WorkInProgress

Well best of luck. If you really want to think about it and need a second perspective on stuff. We are here to listen

Hi there. I am alwas happy to see new journals. If you have any questions or need support just ask here or per email. I would be happy to help :).

Sure thing. Let us hear how it goes.

Thanks for sharing your thought process. I was always wondering what the sometimes weird and extreme posts where about. Seems like you think a lot about stuff. Most people would think of one reason someone answered maybe two or three. But sheesh that's a lot of thoughtfullness. Your sometimes cryptic entry's make it hard to support you on a meaningful way but seem to help you to guide you through your own mind. That's fine. If you'll actually need some extra input just ask for it and I am happy to give you some feedback or lend you my (sometimes limited brain) for some time. Best of luck man!

Welcome back. I hope you keep sharing ehre even if you haven't drunk tequila! Best of luck. If you'll need help or feedback feel free to ask. As you see we are a pretty active forum these days and I am sure we can find solutions together.

Welcome back!

Heavy stuff. It is great that you're working these things out in therapy. Also it is great that you don't let the anger and regret overcome you. They are just destructive forces in a way which will hinder you to accept the present and deal with it optimally. It is ok to feel them and maybe to use them to be better today.

Don't worry about repetition. We are all happy to read a daily update. As far as motivation goes I found out that is kind of impossible for me to get motivated by thinking myself inot it (be it fear or imagined glory). The only way I get motivated is ironically by start doing it. A little trick which sometimes help is to start really small but to start. Like 10 minutes of studying. It is ok if you stop afterwards. But most of the time you'll find out that the lacking motivation wasn't the problem and you just needed to start. Write your gaming buddys that you doing a 3month detox and it doesn't matter what they say you won't game until then, but that you'll be happy to talk to them on gaming unrelated topics. If they don't understand try to mute them and get rid of them for this time. This is really not helping you.

Congratulations on the week. We are all rooting for you!

Great book. Started it a while ago. Maybe I dust it off soon and go through it for real this time

Welcome to the forums, Good job on starting oyur journal here. I think persistence is key to this. Especially if your motivation fades it is important to have built healthy habits like daily journaling or similar things to keep you on an acceptable baseline. Stubborness is a great asset in this aspect of the game. The other side is still to strategize how you'll deal with problems if they come up. What do you do if you're sos tressed out that you can't imagine another solution but flgiht into a virtual reality? Make a plan and write it down. It doesn't have to be seomthing complicated. Maybe it is as simple as sit down and count to 100. The main thing is that you'll be proactive and think of posisble failures and ways how to deal with them. Deleting your games falls also in this category (making it very inconvenient to relapse). So I am excited to see your updates and am happy to support you in any way if you have questions. We got your back man.

Just try it out but be aware of the effect it has on you. If you don't see negative effects it doesn't matter if you game or not. If you start seeing shit happening you learned a lesson and know next time why you don't game. At least that was my approach to this issue. Right now I kind of am someone who doesn't game. It is just not me anymore. I don't think I would have come there without trying it out and see myself failing (binging instantly and falling back into shit habbits in the matter of days).

Yeah it is scary. Best of luck. I am looking forward to your journal if you decide to write one (helped me personally a lot).

I see how I have even more goals then this and to make sure where to focus I need a list of prioritisation. 1) Family: spent time wiht my wife and my son every day. Talk to everyone else in my family atleast once every 2weeks. 2) Carreer: Spent atleast 30min of my day on my actual project (alexa skills programming right now). 3) Social: talk or chat with everyone of the people I consider friends atleast once every two weeks. Try to find out something new about a aquaintance every week. Be interested in strangers. 4) Health: Reduce scratching by measuring it (today 4times), get rid of my nails routinely. Do the 10min work-out and stick to it. 5) Spiritual: Be thankful for what I have and enjoy my life (check at max. every 2hours and have a handy free sunday). Think about what is great in your life and what I am proud for every morning.

