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Captain's Log - JSmith


JSmith
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Hey Jsmith, it is very nice to see how you are progressing!

As for the stress you mentioned, maybe you could try some meditation or breathing exercises when it hits you.

If you ever come to Japan, drop me a line, I can show you around!

Thanks for the advice!

And for the offer haha, probably won't be heading over there for a while (plane ticket prices Dx), but I appreciate it.

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.8.2016 | Day 37

Seven whole days since I started this, it felt like a blink. Maybe I'll do a general reflection or something every 10 days. Or maybe at 45 days, then every 15. Yeah that sounds better.

Decent day today. Woke up pretty late on account of sleep debt. Went outside, got some food, and hit the lab again. I did TWO tutorials, one on part assembly and the other on 2D drawings. Unfortunately I can't shrink the images so sorry in advance for the scrolling haha.

tutor1_final.thumb.JPG.63417584353e8dd9ctutor2_final.thumb.JPG.5c175c918de9cb931 

The first is a part I made yesterday (I don't know what these DO, but it was in the tutorial so...eh XD) and today I made the second piece. I learned how to color (oooh so pretty) and sketch/cut on a 2D plane to form the extrusion you see there, which will fit inside the first piece.

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You can see the connection in dotted lines. So perfect! Next was the projection onto 2D sketches.

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It told me to print them, so I did! Looks super cool. This is where the main tutorials end, but I found all sorts of cool walkthrough projects on Youtube and other places. I'll probably just pick and choose one to focus on as a sort of project, or find more advanced tutorials to go through. This is definitely a long term sort of "hobby", lots and lots and lots to learn. Would love to one day even start building my own parts, if I knew more about parts in general haha. I was saddened to learn I could not access the "Realview" modeling options for seeing visual detail of the specified part material or environment reflections. This is because the graphics cards in the computers, while they make the program run well enough, aren't officially supported by Solidworks. Oh well.

I came THIS close to not going to karate today. I walked in the gym super early, as usual, to setup so I could have extra time to stretch. Kinda lazed around on a bench listening to music, and started to think maybe nobody was going to show up again like yesterday. Part of me just wanted to leave and go eat at the dining hall, and it got really bad about 15 minutes before class was scheduled to start. Oh, it's just one day. You could be eating mac' n cheese and ice cream right now. Why are you doing this anyway? Nobody else is here, why are you here? 

Then literally 9 people showed up out of nowhere. Thank goodness. Class was interesting, and I'm definitely getting better at my kata. I hate to admit it, but something about other people being around or watching pushes me to work harder. Probably not the best source of motivation, but better than not working out at all.

Consecutive karate practices attended without skipping: 5  

Bigger text because it was almost 0. Woop. Five X's on the attendance sheet. I think my record is about 12 or so. If I train every day this month like I wanted to, I'll break that.

Space Shuttle pic is looking good. You'll see a fleet of shuttles if I spam the forums. xD

Was too tired last night to post those phone pics so I'll post them now.

IMG_0102.thumb.JPG.8edfe4906b2f7d2f55420IMG_0105.thumb.JPG.e1c7a45e3df53828850f6

The light rays, ambient occlusion and cloud effects are spectacularly displayed here. Whoever made this engine did a great job.

I had a really crazy dream last night. I was doing some random stuff with my family on campus, particularly my father. I think we were getting ready for some sort of formal event or something. At some point I jumped up to the windowsill on the second floor of a building near to where I live, or was I following someone? I looked into the window and I see this girl. She looks kind of like a girl I made friends with from roleplaying (no, not the other girl....it had been months since we stopped talking when I met this person). I never saw her in real life, but her image sort of matched a picture she sent me a while ago. In the dream she is in the room, holding a baby. She looks at the baby, then back at me and says, "This is why I can't be with you..." and as I'm looking back at her, surprised, she adds, "But you have a girl, she's the one who brought me to you." I completely broke down and started to cry. I think they were tears of shock more than happiness or sadness. It was as if the moment she said it, I knew it was true, that there was someone out there who was mine. I've recently had feelings that there's nobody out here for me, at least in the area, and trouble believing in such a possibility. So to "experience" such a turnaround feeling, in a freaking dream nonetheless, was...well, shocking haha. I can still feel it, a little.

