I struggled with self esteem unknowingly for a lot of time, and for the longest I would always take other people's opinions as better than mine. I would try to be like them and hoped that this would make me likable. It worked, for literally a few hours or days. Do you know who ended up not liking me at all? Myself. I was betraying my values and beliefs and opinions, and the result was self doubt and feeling like I'm a worthless person. The book about self esteem in my signature gave me good understanding of where to draw the line between me and other people without being disrespectful or aggressive, it taught me the proper boundaries so to speak. I believe it will help you too, if you need assistance with the process.

Edited February 1, 20196 yr by fawn_xoxo

I lost again. This weekend wasn't so good. Now i just don't want to game anymore. I'll repeat my quitting progress, have to. I know the drill. Unsubbing any gaming channels, deleting history, bookmarks and the anything related to gaming. Deleting my games itself. Only 1 this time, but my goodness what i poured into it these days again. A little bit of money, extreme hours and so much effort for making new characters. 

 

What have you learned?  It seems you've gone back to games several times on this journey.  What made you play?  What made you quit?  What's the reason you keep playing?  What's at the depth of everything?  Are you playing to escape from stress or depression?  What is causing this depression and stress?  What is going to be different this time quitting than the last times you've quit?  What are you holding back from doing?

I'll answer that today booksandtrees. 

Quick update from my phone, before this relapse I had 2 core believes that I referred to. Now I will come up with 2 believes that I want to grow in, and to familiarise myself with. 

I had an extremely satisfying day and i will report tomorrow some more, and start with my 2  'recovery' beliefs.