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Giblet's Journal


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25 May 17

Game Free: 38 (17 Apr)

I really don't have much to add today, I have been so busy with work. The good news I guess is I feel a bit more productive and upbeat than I have all week, but the bad news is I still haven't had the progress on my study like I have wanted to. I saw someone today who said "How do you balance your study with your work? You're crazy." It made me laugh and put what I am trying to achieve in perspective - but I do need to try harder.

I have officially abandoned my RPi laptop project - there is not enough space in the Droid Lapdock to mount it, even with all the modifications I have done to the case, and when I was thinking about putting it inside of an Eee Pc 900 case, I can't find any screens that are a suitable size. I did waste some time this afternoon looking on eBay and Gumtree for netbooks etc that I could get on the cheap but nothing that either I want or that are nearby that I can pick up. Depresses me a little bit. I am not feeling overly positive this week and I think this is a contributing factor - but I must keep plugging on. I did break my Resilio server today when I tried to change some settings to get it to boot - so now it doesn't work at all and I have no idea how to fix it. Oh well. It was fantastic while it lasted, I don't want to waste any more time bumbling around in the dark with it right now.

The only goal I had for today was to survive work and not look like an idiot - I think I managed that relatively well, I am feeling more and more like myself again and not seeing the social barriers that I had been battling with for the last 18 months. Study has stagnated.

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23 Nov 17 Days to Ultra-Trail: 172 Days until I graduate: ~333 Days to next run: 16 @ Auckland // 52 @ Hobart Roger thing, thing and the other thing, @Hitar

So the run in the morning proved to be a success! I totally underestimated the craziness that was the city for setting up for New Years fireworks though, so the running involved a lot of back tracking

Have been a bit frustrated the last few days with a few things, so I have decided to try and fix what I can influence over. So, today, I am running in the morning for the first time in years. I h

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26 May 17

Game Free: 39 (17 Apr)

Alright, last day before Vegas. I feel a little bit more organised but still not excited. Maybe I will get excited when I go through customs. I still am a bit depressed/flat and I can't seem to pinpoint why - I can only really put it down to how unproductive I have been this week and how none of my projects have really had any progress. Work has been a bit crazy and meh at the same time. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above. I can solve the productivity piece by "sitting with it", but I am not sure how to solve the other two. Maybe the break is what I need to pause and recenter.

Have a few books for the plane and of course a lot of study to do, as well as I am planning to sleep as much as I can. I think that should be enough to keep myself occupied for the trip. See how I go. Not sure how/if/when I will continue my journal entries during my travels, but I will do my best. There wont be as much content but I should maintain the habit, and I could at least document if I am feeling a bit better.

Preoccupation is being a challenge again - this time it is about my failed RPi project. Can't shake it and focus on something else. Maybe I should do some research on how to overcome preoccupation in general, not just with games.

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08/09 June 17 (depending on your timezone!)

Game Free: 54 (17 Apr)

I'm back! Trip is almost over, I'm writing this sitting in the Toronto airport, which I think so far is the most unclean airport I have been to in the world. That may say something more about where I have been more than the actual state of the airport though! So many highlights of this trip, it would be too hard to list them all, but meeting Cam in Vegas was a blast! I am so thankful of how those dates lined up, and the statistics in the presentation was mindblowing - if you haven't watched his keynote yet, I do thoroughly recommend it. I felt quite chuffed that I recognised a few quotes that Cam used in his speech from some of others journals on here. We are a tighter knit community than I realised. I got a selfie with Cam in Vegas that I will try to remember to upload when I get home or in my LAX layover - hopefully I don't accidently upload the myriad of selfies I took with random reality tv show stars there in Vegas. The coaching session was great, if you are able to have one with Cam I do encourage you to do so, I have got a clear and easy tool that I am going to try and identify some patterns of my anxiety and/or control it. I might try and create the template on the plane so that it is ready to go when I get home. The keynote almost hit nicely on the 45 day mark (not including the relapse and 22 days) so that was a nice touch.

