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Mario's Journal,

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26.11.2016

Last week ended on a bad note. In retroperspective I know why it failed. I jplanned to many different things which I wanted to work off in a short time: cleaning, practical things at work, theoretical things at work, studying, workout, fokussing on engeneering instead of coding. My head swooped around al these things and I felt kind of paralyzed at work. As I managed to fokus on one thing I managed to get some stuff done btu still wasted a lot of time there. As I come home early this friday I didn't managed to get stuff done enither. No workout, no writing for my exposé at work, close to no housework. It annoys me to fail unnecessary on a lot of my goals. Here are the things I managed to do:

- I am on present state with the content of the lectures

- I started to revisit a lecture I visited a year ago and writing the exam next spring

- I put my potential exam dates in my calendar and started to amke a study plan

A thing that helped me yesterday to get atleast sth done was not searching distractions. If I felt like I couldn't do more work (even if I was clearly rested and capable of it) I did not organize my plans, I did not check my phone I did not surf afte renw interesting things to learn. I just stared at the wall until boredome kicked in and then did somethign productive. I'll keep this up next week at my workday. I feel that with distractiosn in working pauses I ruin my productivity. I need to train my brain to get away from this urge of searching something different engaging instead of just rest. Ok his week I will ahve some old and some new challenges and the opportunity to be better. I forgive me for beeing dumb at some times and give myself the chance to do better again. Slowly but steady fighting for a better life where I am behave like an adult who is in control of his working habits instead of letting my working habits control me.

Until christmas:

I commit that all the time I spend at university (minus one hour I spend at gamequitters and headspace) will be solely devoted to being the best student I can. to reach this goal I will try to batch my time as well as possible. Every morning will be used to study or do literature/thinking work for my thesis. Every afternoon for social/organisational/hands-on-tasks.

I will also spent everyday at least 30 in at a household task I don't do regular. Like cleaning the windows.  Or ordering my papers. Basically getting things done which would otherwise wouldn’t be done at all. This is only second priority to spending quality time with people I care of.

If (and only if) there is some time left after this activities I will focus on programming and building a career in this field.

Most important work task today (trello does that Job for me now so I'll delete this part)

I feel grateful for...

1) New Week new Luck

2) snuggly cat

3) the feeling fo nto beeing alone in this struggle (thanks guys)

4) my wife just wakened up

5) a friend of mine found finally a job. I am really happy for him

Weekly goals (until Friday)

- I started proactive creating learning material for the exams in spring

- the cellar is ordered and ready for some shelves to move in.

- two times 40min  bw-exercise and  one 30min jog

- having everything clean and orderly until friday.

- I finished my exposé in a convincing fashion

List of banned activities:

gaming, YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

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27.11.2016

Argh. Somehow my embedded player is broken. Can't lsiten to headspace, podcasts or play youtube videos. Tried around 2 hours to fix it and think I broke it somehow finally. This doesn't work on all my browsers so most likely I emssed with a library. I have no time for it but I want  to set my system up totally new up to get rid of this problem. If I had done my stuff and wrote my expose right now that would be an ok thing to do. Btu so I'll try to let it go until I have mroe time. It is not like I need any of these thing. 

Until christmas:

I commit that all the time I spend at university (minus one hour I spend at gamequitters and headspace) will be solely devoted to being the best student I can. to reach this goal I will try to batch my time as well as possible. Every morning will be used to study or do literature/thinking work for my thesis. Every afternoon for social/organisational/hands-on-tasks.

I will also spent everyday at least 30 in at a household task I don't do regular. Like cleaning the windows.  Or ordering my papers. Basically getting things done which would otherwise wouldn’t be done at all. This is only second priority to spending quality time with people I care of.

If (and only if) there is some time left after this activities I will focus on programming and building a career in this field.

I feel grateful for...

1) New clothes

2) conversation with my wife

3) Sundays

4) Most of my computer still functioning

5) electrical light

Weekly goals (until Friday)

- I started proactive creating learning material for the exams in spring

- the cellar is ordered and ready for some shelves to move in.

- two times 40min  bw-exercise and  one 30min jog

- having everything clean and orderly until friday.

