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reza's journal


Reza
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i see people write their journal i think that really helped them so why not , i write it too . i am going to be 100% honest here and not "show" if i am doing good or what ever. this id middle of day two but first i write yestersay.

 

day 1 :

i woke up at 1 pm , i know pretty late . until evening around 6 i read books and chill . at 6 : 30 my friend called me abd we went mountain climbing and we were surprised to see some of our friends were there too ! exacly at the mountin we were lmao . we came back at 8 . from 8 to 11: 30 pm i just were in the home spending time with ny family ( i am fixing ny broken relationship with them , so far we made huge progress). i went to bed at 2 and that was the day 1.

positive points : no gaming - no social media - having fun times with my dudes 

 

negetive points : i didnt read anything for my exam witch is in 3 month later - i broke my no fap after 5-6 days - i woke up pretty late - i got so angry over something witch was my own fault

 

next day goals :

1. wake up earlier

2.study for my exam ( everyday)

3.no gaming / no social media

4 . control my rage in bad situations

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Hello Reza, and welcome to the forum!

Good luck with your family situation.  Although you may have broken your goal last night, you did acknowledge your own mistakes, which I think is an admirable step in the right direction.

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day 2

it's almost 9 pm here.

today i woke up a little earlier at 10 am . i had some stuff to do and some shoppings . at 3 pm i decided to write my journal 😅 . later i started doing ny work outs witch i paused it a while ago but not compeletly because of my right arm injury . i finaly grabbed my books and studued around 2 hours. not so bad for a start after a while . still no social media or gaming today . i might go out with my dude tonight or maybe just stay home with our guests and maybe even study more

 

positive points : no gaming - no social media - i controled my anger well during discussions - i started study - i started my work outs again - wake up earlier

 

negetive points : i masturbaited , i am having trubble with it needs to ve solved - i lost my mind and raged only once witch was not my fault at all , still i want to make it to 0 - still need to wake up so earlier , 10 is not good

 

 

check yesterday goals :

1. wake up earlier ✔

2. study for my exam ✔

3. no gaming / no social media ✔

4. control my rage at bad situation ✔

 

 

next day goals :

1. wake up earlier

2. study more

3.no gaming / no social media

4. not raging even once

5.no masturbating

6. do my work outs

 

 

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quick update : i woke up 8 today witch was a huge progress compare to day 1 witch i woke up at 1 pm 😁 . i went to doctor for my arm and diagnosed Impingement syndrom .  i should not do work outs for at least 5 - 20 days to recover . so i have to pause my workouts and leave goal 6 for now

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almost 9 pm time to right journal

day 3 :

i woke up at 8 am ( wow 😁) , ate breakfast  then studied straight to 2 pm . it was amazing day untill 2 . after that for whatever reason i just got depressed . i were alone almost all day and crazy stuff gone over my head . but overall at least i did half of day great

 

positive points : wake up early - studied well and effective - no gaming

 

negetive points : for what ever reason my mind was messed up - i fap twice!! today - at evening i slowed down my study. i installed reddit but im using it for good subreddits witch is ok for now 

 

check yesterday goals :

 

1. wake up earlier ✔

2. study more ✔

3.no gaming ✔ / no social media (i installed reddit)

4. not raging even once ✔

5.no masturbating

6. do my work outs (injury)

 

 

next day goals :

1. keep the sleep routine

2. study more

3. no gaming

4.not raging even once

5.no fap

6. working on my mental health

 

 

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9 pm , lets go 😀

day 4 :

today was alright , i woke up 6 i had something to do , then i slept until 9:30 . i ate breakfast and studied to almoat 3 . after that i spent time with my family and out guests , then i went for a walk until now.

 

poaitive points : keeping sleeping routine - study well and efective - no fap 

 

negetive points : i raged once - my mood was not at the best

 

check yesterday goals :

 

1. keep the sleep routine✔

2. study more ( i studied same as yesterday)

3. no gaming✔

4.not raging even once ( i did it once)

5.no fap✔

6. working on my mental health✔

 

next day golas :

1.keep the sleep routine

2. try to study more in evening and night

3. no gaming

4. not raging even once

5. no fap

7. start reading non-school booka again 

 

 

 

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quick update :

i woke up at 6 :15 full if energy to study but thing happenned i had to go out 3 times with made me exhausted at 9:45 .i just fell sleep then until now 1 pm . somehow when you decide to make a progress unexpected things happen more than often , i guess i start working accomplishing my goals from now . 😑

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6 hours ago, Reza said:

quick update :

i woke up at 6 :15 full if energy to study but thing happenned i had to go out 3 times with made me exhausted at 9:45 .i just fell sleep then until now 1 pm . somehow when you decide to make a progress unexpected things happen more than often , i guess i start working accomplishing my goals from now . 😑

That's life and it's ok. The good thing is you noticed you had full energy and positive moments today. That's important you're not focusing on the bad only. 

