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Giblet's Journal

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14 Aug 17

Days to go: 245

So yesterday was the run/race, which required me to get up early and catch a bus to the start line before all the roads started closing. As a result, I didn't get around to my journal post, but it was still a good day. There were so many people in the race that it was almost unbearable. Approximately 80,000 people participated. Ever tried to run in the middle of 80,000 people? It's hard work. I was constantly dodging people and trying to find gaps to run. I really hope that there isn't so many people trying the marathon later in the year or I am going to have a hard time hitting my stride or desired speed. I ended up aiming for a goal of 90 minutes or less, and achieved 79 minutes (5:45min/km), so I am quite happy with that. When I got to the half way mark I realised I was not going fast enough at all, that I was sitting in my long distance speed so was wasting a lot of time and picked up the pace. Felt like I almost sprinted the second half. Anyway if I had done that from the start I might have been able to qualify for the next group up which has less people in it and would make it easier to run, but I missed the qualifying time by about 2 minutes (5:30min/km). Knowing that I will not meet the time in the marathon either I am thinking of travelling to another race somewhere here in Aus to get a qualifying time. I talked to a few mates about the idea and they think I am crazy and just chasing medals! (not sure if I talked about my medal board idea on here yet) Of course all that meant to me is I must be doing the right thing if everyone thinks I am crazy ;)

The rest of the weekend was really great. I need to work on my triggers again, because the smallest things keep me reminiscing about my old handhelds (GB, DS, etc). I think it is all the research I have been doing on Raspberry Pi zeros for projects etc. So many people have used them to build handhelds it makes me wonder if they are used for any actual projects like the foundation designed them for! I managed to finish soldering together my son's white noise maker, now I just need to setup the software on it. I hope I can get that finished this week sometime. It is another busy week ahead of me. I didn't get as much study last week as I should have so there is that to do, as well as do some online posts, plus a few people at work are sick so I need to cover for them as well. Just keep swimming just keep swimming....

Had a nice Dad-Son day on Saturday. We went to a cafe and and had coffee and cake in the morning, then to a nearby park to run around and be crazy. Was a lot of fun and definitely something I need to do more often. It was quite humorous to see all these kids running around the park enjoying all the equipment, and then about 1 metre behind each of them was a parent shuffling their feet. It is like they had a pet!

Finally got the xbox up online for sale. Within an hour I had sold the extra controllers, now waiting for someone to snap up the console!

Aim for today is to be as productive as possible and not lose control of my emotions during what is going to be a stressful day. I hate Mondays.

Grateful corner

Playgrounds. Some serious money and effort goes into building these for public use. It must be a great feeling building them knowing that thousands of kids are going to have a lot of fun climbing all over them and pretending they were ship captains or pirates or just forgetting about their worries for a while or if they are having a tough time with some things. There are many kids out there that don't have access to a safe playground so I feel for them.

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Congrats on finishing the race...I can only imagine what running with 80,000 people must be like. Like an entire stadium running at once.

Keep it up @giblets, running isn't as easy as it sounds (ran 5m in AIT training before), except my group was a little smaller so the pace was moderate

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15 Aug 17

Days to go: 244

Running is as easy as it sounds @BigPete247! You don't need to start out running wanting to be a sprinter or a marathoner or expecting to have speed likes Usain Bolt. Running is running, just one foot after the other. Just you, your mind, and the road. Before you know it you will start to see gains. So many people are afraid to start because they thing they will be "bad' or it will be "painful". Even if you're out there for 5 minutes and doing the hot shoe shuffle, you're still running.