(OH MY GOD I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND???? I DIDNT EVEN KNOW....XD)

sobbing_meme_lel.thumb.jpg.d985aa762ed27

I think I want to take things easy tomorrow. Plus I haven't really done anything social in a while, so I'm gonna try.

Goals for Tomorrow:

1. Solidworks lab, 2 pomodoros.

2. Talk to a stranger (sorry mom). Not just a few words, a conversation. I'll probably be looking for a hot chick first but anyone will do.

That's it! Go crazy, me.

Things I'm thankful for:

1. People showing up to karate. Plus I got another ride back to my room. Yay for not walking in the dark.

2. Another day off work tomorrow. I needed this.

3. Squirrels. They're so fun to watch.

IMG_0104.thumb.JPG.166cbe47f586b41d6af07   

 

 

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.9.2016 | Day 38

Wow, what an interesting day. Completed all the goals for today. Yes even including the talking to a stranger part, well sort of. I'll get to that later.

Talked to my mom over the phone after lunch, letting her know everything that's been going on with me recently. She said it seemed like things were going well for me, and that I sounded happy. I told her I was figuring things out haha. Not quite "happy". I'm still kind of in a weird mellow state, no highs or lows. I wonder if I'll ever really feel excited the way I did while playing video games. Time will tell I suppose; still have a ways to go on the detox.

Hit the lab again, as planned. Messed around with a short mouse quick-select tutorial and got started with a more in-depth lesson on fillets (scroll up if you don't know what that means haha).

knob_relations_sketch.thumb.JPG.bc3f1c29 

This set of tutorials seem a little less hand holding-ish. I struggled for a bit with getting started on this turning knob sort of mechanism here, mainly because I had never messed with the arc or midpoint draw tools, or set up relations between different drawings, and the tutorial kinda told me to just "do it". I had to put a coincident relation between the freely drawn knob on the left and the arc on the right, so they stick together like you see in the screenshot. This was the first parallel I saw with FreeCAD, since I remember doing something similar over there.

Walked around campus after that, just trying to find a friendly soul to talk to. It was a beautiful day outside, hot too, which I like. I'd taking sweating over freezing any day. I really struggled mustering up the courage to speak out. Everybody just seemed so...busy. Either glued to their phones, or hanging out with others already, or walking like they are in a rush to get somewhere. Or some who looked like they just didn't want to be bothered. Saw one girl who looked so concentrated in the book she was reading. I left her alone. I know I would be a little annoyed if someone interrupted me while I was reading...maybe unless it was a cute girl. Funny how that works. After some time walking around the downtown area I just decided to head back to campus, kinda giving up. Then a thought came to me.

I wonder if that girl from the campus store is working there today?

I immediately headed over to check.

And she was.

I might have felt something in my chest upon seeing her. She wasn't behind a cash register this time. Instead she was just walking around slowly near some of the clothing, like one of those store attendants whose sole job it is to ask customers if they need help with something. Oh I needed help alright. Help completing this last goal.

Decent conversation. Turns out she's going to be a freshman in college for the coming semester...at a different school (REKT). She was attending the nearby high school and just working on campus. Makes perfect sense actually. I completely had no idea what to say next, so I kinda trotted away slowly and she resumed working. I felt unsatisfied, like I should have said more, but I couldn't think of anything. And then some questions came into my head, related to what she said! So I went right back and we talked a little more. It was pretty cool. I just asked her if a bunch of rumors I had heard about her school were true haha. Apparently the university wants to move the school elsewhere and turn the space into a parking lot...she wasn't happy about that. I just wished her good luck with things and went on my way. I regret nothing.

Was she really a stranger though? I mean I have seen her before a few times...ahh I'll let that one slide. We definitely weren't friends or anything.

Goals for Tomorrow:

1. Solidworks lab, 2 pomodoros.

2. The Slight Edge, 1 pomodoro. Physics can wait.

3. Novel work, 1 pomodoro.

4. Finish two To-Do List tasks.

5. Don't fall asleep/take a nap. I've decided to start getting my body ready for classes so it's up at 6:30am, bed at 10:30pm, every day starting tomorrow morning.

5. Karate time.

Things I'm grateful for:

1. Having this day to relax. Been a chill two days off.

2. Seeing that girl's smile again. She's beautiful. I just realized after typing that paragraph I might not see her again. Her last day is the 15th, or was it the 18th? Oh well.

