AngryFrog

So yeah my streak goes on strong!, And I started to feel slight motivation/urges to do stuff away from gaming! I'm on medication, so that might do something to it too, anyways, I'm starting to learn German! And will start to practice programming again, little steps, maybe an hour a day, but still moving forward instead of backwards! so yeah!

Damn! nice it seems you had some fun with it too! And YES I completely agree with you there's no way to memorize/master one language perfectly, none of the programmers I know does that, they all google a lot, use it on the go, there's simply too much stuff to memorize, its better to go through some tutorials/courses and try to UNDERSTAND them instead of remember every bit That's what I'm going to do myself, but for real this time! no games ruining my goals!

Languages I got to know were PHP, JavaScript, CSS and Python, since I did most of my "coding" on Linux, I even learned some scripting on Bash, but due to all those issues, and gaming addiction I switched to Windows and forgot most of what I've learned during High school years, but now, I really wish to come back to it. Are you learning a language currently? or did you in the past? which one?

So, my counter shows 18th day has almost passed. I don't write too often since I'm moving slow, there's not enough action to talk about! Started taking medications 2 days ago, even though it didn't fully kick in yet, my mood is much more stable now, I feel much more calm. I don't feel urges to play, I mean I miss it a bit, it was really fun, but I read some articles that scared me from playing games, what kind of works I still don't want to do anything, doesn't feel motivated, my brain still crave higher level of stimulation that video games provided, daily activities still seem boring. Step by step trying to get in to programming again, I loved it before, and was kind of good at picking it up, but gaming ultimately won and I abandoned this hobby. so yeah, we'll see what's next!

So After first post I wasn't sure whether I will make my journal, but I think it will help me, so I will try. I don't think I'll update it every day, but it still should be helpful to look back sometimes. 5th days is almost over and honestly, I don't feel any urges to play, even a little bit. I don't miss it at all so far. But it isn't all good. IT FUCKING HURTS... I feel so damn lonely, so incredibly empty. I'm now facing my problems, all those years spent within the walls of my room.. all real life friends I lost, they all moved on and I stayed at the same spot.. no progress.. Depression plus social anxiety... it's fcking crushing me. All these years... I wasn't playing because I loved gaming... I just wanted to run away from real world, from all those feelings. Feeling lonely yet scared to talk with people, to be with them, how can one feel such different feelings at the same time? 28th birthday is coming this month... it will really be psychologically hard to go through that day..

Thank you man. Speaking about motivation, it's not reliable thing, if a goal is long-term it will fade without a doubt. I've read her book, she has a really good idea why motivation won't work. Youtube link

Ohh I understand you well, I had bullying issues myself, but I was stubborn, I beat the sh** out of them I men I got punched enough myself too, but I had that mindset formed that I am alone too and I was stubborn enough to keep myself up, it might cause that social anxiety issue I'm going through now or video games... who knows now. Of course being alone is hard, but many things are hard in this life, even having close friends my be hard at times, no? And then, there is this thing... video games.. pure joy! how easy it is to trade real life for all those magical virtual ones. I fell in to a trap here. so yeah as I've mentioned on the previous post to that lady, We have to have that "WHY" and we will be fine. I read through posts Cam made about video games, how it affects our brain, nervous system, that's my "WHY"

Thank you! I believe we all have strength, all we need to do is decide. I could've done this years ago(any of us could), but there was no decision to do so. Decision came (in my case) when I reached the bottom, 27 y.o., live with parents, no relationships.. And there's only one step I could make to keep myself going, I just made a vision, of what I want to be. You see I'm stubborn as hell And if I have that magical "WHY" I can do it. College year was incredibly hard experience for me due to my severe social anxiety, and like that wasn't enough during those years I lost my family member plus video games almost every night. Despite all of that I managed to finish my college, even though I wanted to quit multiple times, but you see, I had that "WHY", it pulled me through, that's why I believe we all have that strength needed So yeah, I have no doubts that you are ready to start living your life too, just keep in sight your vision.

Thank you man! It's always easier to fight if you are not alone.

I was ignorant for a long time.. But this website gave me enough information to re-think my choices. I'm 27 years old, and I've spent most of my waking hours hiding in virtual worlds... It was easier that way.. Real world was just too hard for me to handle, so I tried to escape it by any means necessary, ignoring everyone, pushing those who cared about me away.. I've been depressed and socially anxious as long as I can remember.. It just was unbearable sometimes and video games let me forget about that, to live another life if you will, years gone by, and I understood that problems won't go anywhere I will still have to face them later on. So I searched how to... And I found you guys, so here I am, completely removed all my games, all those virtual worlds where I felt at home. The only friends I had (virtual ones) left behind.. Scared as hell, facing all the feelings I was escaping for years from. Went to a psychiatrist today, asked for help... Video games didn't cause me this ( according to her) it was just a tool, an attempt of my brain to escape all those negative feelings. And it seems that it will be a HELL to cope with this, but as a smart man once said: "If you're going through hell, keep going".