Had a great chat with @Cam yesterday, and I think I'll try to make a video about it today. It made so much sense - I am always trying to push my boundaries, and I have been when I was a kid. Not because I wanted more money or more achievements, I just wanted to do more. A great example is running after I did the half-marathon last year for charity, as soon as I finished most people were saying "never again". All I could think of is "when does the full marathon start?" I think I registered the very next day for the marathon in 364 days time. Same as when I was playing games, I could beat the game, sure, but can I do it faster? Can I do it with less lives? Can I do it with a higher score? I guess that is why I got into speedrunning so much. I thoroughly enjoyed it for those reasons. Now in my life I am trying to do more every day, be more productive, read more, listen more, lead more. I listen to podcasts on 2.5x so I can fit more in. I listen to audiobooks at 2x so I can get through more books. I use to do lists and systems so I can complete more at work. When I sat down with my leadership coach last year and tried to work out what was driving me and therefore why I do the things I do, after about three months I worked out it is because I want to be valued, by my family and by my friends. If I can do more I can be valued more. Anyway, the whole point of that rant is I am always living on the edge and never settling, and sometimes I translate that uncomfort into stress, which is what I am feeling right now with my life. I assume that my coping mechanisms have taken a bit of a hit, but I think the reality is I am probably just tired or need to fix up my nutrition. I know I can't take the foot off the pedal because then I get the feelings of guilt, being unproductive and become unhappy. I am like Keanu Reeves in Speed, need to keep the bus above 50! :D

I contemplated flying to another city this weekend that is doing a half-marathon. I got the taste again from the city2surf on the weekend, and want to do longer races and in events. I found that the event let me push harder and enjoy what I was doing a bit more, even if I had to dodge so many people. I don't think I will end up flying to this other race though, I had already organised a few things this weekend to do and I don't really want to cancel or change them, I tend to cancel too many things these days. Will go back to the drawing board and see what I can find for next weekend. I think part of what is driving me as well is I have decided to collect as many medallions as I can from these races. Usually they sell merchandise or photos or other stuff, which you look at or enjoy for about a day and then it just clutters up the house. But they also give you a medallion for finishing the race. I saw an idea for a board on twitter to display them all on the wall and it looks amazing, so I am going to collect all mine and do the same. In the long run it will not only save me money from not buying all the extra junk, but it will be something that I can be proud of. Just remember to put on sunscreen next time...

Spent far too much time yesterday researching Doom and Doom mods. While it amazes me that there are still communities dedicated to these old games and keeping to breath life into them, the result was I got barely any study done. I didn't end up getting involved in last week's debate so I really need to get in there this week, and reading about Doom mods is not helping at all. Even just writing about it now is derailing me a little. Push those thoughts out, and get back to reading academic journals for study. This is the point where I would run to clear the mind pretzel but it will have to wait until lunchtime.

Grateful corner

Work flexibility. I have probably been grateful for this before so am just retreading an old topic, but I can attribute a lot of my success this year with personal development and running down to how flexible work is. I try to go to work half an hour early and minimise my breaks so I can run over lunch and not have to rush back after a shower. There are few jobs that you can do this with, and it is the first time I have been able to do it. It will be a challenge in my next job but I will do my best to still find a way. It has definitely put a lot of things in perspective, and I will endeavour to be as flexible as possible from my team with their requests as well.

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15 Aug 17

Days to go: 244

Running is as easy as it sounds @BigPete247! You don't need to start out running wanting to be a sprinter or a marathoner or expecting to have speed likes Usain Bolt. Running is running, just one foot after the other. Just you, your mind, and the road. Before you know it you will start to see gains. So many people are afraid to start because they thing they will be "bad' or it will be "painful". Even if you're out there for 5 minutes and doing the hot shoe shuffle, you're still running.

