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Kiki's journal


Kiki
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Hi everyone I am Kiki from Hong Kong, thanks for clicking in xD

Some of the members might know me as I did a 90 days detox during 2016 Winter and the process was kept track by writing journals in this forum. 

I successfully finished the detox but unfortunately I relapsed and gaming did hinder me from getting my works done and achieving whatever goals I had.

I am a 19 years old female now, who have no life purpose after quitting art school LOL

I decided to go back school and study subjects except visual arts in 2018, but I haven't decided what to study yet.

So this time I will restart my 90 days detox. If I succeed, I will probably extend my detox to 360 days, or maybe 1000 days!

 

These are the goals I want to achieve within these 90 days:
-Running my own Facebook fan page (as a doujin digital artist)

-Teach myself about human anatomy

 

And these are the actions I have to take :

-Stay in touch with other quitters by leaving comments in others' journal

-Write grateful journals everyday

-read reference books or classics like Bibles and Confucius Analects for relaxation

-read 1 comic book, watch 1 movie a week in maximum

-avoid streams, mindless browsing and animation

 

This is my recent digital drawing, hope you guys like it :)  and I will post new drawings here when I have any

SMALL.thumb.png.a3ce83df1cb7a4fdcb857fab

 

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  • 5 months later...

DAY 1

Ahhh I am back haha:S

Since I am living in Taiwan now and I don't want my English to get worse, I guess I should make use of this community and write more.

I finally started running my own art fan page. For those who want to take a look, please click here:

https://www.facebook.com/ionyau/

Thanks to the previous detox, I managed to make progress on my anime art skillsxD. My future goal is to draw a comic that tells a meaningful story.

Recently I realized that I rely more and more on games to procrastinate and escape from work. So I decided to detox again. Also 90 days this time and see what happens later.

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Woah, you were good already, but you've certainly improved! It would be amazing if you dropped some tutorials or useful stuff around in the Lifestyle section. Lot of guys here that love drawing and designing. 

Welcome back! 

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Well darn, I can't even think of a nice, not self-centered compliment for you, not even after trying for 10 minutes. Well, I guess it was worth every second, because I imagine it would take longer than that even to truly appreciate every little detail you've put into the image.

I gather you've been here before, so I imagine you'll find success again this time, maybe even for good. Good luck!

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Thanks Hitaru and JRK! I will take a look at the lifestyle section and see what I can provide.

Day2

Today I deleted every game in my phone.

However, I am struggling with whether I should avoid reading comics and watching anime.

In fact, I regard ACG artworks as a tool for escaping from reality and relaxation. However, a small portion of them have the power to affect people mindsets positively due to their story.

As I wish I can draw comics with meaningful story someday, massive reading of great stories is important to me. But I always end up with binge watching and losing control of other aspects in my life orz

I wish I can gain control of my life and finish the things I am supposed to do. I quit the previous art school and I am going to nursing school on September 2018. I am totally free these 9 months and I am supposed to practice drawing right now. But I still can't overcome the feeling of frustration of not being able to create story lol

I believe in a rare mindset from my instructor that to acquire anime drawing skills are only to present story. Only great story can touch other's heart. A picture alone (especially in anime style) is boring has no meaning to everyone including myself. But I realized that I am unable to create story after practice drawing skills for a long time. And I have no idea how to practice story writing. I know my struggle is weird but I am really worrying about it lol

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Maybe making a comic strip would work? Something short wouldn't be too hard once you can internally establish a few shallow facts about your characters' personalities and situations, and then all you need is a good one-liner and a bit of setup and there you go. Heck, you could start with the one-liner and make the characters around that, if that works better for you. You could even just try a joke you've already heard before, if you can't think of anything. After that you should be able to improve pretty reasonably, just by practicing and adding on to that one joke, adding maybe a comeback from another party, or more setup if you think it needed to be a bit more solid in the first place. Eventually you can add more jokes and expand upon that, and while it might take a while, really doing something small like a comic or even a simple joke can be made into the building blocks for complex stories, just by exposing more of a character and how they react to certain scenarios. All you would need would be some action scenes, which are pretty story non-intensive, and a bit of character development, which can be done partially through a joke, and there you have it, an entire episode of anime. Of course, you would need to draw it all, too, but . . .

Oh, and I disagree heartily with the belief that drawing is only there to present a story, or even that your drawings are in no way a story. A picture or drawing or image or whatever is only as enjoyable as the person looking at it can enjoy it. Art is for both enjoyment and for education, and if you decide to make something that people can look at for a few minutes or even seconds and feel better about themselves, then isn't that enough?