3. Getting to talk to my mom. It's been a while since we last spoke. I definitely want to reach out sometime after the semester starts, let her know how things are going.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm interacting less on the site than others. Just doing this journal takes so much time. Sometimes I'm so worried about whether or not others will read this or what they might think that I forget this is mostly a tool for me. And yet it feels as if I can't really be too personal with myself, since this is online. I don't know. 

What exactly is the purpose of this again, @Cam Adair? I'm just feeling a little strange at the moment. Thanks.

Guh, I don't know how to tag people.

 

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I'm sorry if it seems like I'm interacting less on the site than others. Just doing this journal takes so much time. Sometimes I'm so worried about whether or not others will read this or what they might think that I forget this is mostly a tool for me. And yet it feels as if I can't really be too personal with myself, since this is online. I don't know. 

What exactly is the purpose of this again, @Cam Adair? I'm just feeling a little strange at the moment. Thanks.

The key is just to do what you can. Updating your own journal is the most important. More people are lurking and reading your page than you realize. Your journal is for you to reflect and share with yourself - don't worry about what others are going to think or any of that. The truth is, most people will be blown away at how inspiring you are for sharing your journey. :)

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I'm sorry if it seems like I'm interacting less on the site than others. Just doing this journal takes so much time. Sometimes I'm so worried about whether or not others will read this or what they might think that I forget this is mostly a tool for me. And yet it feels as if I can't really be too personal with myself, since this is online. I don't know. 

What exactly is the purpose of this again, @Cam Adair? I'm just feeling a little strange at the moment. Thanks.

The key is just to do what you can. Updating your own journal is the most important. More people are lurking and reading your page than you realize. Your journal is for you to reflect and share with yourself - don't worry about what others are going to think or any of that. The truth is, most people will be blown away at how inspiring you are for sharing your journey. :)

Thank you. I'll try to keep that in mind.

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.10.2016 | Day 39

Today was...a sine wave I think. Was super tired when the alarm went off at 6:30am, especially since I didn't actually get all that much sleep the night before. I was too awake from staying up the night before that and sleeping in. I'm fixing that now. Bed at 10:30pm, up at 6:30 again tomorrow. Routine, routine, routine.

At least I got up though. Despite my lingering grogginess, I actually got a FANTASTIC amount of work done in the morning before my 1pm work shift. All pomodoros and tasks done, plus an extra pomodoro reading The Slight Edge, because the book is AMAZING. I've only read about the first 50 pages or so, and it's funny because I feel like some of the messages coming across are things I've known for most of my life. But the way Jeff explains and brings it all together and provides examples and analogies is simply great. Definitely going to finish this thing. I'm going to start tallying up the minutes I've spent on various goal activities (since day 30), which I think will be another positive motivator for me to keep going. I'll be able to see the numbers adding up over time. I'll give it a shot at least.

Work was boring as hell. But on a couple occasions I was having trouble staying focused. My mind kept revisiting painful events in the past, revolving around my family. There are certain experiences I went through as a child that, while not being anything too serious, still bother me to this day. I keep trying to tell myself it's all in the past, but it's really hard, especially when I'm so used to rolling back the tape my brain does it almost automatically. There's one specific thing I feel like I'm going to actually have to confront before I feel better, which I can't say is something I want to do. Why can't I just let it all go?

Karate was freaking INTENSE today. I don't think I've ever sweat as much as I did during that class (my gi is actually soaked, gross right? DX). I was the only green belt today; it was me, two brown belts, and then a bunch of 2nd Dan or higher members. They definitely turned things up. I even received 1 on 1 training for some of my katas, which actually makes the training even harder because they nitpick at everything you do wrong haha. Definitely tough, but I learned a lot and overall I'm glad I went.

Goals for Tomorrow:

1. Up at 6:30.

2. Important To-Do List task, knock it out.

3. Solidwerks lab, 2 pomodoros

4. The Slight Edge, 2 pomodoros

5. Novel work, 2 pomodoros. I'm trying to fill all the sci-fi plot holes and technology gaps. This is really frickin' hard.

6. A Brief History of Time, 1 pomodoro. I'll squeeze one in.

What a collection of activities! This is unprecedented for me haha. It's so perfect though; it covers virtually all my interests. I'm just not sure I'll be able to maintain something like this on a daily basis, nevermind once the semester hits. But that's not important for now. I just need to get THESE goals done tomorrow. I can do it.