Had a great chat with @Cam yesterday, and I think I'll try to make a video about it today. It made so much sense - I am always trying to push my boundaries, and I have been when I was a kid. Not because I wanted more money or more achievements, I just wanted to do more. A great example is running after I did the half-marathon last year for charity, as soon as I finished most people were saying "never again". All I could think of is "when does the full marathon start?" I think I registered the very next day for the marathon in 364 days time. Same as when I was playing games, I could beat the game, sure, but can I do it faster? Can I do it with less lives? Can I do it with a higher score? I guess that is why I got into speedrunning so much. I thoroughly enjoyed it for those reasons. Now in my life I am trying to do more every day, be more productive, read more, listen more, lead more. I listen to podcasts on 2.5x so I can fit more in. I listen to audiobooks at 2x so I can get through more books. I use to do lists and systems so I can complete more at work. When I sat down with my leadership coach last year and tried to work out what was driving me and therefore why I do the things I do, after about three months I worked out it is because I want to be valued, by my family and by my friends. If I can do more I can be valued more. Anyway, the whole point of that rant is I am always living on the edge and never settling, and sometimes I translate that uncomfort into stress, which is what I am feeling right now with my life. I assume that my coping mechanisms have taken a bit of a hit, but I think the reality is I am probably just tired or need to fix up my nutrition. I know I can't take the foot off the pedal because then I get the feelings of guilt, being unproductive and become unhappy. I am like Keanu Reeves in Speed, need to keep the bus above 50! :D

I contemplated flying to another city this weekend that is doing a half-marathon. I got the taste again from the city2surf on the weekend, and want to do longer races and in events. I found that the event let me push harder and enjoy what I was doing a bit more, even if I had to dodge so many people. I don't think I will end up flying to this other race though, I had already organised a few things this weekend to do and I don't really want to cancel or change them, I tend to cancel too many things these days. Will go back to the drawing board and see what I can find for next weekend. I think part of what is driving me as well is I have decided to collect as many medallions as I can from these races. Usually they sell merchandise or photos or other stuff, which you look at or enjoy for about a day and then it just clutters up the house. But they also give you a medallion for finishing the race. I saw an idea for a board on twitter to display them all on the wall and it looks amazing, so I am going to collect all mine and do the same. In the long run it will not only save me money from not buying all the extra junk, but it will be something that I can be proud of. Just remember to put on sunscreen next time...

Spent far too much time yesterday researching Doom and Doom mods. While it amazes me that there are still communities dedicated to these old games and keeping to breath life into them, the result was I got barely any study done. I didn't end up getting involved in last week's debate so I really need to get in there this week, and reading about Doom mods is not helping at all. Even just writing about it now is derailing me a little. Push those thoughts out, and get back to reading academic journals for study. This is the point where I would run to clear the mind pretzel but it will have to wait until lunchtime.

Grateful corner

Work flexibility. I have probably been grateful for this before so am just retreading an old topic, but I can attribute a lot of my success this year with personal development and running down to how flexible work is. I try to go to work half an hour early and minimise my breaks so I can run over lunch and not have to rush back after a shower. There are few jobs that you can do this with, and it is the first time I have been able to do it. It will be a challenge in my next job but I will do my best to still find a way. It has definitely put a lot of things in perspective, and I will endeavour to be as flexible as possible from my team with their requests as well.

True, @giblets, you have to start off slow to gain more distance, i once backed down from running 10 laps around a mall (equivalent to almost 7 miles), but eventually i had to face my fears, pick a day, and just run. I really didn't care about where i was going just as long as i can feel good for doing something right. Good luck on your half-marathon.

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16 Aug 17

Days to go: 243

It can be, @Mettermrck, you just need to be deliberate in the podcasts you listen to. If I find I am listening to a podcast just for the sake of it or I am not paying full attention to it because I am not sucked in, I skip it. A podcast can only be skipped 3 times before it is removed from my list.

I didn't run yesterday, I felt really drained at lunch time and after work is always complicated. When I was too drained last week to run I reflected on it to try and not get down about my progress and worked out that I was depressed which was causing me to not have any energy. I was hoping my work week broke that, but here is that feeling again, almost the exact same point in the week. It's not lingering from the weekend long run either because I didn't really do a long run this week, just the race. I will be fine, the last few times I have got like this it was because I felt bored and trapped at work with no light at the end of the tunnel. But there is light at the end of the tunnel - I start the sweet job I wanted and got in less than 12 months - so I just need to sure I keep my business in order until then. I was contemplating putting a counter up in my office to keep me going, but I think that would be more like wishing my life away. While I do feel bored and trapped at work I need to remember the positives - the flexibility, the hours, and the fact I get to see my son far more than I have with any other job. I don't think it's a social craving either, as I got over that problem by skyping my friends as much as possible now, and they enjoyed it too and commented that we need to do it more often because it is so easy for everyone to commit to, especially when some of them are out of town. Plus I get to annoy you guys too ;) Maybe its also because I am slipping a bit behind with my studies because I am trying to do so much right now. 