I don't really have much to update here. I haven't been able to do study as much as I wanted while I was travelling. Even though I forced myself to find some time during the day (my getting up early routine), I found that I was too distracted that it was impossible. I guess the real test now is how much I can get done when I get back home - I will have a train smash of two assignments and a few work deadlines to balance with spending time with family. This trip has given me a new found appreciation for my family as I have missed them so much, so I need to spend more time away from my computer, whether constructive or not, and spend more time with them. This will be a challenge, but one I think will be worthwhile. It might not be as tough if I didn't want to train so much now I am healthy again, but after putting on 6kg on this trip, I need to get out there and hit the pavement!

The last-minute trip to Toronto paid dividends. Not only did I get to attend my first ball game where Donaldson crushed a HR to beat the Yankees in the 8th (look at me talking baseball lingo now), but I got to spend five days with a good friend that I had met through World of Warcraft ten years ago. I was a bit worried that he would want to talk about gaming or play some, but it turns out he has quit too, so we ended up talking a lot about life after not playing games. I think he is a lot further down his path than I am, but it was really refreshing to talk to someone who I had met through gaming, and our relationship was built around gaming, to now be talking to him about how enjoyable life is without them. It was fantastic and I really feed recharged.

I survived the flight over here without games too. Turns out there was nothing to stress out about after all - I slept for the majority of the flight, watched a few tv episodes (I try to avoid this generally because I think its a waste of time) and doing some study. So much more needs to be done though. My return flight (15hrs) is overnight so I am hoping I can get as much sleep as possible on the flight so when I get home at 6am that I will be able to spend time with my family straight away. I have two more Gamequitters podcasts downloaded and ready to go as well.

I hope everyone else is going well with their journies! I look forward to reconnecting with everyone over the next few days.

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11 June 17

Game Free: 56 (17 Apr)

So I missed yesterday because the jet lag hit me like a freight train. I slept for about 10 hours on the flight so that when I landed I could spend the day with my son, which I did and was a lot of fun. But as soon as it hit about 7pm, I almost fell asleep standing up instantly. It was crazy, I can't remember the last time I was hit with something like that. So my plans to potter around on my computers, do my daily entry, some duolingo and get a lot of my ideas and plans out of the way that I had thought of on my trip went out the window as I went straight to bed. The other side of that is when the clock struck 4am - zing! I was awake. Turned out to be advantageous though as my son woke up about half an hour later and wouldn't go back to sleep so I went and took care of him while my wife rested. So I guess things happen for a reason.

Since I have been back though the urges to play games have been intense. I can't stop thinking about them. I think it is probably because I have so much to do for study and work and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind, and my usual escape when things became too hard was to play some games. I am thinking I might make a little work sheet similar to what I have created for anxiety to try and work out the causes for the urges and give a moment to stop and recentre. It is probably something covered off in respawn if I actually dedicated some time to finishing it.

Today I am going to minimize my time on the computer though and maximise it with my family. The train smash of my study can be dealt with later, and I fear if I sit here and try and force myself to get on with it I will not be very productive, and will end up with me looking at game pages or something.

Congrats to Mhyrion for getting to 90 days! That must feel amazing. Here is to the next 90.

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12 June 17

Game Free: 57 (17 Apr)

So I am still having massive issues focusing. I always blamed this on gaming so I don't know what the problem is now. I have decided to not look at RPi projects or tinker with my setup like I usually like to do at least once a day until I have finished this semester. I think the more I tinker the more I tend to spend money on new projects when I already have too many going anyway, and the more I get frustrated when things don't work out exactly how I want them to, which makes me agitated towards my family or makes it harder to focus on study.

I think maybe this might be the nudge I need to look more into flow states. Maybe I need to tap my flow state before trying to study, whether that be by a run or something else. I might try to find a short youtube clip on it to give me a bit of motivation and then get on with it.

I am really unhappy with how many urges I have been having to play games since I got back from my trip. It feels like I am starting out on the detox all over again. I honestly can't think of what triggered it apart from how much study I have to do in the next two weeks. The irony is the study is not going away because I can't get focused, so I am in a chicken-and-the-egg situation. Is it having so much dopamine from how much fun I had on the trip? 

I might space out my entries over the next two weeks so I can somehow work out how to get these assignments out of the way. Only 2 left to go for the semester - one this week and one next week, but if my current struggles continue it is going to be two very long weeks.