Detox: 16.10.2017 - 16.01.2018 Week 5 (23.11.2027-30.11.2017) Part 2 Still no sugar. 10min-Workouts this week: 1 To get to my goals I need small things I do consistently. It is the slight edge all over again. I'll do some figuring out. I need new goals now are after I got a job and my son and start to manage that quite well. So I take stock now and think about a good strategy for every goal. I want to become healthy and stay healthy until an old age. What does that mean exactly? I want to have good skin (not dry and itchy like now). I want to be almost never be sick (max. around 1week of bed time a year). I want to have no long-term pains (in muscles or elsewhere). I want to be able to run a half-marathon without walking. I want to be able to do 10 pull-ups without pause. I want to be able to do 50 push-ups without pause. I want to be able to do a free Where am I? My skin is extremly dry at some parts and I scratch it which doesn't let it heal properly. This is a constant strain on my body even if I don't actually feel this. I am allready very seldom sick, but I need to be careful not to develop pains in my back because of my incoming desk job. What do I do to reach this goal? 10min workout with burpees for conditioning and muscle building and hip-raises (bridge-progression) for my back. I don't eat sugar. I want to become handsome What does that mean exactly? I want to have a muscular body (somewhat like the transporter guy but less defined). I want to be clean shaven, tidy and well-clothed every day. Where am I? I am thin and have build some basic muscles but I have a pelvic-tilt and am still to scrawny. I also did gain some weight over the last year and build a little belly. I don't care too much for clothing and have not many fitting clothes (because I am hesitant to pay much money for them). I also like to wear comfortable clothes whihc look really bad. I shave my beard appr. times a week and my head appr. 1month. So I look most of the time not like a hobo :). I ahve no schedule for shaving other parts like my arm-pits and jsut do it occasionaly if it starts to bug me. What do I do to reach this goal? 10min workout with burpees for conditioning and muscle building and hip-raises (bridge-progression) for my back. I don't eat sugar. What can I do better? New rules: Joggin pants are only alowed if I work-out or stretch. Pyjamas only in the late evening if I have a comfy evening with my wife. I'll start to make schedule for personal hygene after my research (15min). Make shopping plans in my calendar and priorities expenses while focussing on quality and fit. 10min workout with burpees for conditioning and muscle building and hip-raises (bridge-progression) for my back. I don't eat sugar. What can I do better? stay consistent wiht this and reserach more on the skin issue to find better solutions (I start a 30min session after this entry) I want to become rich What does that mean exactly? I want to have more passive income then expences Where am I? I am living form month to month and still relying on money from ym dad until my first real job in january starts. I let my wife do all the taxes and paper-work wiht the government because I have no clue how to do else and doesn't want to make the time to learn it properly. I don't exactly now our expenses and lhave no passive income. What do I do to reach this goal? working a few hours a week in a supermarket to make some extra cash until my full-time gig starts. Thinking about how to excell at my job and learning new skills. What can I do better? Learn more about my taxes and other fincancial stuff. Start saving for a little passive income out of the savings. Be awesome at my new job and get as muhc experiences as possible to justify more money with the same time later on.

As it doesn't influence their life ina bad way they are not addicted. I am sure they could do things whihc would help them more but if they like to obsess about a new app or game and have fun wiht it without neglecting their lifes that is fine. I think they just don't understand that it is different for you. Many people can't imagine what a shame and other bad feelings are coupled in a gaming addict. I think they want to help you but don't know how. Parents are just persons like you and me. They have a lot of mistakes and a lot of good attitudes you love them for. As you get older you see the mistakes more and the challenge is to love them anyway. I think focussing on the things they do good and accepting that they aren't perfect helps a lot. Maybe you can improve your way talking to them. Try to take their perspektive on things and start talking with them from there. You can only change yourself so that is the place where to start. Conversation skills are also a great skill to have in any phase of your life. So take this as an opportuinity to learn why they don't understand you and help them to do so.

Great job on that daily posts. Nice consistency!

Welcome to the forums. The main thing for you will be to find other activities you have passion for (and which benefit your life in a other way too). Imho the only way to do is to try stuff and stick through the first hard period until you can tell if it really isn't so exciting or you're just lazy to get out of your comfort zone. For me software development was the activity which got me most excited. Start finding yours!