- I finished my exposé in a convincing fashion

List of banned activities:

gaming, YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

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26.11.2016

Last week ended on a bad note. In retroperspective I know why it failed. I jplanned to many different things which I wanted to work off in a short time: cleaning, practical things at work, theoretical things at work, studying, workout, fokussing on engeneering instead of coding. My head swooped around al these things and I felt kind of paralyzed at work. As I managed to fokus on one thing I managed to get some stuff done btu still wasted a lot of time there. As I come home early this friday I didn't managed to get stuff done enither. No workout, no writing for my exposé at work, close to no housework. It annoys me to fail unnecessary on a lot of my goals. Here are the things I managed to do:

 

I just did the same thing the past few days. I felt like I was being tugged at in all different directions with all the commitments. And then, after that, slacked for a couple of days on the daily disciplines I promised myself I'd do. Mostly because of feeling a lack in purpose, direction, and clarity. 

Thanks for sharing Mario! Keep it up! Good luck this week!

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27.11.2016

I suspect that I get sick. My head is aching and my nose is constantly clogged. This wouldn't be so bad if I doesn't feel like beeing sick would be actually a good thing to have an excuse for expanding my exposé Deadline. As always this isn't a hard border but it makes a difference if I make it in time ore not.It Shows how serious I ake this Thesis. At my Bachelor Thesis These sort of things lowered my endgrade. So well it is time to get some stuff done there. I hate that I tend to search for excuses all the time and it sucks Feeling sorry for myself.It feels like I jsut Need to suck it up. It isn'Ät easy to stay friendly to myself in such moments. But it makes no sense to ebat myself up.

PS: I need just stand up and keep going. I'll Need to reduce my time I spent in the morning on gq. If I ahve the tiem I will check in from time to time in the afternoon/evening but I'll ened to make a Habit of consistent focused work at the beginning of the day. And gq keeps distracting me.

Until christmas:

I commit that all the time I spend at university (minus one hour I spend at gamequitters and headspace) will be solely devoted to being the best student I can. to reach this goal I will try to batch my time as well as possible. Every morning will be used to study or do literature/thinking work for my thesis. Every afternoon for social/organisational/hands-on-tasks.

I will also spent everyday at least 30 in at a household task I don't do regular. Like cleaning the windows.  Or ordering my papers. Basically getting things done which would otherwise wouldn’t be done at all. This is only second priority to spending quality time with people I care of.

If (and only if) there is some time left after this activities I will focus on programming and building a career in this field.

I feel grateful for...

1) life

2) light

3) ironed shirt

4) being first at the office

5) hot beverages

Weekly goals (until Friday)

- I started proactive creating learning material for the exams in spring

- the cellar is ordered and ready for some shelves to move in.

- two times 40min  bw-exercise and  one 30min jog

- having everything clean and orderly until friday.

- I finished my exposé in a convincing fashion

Chickendanclist:

gaming, procrastinating on YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

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27.11.2016

I am sick. Some aching limbs, a little headache etc. ...

That's why I stayed at home even if it ins very convenient to do so. Still not sure if I cheat myself here. But I try to make the best out of it. I go back to sleep now and afterwards I make a relaxation day with some reading. maybe a bath and a lot of tea and water. I was pretty tempted to sue porn this morning but my promise helped here. I will maybe use youtube today because I have a lot of time. But I limit myself to only 1hour to evade binge watching. I also deleted my training goal. Don't want to force that part right now.

I hope you guys (and girls) are doing well. Bye.

 

Until christmas:

I commit that all the time I spend at university (minus one hour I spend at gamequitters and headspace) will be solely devoted to being the best student I can. to reach this goal I will try to batch my time as well as possible. Every morning will be used to study or do literature/thinking work for my thesis. Every afternoon for social/organisational/hands-on-tasks.

I will also spent everyday at least 30 in at a household task I don't do regular. Like cleaning the windows.  Or ordering my papers. Basically getting things done which would otherwise wouldn’t be done at all. This is only second priority to spending quality time with people I care of.

If (and only if) there is some time left after this activities I will focus on programming and building a career in this field.

I feel grateful for...

1) not doing dumb things jsut ebcause I am sick

2) my warm bed

3) my loving wife

4) water

5) books

Weekly goals (until Friday)

- I started proactive creating learning material for the exams in spring

- the cellar is ordered and ready for some shelves to move in.

- having everything clean and orderly until friday.

- I finished my exposé in a convincing fashion

Chickendancelist:

gaming, procrastinating on YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

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30.11.2016 (Daily Habits Day 0)

Hi there. Lately I started to spend every day atleast 30min on reading and commenting at other people journals. This isn't an inherently bad Thing, but I fear I use it as an escape of my own problems. I will stop watching other journals until next friday. But I'll be back in a more balanced way afterwards.