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14 June 17

Game Free: 59 (17 Apr)

My mindset is definitely in a better place now. I did some reflecting (is this a form of meditation?) on flow states, what Cam talked to me about, a few podcasts (Deep Dive) and some YouTube videos. While I don't really feel none the wiser, I have stopped trying to "force" myself to do things and instead look for ways to get myself in "the zone" when I am feeling uncomfortable or are having issues. It has started with running again in the afternoons, even though my brain was trying to throw up excuses about my back and how I should rest. In the mornings I have changed my routine, now getting ready for work as soon as I wake up, then getting on with study afterwards instead of the other way around. I am not sure if it has made me more productive (a little bit perhaps), but it definitely has made me feel better and more prepared to tackle the day.

Another great by product of this is that I haven't had any urges to play games the last 48 hours, I have just been purely focused on what I need to get done. Which right now means study, getting a few processes moving at work and looking after my family. I think I need to put about 3-4 hours or so into my assignment to have it ready for submission by Friday, then that will leave one assignment left for the semester, due the following week.

I am considering giving up alcohol entirely as well. While it is a relaxant and social lubricant, I think it is detracting from what I am trying to achieve right now, and I generally tend to regret it afterwards anyway, whether that be something I have said after a few beers or the fact I lost 3-4 hours away from my goals. Might be a good experiment anyway to see if I can still attend a social event and stay relaxed without it, because that's how addiction starts anyway right?

I ordered a copy of the perfect notebook pdf which I should have in a few weeks. I am hoping it will help me structure these journal entries a bit more, back to when it was really forcing me to be productive before my big anxiety hit.

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Hey Giblets, 

59 days! Hell yeah man! That's super cool! I'm on my new Day 2, so I'm a little envious. But, I'm also excited to reach that space for myself as well. It sounds like there are a lot of great things going for you right now as you're settling into the new routine for yourself. This time around, I've decided to give up all of my vices gaming, t.v., porn, and alcohol. By removing all of those for myself, I'm finding that I've been feeling a little naked and slightly without purpose for the last 2.5 days. That being said, however, it's nice to see what I'm truly dealing with without any of those things influencing my life. It's been a pretty short time since I started up again, but I feel like I've got the best chance that I've ever had in my life to see this through to the end now. 

So! Long story short, I think it's a great idea to pull alcohol out of the equation as well. I hope it goes well for you!

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Hey Giblets, 

59 days! Hell yeah man! That's super cool! I'm on my new Day 2, so I'm a little envious. But, I'm also excited to reach that space for myself as well. It sounds like there are a lot of great things going for you right now as you're settling into the new routine for yourself. This time around, I've decided to give up all of my vices gaming, t.v., porn, and alcohol. By removing all of those for myself, I'm finding that I've been feeling a little naked and slightly without purpose for the last 2.5 days. That being said, however, it's nice to see what I'm truly dealing with without any of those things influencing my life. It's been a pretty short time since I started up again, but I feel like I've got the best chance that I've ever had in my life to see this through to the end now. 

So! Long story short, I think it's a great idea to pull alcohol out of the equation as well. I hope it goes well for you!

Glad to hear you are back on the path Moe! That's an awesome idea of throwing it all together to give up, but wow that would be tough. Talk about cold turkey on steroids! I'm inspired buddy, I look forward to following your journey. I have already given up TV a long time ago - it does not value add at all. I gave it up when I saw thats all that people talked about. It's like they were watching it for the sake of watching it. Same for facebook, I have abandoned facebook because it has enslaved people into checking facebook for the sake of checking facebook. I do still watch sports from time to time which I still enjoy a lot - but it is probably one game every one or two weeks. While that isn't productive, I do really enjoy it still, and its something that I look forward to doing with my boy like my Dad did with me many moons ago.