Apart from that nothing much to report from yesterday. I haven't done my video blog for two weeks, I might try and fit it in today. The thoughts of gaming have crept into my mind a lot, especially about Doom, but I won't let myself fall to it. I have contemplated playing in moderation lately, like I think everyone does either in the detox or after it, but I just can't justify giving it the time. There are too many other things to do, and I will make sure I keep doing them before I even think I have time for games.

Grateful corner

Some people are just so freaking nice. It does not cost anything to be nice, yet it seems to escape the majority of people. I spoke to quite a few customer service reps yesterday and they were all so kind and nice that it had a resonating effect on me for a while. I wonder if these people know the effect they have on others. I appreciate it after a tough day, and it reinforces the thought that I also need to be nice more.

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I occasionally have a day where my body says...we need a break, period. There is that temptation to beat myself up for being weak but I take a day off (just one) and by the next day I'm ok again. It has to be serious exhaustion, of course, to make me do that.

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I occasionally have a day where my body says...we need a break, period. There is that temptation to beat myself up for being weak but I take a day off (just one) and by the next day I'm ok again. It has to be serious exhaustion, of course, to make me do that.

Usually, i don't try to beat myself up on my off days but when i do its because it has something to do with the yard, after that the exhaustion just jumps on me. 

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17 Aug 17

Days to go: 242

So I got back on the bandwagon with running. Happy about that. Felt really good and I pushed myself further than I needed to run. There is a corner near my house which is exactly 8km away, and about 300m before I got to it the training app said to turn around, but I kept going to that corner. Going to try and aim to get there every day as a minimum, as I know when I first started the idea of that would have been insane. When I first started the half way mark used to be this foot bridge and I was always so proud to reach it that I would take a photo of myself. Now I run over the bridge and I am still warming up. Maybe that will be the same with this corner one day.

I am still letting my emotions control me. While I feel I am taking a few steps forward every day with it, I also feel like I am in the "two steps forward, one step back" regime. I get the gut feeling I have left this too late to control for it to not impact my professional life, but I must keep trying. Even if only my personal life reaps the benefits, then at least it's going to be productive.

Today is the third attempt at a study day, the last three weeks haven't really worked out because I have accidently planned things over the top of it, mostly meetings or travel. Not today. Today I will catch back up and get involved again in the online debate.

Grateful corner

Take home containers. Might sound lame but I am grateful that some restaurants let you take your leftover food home! When I am eating it the next day it brings back the memories of going out to dinner and the conversations that were had. Plus the food is always good and it makes me feel like I am being frugal :D

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I am still letting my emotions control me. While I feel I am taking a few steps forward every day with it, I also feel like I am in the "two steps forward, one step back" regime. I get the gut feeling I have left this too late to control for it to not impact my professional life, but I must keep trying. Even if only my personal life reaps the benefits, then at least it's going to be productive.

Be careful about analyzing it like this. If you were to expand your perspective on a year or two ago and the progress you've made since then, you'd be blown away at how far you've come. Just like if you expand out a few years from now, the potential for progress is immense. But when you get caught in looking at your progress on a day-to-day basis, it can be discouraging. It's all a matter of perspective. And at the end of the day, who cares? Are you going to stop trying to make progress and just give-in to a life overrun by your emotions? Or are you going to continue learning and adapting, even if the progress is slower than you'd hope? I imagine it's the latter, so with that said, you can stop wasting your energy evaluating your progress with expectations of a certain outcome, and just keep doing the work necessary to improve.