I used the last two days to relax and to recover. It felt a bit like the time before I gamed. I was lazy there too but i didn't waste my time and instead was a really relaxed Person. I read a lot and was interested in a lot of things.

I watched a little YouTube yesterday and my wife called me on it (she is reading this entry's). She thinks I should do the chicken Dance :). But I think it is my Journal so my own (unspoken) rules apply. It wasn't a spontanious urge I followed.  It was a relaxing way to consume some Infotainment in a limited timeframe. If i would manage to use it that way all the time I wouldn't have to limit myself. I am actually  thinking about striking it from my banned activity list. I'll wait two weeks and if I think then the same way as today, I'll allow myself to use YouTube again.

The last two days gave me a little opportunity to get some distance from my immediate problems and I realized that I am very stressed lately. And that is the case because I stress myself and not because I have so much to do. I basically only need to develop a work ethic which is normal for most of the people.

Do your job as good as possible for you. Do it also if it sucks.  

All this little Goals are fine but there are to many of them in different areas of my life. This adds a amount of stress to my daily life because I always feel like I am behind at something. And then I do less and less because I don't get any positive feedback from reaching my weekly Goals. That's why I'll stop using weekly goals here. I just use trello where I have my todo-lists and order them. This in Addition with a calendar to plan my week roughly. But that is different then Goals. If smth. get in between my weekly plan it isn't stressing me out. And I still have the overview of my activities without so much pressure. Maybe I make one weekly Goal which is important and solely focus on this and hitting ym daily habits. I'll start a streak counter of my beneficial habits to get some positive feedback as I see the chain growing again.

Daily Habits:

In the morning: 20min Journal, 20min Meditation, 20min of reading

In the afternoon/evening: atleast 0min excercise, Shaving, making breakfast for next day, 30min of cleaning/tidying stuff up

I feel grateful for...

1) Feeling healthy again 2) Good books 3) nice new skirts 4) Luck 5)  learning things

Chickendancelist:

gaming, procrastinating on YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

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1.12.2016 (Daily Habits Day 0/30)

Still at day 0. Forgot to shave myself yesterday and didn't prepare my breakfast. Seems unsignificant because I did the "hard" stuff. But still to get into a routine I'll need to be strict. Atleast for some time. My goal is to go for this Routine 30 days without breaks. The new year will be a good opportunity to reevalulate things.

I am really enjoying the Book Code: The Hidden Language of Computer Hardware and Software. If someone of you is interested in reading an casual book which explains starting from electrical circuits in a really understandable way how Computers work I would definitely recommend you  this book.

I'll keep it short today. See you tomorrow

Daily Habits:

In the morning:  Journal, 20min Meditation, 20min of reading

In the afternoon/evening: atleast 10min excercise, Shaving, making breakfast for next day, 30min of cleaning/tidying stuff up

I feel grateful for...

1) Nice Job offers in my area 2) new Shirts* :D 3) new simple layout of this Journal 4)interesting talks wiht another intern about his work with an arduino  5) Interesting lectures

Chickendancelist:

gaming, procrastinating on YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

Edited by WorkInProgress

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1.12.2016 (Daily Habits Day 1/30)

Managed barely to do every daily Habit.  Actually I don't really feel like journaling here today. I would end up whining and I don't want to do that.I hope you have a better day then I had so far.

Daily Habits:

In the morning:  Journal, 20min Meditation, 20min of reading

In the afternoon/evening: atleast 10min excercise, Shaving, making breakfast for next day, 30min of cleaning/tidying stuff up

I feel grateful for...

1) day 1 done 2) clean water 3) my friends  4) my mother Feeling better 5) the day I met my wife

Chickendancelist:

gaming, procrastinating on YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

 

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1.12.2016 (Daily Habits Day 2/30)

OK I think this daily routine will hep a lot. I was very self-critical the last few day, but I hope that if I stick to these little things I'll feel more general confidence. It also doesn't take away much thinking time or willpower from the more actual/important stuff.

Daily Habits:

In the morning:  Journal, 20min Meditation, 20min of reading

In the afternoon/evening: atleast 10min excercise, Shaving, making breakfast for next day, 30min of cleaning/tidying stuff up

I feel grateful for...

1) day 2 2) hand creme 3) comfy jogging pants 4) coffee 5) living only 5min away from supermarket

Chickendancelist:

gaming, procrastinating on YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

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1.12.2016 (Daily Habits Day 2/30)

OK I think this daily routine will hep a lot. I was very self-critical the last few day, but I hope that if I stick to these little things I'll feel more general confidence. It also doesn't take away much thinking time or willpower from the more actual/important stuff.

