some preparation. Not much new since yesterday. But im still truckin on!
  3. If you make some, put em up here, would love to see them
  4. 02/04/18 - Day 17 Diary Oh wow i got a long break from my computer, hence the reason i haven't been keeping up lately. A little over a week ago i packed my computer down to make desk-space to play some boardgames with some mates. Didn't get around to pack out my PC again afterwards, as i wasnt using it that much after quitting gaming. Went to visit my parents at their vacation home during the easter. Came back some days ago, but kept busy with more board games, more cooking and a lot of reading and many walks. In the last week i've decided to start studying again this summer, and find a job as whatever i can get until then to earn some monays. Gonna contact an agency tomorrow and see how it goes, as its still closed for easter. Im very happy to be back at the forums. @BigOlBeartic THanks man, yeah i have been battling with low self-esteem all my life. But unfortunately its not as easy as just persuading oneself. :/
  5. Just checking in. Been a busy few days. Will make a decent entry later
  6. 24/03/18 - Day 8 Diary Yesterday was pretty decent, i met up with my father for coffee and croissants. Great time, and got to talk about some stuff in my future. Today im meeting up with a couple pals to cook the shit out of some fancy fish. Cant wait its gonna be great. Diary of thoughts Gave myself the day off completely. But i feel like i've lost my drive for the day being atleast. Instead of getting up early and take a shower and some meditation (headspace app) and go for a walk, i just dragged myself to my sofa and watched some netflix, for some hours. Now that im looking at it in retrospect, i think i forgot how to relax without gaming. Its only a couple hours of entertainment before my friends come over, and i probably shouldn't feel to guilty about it right? Grateful (atleast 3) Past me have been very good at planning social events this weekend, so im reaping the benefits now. My apartment is almost squeeky clean. Bedsheets and windows could use a hand, but thats about it Started reading a book about perfectionism, thanks @Arch Ungrateful (up to 3) Still feel guilty about some work ethics stuff.
  7. Thanks a lot Arch, will give it a look right away!
  8. Hey again friend, and grats on the two months! I can only come with experience from my life. I have a group of IRL mates that go back 6-7 years. So we've known eachother for quite a while. Now the humor in this group is often at somebodies expense. It's always have been and i guess we have just stuck to it. Some people are more often the expense of a joke than others, but most people take a beating at some point. However at a party some months ago a friend dragged me aside, and said he was uncomfortable with how often he was made fun of. It took me completely unawares, since this is how "humor" had been handled in that group for the past many years. He's a great friend and ever since i've been conscious about not hurting his feelings, because thats not the point of it, the entire point of making fun was to make people laugh. I had just assumed it was fine because it seemed that way. My point is that there's quite a good chance that they don't realise that it makes you uncomfortable to be made fun of. From here i see two solutions Talk with them/him about it, and hope that he understands. However this might be too intimate if you are 'new' friends. Accept that there's a good chance that they aren't intentionally calling you out to harm you. Just trying to have fun. This one is a little hard, as it can be quite difficult persuading youself to let it slide, instead of taking offense. Even on a subconscious level. Good luck with it
  9. 23/03/18 - Day 7 Diary Heyo! Anniversary day! I can't believe it's only been a week. Time truly moves slower without gaming, im not complaining though :) Yesterday i went to the last of the three interviews. Unfortunately they didn't want me. I had the feeling pretty early in the interview that the interviewer had made his mind before i came in, but wanted to give it a shot anyway. We talked for quite a while, and i learned a few things about being employed in a place like theirs. It wasn't too bad, but now its almost weekend. Got a few arrangements filled up, so i can enjoy my weekend being social with friends. Gonna cook some delicious food on saturday and play Gloomhaven on sunday! Diary of thoughts I still feel beat down, i applied for a bunch of jobs a couple weeks ago, which resulted in me having three interviews this week alone, and to be honest i have been dreading them. I admitted to myself that im probably underqualified. I was looking forward to get it over with, not get a job, and then working as a temp somewhere else until summer so i can start studying or something. But yesterday i got a new invite to another interview, and i should be happy about, but at the same time i feel like i already know how it will work out, and i don't wanna go through this again just for the sake of doing it. It wouldn't be until after easter, and i cant really go about getting a temp job before im done interviewing? Maybe i could. i don't know. Grateful (atleast 3) Weekend is almost upon us, and i will spend it with great people! Might go somewhere to spend easter, don't know yet. Getting mah pappa on visit for coffee this afternoon, gonna be great! Grateful about this community, honestly guys, it fills my heart comming here. Ungrateful (up to 3) Still trying to deal with the procrastination. Here in DK we had 2 days that signaled that spring had begun, but it was just a bait :( Responds @Tycoon Thanks for the words. I did a lot of thinking about the worst possible outcome, and put plainly it's the exact same situation as im already in, being jobless. I think some of the doubt/guilt comes from fear of dissapointing the parents you know? @BigOlBeartic, @Pierce, @Cam Adair Yeah you are right, most of the time the "pain" goes away when you actually get started. And thanks for the kind words pierce
  10. Hey guys. I recently got the idea that i might suffer from a pretty big fear of failure. I think im a perfectionist, but not in a good way, i worry too much about everything i do, and every assignment. To the point were it's hurting my ability to even start on projects. Have any of you felt this way, and/or do you know a good way to work on it?