 

16 June 17

Game Free: 61 (17 Apr)

Today has been brutal. I woke up and instantly had a gut feeling like today was not going to be a good day. It started manifesting itself straight away. I tried to follow my adjusted morning routine to distract myself from it, that is getting ready for the day immediately after the alarm rather than start surfing the web or pottering around the house. But after about thirty minutes nothing had changed. So I saw this as an opportunity to try out my trusty new template that I talked to Cam about. And while I think it needs some tweaking, I think it really did work. At the top of the template I had in bold capital letters "Stop. Pause. Reflect." That helped a little straight away, and then I started breaking down what was going on yesterday and what was going on today, and then the steps where I could solve or attack these issues. I quickly was able to identify that I was just feeling quite stressed about trying to do so many things today on top of trying to submit my assignment, which was being compounded by not being able to spend as much time as I wanted to on it this week because of looking after my family. I have been trying to study late after they go to bed but I am usually too exhausted that I can't focus. I can do menial tasks such as chores and cleaning etc but I can't get the old brain working. Anyway I broke it down to steps which made me feel a lot better and gave me a course of action which I focused on. In the end the stress/anxiety did not go away all day, but I knew what was causing it which made me manage it a bit better. Now I just need to overcome how it basically turns me into a social retard when I am feeling like that and I would feel like I am having progress! I don't think I have achieved any progress in dealing with this anxiety over the last few years, but I think I am getting better at recognising it and trying to find tools to deal with it.

So in the end, I survived the day without trying to hide under a rock (which is usually what happens), and I have submitted my assignment. Only one assignment to go! Unfortunately this one is McMassive so it is going to take a lot of work, and I think I am maybe about a quarter through it. It is due next Friday so I really need to continue hitting it as hard as possible. I will need to find out some methods to stay awake at night so I can get more study done! I can't wait for that accomplished feeling that will come after hitting that submit button.... which only lasts a few seconds as I stress out about the result :D

A bit of a mumbled post that is all over the place, I guess thats an indication of my mental state right now. Time to hit the road and get in my flow state!

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All this studying makes me feel like I am back addicted to games again.... turning down invites from mates, forsaking chores, forgetting anything I don't write down, endless hours in front of the computer... makes me feel like garbage... you can do this man, only 3 days to go, keep it up... this is where I would turn to games to forget the stress, only to cause more stress by not having any time left to study! Argh... back to it...

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24 June 17

Game Free: 69 (17 Apr)

And.... I'm back! From outer space.... ok not really. But I hope at least one person how is humming that tune. Well, what an intense week that was, and as I wrote above, it felt like I was back in the throws if being addicted to gaming again. All I was doing was going to work, coming home, making dinner, then sitting in front of the computer until I was too tired to concentrate, going to bed, and then repeating all over again. I started having the feelings of regret and frustration exactly like when I was gaming too much; feeling like I wasn't living my life as I was just channelling everything into the computer (and not even a Raspberry Pi either!). Right now I am struggling to see the difference, but I guess it will all change if I manage to get a pass for the semester. I will honestly be surprised if I get a pass, that was the most intense subject I have ever taken, not along the lines of anything I have studied before or be interested in, and I am not sure if I displayed a thorough understanding of the concepts. If I don't pass it is not the end of the world, as I think I will restructure my degree to be less intensive so I can spend more time with my family.

So what did I learn over the last few weeks? I have learnt my flow states are at their strongest as soon as I wake up and about an hourish after a run. Subsequently I have been running every day, even if it was just a "hot shoe shuffle". At least I was getting out there and getting in the zone. Caught up with all the Gamequitters podcasts, listened to some linux ones (and learnt quite a lot), and some anxiety ones. I found that if I speed up the playback, I have to concentrate more on listening and retaining the information which distracts me from the burn/lactic acid, and next thing you know I am starting my cool down. 

I also learnt that I don't like sitting at my desk anymore. I found I was most productive when I was away from my desk; taking my trusty $180 3 year old laptop outside to the balcony, on my hammock, the dining room table or even the couch. I am curious about this one, especially when I became self aware of it. I'd like to dig a little deeper and find out why, my gut feeling is it has something to do with being at a desk for a lot of the day now with my current job, or maybe its because it is where I used to sit and play games and have the same feelings of regret or frustration. I think I might start taking notes on why I have chosen to sit somewhere else and what I enjoy about each of those areas and see if I can identify a pattern.

