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About Death13

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  1. I see, I see. How to deal with your addiction... Honestly? My answer? Find something else to get addicted to, something that benefits you in the real world. I'm an artist, I draw and paint all day, I sculpt now too. So, ever meet a business-man and he's like... 100 times more wealthy than you and you think to yourself..."this guy, is kind of a fucking idiot?" Well, time is money as those guys say, simple and true. Gaming took a lot of time from me, I'm not as great as I wanna be - but I'm getting there. I'm on the road to getting into the commercial art industry since I got into a concept design school. Find something that you're into, art, music, some kind of sport, whatever - get into it like you did with gaming. Gamify it, go to school for it, have a goal, challenge yourself, see that progress, get addicted all over again - but to something that actually matters; that's what worked for me anyway. Time is money, invest that time into yourself, time is a valuable currency - even if it is free. Oh and don't do relationships until you've got your shit together, it's easy to cave into loneliness and all that. The only difference between addiction and passion is that one fucks up your life and the other strengthens it - they're two sides of the same coin. That's all I've got for you, don't let time slip away, don't wake up at 30 or 40 or even 50 and wondering what the hell happened.
  2. Had a therapist off and on for almost 7 years now. Really, a shrink is just a paid friend/mom/dad, a mentor, someone who gets it and can give you good advice - someone you can vent to without them telling the whole world. With a bit of research into how psychology (the mind) works, intuition, and objective thinking, you can assess your own problems yourself and fix them yourself. So, for me personally, a shrink was good for the first year or so, but, it's gotten to the point where I see the guy once or twice a year when I feel like crap. For me, having an outside force, a motivator, a goal, a purpose, in that order, that's what made me a better person. Crying about my problems to some dude getting paid by the hour, did not. In fact, in hindsight, it actually made me more depressed because I dwelled on it more. You know, sometimes the answer is to just move on, sometimes the bad guy does get away, sometimes you can't get what you want, so you have to take control of the things that you can - the present and the future. If I could tell myself something when I was 20 or so it'd be that: nobody's gonna just magically fix your problems for you, you have to do it yourself, accept that and become better - or don't, stay pissed off and sad longer than you have to. Move on and you'll put the therapists out of business. Yep, ignorance is bliss, if you're not bound by money or law to think about shitty things, don't think about them. Move on. Can't change the world, but you can change yourself, stand with the man in the mirror - or don't.
  3. Working out is what did the trick for me. Sorry to be so concise about it, but it really works. That and a kind of a therapy I was exposed to by my shrink, which consists of hitting random things with a blunt weapon like a baseball bat to relieve stress. That also works.
  4. A small blurb, I guess. I've only struggled with this kind of addiction briefly (thankfully). Skins, cosmetic items. I'll try and keep it short and sweet (and fail), these are my thoughts based on my own experience and watching others, and I hope they can give food for thought and help with the project. I personally feel, that with the de-evolution of difficulty and challenge in games, has come this new beast. Players (myself included) want to feel that sense of progress, they want it visualized - they want to see that they're stronger. With the advent of lootboxes, the virtual removal of cosmetic items (you actually want, that aren't random) from being achieved by normal gameplay, game companies now have an excuse to make people spend money, money for their progress - their cosmetic/visual progress. Before, in games you'd unlock a new look the traditional way, clearing some bosses, farming, whatever. But right now, that is a relic of the past. They justify it with regurgitated slogans like "these items are only cosmetic and do not affect gameplay." But, psychologically they do, they affect the players perceptions of themselves - if they've advanced or not (the item quality colors tacked onto these cosmetics, are a nice psychological touch). This dirty trick makes people who are invested into the game, the ones who want their visual/cosmetic progress, bound to pay money for that progress which was originally free. And, while some systems in place give free lootboxes, this is equal to what is known as a Skinner Box. The more randomized the rewards, the more the rat (the player) will actually pull at the lever (leveling up, etc.) for more rewards, simply due to the excitement of not knowing what's next and the chance at an even bigger reward. Games, are now not only designed to suck money from the player, but also get them addicted to both the game itself and the gambling aspect. More gameplay, more disappoints from rewards, more time invested, money spent. It goes from fun and turns into a Vicious Circle, and then contributes to players investing themselves in what ultimately becomes a Sunken Cost Fallacy (they don't wanna quit). For many, you're no longer playing because it's fun, you're playing because you've invested time and money into something and you don't want it all to go to waste. Games now aren't about beating the bad guy and saving the princess, turning it off and moving on with your life. Games now are often, virtually an infinite loop to keep you playing and playing. In the end, the one who wins is the company profiting from the game.