Counters: (Everything since Day 30, focused pomodoro minutes only) - considering renaming EXP Table or Captain's Stats next entry

Estimated days left to live: 23,123

Minutes spent Reading: 120

Minutes spent working on novel: 120

Minutes spent on Solidworks: 240

Consecutive karate practices attended without skipping: 6. I'll be Bruce Lee in no time.

Man, for nine days, these minutes seem so loooooooow. But it's a start! The life timer helps keep me focused only on what truly matters, since my time (and everyone else's) is limited of course. Hmm, maybe I should count in pomodoros instead. We'll see. (Ironically, I don't like tomatoes)

Things I'm grateful for:

1. Some valuable individual karate training

2. Hitching another ride from a karate friend. I try my best to express gratitude towards them.

3. A very delicious corn muffin.

 

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.11.2016 | Day 40

Day 40. Not too shabby. Gonna keep this one short; just finished a movie and I should technically be sleeping.

Check check check on all the gooooaaaaalsssssssssssssss!

Yep that's the important part haha.

Goals for Tomorrow:

1. Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

2. Novel Work, 2 pomodoros

3. The Slight Edge, 1 pomodoro

4. A Brief History of Time, 1 pomodoro

5. Up at 6:30

6. Train!

7. 750 word freewriting exercise, try it out!

Captain's Stats:

Estimated days left to live: 23,122

Reading Minutes: 180

Solidworks Minutes: 280

Novel Minutes: 160

Things I'm Grateful For:

1. Easy day at work today. As in I hardly did any work at all....will have to explain later haha.

2. Steamed Broccoli. I'll eat that, not the dry kind.

3. This laptop. Productivity machine!

Just gotta keep at it! I can do this.

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.12.2016 | Day 41

I might have made a slight mistake.

I just ordered too many books.

By too many I mean three. But that's not too too bad, although I've learned from the past that buying multiple books at the same time is not really a good idea, because it prevents me from really focusing on one at a time. Oh well, at least I'll have plenty of reading material for the upcoming semester, if I don't wolf them down quickly that is. I've done that before.

But probably not with these. I bought a physical copy of The Slight Edge, just because I'd rather have it in my hands, instead of on a screen. I was on page 117 in the pdf version so I have a good amount still to digest. I also got Think and Grow Rich and a book I've been meaning to read for a while now, Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan. I'm not sure if that last one is a science or personal development book haha. My plan was to read from one book of both types every day, so for example today I read The Slight Edge and A Brief History of Time. I know this stuff takes a while to fully understand, so despite me being super excited to read all of them, perhaps I should try to spread them out. Or I can wolf them down and reread in the future haha. Decisions, decisions. (Also considering purchasing a textbook on orbital mechanics...)

Anyways, goals goals blah blah blah, done! That 750 word freewriting exercise was...wow. It was something else. To be able to just write about anything without any sort of filter, was pretty great honestly. It felt theraputic, and a little odd. I'll definitely be giving it another shot tomorrow. Might be a nice complement to what I'm doing here.

Made a microphone holder in Solidworks:

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Created an oblong cut on the surface of the outside, mirrored it around an axis, patterned it vertically, then patterned that result circularly around the housing.

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And here's the candlestick I made...two days ago???? O.o

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I thought I got stung by a bee for the first time today while working DX...but there's no bump or stinger or anything, and I found this wood chip thing in my sock where the pain was coming from, which looked like it had some blood on it, so I might have just stabbed myself or something. Did find a bee on my shoe though at the time, which I promptly killed. Maybe a coincidence? Find it kinda hard to believe a bee would get inside the pantleg and sting through my sock...if it did then yay I'm not allergic to bees! 

Was humid as hell while doing karate. I might have been operating at 50% effectiveness. It was pretty bad. But at least I went.

I think I'll just do what I did today...tomorrow. Got a lot done and it didn't take that long, plus I have the exact same work shift. Gotta make sure I pick up those books though! No karate tomorrow so I think I'll reward myself with a pizza and movie once everything's done.