Finally, I found that my productivity goes 'through the roof' when I stop trying to multi task. I always took pride in my ability to multi task, but I found that if I shut everything down and focused on one topic only, I would get into a semi-flow state as I found it so easy. For example, when I started studying I put my phone somewhere else, either in the bedroom or in the kitchen, I closed all programs (web browsers, file managers, everything), turned off all extra computers (don't need 3 computers just to write in a document!) and full screened what I was working on, I would power through what I was doing. I also started trialling listening to alpha waves for focusing/productivity. Not sure if these are a placebo or not, but I think it helped (apart from making me melancholy a few times), so I need to do some more research into the theory of them.

Where to from here? Well I am immensely proud of myself for getting through last week. There were several times where I was so stressed out I couldn't sit still or focus or really string more than a few sentences together - this would have been my cue for gaming. But I powered on. It made me realise that gaming is going to be a vice for me for some time, no matter how much I think I am not addicted or how I think I am doing ok. I have been having crazy dreams as well, which have curiously been about games. Usually they are about whatever topic is causing me grief, but this time it was all about games - ones that looked like Age of Empires or Civilization, but I can't entirely be sure as I haven't played them for years. Hopefully that stops now. My focus now will be spending time with my family to make the last few weeks up to them, prior to starting it all over again next semester! C'mon only 3 semesters to go mate, you can do this. I do have 48 hours to still make any revisions to my paper, so I'm not completely out of the woods yet, but I'm taking today to go to the park and just do random stuff with my son, even if it is not productive. 

I do really want to start on my electronics projects as well. Wiring up Raspberry Pis to a few things and tinkering around with them. Try my hand at a bit of soldering! I also want to get back on here and see what everyone has been up to, I have missed that a little bit!

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24 June 17

Game Free: 69 (17 Apr)

And.... I'm back! From outer space.... ok not really. But I hope at least one person how is humming that tune. Well, what an intense week that was, and as I wrote above, it felt like I was back in the throws if being addicted to gaming again. All I was doing was going to work, coming home, making dinner, then sitting in front of the computer until I was too tired to concentrate, going to bed, and then repeating all over again. I started having the feelings of regret and frustration exactly like when I was gaming too much; feeling like I wasn't living my life as I was just channelling everything into the computer (and not even a Raspberry Pi either!). Right now I am struggling to see the difference, but I guess it will all change if I manage to get a pass for the semester. I will honestly be surprised if I get a pass, that was the most intense subject I have ever taken, not along the lines of anything I have studied before or be interested in, and I am not sure if I displayed a thorough understanding of the concepts. If I don't pass it is not the end of the world, as I think I will restructure my degree to be less intensive so I can spend more time with my family.

So what did I learn over the last few weeks? I have learnt my flow states are at their strongest as soon as I wake up and about an hourish after a run. Subsequently I have been running every day, even if it was just a "hot shoe shuffle". At least I was getting out there and getting in the zone. Caught up with all the Gamequitters podcasts, listened to some linux ones (and learnt quite a lot), and some anxiety ones. I found that if I speed up the playback, I have to concentrate more on listening and retaining the information which distracts me from the burn/lactic acid, and next thing you know I am starting my cool down. 

I also learnt that I don't like sitting at my desk anymore. I found I was most productive when I was away from my desk; taking my trusty $180 3 year old laptop outside to the balcony, on my hammock, the dining room table or even the couch. I am curious about this one, especially when I became self aware of it. I'd like to dig a little deeper and find out why, my gut feeling is it has something to do with being at a desk for a lot of the day now with my current job, or maybe its because it is where I used to sit and play games and have the same feelings of regret or frustration. I think I might start taking notes on why I have chosen to sit somewhere else and what I enjoy about each of those areas and see if I can identify a pattern.

Finally, I found that my productivity goes 'through the roof' when I stop trying to multi task. I always took pride in my ability to multi task, but I found that if I shut everything down and focused on one topic only, I would get into a semi-flow state as I found it so easy. For example, when I started studying I put my phone somewhere else, either in the bedroom or in the kitchen, I closed all programs (web browsers, file managers, everything), turned off all extra computers (don't need 3 computers just to write in a document!) and full screened what I was working on, I would power through what I was doing. I also started trialling listening to alpha waves for focusing/productivity. Not sure if these are a placebo or not, but I think it helped (apart from making me melancholy a few times), so I need to do some more research into the theory of them.