Yeah this dreams pop up and go. I had a few and sometimes woke up feeling guilty because I thought for a moment I relapsed. My guess is that the brain is processing the change in behaviour.

Detox: 16.10.2017 - 16.01.2018 Week 5 (23.11.2027-30.11.2017) Still no sugar. I still don't work out. I've done the course from simpleprogrammer.com how to learn things fast and invested 10 dollars into an course on alexa skill programming. My goal for this week is to get an basic skill running on my amazon echo dot by following the instructions of an the course and tweaking stuff to make it personal (I want it to give me the age of my son in weeks and days). I think it is a fun project which is possible in the limited amount of time I have for productive work. I feel like I need to focus more on my development in one area and not spreading my starved resources to far. I'll try to make learning new technical skills a habit and I think the course will be a good way to do this if I implement it. Because I figured out I want to be rich and handsome and have a great family life. So I'll need some skills to do all this. I never allowed myself these ambitions (besides the last one) because I didn't want to kid myself. But there is no reason why I shouldn't get opportunities to become rich while having enough time for my family. I don't want to miss this opportunites out of forced humility. Aggresivness is a weakpoint of me. But I'll work on this now. Maybe I'll need a shorter training routine to make some healthy movement a habit. I think I stopped my original routine because it took to muhc time and I needed to prioritize it too hard to make it happen. So I'll think about a basic high intensity 10min routine. For starters I'll do burbees and bridges. 1min burpees, 1min briges 1min pause. Repeat 3 times. After a month I will adjust it but this is what I want to do for the next month or until week 9 of my detox.

Yeah it does. You'll know if you do stuff which isn't good for you. Especially if it is something "stupid" like procrastinating. Don't bother too much about direction. It is great if you have a goal you can commit working towards. But I know only a few people who have such goals and are able to follow this "direction". Most people inlcuding myself have a vague idea and figuring out what it means in reality on the fly. This sounds like a good opportunity, but it is still your choice. This fear of not fullfilling the expectation is no real force it is just in your head. Maybe there is this expectation but this is nothing which can't be talked over or changed if you really want to. The thing is even in cases where you have no choice (as sickness for example) it is still your choice how you take it. What you do with the cards your dealt. This feeling of not beeing in charge is just a manifestation of you not taking ownership of your action.

close one

Hey I find it is an interesting article and seems to contain some truth. I'm not really a person who searches validation from people I don't know that well but it is hard for me to deviate from the things my wtife or my family want because I don't want to hurt the, and I want them to be proud of me. but this leads sometimes to fear and doubt about my plans (what if they don't like it? Shouldn't I better ask if this is ok?). What I realized in the last two years is that you do ofcourse think about the people who are important to you but if the decision is only affecting yourself you don't need to and shouldn't care too much about other peoples beliefs and opinions. Sure think about them but be not afraid to do something against them anyway. The most things which I did for me (doing this journal, findng my footing in the software development market, etc...) was only my decision and many people wouldn't think It a good idea. But I knew I needed to change so I was proactive. I think as soon as you act proactive and plan to change your life, external validation just looses an importance. To internalise validation I did think more about what I want and not about what I have to do. It is about taking responsibility for your own life. You don't have to do anything. It is all a choice. You don't even have to be lawful. You just have to life with the consequences. If you realize that you are responsible for every decision you make and your entire life, it comes naturally that you'll be more independent and more proud on your achievements without any external validation.

My try in translation without google translate or any nowledge of dutch (sry as german I always have the feeling I understand dutch but I am always off a little :D): I feel still great. And comfortable. Maybe alittle to comfartable. I consume much but create nothing. I don't know what the Answer to the question is: what after this. ???It was a fantastic week. I have a lot of energy and i increased my push-ups by ten. To integrate Sport in my life needs some planning but it worked out great this week. It is a good idea to prepare your sports clothing as a passiv-agressive way to motivate yourself to workout the next day. I don't want to prepare tpp much for next week as me and my hubbye will have a weekend vacation. It will be a binge fest.???