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On 28/12/2017 at 3:38 AM, Kiki said:

Thanks to the previous detox, I managed to make progress on my anime art skillsxD.

This is super inspiring. ? ? ? ?

15 hours ago, Kiki said:

Thanks Hitaru and JRK! I will take a look at the lifestyle section and see what I can provide.

Day2

Today I deleted every game in my phone.

However, I am struggling with whether I should avoid reading comics and watching anime.

In fact, I regard ACG artworks as a tool for escaping from reality and relaxation. However, a small portion of them have the power to affect people mindsets positively due to their story.

As I wish I can draw comics with meaningful story someday, massive reading of great stories is important to me. But I always end up with binge watching and losing control of other aspects in my life orz

I wish I can gain control of my life and finish the things I am supposed to do. I quit the previous art school and I am going to nursing school on September 2018. I am totally free these 9 months and I am supposed to practice drawing right now. But I still can't overcome the feeling of frustration of not being able to create story lol

I believe in a rare mindset from my instructor that to acquire anime drawing skills are only to present story. Only great story can touch other's heart. A picture alone (especially in anime style) is boring has no meaning to everyone including myself. But I realized that I am unable to create story after practice drawing skills for a long time. And I have no idea how to practice story writing. I know my struggle is weird but I am really worrying about it lol

Great job on deleting every game in your phone! :D

Regarding watching anime... I guess that's only a problem when you binge-watch, right? Perhaps try to put a daily time limit to yourself? You know, as our parents might have done when we were little. It can sound silly but if you are determined to stick to your limits, it should work. I'm assuming anime is not as "addictive" as other things such as videogames, so you might be able to control it with willpower alone. If you find you cannot control it, then yes... it might be better to stop anime cold-turkey for a while.

Regarding your creative struggle... well.. that's part of the creation process. Your drawings are AMAZING. And I partially agree with your instructor, that story is crucial, but I also agree with @J(e)RK, in that drawings alone can be enjoyable and even convey a feeling or a message on their own. I relate to both points of view because I've been on both sides of the dilemma when I produced music, a while back. In the end... it's really up to you to decide what aspects you want to focus on, what skills you want to practice and improve, and, most importantly, to decide why you draw.

Just know that if you want to improve your story-writing... you can do it. Practice it every day. Search online for ideas on how to do improve. Join communities about that. Etc. You can do it.... IF you want. ?

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JRK: Thanks for your detailed advice! I never think of using jokes to practice comic drawing. It will definitely be a feasible approach for me to temporarily settle the problem of not being able to write. Start with shallow and simple content is also great. I think I am much more clear about what I should do now.

Superiggy: I agree putting a daily time limit will help xD I spent a considerable amount of time watching anime and I always refuse to count the exact amount of it. It's time for me to face up to the problem. Thanks for your understanding :D I am reflecting on my purpose for drawing anime as well. In the past I thought I could skip the content part (because this is hard) and only draw cute anime girls to attract eyeballs. But I felt boring and unsatisfied once I have the ability to do it. I think I must focus on the content part now and make myself a better person that have the ability to produce true anime artworks. Thanks for the advice!

Day3

My friend invited me to play board and card game during new year's day:D That's always a great method to deal with cravings.

Thanks to the journal, I cleared up my mind and sought for advice from a senior student that majored in film making and worked for screen writing in the past.

He pointed out the ability of story writing can definitely be trained and everyone can do it with enough practice. He dreams to be a full-time mangaka (comic author) and I heartily appreciate his effort putted on his dream. He was doing manga copy drawing now and would start story boarding after that. Many of my friends were practicing as well, although some of them haven't known what story they wanted to create. 

So I guess it was time to move on and start working. I picked a manga and decided to do copy drawing practice right after finishing a drawing tutorial.

 

Daily Goal: 

  • Wake up before 9am
  • Practice copy drawing for at least 6 hours
  • Self-teach about story writing for 1 hour (maybe during my scoliosis treatment)
  • Exercise for 15 mins

 

Daily limit:

  • Watching anime: 1 hour
  • Cutting down sugar intake: Only 250ml sugary drink each day (used to drink 750ml milk tea a day LOL)
  • NO MORE YOUTUBE BINGE WATCHING LOLOL
Edited by Kiki
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Your work is great! I think that you could try storyboarding your own ideas (hell you could do a story or an illustration of a compulsion!) here on your journal. That way you get to try out your English and draw. You could share past stories from your life, just small things to start you off. Grave of the Fireflies by Studio Ghibli is a semi autobiographical story, the Scott Pilgrim comic series is derived from the author's youth. You could also try reading those folk/traditional Chinese stories and drawing images that are conjured in your mind from them! I think its a more interesting challenge to look at it. I wonder what a manga version of Ji Gong would look like...