  11. 22/03/18 - Day 6 Diary Another day, another interview. By the end of the week i should have a decent amount of experience huh? :D The interview yesterday went pretty well. I think they liked me as a person, but were still kinda on the fence about my technical skills. I choked a bit during the in-interview code questions, i guess i've been reliant on figuring out solutions with the help of the internet, that im unpracticed in comming up with convincing solutions on the spot. I didn't beat myself up too much, but i could feel i was dissapointed in myself. They send me home with a code test i have to send them at some point, but i can feel an aura of anxiety about it. Today i got yet another interview, and i don't feel too nervous about it to be honest. It's also later in the day compared to the rest, so might be just because it's not "around the corner" yet. Diary of thoughts I still have that stupid anxiety about programming. Specifically the code test they gave me. I received it in an email, and i haven't opened it yet. Not because im not interested. I guess im scared of not being able to complete it or something of the like, and like schrodingers cat i dont know if i will pass or fail if i just dont look. I guess not completing it will be a fail aswell, so now im trying to measure when it would be acceptable to complete it. I don't know why i do this. Is this the sort of stuff you go into therapy for? From my point of view it just seems that im being an immature kid, but i cant seem to change myself. Grateful (atleast 3) Went to visit a friend after the interview yesterday. I've mostly talked with him online, and i hadn't actually seen where he lived. Was nice and we planned to cook together saturday Told my mom i aint playing games anymore. Made it sound like a casual decision, which is what i wanted. Weekend soon, and i can chill with some mates for some days. Will be nice Ungrateful (up to 3) Still have the anxiety about programming, need to figure out a way to control it Responds @BigOlBearticI like the advice, but the issue is i can't make myself do the first 5 minutes. I feel scared of them. It sounds stupid but i just meet an internal resistance when i think about doing it. I know it's a long shot, but have any advice on solving that?
  12. Consider that maybe your actual friends had nothing to do with the invites. For them its just as awkward. They for sure knew you weren't invited, and for them it's not nice trying to force the rest of the group to invite you just so they dont have to carry the guilt of you not being invited. It's an awkward place for multiple people here, and i suggest you dont put too much thought on it. There's also the chance that they know you well enough, that you wouldn't be interested. All in all dont blame them too much. I think you should own up to it, you don't have to forgive yourself of it, but atleast recognize this is something that you have done, and you aren't proud of it. Maybe you still feel a lot of regret, but don't try and supress your past and imagine it never happened. Fact is that you gamed way too much for way too long, and thats just how it is. Whats wrong with people knowing that about you? There's multiple flaws that pains people's past, some are gambling, some are addicts of different kinds and probably many more things. That doesnt mean i judge them, if they actively know it was bad for them and have quit.
  13. 21/03/18 - Day 5 Diary Yesterday i went to the first job interview of the three i have this week. And in my opinion the interview went pretty well, however i had a misunderstanding of what the job actually consisted of. They needed a person who knew about programming, to be their support and customer relations person in that branch. So you would know the technicalities about the customers problems, but the actual developers wouldn't be bothered by phone calls. I think i showed some dissapointment during the interview which ofcourse isn't great, and im not sure the job is right for. However thinking about it i think i've warmed more up to it, as it is a place where i can get my foot in, so to speak. Other than that i kinda wasted my day yesterday, i bought some items i neede for my home, and then just hanged around, talking with mates on discord and watching shit on the internet. Not too proud of that. Today i have another job interview, and for some reason i'm way more nervous about this one, than the one yesterday. Diary of thoughts I still feel kinda anxious about programming, and i want it gone. It must be something subconscious at this point. I have a decent/shitty idea i wanna do to learn a new javascript framework, but for some reason i deep down really dont want to get started. My leading theory is just resistance, i feel stressed about the job interviews, the job interviews is all about programming, and for that reason i find resistance when i want to do some programming at home. The issue with this is that im stubborn, i keep insisting i should start, but i never actually do begin. This ends up with me procrastinating for quite a while instead of just giving up, and do something else productive. Grateful Job interview went great yesterday, they will call me back before the week is up. Im glad that i got out both days while the weather was good. Job interviews will be over soon. Ungrateful I feel bad that this is so tolling on me, it should be a joy applying for a job, but its just misery. The weather is shit again I hate that i had a non-productive day yesterday, maybe i should try and have a plan-b hobby when my programming shuts off.
  14. Glad i could help you out mate, best of luck with it
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