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@BooksandTrees yes thats true .but sadly more was comming . witch id say is ok , happens 

 

 

i was extremly busy today now at 11 pm i write day 5

day 5 :

as i mentioned after doing sone work after wakibg up at 6 i slelt at 9 until 1 pm . unfortunetely again i needed to go out and that made me tired again . i couldnt to much today  i was really busy . then at the evening my dude insisted me go out so i went . sadly i broke my no gaming , and played 2 games of league of legend , 2 losses and just made my day worst. after that we went for a long walk and no here i am

 

positive points : not much , i was very busy but i actually managed to read some books at dead times.

 

negetive points : broke my no gaming after 5 days - fap , again 

 

check yesterday goals :

 

1.keep the sleep routine ✔(almost)

2. try to study more in evening and night

3. no gaming

4. not raging even once✔

5. no fap

7. start reading non-school booka again✔

 

next day goals :

1. keep sleeping routine

2. try to be face unexoected things better

3. study study and study

4. no gaming

5. no fap

6. non- school books

note : i try to use tommorow for rebuilding myself and try to be more stable in my journy

 

 

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I'm not an expert on no gaming but Insomnia I can help with. It all comes down to pushing yourself through it to a reasonable time to sleep. Its alot easier to not fall asleep (and to not game I imagine) if your outside. The fresh air always helped me keep awake. After a while of pushing yourself adrenaline will kick in and help you stay awake till 8:30 PM. That's the earliest I would aim for. Its just about pushing yourself that extra mile. Being tired erodes your Willpower but you only need to do it once to kick you body back into rhythm. Your body wants you to wake with the sun and sleep with it setting so its actually easier to get back into rhythm biologically than not. Keep going, I have faith 🙂

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@WillDonisthorpe i have this problen over a year and half . i can stay awake at nights but as soon as sun rises my eyes get tired . best sleepung time for me is 6 am to 12 - 1 pm . maybe because i lived like this for so long . now its almost 2 am but i can't sleep. i literally force myself to sleep while i really don't need to

also i am muslim and i must wake up before sunrise for salat ( morning pray)  . if i dont have to i can just sleep to 8 or 9 . this cutting sleep makes me 2x tired

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I used to have this problem too. I don't have the prayer consideration but for me the solution was to stop drinking and commit myself to a healthy schedule. I often would stay up until 2 or 3am drinking and then would get only a few hours of sleep before I had to be back to work by 8. Now I sometimes have trouble falling asleep but try to be asleep by midnight.

It's good to recognize when your best hours are, too. For me, I get the most done before noon and get another burst of energy around 2-6pm. After that there is no way I'll get anything productive done!

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@ceponatia i defenetely consider changing my food habits. maybe helps . also ita 6:15 now as evey day , trying to stay awake :)))

 

edit : i faild i slept at 7 until 11 . thats really depressing how i am stuggling with my sleeping routine

Edited by Reza
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day 6 :

so i woke up at 6 : 15 . but i was so so sleepy because i didnt sleep well last night. i slept and i woke up almost 11 . then i we got a call that we have guests comming . so almost my whole day spent buying stuff for lunch and spending time with familly and guests . after that i went for a walk . now i  came back , almost 9 pm .

 

positive points : not much , just did home stuff , buying , helping , ...

 

negetive points : raging couple of times

 

check yesterday goals :

 

1. keep sleeping routine✔

2. try to be face unexpected things better✔ ( actualy i was good today with this)

3. study study and study ( didnt have time to do it , still...)

4. no gaming✔

5. no fap✔

6. non- school books

 

next day goals :

1. wake uo early and stay awake in everyway i can

2. be ready for stuff may happen 

3. studyyyyyyyyyyy my books

4.no gaming

5.no fap

6. non - shcool books

 

P.S : this journal writing is really pushing me forward to become better me , also the community is supportive . i hope i keep writing it 😊

 

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day 7 :

day 7 in one word : migraine and nothing more . my head was exploding today and still hurts. i coudn't do anything . this is not excuse but last couple of days i was busy and today my migraine took all of my day in pain...

ckeck yesterday goals :

 