 

I think that your tutor was alluding to the original intention of the style, which was to facilitate story telling through a comic strip/anime format. 

At the end of the day though art is whatever you want it to be. It can mean something, it can mean nothing at all, it can people happy, it can make them sad. It can be decorative or it can be a very intellectual endeavour. Anyhoo, enough of my rambling, happy new year and happy chinese new year on 16 Feb.

.

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Wow, 6 hours is a long time to work on something! I'm having trouble just trying to squeeze 1 or 2 hours of piano practice into every day . . .

Also, I'm glad that you managed to solve your story-telling dilemma! I'm glad I could help, and it's cool that you were able to ask an older student about it as well, I know a lot of people who would have a problem bringing themselves to do such a thing.

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NG: Thanks! Good idea for trying storyboarding here (Although expressing complicated thoughts in English is extremely hard to me T_T)! Let me try it after my copy drawing practice period haha.

Ah yes you have a point. I tend to treat fine art and ACG differently.  Fine art is about expressing the love towards life and is not confined in art forms. ACG is a more commercial thing and mostly for communication purpose. So picture without content in anime style will be weird to me...:S

JRK: Thanks :D In order to make improvement in drawing, a large amount of practice is necessary ;)

 

Day4

Everything is fine. The doctor that treats my scoliosis invited me for dinner with his family haha

I refuse to think too much today so Happy new year everyone

Daily Goal: 

Ⅹ Wake up before 9am 

   Still can't adjust my biological clock ORZ I can't fall asleep before 4am ahhhhh

V Practice drawing for at least 6 hours

3 Hour for making drawing material(will be released in a fan page that owned by me and my friends someday)

3 hour for copy drawing (I draw so slow that only half of the draft are done:Sbetter than nothing) (Original Manga is Jibaku Shounen Hanako-Kun. I love the art style and the story so much!)

20171231B.thumb.png.79ce04fb4d310ccefbcfef3e1ed8a88d.png

V Self-teach about story writing for 1 hour 

I read some content from a Chinese story writing tutorial website. I don't know if here are Chinese user but the link is here: http://www.rocknovels.com/

V Exercise for 15 mins

 

Daily limit:

V Watching anime: 1 hour

X Cutting down sugar intake: I accidentally ordered a extremely spicy noodle and can't help drinking a ton of sweet black tea LOL

V NO MORE YOUTUBE BINGE WATCHING

 

Edited by Kiki
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Wow, you're doing great on most of your goals! I won't lie, I've missed most of my goals, even on days with nothing else to do! Guess it's easier to free up time when living alone without many distractions, or maybe I just need to work harder :P

If I had any recommendations about how to get up earlier, it would be to use multiple alarms and set them up across the room. That's what I do, and even on the least motivated of days, it is really hard to ignore to annoying alarms, and in order to turn those alarms off, I have to get up. Maybe it's a bit extreme, but you gotta start somewhere.

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JRK: So that's the usage of journal! A journal can force you to reflect on yourself everyday and keep you from losing momentum.

Ah yes I am living alone in Taiwan for my scoliosis treatment now so I am provided with a relatively good environment to work. But being self-motivated is the most important thing.

Oh wow setting up alarms across the room XDD that means I have to run around to stop the alarm. Great idea.

Day5

I spent the whole day playing card and board game with my friends LOL I think maintaining relationships with friends is necessary. And the games were fun too.

The copy drawing is not hard but the quantity is large ORZ hope that I could copy the whole episode within this month

Daily Goal: 

Ⅹ Wake up before 9am :10am(Almost!!)

X Practice drawing for at least 6 hours: 4.5 hours only due to the board game

X Self-teach about story writing for 1 hour : As above

V Exercise for 15 mins

 

Daily limit:

V Watching anime: 1 hour

X Cutting down sugar intake: My fault :S can't resist the temptation while having meal outside

V NO YOUTUBE BINGE WATCHING

 

Edited by Kiki
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Well, it is early in the month. I'm sure you could get the entire chapter done with 3 hours a day for almost the entire month. I'm glad your day wasn't a bust, because with school, every day feel like a bust for me (sorry I'm kinda upset about school right now if you couldn't tell). And now I feel even worse about practically wasting my Christmas break.

Anyway, I'm glad you're doing well! Thanks for the recommendation on my journal, I'm thinking about writing some more personal feelings in a private journal sometime soon. Time just melts away when school is in.