Edited by Cam Adair

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17 Aug 17

Days to go: 242

So I got back on the bandwagon with running. Happy about that. Felt really good and I pushed myself further than I needed to run. There is a corner near my house which is exactly 8km away, and about 300m before I got to it the training app said to turn around, but I kept going to that corner. Going to try and aim to get there every day as a minimum, as I know when I first started the idea of that would have been insane. When I first started the half way mark used to be this foot bridge and I was always so proud to reach it that I would take a photo of myself. Now I run over the bridge and I am still warming up. Maybe that will be the same with this corner one day.

I am still letting my emotions control me. While I feel I am taking a few steps forward every day with it, I also feel like I am in the "two steps forward, one step back" regime. I get the gut feeling I have left this too late to control for it to not impact my professional life, but I must keep trying. Even if only my personal life reaps the benefits, then at least it's going to be productive.

Today is the third attempt at a study day, the last three weeks haven't really worked out because I have accidently planned things over the top of it, mostly meetings or travel. Not today. Today I will catch back up and get involved again in the online debate.

Grateful corner

Take home containers. Might sound lame but I am grateful that some restaurants let you take your leftover food home! When I am eating it the next day it brings back the memories of going out to dinner and the conversations that were had. Plus the food is always good and it makes me feel like I am being frugal :D

Good job @giblets, just like what @Cam Adair said, progress is progress your emotions can guide you to it if you have purpose. I never knew you could take home your plate after you finish in a restaurant. I eat too fast.

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18 Aug 17

Days to go: 241

I agree @Cam, I have come a long way. I set my 'benchmark' or 'comparison point' as 4 years ago in 2013, as I had a massive epiphany on what I was doing with my life and what I wanted to achieve for the rest of it. Prior to that point, I was a jerk and I hate reflecting on how I acted and how I treated people. Fast forward to now though, and I get frustrated that I allow myself to 'relapse' so often. I get it is a slow process with speed bumps in the road, I just wish it was fast enough that it stops resulting in people avoiding me or thinking I am 'difficult'. I'll keep plugging away at it like the little engine that could. What I have been telling myself after your post is that even if I can't develop it fast enough to get to where I want to be in life, at least I can develop enough that I can have a positive impact on my son's life and put him in a good place mentally that he can make a name for himself. That's the meaning of parenthood (and/or life) right? So deep for first thing in the morning :D

@Mettermrck it might be different in the big US of A, but there was a phase down under where it was either made illegal or discouraged to take leftovers home. This was because there was a lot of debate about allergies and/or food poisoning due to not putting any nutritional value on the box or having a mark on it to say when it was made. Either they have gone back to allowing people to do it and take the risks in their own hands in the last few years, or I have just started asking again after all this time. Either way it is awesome, and I like it. I know there was another movement to box up your leftovers and give it to homeless people, or maybe that's the movement that caused the concern. In the US surely that would be a big thing, considering your serving sizes are so massive!

@BigPete247, I guess you don't get the name Big Pete if you didn't eat all of your dinner :D

Yesterday was another challenge. Thankfully I didn't get emotional about anything, just so much going on at work I started to crack at the edges. Luckily I had my study afternoon so I was only there for half the day. I did get a few calls trying to get me to go back into work but I held my ground. I don't want to set a precedent that my study hours are not compulsory and not negotiable, and besides I was two weeks behind on what I needed to do. This morning I got up early as usual and went straight to my notes and readings rather than coming here or surfing the web. That's definitely the way to do it, early in the morning, don't touch the phone or any other websites other than the university, minimise distractions. Get that flow on. As a result I submitted my discussion points for this week, it took me until Friday but at least they are in. They aren't perfect but it should spark some discussion and I will add to it tomorrow morning before my run.