  5. Been MONTHS! Day, who knows. Quit gaming, detoxed, I am now a study robot, working on my art 24/7 and trying to get into the industry. Taking classes online. Friends: zero, besides my dog. The only one thing I miss about gaming is the social aspect. I try gaming now and then and the most I can focus on it is an hour before I get bored and quit - without other people I know, it just doesn't work. YouTube and Twitter are distractions just as bad as gaming, so I try not to use either much. That's where I'm at guys, to anyone reading this (I assume around my age), just focus on your career right now because you won't be young forever. Every hour counts and adds up to something greater.
  6. Day 24 Saw my psychologist, game addiction is apparently going to universally be accepted as a serious mental disorder soon and he already considers it one. Going to use Abilify to unfuck my brain and rebalance it so it can it return to normal.
  7. Untreated Thyroid Failure for 10+ years from age 10/11, lots of nasty side effects - it was caught when I was estimated to have one-two years to live left. Ahhh, I ended up getting a Hammer of God V3 and a Crossbones Black Raven. Day 22. 21? I think I lost count. Getting back into hobbies slowly, I bought some model paint overseas and the shipping time is just too long. Oh yeah, new relationship - did not work out.
  8. Day 14 Studying off and on. YouTube is a big distraction.
  9. Day 11 Managed to study a few hours.
  10. "Keep going" is correct. It is difficult to be alone, and it is hard to accept that no one can save you, except yourself. I tried ditching games at 24 originally, didn't work, fell into relapse after relapse. Got bullied out of college on top of it all (short story shorter, my professor hated me). My own issue in the past is that I've ignored support systems like this, but they are crucial. Keep reaching out and find a hobby to immerse yourself in. I've learned that quitting gaming (for me) is trading in one hobby (obsession) for another. The key difference between gaming and a better hobby is that the better hobby will turn into a skill that you can carry with you into the real world.
  11. Probably some kind of art club, whenever I teach, it seems to get me pretty focused. Day 9 Dreams seemed to have stopped. Gaming friends keep bugging me to play games, and I'm feeling like a broken record writing that. I think that I'll update every other day at this point. So far, kicking games has not been that bad, but finding motivation and inspiration for my other hobbies is still a chore. I feel like I've discovered that I'm motivated by fear of failure and deadlines, hence why school works for me.
  12. Thank you. As it goes for making new local friends, I guess I'm hoping I'll get lucky at one of the clubs at college, maybe I'll start one... I think that social hobbies are the answer as well. I wish I could get a part-time job, but the few places I've applied to only want full-timers. I'm just waiting for school to start at this point, the sooner the better.
  13. Day 8 Stayed up too late, ended up having another strange dream relating to games, but I've forgotten it already. Studied art for about an hour yesterday and finished a TV series. Sold my last MMO account.
  14. Day 7 / Week 1 I was able to focus on watching live-action television for the first time in about a year. And I am now having dreams almost every night. As I've thought about things logically, I know it's impossible for me to cut games out of my life completely due to the social aspect. Virtually everyone in my age-group plays games and it's virtually the only way to hang out with them... Examining myself, I have noticed that my personal triggers for becoming totally addicted stem from close relationships ending up catastrophic failures... Without a major stressor in my life, I know I can moderate my play-time fairly well. Addiction and escapism seem to go hand-in-hand. Dream Journal Last night I had dreamt I was fishing in shark-infested waters, before that I was being chased by men in a boat. Something happened to the pier, and I ended up frantic in the water, as some kind of wind had twisted the bridge and knocked me into the water while I was fishing. A shark began swimming towards me and before it could make contact, I woke up.
  15. Day 6 Had an intense dream about gaming... Oddly enough, I slept for 12 hours instead of my normal 6-8, but I woke up feeling incredibly rested and "normal" feeling. I had the epiphany that I have never even really liked online games per se, I just missed the social aspect of playing games with my friends, like when I was a kid. I've come to the stunning realization that I never even liked my "friends" I've had IRL (locally) for the past year, I simply wanted to recapture the joy I had in social interaction when I was a child. In the end, I think I just hate being alone.