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Alagos

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  1. I was hoping if i went 90 days without video games i would cure my chronic fatigue and depression but its on day 14 now and i know thats not much but its very frustrating to see ZERO benefits despite feeling awful all the time. I think i am just inherently a depressed angry person and there is no way around it. At least with the video games i felt good sometimes even though they also made me angry and depressed and anxious, but without the games i feel just as bad if not worse.
  2. Hey bro I used to be a huge SWTOR addict too. I started in beta and was pretty good at it. I'm a huge star wars fan and I loved the kotor games and I LOVED SWTOR. I am glad to be out of it though. I enjoyed the gameplay and story and made some good friends, but pretty much all guilds in MMOs Ive found are very toxic, lots of backstabbing, drama, power tripping, bragging, putting people down - felt like I was in the Sith Empire for real! I think theres just something about online video games, and just the internet in general that turn people into cunts, or just bring it out of them. In general I find mmos and people online pretty toxic and it felt good to quit swtor and only played single player games for a while, but now I am trying to cure my chronic fatigue and stomach problems and I think stress is the biggest factor, so I use Cold Turkey to block all video games and video game websites and this program is very strict, its got me locked in for 90 days and the only way to bypass it is to format my hard drive and do a clean install of windows xD Thats how it is with MMos though, even though we have done everything, they are designed to keep us addicted and the stimulation and toxicity from people online is absolute hell for our mental health! Glad you are back on the light side of the force xD
  3. Today is day 14 for me! Nice to be in the double digits! 90 is double digits too which is my goal xD I've noticed this past week I've been having nights where I dream I am playing video games. Like last night I dreamt I was playing Mass Effect, which is weird I don't even like the ME games and I have no desire to play them, but I guess my addiction is desperate for any game so it wants to play it in my dream xD I remember in my dream I was playing it and then I was like "oh crap I'm supposed to stop gaming, I'm gonna have to reset my counter!!! I can't stop!!! Ugh, well, since I'm going to have to reset my counter anyways, may as well play a bit now xD" but luckily it was just a dream! Hoping to make it to January 5.
  4. I agree you have to not only quit playing video games, but also remove all video game content otherwise it will only tempt you to play. Video game reviewers and streamers are basically advertisements for games. Even though content creators just do it to make money, the game companies love it cos it gives their game advertisement/exposure without them having to pay anything!
  5. I just want to cry i hate life without video games!!! but if i play video games i feel overly stressed, but i also have horrible anxiety without video games. I am having a couple beers to try to calm myself cos i figure its better to have a couple beers now than break my game free streak. Im gonna try to tough it out to 90 days, tbh i dont think ill make it 90 but ill try my best. I know there are 60+ hobbies out there, but all those things sound boring to me and i dont want to do any of them!!!! I keep having memories of final fantasy and Skyrim and bannerlord and it feels like the biggest piece of me is missing!
  6. By chance I forgot to block the subreddit for one of the video games I used to play and when I noticed it I started browsing the sub and then I made a couple posts about my thoughts on the game, and oh boy i was so tempted - but then I got a hold of myself and I blocked the subreddit with Cold Turkey. It's scary to think I could have relapsed. I'm only 4 days in this time, but determined to make it to 90! January 5th will be 90 days for aka a new birthday for me!!!
  7. I agree thanks! Yeah the first couple days I was G'd up like "Yeah i got this im gonna cure my chronic fatigue by quitting depression" - but yesterday (day 4) I had a full on mental breakdown. The biggest mistake I made in the past was when I saw that I felt like crap even after quitting, I would go back to playing games thinking "oh i feel like crap anyways, may as well game" but I need to learn to persist and see this through to 90 days for long term results rather than expecting changes within a few days!!! KARMA YOGA - focusing on actions rather than results!!
  8. Just wondering, tbh my longest streak so far was only like 2.5 weeks, but then I fell into a trap of thinking "oh i will just play a low stress casual game" but it is a TRAP and it sucked me into full on addiction again!! Learned my lesson, going for zero video games for 90 days. Before I was planning to take a break from quitting and play cyberpunk next month, but even though I been very excited for that game, i said F it, curing my health problems is more important and there is no doubt video games are one of the biggest factors that got me in this mess. Im on day 2 now, getting horrible withdrawals, irritibility, depression, fatigue - I feel awful. The last time I went back to games I was feeling just like this and then I saw as soon as I played games I felt better, but its A TRAP!!! NO doubt my subconcious is trying to trick me into playing games again. the withdrawals get worse and worse for me each day, eventually it gets to a point where I feel like my brain is going to implode and I will just disappear, and it is very very painful and uncomfortable, but I can see I have no choice and I have to see this through....THIS IS THE WAY!!!
  9. Well i got super bored and thouhgt id dip my toes in a light game and sure enough it sucked me into full on gaming addiction for past few weeks. Finally it got to the point where my chronic fatigue, insomnia and digestive symptoms were flaring up and I finally couldn't take it anymore and activated my game blocking software (cold turkey) Before I was planning to do 90 days and then game responsibly, but i think its clear that for whatever reason, whether its how im wired or what, video games are toxic for me and I need to quit 100%! One reason I like to game is because I like to fantasize as a character. I was thinking since video games are bad for me, maybe I could get into the tabletop RPGs where you create your own character, story etc, but it's mostly done through imagination and is more like a board game, which is allowed by cam and doesn't have all the dopamine spiking graphics and sounds and gameplay loops designed to keep you addicted and over stimulated. Also i was thinking maybe if i really got into RPGs I could make a model of my character and just play with it like a toy, like when I was a kid! I miss being a kid, I didn't have so many highly intensive video games and social media and etc. Today I went for a short bike ride to the park and just sat there in the nice weather and it felt good just to be outside and pretend I was a kid again! And with the model i make of my rpg character I can just look at it and use my imagination to play as him!
  10. right on makes sense! Yeah i notice since i've started this journey my place is a lot cleaner and I'm doing small projects like actually cleaning my shower and getting new curtains and I'm planning to get and install a new shower head cos the one i have is disgusting, I'm planning to buy a nice quality one to make showers more enjoyable! Btw I like the quote in your sig, better to live with false hope than false despair, so true! Kanye west is insane, but the fact that he believes in himself so much, even at an insane level, is a huge factor in his success
  11. They seem to hit me the hardest in the noon time. I just feel so fatigued and my whole body aches. I'm about a month in. The cravings have gotten easier, looking at how far I've come I don't have the desire to play games and since I've been game free this long I realize even though gaming has been my identity for so many years (I am 32), I'm not a huge fan of video games. I like them for story telling, but I do not enjoy the challenge and how they make me stressed out. I mostly like RPG type games for the immersive and story telling experience, but at the same time I get very angry and stressed out during challenging parts and after being quit of games for this long I find myself a lot more relaxed which is nice. I also spent too many years in MMOs and I felt that was very toxic cos people tend to be jerks online and it's nice to be free from that too! However I have been physically and mentally addicted to video games and the withdrawals are HARD. Video games were my stimulation for all these years and without them I feel so tired, I just lay in bed tired and wired and fatigued and aching and it's AWFUL. My goal is to make it to November 18. That will be just over 90 days for me and it will be the day before Cyberpunk releases. That is the only game I really look forward to in 2020. I don't feel tempted to play anything now cos looking at all my games none of them seem worth getting stressed out over right now! Excited for CP cos i do like cd projekt red on principle and it should be a good RPG and i'm excited to immerse in a new high quality story and universe and I plan to go into it fresh without any reviews or guides on youtube and just enjoy and discover it all for myself!