Daily Journal - Rick

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Posted

Yep exactly. You create your own reality so if you want the experience to be a positive one, how can you approach it to create that? If you think it will suck then you will also behave in a way that manifests that experience. ;)

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Posted

hehe, i'm at my sister's now and enjoying the day. It's a good day, because it went positive. We rode this morning back to their house, i read a book, we played a game and have good talk's everynow and then. Have a good day everyone!

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Posted

Hi there, i wanna share the following:

I am not that much focused on posting here, because i am really making steps with a course to become more connected to other people and myself. Also i'm making steps in creating more structure, which means now; i have written down some rules that i want to keep, to keep clean my room. Only by writing them and printing it already has almost become a habbit, but thats just how i'm gonna do this month.

Also i'm very aware of ideas that just come up in my head, and what i hope is that it is the effect of less books, less news, less input (from that "taking action" page, which i posted before about). I write these ideas down.

Steps i take are also to take care of myself by brushing my teeth (and you ask: isnt that obvious? well no!), thinking about what i will eat every day, and more such things. So its going really well.

Part of that is because i'm in love hehe :) and thats just hardcore energy i get from that. I use it to keep myself going, not motivated or trying not to feel unhappy, but just going straight forward.

Thats what i wanted to share. oh, and btw; i'm not really keeping track anymore of everybody's journal anymore, is that a bad thing? its just a bit much to browse to the forum and read everyone's lifestory and such.

Have a good week everyone, keep taking steps 1 at the time!

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Posted

Great job Rick! Proud of you :)

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Posted

Part of that is because i'm in love hehe

:)

 and thats just hardcore energy i get from that. I use it to keep myself going, not motivated or trying not to feel unhappy, but just going straight forward.

Thats what i wanted to share. oh, and btw; i'm not really keeping track anymore of everybody's journal anymore, is that a bad thing? its just a bit much to browse to the forum and read everyone's lifestory and such.

 

Awesome that life treats you well. And that you treat you well too. No it isn't a bad thing. You read as much as you interested in, but in my opinion the first reason of journal here and join this forum is helping yourself. If you have other things to do, wich you like more: do it and be happy!

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Posted

New journal update. I was feeling very good today, and decided to vlog it in stead of writing it down.

The video is hidden, which means you can only acces it by clicking on the link.

https://youtu.be/Ym8uqMSrJ7M

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Posted

Cool video!

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Posted

Alright. I finished respawn, and today i start the challenge. I'm a bit anxious but also exited for it! I follow also the courses from Mark Manson (connection course right now) and i think the challenge and the connection course are a really good combination together. 

btw, i had a small relapse 2 days ago. I was tired, it was late, and i wanted to have fun. So i installed hots and played 3 games. The next day i played 2 games. But then i deinstalled. It was fun, but the whole time i was also thinking "if i do this other things will be less fun, other things in real life". So that was my counter.

I do have 1 question about it, any answer is appreciated: Through the weeks and months that i havent gamed anymore, i lack a bit of a passion for something. IN general i'm passionate about doing this, manage my life, follow my structure, my agenda, do activities with the group but at the end of the evening i still think "i havent done today something that was equal to the rush of gaming". not all evenings, but a few per week. Any advice is welcome!

Umm. let me think, i'm reading less in journals, but i think i will change that in the future. In specific i will read the long term journals, and see how they got through this phase i'm in now. Just for reference; i have enough activities and things planned everyday. 

Greetz,

Rick

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Posted

I think it helps if you have something to be passionate about. I haven't found it yet though. I know out of experience that gaming just screws with me life. The fear motivates me, because i know if I get weak and fall in old behaviours, I won't stop and would lie to my wife because I would be ashamed. I can't let that happen to me again. Maybe the challenge help you with that though. I think day two or so is about finding your passion ;)

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Posted

okay i am feeling really good and strong right now! need to journal to keep my mind ordered! 

I"m reading through the challenge section (especially your depression and experiences Cam) and i have a lot of thoughts flow through my mind. I write most of them down right now. But there are many lessons in the intro. How do i apply them all at onces? (is a question that occured to me just now).

btw, i'm just rambling right now. Just some thoughts

I need to spend less time doing all this self improvement stuff. I will still dedicate time to it, but i really want to experience much more then i search and read about it.

There is a insight i find funny and amazing at the same time. Still reading through the pages and i find some sentences to be very similiar to my belief. I'm a christian and while i'm not a bit talker about it, it's one of my defining roots about how i see the world and it influences my actions big time. This is the sentence that i mean "I knew the answer
was about creating the life you want". How i read this is "i knew the answer was about living the life that God wants". Is this not the same end-goal? with other tools and means but still somehow the same?! it's intriguing me a lot :)

Stay tuned! i have the whole day for all of this stuff haha

 

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Posted

I think it helps if you have something to be passionate about. I haven't found it yet though. I know out of experience that gaming just screws with me life. The fear motivates me, because i know if I get weak and fall in old behaviours, I won't stop and would lie to my wife because I would be ashamed. I can't let that happen to me again. Maybe the challenge help you with that though. I think day two or so is about finding your passion ;)

oh thx! you havent found it yet? great to hear btw from you, as you are one of my examples on the forum who is succeeding long term :D good to hear that this step is on the route.

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Posted (edited)

Hello Fellows!

It's been quite some time, but today i will start journaling a little bit more, atleast in the challenge section. Today i start my Gamequiters Challenge!

Kinda anxious about it but also exited. I look forward to extend my comfort zone.

So how has it been? well, very good and very bad. Hit rockbottom sometimes, not because i was gaming atleast. I havent had a relapse since months now. Handing over my steam and battle.net account to my younger brother has been the best thing i did since my quitting. It works even better then if i had deleted them. I can't ask my brother to give my accounts back. He succeeded in more paths in life then i and i can't bring myself to a point where i give up on myself and ask him, where i make it definitive that i'm a failure. You think i exaggerate? not at all! This is my burden, the demon of gaming hanging over my head. He will grab me again if i even send the facebook chat to my brother.

Well thats how i think about it atleast hehe. Now, to continue.. i hit rockbottom because i was mostly down by my own thoughts. It was and is a war of the mind. But i had some great months to, i felt good. I took care of myself in meditation (or quiet-time) and i spoke about what bothered me to my friends and mental coach. I ventilated. I have been doing new things, trying different strategies and with each failure or battle/down time i learned more inside myself, took steps, started again and went back into reality. 

Now the time has come that i start my challenge. I'm really smiling right now because i feel this is time. I should have started it months ago, but that doesnt matter. The "i should do" is now "i will do". Thats how i start and end everyday together with some basic rules, just simple and easy.

Your very welcome btw to keep track of my challenge. I like to share my experiences. Honestly, i like to do a bit crazy, and i except a lot of folly and jest! (ye i had to googletranslate that).

Ask anything you like to know.

Greetz,

Rick

EDIT: a link to my challenge: http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/1821-roar-and-thunder-ironflys-raw-challenge/

Edited by Ironfly
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Posted

Hey awesome that you are back :D I will surely follow your challenge.

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Posted

Welcome back Rick!

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Posted

Welcome back! I'm starting the challenge today, so you can feel more challenged haha :)

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist.

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