This is important. You can't always feel your best, but these are the little things that contribute to that being a more consistent experience overall. Most times when I'm feeling down, I take a look at what's different in my life the past few days/weeks, and usually one of my routines has been forgotten, or thrown off. 

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4.12.2016 (Daily Habits Day 3/30)

A damokles sword in form of a deadline is hanging over my head. But I'll still stick to my routines to keep my sanity. surprisingly it works. I have still this sunday to do produce smth. great. It is quite possible that 'll make it. I just do what I do and hope the best. No panic seems to work for the first time. Without lying to my wife or any other trickery. This is definitely the right approach.

Daily Habits:

In the morning:  Journal, 20min Meditation, 20min of reading

In the afternoon/evening: at least 10min exercise, Shaving, making breakfast for next day, 30min of cleaning/tidying stuff up

I feel grateful for...

1) an idea for a nice split routine 2) sense of calmness 3) my supportive wife 4) breakfast waiting for me at the table 5) my short hair

Chickendancelist:

gaming, procrastinating on YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

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Whatever your going through man, you'll get through it. Where there is darkness, soon there will be light.

Except you are under ground ;)

Get well soon mangh it's certainly going around.  

Thanks for the Support.

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5.12.2016 (Daily Habits Day 0/30)

The good news is that I was able to barly make my Deadline. Worked yesterday a lot. I am really happy that I managed to to that without beeing too stressed out about it. I worked a lot, but I didn't let this influence my mood too much. My wife was really supporting what helped a lot. The bad enws are that I totally missed my afternoon Routine and have to restart my streak. New day new luck. I am really looking forward to the next few days :)

Daily Habits:

In the morning:  Journal, 20min Meditation, 20min of reading

In the afternoon/evening: at least 10min exercise, Shaving, making breakfast for next day, 30min of cleaning/tidying stuff up

I feel grateful for...

1) finishing just in time 2) feeling just a little bit tired after only 5 hours of sleep 3) flexible work times 4) my comfortable workchair 5) owning a mobile phone

Chickendancelist:

gaming, procrastinating on YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Not too sure what you meant by that lol. Probably meant except when you are underground. But I meant it in a theoretical way lol.^_^

Edited by Ben W

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5.12.2016 (Daily Habits Day 0/30)

Didn't made my routine but had  a great day. could have fitted it in in the midday though. I'll talk to my wife that she keeps me accountable (especially with the daily cleaning thing) about it. I am sure that will help a lot.

Daily Habits:

In the morning:  Journal, 20min Meditation, 20min of reading

In the afternoon/evening: at least 10min exercise, Shaving, making breakfast for next day, 30min of cleaning/tidying stuff up

I feel grateful for...

1) one year of marriage 2) cool plans for today 3) being able to take time for journalling and meditation 4) headphones 5) that christmas is in the air

Chickendancelist:

gaming, procrastinating on YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

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7.12.2016 (Daily Habits Day 0/30)

I had a great day yesterday. I really enjoyed spending some quality time with my wife.

Now it is time to double down on my Goals. I think developing These daily Habits will be a fight. They seems hamrless but basically thats meand 1hour of additional scheduled time every day. This is harder as I thought. But It's definetly possible to make this things a habit and I would benefit a lot from it.

I am still following headspace pretty consistently (as I ahd Internet Troubles I missed it a fw times). It gets to the Point were Andy( the Meditation gudie) says you should implement awareness in your daily life. And I often cathc myself thinking about random stuff instead of being Aware of my Actions. But I am Kind of reluctant to let this go. I always was someone who ahd his head in the clouds a Little bit and I don't see it necessarily as an evil thing. But maybe what I see as reflection time is just time wasted while I should Focus on what I do in the Moment? Maybe I even Need to take myself actively daydream time? That are jsut htoughts who go through my mind at the Moment but I will definetly try to be  more awae all of the time. I think that this resistance is jsut a resistance against Change and not against Awareness. If I see any bad consequences i can stop doing it.

Daily Habits:

In the morning:  Journal, 20min Meditation, 20min of reading

In the afternoon/evening: at least 10min exercise, Shaving, making breakfast for next day, 30min of cleaning/tidying stuff up

I feel grateful for...

1) warm clothes 2) online Information 3) ability to take free days if I want to 4) Feeling ready to create my own future 5) going in the nw year with a feeling of contentment

Chickendancelist:

gaming, procrastinating on YouTube, Porn, feeling sorry for myself (instead I'll take responsibility)

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