I feel like gaming is starting to edge itself back in my life which I am not quite happy about. I haven't started playing games again but I have found myself doing a bit of reading about Hexen/Heretic. It's a rabbit hole, it started with me talking to colleagues about selling my xbox, which that started a debate of what would happen if we wanted to get together for a LAN or to game together online, which lead to a discussion about Doom and how it runs on anything, even a Raspberry Pi, and that it's requirements are so low it should work on crappy (phone) connections. Now that has lead to me reading about the Doom engine, the breakthroughs it made, and what other games used the engine, thus we reach our point of Hexen. I guess what is making me dwell on it is nostalgia for when I played the demo as a kid. I won't allow myself to fire it up though, as I keep thinking back to the Getting Things Done podcast by Asian efficiency. They compared Ramsey's quote of "every dollar has a job" to productivity, saying "every hour has a job". Every hour does have a job, and there is only 168 of them in every week so I need to make sure I am using them all to further what I actually want to achieve; like studying, running, and family. I don't group work in the "big 3" as it's a facilitator for those 3 right now. It will probably change in my next job where I want to impress so I can get considered for another promotion. If only I could start that job now, it would be great.

Grateful corner

Library services. I really think libraries are underrated, especially in 2017. They are more than just books, they are a quiet place to drown out the noise of the world, they are a place that people who don't have computers or a space to be productive can use, and importantly for me, they have 'educator' access to a lot of academic journals. I really hope they don't go by the way of the dodo and get phased out. I do need to spend more time in the one near my house if for nothing else to show my support for the service and everything they do.

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In a way, I'm glad you're still getting game thoughts since you're further along than me so I don't feel so unique. I still get gaming thoughts from time to time, especially history games in my case.

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18 Aug 17

Days to go: 241

I agree @Cam, I have come a long way. I set my 'benchmark' or 'comparison point' as 4 years ago in 2013, as I had a massive epiphany on what I was doing with my life and what I wanted to achieve for the rest of it. Prior to that point, I was a jerk and I hate reflecting on how I acted and how I treated people. Fast forward to now though, and I get frustrated that I allow myself to 'relapse' so often. I get it is a slow process with speed bumps in the road, I just wish it was fast enough that it stops resulting in people avoiding me or thinking I am 'difficult'. I'll keep plugging away at it like the little engine that could. What I have been telling myself after your post is that even if I can't develop it fast enough to get to where I want to be in life, at least I can develop enough that I can have a positive impact on my son's life and put him in a good place mentally that he can make a name for himself. That's the meaning of parenthood (and/or life) right? So deep for first thing in the morning :D

@Mettermrck it might be different in the big US of A, but there was a phase down under where it was either made illegal or discouraged to take leftovers home. This was because there was a lot of debate about allergies and/or food poisoning due to not putting any nutritional value on the box or having a mark on it to say when it was made. Either they have gone back to allowing people to do it and take the risks in their own hands in the last few years, or I have just started asking again after all this time. Either way it is awesome, and I like it. I know there was another movement to box up your leftovers and give it to homeless people, or maybe that's the movement that caused the concern. In the US surely that would be a big thing, considering your serving sizes are so massive!

@BigPete247, I guess you don't get the name Big Pete if you didn't eat all of your dinner :D

Yesterday was another challenge. Thankfully I didn't get emotional about anything, just so much going on at work I started to crack at the edges. Luckily I had my study afternoon so I was only there for half the day. I did get a few calls trying to get me to go back into work but I held my ground. I don't want to set a precedent that my study hours are not compulsory and not negotiable, and besides I was two weeks behind on what I needed to do. This morning I got up early as usual and went straight to my notes and readings rather than coming here or surfing the web. That's definitely the way to do it, early in the morning, don't touch the phone or any other websites other than the university, minimise distractions. Get that flow on. As a result I submitted my discussion points for this week, it took me until Friday but at least they are in. They aren't perfect but it should spark some discussion and I will add to it tomorrow morning before my run.

