Ashley K. Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 I’ve been playing video games. Well, sort of. I quit for 5 days until I started to play on Friday or Saturday. I don’t remember which day I relapsed. It felt great but then I ended up feeling guilty after a few hours of playing. But then I kept doing it. Even though I felt guilty for playing, I still played the next day after I reflected and said I wouldn’t play anymore. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I don’t know why I can’t just quit. Some people are successful at quitting and some people aren’t. Is it because I want to progress in real life? Because I want to make money because making money in any game I play is pointless because I never have any “gold” because I keep buying what I don’t need. I'm even too impatient to get the things I need in the game because it takes too long. How am I supposed to cope with that in real life when it's even slower? What I did notice was that whenever I play an MMO and I progress, I just give up in the middle or near the end, poor and annoyed. I'm wondering if this is a reflection of my life or how I'm perceiving it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Robert Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 May be, you could try to get rid of the guilt. It sounds like the feeling of guilt might be one reason why you turn to games again. Like, you game for a day, well happens. But than you feel guilty and than, you numb that feeling of guilt with more gaming. It is just an idea, but may be, you could try to forgive yourself. If necessary, write a letter to yourself, explaining why you were playing again. Than, you try to forgive yourself. You could try it. If it works, you could apply it to other parts of your life too. Make a mistake, learn from it, shake it off and continue what you were doing before the mistake happened. Quitting games, letting go of an addiction is not a thing that you work on and than its done. Every day, you abstain. You say "no, thank you". And many people relapse. I relapsed multiple times and like you, every relapse was necessary and kinda helpful, because after every time, I learned a little something about myself. If you are impatient, try to train your patience. ;) I am sure there are tiny exercises to improve your patience. Aside from that - again - you do not have to feel guilty. You are not quitting video games because you must, but because you want to. You are not a failure, only because you relapsed. After all, you did play for a couple of days. Back in days, you played every day, right? So there is quite some improvement. And you will improve more and more over time. It is a tough quest, but you are doing it, girl! :) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magicalmerlinmark Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 On 25/02/2018 at 7:05 PM, Ashley K. said: I don’t know what is wrong with me. I don’t know why I can’t just quit. How's your diet? Sometimes when our nervous systems aren't getting enough nourishment we can become irritable, easily distracted and lack will power. Also compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Have you improved? Did you play video games 5 minutes less than yesterday? That's the kind of improvement you want to be focusing on. Be kind and compassionate to yourself and let the little wins start to snowball. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley K. Posted March 6, 2018 Author Share Posted March 6, 2018 My diet isn't where it should be. I'm a vegan but I tend to slip and eat junk food. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley K. Posted March 6, 2018 Author Share Posted March 6, 2018 Day 7: I didn't realize that it has been a week already. Over the week, I had the urge to play but I had to think about other times I've relapsed, how I felt in that moment and why I quit. What I know would happen is I would start playing for a couple of hours, get frustrated about having to get off and take care of my responsibilities, forget about the courses I purchased on Udemy. Basically just give up on everything and tunnel vision video games. I know that feeling. I don't want to go back to that. Thinking about it now makes me remember how I felt when I would play. First, it would be a relief like you're cracking your knuckles or stretching after waking up in the morning, then a sense of accomplishment by constantly grinding for an item(s) for hours just to make a particular weapon or armor. At that moment, it feels great, but then you realize that it only lasts for a few minutes or so. And then its over. You realize you just wasted so much of your time just to get that stupid virtual item you can physically touch or even use. So I am proud of myself for not relapsing, being able to reflect back on my mistakes and not do it again. I am excited that I found ways to occupy my time. I take my kids outside (when it's not so cold out), play with them, do chores, do my coursework from Udemy (Taking 4 courses at the moment) and starting a blog. I'm also working on my diet. I'm vegan and I eat junk food from time to time, I need to stop doing that. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugg Posted March 6, 2018 Share Posted March 6, 2018 6 hours ago, Ashley K. said: My diet isn't where it should be. I'm a vegan but I tend to slip and eat junk food. Hey, I'm vegan too, but can totally relate to the slip ups. I guess self control is something that some of us struggle with in many area's of our lives. Good Luck on your journey!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted March 6, 2018 Share Posted March 6, 2018 Vegans are welcome here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giblets Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Falafel gets my vote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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