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JRK: I spent 13 hours on the first page:/...still have 23 pages to go. Anyway thanks for your encouragement :D. When I was high school I even couldn't spend time on hobbies due to my poor time management.(As being admitted to university is hard in Hong Kong and I should put large amount of time on studying) So I think it's cool of you to still be able to develop skills in non-academic aspects. Private journal is also a good choice(I am too lazy to do it tough:ph34r:).

Day6

I realize when I fully focus on developing hobby, I won't have cravings for game!

Daily Goal: 

V Wake up before 9am

V Practice drawing for at least 6 hours

Progress for record:

1POST.thumb.png.48595167a1c4490b6db6db2a198d78f1.png

5a4c5343e71a0_.thumb.png.5ed25d88f98c0fc531c611542b81d922.png

V Self-teach about story writing for 1 hour

X Exercise for 15 mins: FORGOT=.=

 

Daily limit:

V Watching anime: 1 hour

V Cutting down sugar intake: YEAH!!

V NO YOUTUBE BINGE WATCHING

Edited by Kiki
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Day7

Today I received inquiry about commission from Gamania (a Taiwan game company) O.o My feelings are a bit complicated.

I was surprised and happy as I never genuinely receive a commission before(some of my supporter asked for commission before, but I haven't actually worked on one) , and this time is even from a professional company. And the inquiry also represented the admiration of my work from others.

But I was upset as I had been nasty to my instructor because of the low paying of commission from Taiwan. When I was small, my dream is to become a freelance illustrator. However, the cost of living in Hong Kong is much more higher than that of Taiwan. I would be starving if I rely on freelance job from Taiwan in the future. Unfortunately, Hong Kong lagged behind in ACG culture and getting local job is impossible to me. For this reason, I even decided escaping to nursing school in order to get a stable well-paid job in the future.

I was also disappointed about the meaninglessness of drawing anime style picture as mentioned before. I was working hard on copying drawing of comic, but actually that's a form of escapism from my altitude problem.

Anyway, I will receive the commission if the company are willing to give me a chance.

Daily Goal:

Wake up before 9am

V Practice drawing for at least 6 hours

I can't finish a page within 1 day:/

2.thumb.jpg.bbcfb4b0906ec7038c71d4e2941cc7c6.jpg

V Self-teach about story writing for 1 hour

V Exercise for 15 mins

 

Daily limit:

V Watching anime: 1 hour

V Cutting down sugar intake

V NO YOUTUBE BINGE WATCHING

Edited by Kiki
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Day 8

My friends talked about games while drawing with me online orz. I was a bit annoyed as I was going through a detox. 

Daily Goal:

V Wake up before 9am

V Practice drawing for at least 6 hours

Page2 100% , page3 50%

X Self-teach about story writing for 1 hour

no scoliosis treatment today

X Exercise for 15 mins

My muscle feel pain after the treatment the previous day so pass

 

Daily limit:

V Watching anime: 1 hour

V Cutting down sugar intake

V NO YOUTUBE BINGE WATCHIN

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Day 9

I realized that I felt extremely unwilling to refine the draw material that I would post on my friends fan page. Actually we all knew that the thing was useless except attracting fans. Doing it was only a waste of time. This is my 6th material and I was tired doing the tedious and useless work. However, no matter how the environment was, I should had the ability to do the things that I didnt want to do while cumulating the things that are truly important. Otherwise I would suffer when I have to attend nursing school.

Daily Goal:

V Wake up before 9am

V Practice drawing for at least 6 hours

Page3 100% , refining the drawing material

V Self-teach about story writing for 1 hour

X Exercise for 15 mins

Also pass

 

Daily limit:

V Watching anime: 1 hour

V Cutting down sugar intake

V NO YOUTUBE BINGE WATCHIN

Edited by Kiki
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Day 10

Nothing special so just update the daily quest

Daily Goal:

V Wake up before 9am

V Practice drawing for at least 6 hours

Page4 100% , page5 20%

V Self-teach about story writing for 1 hour

X Exercise for 15 mins

 

Daily limit:

V Watching anime: 1 hour

V Cutting down sugar intake

V NO YOUTUBE BINGE WATCHIN

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Day 11

Today was day off( my instructor told me to rest 1 day per week). I watched a classic anime called Shugo Chara, which is a great story about dreams and goals, targeted at young girl audience. I also did some research on Taoism. I am not a Taoist but Taoism is one of the most prevalent religions in Taiwan. I wish I can draw a comic using the supernatural being appeared in the myth as reference. I had a rough concepts in my mind now and hope that I can construct the story day by day.

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