I feel like gaming is starting to edge itself back in my life which I am not quite happy about. I haven't started playing games again but I have found myself doing a bit of reading about Hexen/Heretic. It's a rabbit hole, it started with me talking to colleagues about selling my xbox, which that started a debate of what would happen if we wanted to get together for a LAN or to game together online, which lead to a discussion about Doom and how it runs on anything, even a Raspberry Pi, and that it's requirements are so low it should work on crappy (phone) connections. Now that has lead to me reading about the Doom engine, the breakthroughs it made, and what other games used the engine, thus we reach our point of Hexen. I guess what is making me dwell on it is nostalgia for when I played the demo as a kid. I won't allow myself to fire it up though, as I keep thinking back to the Getting Things Done podcast by Asian efficiency. They compared Ramsey's quote of "every dollar has a job" to productivity, saying "every hour has a job". Every hour does have a job, and there is only 168 of them in every week so I need to make sure I am using them all to further what I actually want to achieve; like studying, running, and family. I don't group work in the "big 3" as it's a facilitator for those 3 right now. It will probably change in my next job where I want to impress so I can get considered for another promotion. If only I could start that job now, it would be great.

Grateful corner

Library services. I really think libraries are underrated, especially in 2017. They are more than just books, they are a quiet place to drown out the noise of the world, they are a place that people who don't have computers or a space to be productive can use, and importantly for me, they have 'educator' access to a lot of academic journals. I really hope they don't go by the way of the dodo and get phased out. I do need to spend more time in the one near my house if for nothing else to show my support for the service and everything they do.

Big Pete is my name, Clean Plates is my game, Doom actually started my gaming addiction when i was young, don't lose your edge in quitting @giblets.

Edited by BigPete247

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20 Aug 17

Days to go: 239

So I missed yesterday because I was terribly hungover. I very rarely get that bad because I get angry over how unproductive it makes me, and it sure did pretty much waste all of my morning yesterday. I didn't get out of bed until 0730, and then when I did get up I couldn't do anything. I was only angry about drinking being unproductive until I was well enough to go for my run in the afternoon. I think when I was at about kilometre number 22 when I thought to myself, I really need to get serious about my diet to try and help me with my training, and drinking is not helping at all. I have talked before about sorting out my diet and cutting out alcohol but that is all it has been so far, talk. Time to turn it into action. I have completely cut out gluten from my diet, I did do some research on paleo to try that as well but I think that would be a significant challenge to undertake that diet at the moment with my family. Since I have cut out gluten I feel great, the only times I generally don't feel great is when I have a beer, which naturally has gluten in it. Maybe this is the prodding I need to finally get rid of that too. Stop just talking giblets and take some action. It's hard when so many social events over here involve beer, or maybe it's not just over here but it's the social events that I go to.

Anyway, disappointed rant over. I did finally go for my run yesterday afternoon and broke 30km, but boy oh boy was it painful. I felt really good for the first 22km and then I hit the wall, even with taking my supplements and drinking lots of water. I assume it is because I hadn't been giving my body the right food or vitamins for the last day or so. It really got me down because I felt like I took a step back from the week before, and because there is only 4 weeks until the marathon now, in fact it is exactly 4 weeks today, and I will need to do another 20km on top of that. I contemplated stopping running at the 25km mark but I wouldn't let myself to. The only one that was going to lose out if I had stopped running them was myself, as these runs are building my pain threshold and getting used to running for so long. Plus I thought if I let myself give up when it starts to get tough then there is no way I will finish the marathon. My body had to realise that even though it hurts it still needs to keep going. I pretty much walked the last 3-4km to get home, but I made sure I wasn't dragging my feet. The time I put in the first 15km made up for it though, as I still managed to maintain a pace of about 6:15m per km overall, which is 2:15min faster than I need to be to miss the slow bus. I would have been at least 30 minutes ahead of the slow bus when I felt like I needed to have a walk.

Not much else has happened really. I wanted to do some electronics fiddling yesterday and some study but not achieve it. Did spend some time with my son which was a lot of fun as always and some grocery shopping. It would have been an ideal day to sit and play games so then I wouldn't have to think about how bad I was feeling but that's not going to happen anymore.