1. wake uo early and stay awake in everyway i can

2. be ready for stuff may happen

3. studyyyyyyyyyyy my books

4.no gaming

5.no fap

6. non - shcool books

i played some game to distract myself from headache. i feel like a jerk

 

next day goals = yeaterday goals :

 

. wake uo early and stay awake in everyway i can

2. be ready for stuff may happen 

3. studyyyyyyyyyyy my books

4.no gaming

5.no fap

6. non - shcool books

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day 8 :

first of all . it really surprised me that writing journal actually is helping me . last night i had to help my sister with my neice so i didnt have a perfect night . so i woke up at 9 : 30 ate breakfast and started studying. during this time things happened i had to go out couple of times but i was ready for this situations. i managed to study well but still need to study more . then i went hanging out with my dude and now just chilling.

 

positive points : handle situations well - i kept smileing all day and stayed positive - with all the works i studied 

 

negetive points : fapppp - woke up a little late but still was ok

 

ckeck yesterday goals :

 

1. wake uo early and stay awake in everyway i can✔( can be both)

2. be ready for stuff may happen  ✔

3. studyyyyyyyyyyy my books✔

4.no gaming✔

5.no fap

6. non - shcool books

 

next day goals :

1. wake uo early and stay awake in everyway i can

2. be ready for stuff may happen 

3. studyyyyyyyyyyy my books

4.no gaming

5.no fap

6. non - shcool books

 

ps : for now i keep going forwaed with this goals , untill i have a stable condition . then set new goals

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i write my journal a bit earlier because i night not be able to do it later :

 

day 9 :

today was alright . actualy i studied from 12 am to 3 am at before dawn witch was great . then i slept and woke up at 10 am. i ate something , went to store to buy some stuff for home then i started to study untill like 4 pm. then i went out with a friend of mine . we played 1 game , went for a walk and came back home . tonight i might go out so im writing it sooner 

 

positive points : studying good - not much just a regular day 🙂

 

negetive points : same like postive points , not much . just a regular normal day

check yesterday goals :

 

1. wake uo early and stay awake in everyway i can

2. be ready for stuff may happen ✔

3. studyyyyyyyyyyy my books✔

4.no gaming

5.no fap✔

6. non - shcool books✔

 

i want to change my goals a little bit . set them in  categories .  1. must do 2. better to do 3. better not to do . so with this i focus on doing more inportant tasks and when i did them its not a big deal to even do things better not to like gaming. this way i put less pressure on me , more freedom and also less stress . some days its better to sleep more , or hang with dudes and etc . i try it for a day and will see how it goes ( this may change , this is the first time i use this way of planning)

 

must do :

1. study 

2. being positive 

better to do :

1.wake up early

2. study non school books

better not do to :

1. gaming

2.fapping

 

 

PS : let me know what do you think about new way to sett goals  or if you know better way tell me 

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day 10 :

i woke up at 6 , started study till 9 . then i slept . actualy i dont know why but my mom kept bothering me every 5 min since 10 to like 11 . maybe she tought i was sleeping since 6 . anyway that made me get migraine ( migraine headaches are so painful ) . still i kept studying a bit . then my migrain got worse and i stopped studying . then night went out with my friend for a long walk then came back .

 

poaitive points : studied while having headache 

 

negetive points : my sleep got fucked also i had a argue with my mother .

ckeck yesterday :

 

must do :

1. study ✔

2. being positive ✔ (broke it only once)

better to do :

1.wake up early✔

2. study non school books✔

better not do to :

1. gaming✔

2.fapping

 

i guess this plan type worked kinda well so i use it for tommorow too.

 

must do :

1. study 

2. being positive 

better to do :

1.wake up early

2. study non school books

better not do to :

1. gaming

2.fapping

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I like your new plan system. Gives you a priority system which can really help push you. Don't worry about breaking being positive, its bound to happen now and again, just focus on how you respond to this and how to bring yourself back 🙂

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day 11 , 12 and 13 :

suddenly and somehow i got a superpower for studying . my whole life is improving . im moving forward fast . no gaming and no fap during last 3 days . im doing perfect . now its only the matter of keeping this routine . i will not lose this good routine this time . 

what im doing great :

1. studying

2. positive atitude 

3. no gaming - also no social media ☺ for now , i m focused on my study

4. no fap is on day 3 , my body it getting used to it slowly 

5. amazing sleeping routine .

 

i feel like a real person now . i have goals and im working hard for them . also my arm injury is almost fine now i started light warm up for now . soon i started my workouts again .

 

ps : i probably wont be able write my journal every day . maybe somedays i do but i try to write 2 or 3 days together . 

peace 😊

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