Where to from here? Well I am immensely proud of myself for getting through last week. There were several times where I was so stressed out I couldn't sit still or focus or really string more than a few sentences together - this would have been my cue for gaming. But I powered on. It made me realise that gaming is going to be a vice for me for some time, no matter how much I think I am not addicted or how I think I am doing ok. I have been having crazy dreams as well, which have curiously been about games. Usually they are about whatever topic is causing me grief, but this time it was all about games - ones that looked like Age of Empires or Civilization, but I can't entirely be sure as I haven't played them for years. Hopefully that stops now. My focus now will be spending time with my family to make the last few weeks up to them, prior to starting it all over again next semester! C'mon only 3 semesters to go mate, you can do this. I do have 48 hours to still make any revisions to my paper, so I'm not completely out of the woods yet, but I'm taking today to go to the park and just do random stuff with my son, even if it is not productive. 

I do really want to start on my electronics projects as well. Wiring up Raspberry Pis to a few things and tinkering around with them. Try my hand at a bit of soldering! I also want to get back on here and see what everyone has been up to, I have missed that a little bit!

69 days! Awesome!

Life as an engineer looks always tough... Work (or study), going home(or staying at a lab or company), making dinner, then sitting in front of the computer and desk... Sounds like you're doing great. I hope I could be more patient person like you... I'm going to live like that gradually.

Maybe changing environment affects our mind in some way... I don't know what exactly happens, but I should change the place where I am, when I can't focus more.

My brain is single core... so I can't do multiple things at once... Besides, it was surprising to hear that you have 3 computers! Does every one of them usually work really hard? Using a lot of CPU? Just wanted to know what happens to computers owned by people who related to computer science..

Keep it up then! Looking forward to reading your next story.

 

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Yo I for sure have to switch up my working posture during a long day. Morning/Afternoon in a chair, late afternoon/evening on the couch.

Do you find that it is duration based (after X amount of hours) or time based (when the 2pm struggle comes around) that you have to change your posture/position? Something I want to look more into, and just adds fuel to the fire to try and get a linux laptop running so I have more freedom.

 

 

69 days! Awesome!

Life as an engineer looks always tough... Work (or study), going home(or staying at a lab or company), making dinner, then sitting in front of the computer and desk... Sounds like you're doing great. I hope I could be more patient person like you... I'm going to live like that gradually.

Maybe changing environment affects our mind in some way... I don't know what exactly happens, but I should change the place where I am, when I can't focus more.

My brain is single core... so I can't do multiple things at once... Besides, it was surprising to hear that you have 3 computers! Does every one of them usually work really hard? Using a lot of CPU? Just wanted to know what happens to computers owned by people who related to computer science..

Keep it up then! Looking forward to reading your next story.

 

I am one of the most impatient people I know! I have just learned to use that to my advantage, pushing myself in certain areas etc. I think if you are impatient or emotional over things you just need to learn how to harness it and use it to your advantage. Turn a weakness into a strength. Reading about all the big success stories in the world shows that they never shied away from their weaknesses, they attacked them head on.

I used to have 3 computers working really hard all the time! I was proud of it. These days I don't need that kind of power, so I only have 1 desktop and 2 Raspberry Pis. The main desktop I do the majority of my work or tasks, and use the Pis to display webpages or PDFs, play media or to tinker with if I am a bit restless. I find it very useful for studying since I don't have any physical textbooks so I don't need to switch between programs, but I have to be careful that I don't allow myself to be distracted by extra screens (eg having one playing a movie or something). Pis are really good for doing very simple tasks like that, draw little power, and are cheap.

 

25 June 17

Game Free: 70 (17 Apr)

It's been a very hectic day, even after the assignment being submitted! I did have until tonight to go back and work on it again but I don't think I will. I'm not in the right mind space anymore. I am proud that I have not been tempted to play games once since I submitted the assignment, which is a big achievement for me. Usually that is the first thing that happens after a test or exam or assignment, I reward myself with too much gaming. I don't think I have had the time to think about it anyway really since it is still just me and my son at home for a few more days. He has been keeping me really busy! But it has been a lot of fun. I even started up my hobbies again which was an amazing feeling, last night I soldered my first circuit kit thing, a siren with flashing LED lights. It was designed for kids I think but I still enjoyed it regardless and let me work on my soldering skills. Tonight I am turning a cardboard box into a car that I can push around the house. Having kids is a great excuse to be a kid yourself without feeling guilty :D All of these hobbies are going to be shortlived I think until the next semester starts, but it is still a blast nonetheless.