Oh and my xbox sold! Very happy about that. I haven't been paid for it so I assume it is going to be a pick-up/drop off which is fine, I was a bit worried about putting it in the post. I am now running out of electronic devices in my house, that makes 4 I have sold for a nice chunk of change. The next thing to go will be my DS, I wonder how much it is worth. It amazes me how much money I had sunk into stuff like this which was now just sitting around collecting dust. Wake up man.

I almost forgot to say I really enjoyed that I had to go looking my journal on the forums! It had fallen to middle of the second page, which made me smile. It means there are so many people here in our little community talking about their paths and helping each other out! Lots of respect for you all and @Cam for making it happen. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of effort he has put into this place and it has now taken a life of its own.

Grateful corner

I am very grateful for my parents. I do tell them sometimes but I probably do not tell them enough. Yesterday I saw a handful of people that made me think, "I wonder what your upbringing was like for you to have those values". My parents put a lot of effort into bringing me up right with the right set of values and with morals and ethics. I couldn't be the person I am today without them, warts and all. I spent some time reflecting on this last night and it really lights the fire for doing the right thing for my son, I want him to be raised even better.

Edited by giblets
Almost forgot the journal piece

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I am in awe of your running skills, sir! I, too, am contemplating improving my diet from just "less calories" to better fare...maybe stuff that I cook myself. Yes, less talk and more action for me too. ?

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21 Aug 17

Days to go: 238

While just "less calories" @Mettermrck is a good plan, I think there are better ones! I have tried to switch to foods that I like to eat, but turn out to be a lot healthier for me. We bought a lot more fish during our grocery shopping this weekend as that is apparently a lot better for you with better almino acids, and I made sure we got the fish that I like. So no crumbs or batter, and mainly trout or salmon that I can grill with a little bit of butter. It probably helps that I was brought up on very basic foods so thats what I tend to prefer. Anyway I need to do some more research on this to get it right, maybe I will have some time today in a break at work.... yeah right highly unlikely!

Yesterday was an intense day, very busy. Sadly I got very little study done except for read other people's online posts. I want to get some posts in today before I head off to work so I will see how I go. There is one online debater that is getting me emotional with their comments but I am just ignoring those.

Looks like Doom is now my current vice. I keep reading a lot about the open source community. The reason I think I am doing this is I find the open source community fascinating, which began when I first discovered linux in about 2009 after I saw one of those netbooks for sale for $150. It amazes me that someone has put in so much work maintaining an old game and making it so much better, just like the open source community does with things like old hardware. You really don't have to go out every year and keep buying new things, you probably need to just look elsewhere for your software! The other reason I am probably taking the bait on wasting time on this is I read the John's (Romero & McCarmack) autobiography a few years ago about their life right up to when the company split. It was a really good read.

Anyway time to re-focus. I can't let this invade my brain and undo all the work on productivity that I have achieved in the last 125 odd days. I didn't even work on any electronics this weekend as a result. I have set some new goals to help with refocusing myself, which involve doing two debate posts a day, which I think I can achieve even at work or at home, as long as I have done all the readings. Going to avoid the peanut who is making me emotional on the forums due to his incredibly low self awareness.

Grateful corner

1. The opportunity to take my son to swimming lessons on the weekend so I can actually attend

2. Friends who are happy and flexible to spend time with

3. Affordable mobile (cell) phone plans to stay connected

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21 Aug 17

Days to go: 238

While just "less calories" @Mettermrck is a good plan, I think there are better ones! I have tried to switch to foods that I like to eat, but turn out to be a lot healthier for me. We bought a lot more fish during our grocery shopping this weekend as that is apparently a lot better for you with better almino acids, and I made sure we got the fish that I like. So no crumbs or batter, and mainly trout or salmon that I can grill with a little bit of butter.

I envy you a little, you fish-eater xD. Although I don't like fish much, I do admit that it's mostly healthy and very good from a dietary standpoint. Good stuff!)

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