Goals for Tomorrow:

1. 750 words freewriting

2. Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

3. Novel Work, 2 pomodoros

4. The Slight Edge, 1 pomodoro

5. A Brief History of Time, 1 pomodoro

6. Pickup ordered books.

MOST IMPORTANT TASK: Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

Captain's Stats:

Estimated Days Left to Live: 23,121

Reading Minutes: 220

Solidworks Minutes: 320

Novel Minutes: 200

These are going to be slight underestimates, since sometimes I read/work extra without timing. Which is fine haha.

Consecutive karate practices attended without skipping: 7.

Things I'm grateful for:

1. Amazon

2. Another ride from a karate friend. These people are too nice.

3. Not feeling any strong gaming urges.

This is probably a good point to just stay consistent with. I'm doing a little bit of everything but it's not overwhelming. It's pretty simple actually. Once the semester begins though I'll probably have to just do 1 pomodoro per activity; that's the only change I'm anticipating. And maybe getting up a little earlier. Will depend on how efficiently I can study.

Don't think about it, brain. Just do it.  

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.13.2016 | Day 42

The engineering computer lab was closed today. What the hell man??????????

It was open last weekend. Maybe it was a mistake. I don't like doing Solidworks on vpc, it's soooooooo slow. Ugh. Oh well. Did it anyways.

Going to stick with the 750 word exercise for now. Seems pretty nice.

Picked up all my books today from the Amazon store. The copy of The Slight Edge I recieved is actually a newer edition than the pdf file I had! It's already different from the first page. Looking forward to seeing all the improvements.

Still need to work on my sleep a little bit. Was super super tired this morning, as I got into bed a half hour late the night before. Might try hitting the sack a little early tonight.

Not really too much else went on today, other than completing my goals. I think I'm officially in grind mode.

Goals for Tomorrow:

1. 750 words freewriting

2. Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

3. Novel Work, 2 pomodoros

4. The Slight Edge, 1 pomodoro

5. A Brief History of Time, 1 pomodoro

6. Karate training.

MOST IMPORTANT TASK: Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

Captain's Stats:

Estimated Days Left to Live: 23,120 - This thing is starting to scare me a little. I actually notice it decreasing, like I'm really running out of time. Better make the most of it!

Reading Minutes: 260

Solidworks Minutes: 360

Novel Minutes: 240

Things I'm grateful for:

1. My books coming in nice and early today.

2. Free pizza.

3. The Information Age. Isn't knowledge great?

 

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.14.2016 | Day 43

Another day, another dollar.

Didn't have the best start. I didn't follow my intention last night to go to bed early, and I paid for it. Was beyond tired this morning, so I just gave up and kept sleeping. :(

The result? Well, I lost time. Usually I get all my goals done in the morning before my work shifts, but today I was working on them right up until karate. Was a little stressful, since I wasn't sure if I would have any free time at the end of the day. Luckily I had a little bit. It just ended haha. A couple youtube videos after a long day of work is pretty relaxing (no they weren't about games). 

Spent my entire novel writing period neck deep in Wikipedia pages doing research...it's like going down a rabbit hole. You gotta go down the rabbit hole so your readers don't fall into the plot holes. It's exhausting. I had a really cool idea that now might not make any sense because science haha. Oh well, I'll figure it out. Eventually...

Work is so goddamn annoying now. I was feeling moments of pure irritability while doing my checkouts. I just wanna read The Slight Edge, why are you bothering me????? Oh yeah, it's my job. I try to think of all the benefits of working up until classes, but it's difficult. With the semester coming up it feels more like a thorn in my side than anything else. Just wanna pluck it out and get on with things. At least I'm moving into my fall assignment this week. I feel like jobs in general end up pretty suckish if they're just means to an end, as opposed to being ends themselves. I only took it to avoid having to go home, but now that the summer's ending, all the care is gone.

Otherwise just another ordinary day doing goals and stuff. Which apparently is perfect.