Haven't done any exercise for three days, but I am back into it tomorrow. Planning to run for 15km if I can handle it. I'll need to stock up on podcasts as it will take me about two hours; I have been 'pruning' a lot of podcasts from my queue, it has been hard to keep up when I have about 50 shows in the list. I have been removing all the comedies and topics that I am not longer interested in, and just keeping current affairs or motivational/productivity ones. And the occasional tech show. I am about to pass 900 hours listened this year; I can't even remember the last time I listened to music on any of my devices.

Can't believe I am up to 70 days already. Feels like yesterday I had my relapse over Easter. Only 20 more days to go to finish the detox! Of course that is just the beginning. Someone called me Tony Robbins yesterday as I seem to be throwing out a lot of motivational one liners lately; I guess that is better than negativity!

Bought a diary/organiser PDF to help structure my day, so that might influence my posts going forward. I look forward to it. Try anything once!

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No physical text book? Wow that's really cool! It's very interesting to hear that your PCs were also working really hard. It's kinda funny to imagine that they are also in 90 days of detox.

And it sounds like you're almost ok to leave this forum... You're really doing great. I can read confidence from your journal. 70 days! Almost end of the journey!

It was very interesting to hear your soldering hobby and the story with your son. "Having kids is a great excuse to be a kid yourself without feeling guilty" lol

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No physical text book? Wow that's really cool! It's very interesting to hear that your PCs were also working really hard. It's kinda funny to imagine that they are also in 90 days of detox.

And it sounds like you're almost ok to leave this forum... You're really doing great. I can read confidence from your journal. 70 days! Almost end of the journey!

It was very interesting to hear your soldering hobby and the story with your son. "Having kids is a great excuse to be a kid yourself without feeling guilty" lol

No physical textbooks seem to be the norm these days, or at least have been for my degree. It's a great idea, it means I don't have to go hunting through libraries or (more commonly) I have forgotten to purchase the book before the semester so fall a few weeks behind while I wait for it to get posted to me. The only gripe I have is that generally the programs you use to access the textbooks are Windows-only, and also have only 2-3 devices you can use it on. This makes it difficult to use with my desk setup! First world problems though I guess.

 

26 June 17

Game Free: 71 (17 Apr)

Weird day really, productive but not productive. Kicked off the day with a great chat with Cam, and had a few plans of what I wanted to achieve today - and haven't achieved any of them, apart from a 15km run. I don't feel like I have been lazy and not done anything though, I sorted a lot of issues at work and did a few chores around the house, but I guess because they weren't targets or goals that I had set out to achieve during the day, then I don't feel productive. I've decided today to sell my XBox One. To be honest I had completely forgotten that I had it! I only noticed yesterday while I was sitting on the ground in front of our cabinet playing with my son and I saw it through the glass door xD I figured that is a good enough excuse as any to get rid of it! 

I'm also (finally) coming from a Raspberry Pi - I have decided to pull the trigger on switching my final machine over to a Raspberry Pi, as a somewhat new hobby. I got the inspiration from one of the editors from MagPi who was challenged to use a Pi for work for a whole week, and seemed to manage it. I've learnt a lot by tinkering with these little gadgets so I think it will be fun trying to push them to their limits. If anyone has any experience in Linux or ARM devices, let me know!

Ultimately I don't have much to talk about today. I printed out the diary/organiser but it took all day (kept forgetting to load paper etc) so haven't had a chance to read it in detail yet. Tomorrow is going to be awesome, I have a day off work just to spend with my son before my wife returns from her trip. I know I wont have a chance to play or think about games because the little fella won't let me! 

Hoping to see Moe back on the forums soon too.... Moe where you at buddy?

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Ha ha ha! I'm here, we're good. I'm not in the weeds or anything. Did I post yesterday? Can't remember.

Today was my first day back in my university classes in like 6 weeks. So I spent most of my day just wrangling that. What kind of degree are you going for? Information Systems is what I'm guessing since you've been active on your Pis lately. Congratulations on kicking ass on a mega project. Sometimes I think us tech folk get brutalized by professors beyond reasonable measure, but somehow we keep breathing. Lol

I'm about 5 quarters away from my bachelor's in Technology Management. It's been a long time coming, but I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. 

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Man i love linux but currently i use Windows because of work. I have som experience with Linux Mint(favourite), Puppy Linux, Lubuntu and Xubuntu. I will buy Raspberry Pi in the future. 

The whole "windows on linux" and "linux on windows" environments/containers should be able to blur that boundary. I haven't paid much attention to the news releases as I am not a developer so don't have much use for it, but it may be something that you could utilise. I have yet to try Linux Mint - it has been on my to do list for a while ever since they released the Debian version that was rolling - I like the appeal of rolling distributions rather than releases every six months that you need to keep reinstalling. Lubuntu is my platform of choice as I am a fan of LXDE, and I have seen Puppy linux but never tried it either, I think they have a Pi version so I should give it a go.

 

27 June 17

Game Free: 72 (17 Apr)

Very challenging day today - I slipped up with controlling my emotional triggers and got angry a few people which I immediately regret. The triggers were either because they were contacting me on my day off or because I didn't have control of the situation - not sure which. Something that no doubt I will reflect on more tomorrow while I am at work and see them all again. I am finding that my biggest challenge going forward is to stop these "snap" responses to people, that when I can feel myself getting agitated/anxious that I need to stop and pause before saying/doing something I regret later. This is something that I need to work on not just for my professional life, but also personal, as I find myself getting annoyed at things such as my son not following instructions and snapping at him or others, where really he is just learning his boundaries.

Not much else really to report on for today. Didn't achieve as much as I wanted but I am really worn out, looking forward to my wife being back tomorrow so I can get some rest! Have had no desire to play games again today, these methods of holding myself accountable are very effective because thats what I think about now instead, that I don't want to lapse and let people down. It is an example of what I heard recently of telling family/friends that you want to achieve or do something before you start, because then the thought of them seeing you not achieve it helps hold you accountable. Or something like that, can't think clearly because I need sleep.

Enjoyed making a video today on what I have been working on the last few weeks! I thought I would be anxious and struggle through it, mixing up my words like I usually do in front of groups, but I found it really easy and therapeutic. I look forward to making more in the future, maybe it could be a way to document weekly goals or something. Need to look at the diary tomorrow. It's going to be another busy day.

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28 June 17

Game Free: 73 (17 Apr)

Today was a bit crap. I woke up in the morning feeling like it was going to be a crap day, and last time I felt that I used my anxiety template to break down the problem for a way ahead. I didn't do it this time though, I was pretty sure I knew why and I was not feeling as bad as last time. It was due to some personnel issues at work that were getting quite political that I really didn't want to get involved in. But I sucked it up and got on with the day. It threw my flow off in the morning but at least the situation was resolved, even if I snapped and got angry at someone - I recognised the trigger but didn't do anything about it to check it. I spent the rest of the day being disappointed with my reactions, but I have since written an email to apologise to the person, I will send it to them tomorrow. That should make me feel more at ease.

Also didn't run today either, first day in a while that I haven't done that. I woke up this morning feeling a bit flu-ish (raspy throat and more tired than usual) so I thought I would skip the run, take some medication and rest up. I guess all of those 3 things combined is why it was such a bad day. Well ok bad is too strong a word - I would say a mediocre day.

Got home and messed around with my desk setup now that my wife is home and can look after my son. They spent the afternoon playing so I managed to clear up my desk - taped up some cords and threw out a few things to make it a lot cleaner. Also moved my RPi that I want to use as my computer now to the big screen. I almost totally disconnected my last power-hogging machine until I realised I haven't backed up the data for 14 months... whoops. So I have started that tonight, with the aim that in a couple of days I will put that in storage as well.

Hoping to get back on track tomorrow and have a good day. It should be relatively quiet at work which will allow that to happen. Absolutely no urges for gaming today at all, quite happy with that, the detox must be starting to have a more conspicuous impact on my brain now.

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