Goals for Tomorrow:

1. 750 words freewriting

2. Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

3. Novel Work, 2 pomodoros

4. The Slight Edge, 1 pomodoro

5. A Brief History of Time, 1 pomodoro

6. More karate training.

MOST IMPORTANT TASK: Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

Captain's Stats:

Estimated Days Left to Live: 23,119

Reading Minutes: 300

Solidworks Minutes: 400

Novel Minutes: 280

Consecutive karate practices attended without skipping: 8

Things I'm grateful for:

1. Fall assignment move in this Friday. No more hikes just to get anywhere!

2. Quick work day. All the guests checked out early, leaving me just enough time to complete my goals for the day.

3. Having the day off tomorrow. Gonna get my goals done early, then maybe watch a couple movies before karate. xD

4. Bonus! Finally hit positive balance on my budget tracker. Feels good to have extra again.

 

 

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.4.2016 | Day 33

The Masterclass was...interesting. The meditation session was relaxing, but I can't say I'm totally on board with energy field vibrations or archangels or chakras...or levitating (literally the guide said she saw someone levitate during a meditation session, I kinda lost interest after that).

wtf? :D 

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.4.2016 | Day 33

The Masterclass was...interesting. The meditation session was relaxing, but I can't say I'm totally on board with energy field vibrations or archangels or chakras...or levitating (literally the guide said she saw someone levitate during a meditation session, I kinda lost interest after that).

wtf? :D 

Yeah idk haha.

750 words?

Pomodoros?!

Dude, are you the second Mad Pharmacist? :D

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

More like wannabe space captain xD

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.15.2016 | Day 44

Good day in general. Was still tired as hell waking up in the morning, which was pretty frustrating to be honest. It might be because of how long it takes me to fall asleep. Just because I am in bed for 8 hours doesn't mean I'm sleeping for 8 hours. Going to try turning off all the digital screens a half hour before bed, will read instead. I've got really good reading content anyways, so it won't be difficult to do. I probably read The Slight Edge for at least another additional 30 minutes which I won't add to my counter, as well as some of Demon Haunted World, which is surprisingly dense but also very interesting. Will definitely be reading that one at a slower pace. Was happy to have the day off of work, and glad to get back into the engineering lab for solidworks practice, as opposed to the crummy vpc.

Stephen Hawking completely LOST me on wormholes and time travel...and I added another four or five wiki articles to read through for my novel work (more like research now), but it's progress made.

Dammit. Just realized I forgot to take my bupropion today. How did I miss my phone's notification? There should be a little dot next to the reminder app, but it's not there. This could be bad, especially given how long it takes for this stuff to kick in. Not to mention the headaches. Oh well, doesn't matter now.

LOOK AT THESE COOL SPACE SHUTTLE PICS I JUST FOUND TODAY (solidworks can wait, these are beautiful)

shuttle_01_2560x1600.thumb.jpg.9a834f6d8

space-shuttle-atlantis-flip-ocean.thumb.

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STS-132_Atlantis_at_ISS_1.thumb.jpg.d24d

Okay I'm done spamming. 

(YES, IT'S REAL...or at least it used to be :()

Goals for Tomorrow:

1. 750 words freewriting

2. Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

3. Novel Work, 2 pomodoros

4. The Slight Edge, 1 pomodoro

5. A Brief History of Time, 1 pomodoro

MOST IMPORTANT TASK: Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

Captain's Stats:

Estimated Days Left to Live: 23,118

Reading Minutes: 340+

Solidworks Minutes: 440

Novel Minutes: 320

Consecutive karate practices attended without skipping: 9

Things I'm grateful for:

1. Getting to relax tomorrow after two nights of training.

2. Staying consistent with my goals. This is the key to my success.

3. Getting to move on Saturday instead of Friday, so no work conflicts.

 

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.16.2016 | Day 45

45 days.

Forty-five.

I don't even know what to say. This has been such an interesting, new, and weird experience. I would like to do a separate reflection post now that I'm halfway through the detox, but unfortunately I started this post a little too late. So, in the interest of preserving my sleep, I will make said post tomorrow morning. For now I'll just keep it brief.

Today was a little whacky. Woke up on time, had a good breakfast, hit the lab as usual. But I managed to distract myself for a long period of time once I moved to the library to start my reading/writing pomodoros. It was watching Youtube videos :(...but it wasn't game related at least. I used to play music when I was much younger; I was in an orchestra for most of middle school and played in a band my first year of high school before the program was discontinued. Felt the urge to look up some old professional drumming videos I haven't seen in a while, and spent more time watching those than I had liked. As a result, I wasn't able to finish all my goals until around 8:30pm. It's amazing how drastically even an hour of distraction can delay your routine.

Exhaustion probably played a big part in it. I was so tired this morning I actually had to take a break between my Solidworks pomodoros because it felt like I was slowly falling asleep. I don't get it. I spent a half hour reading before bed, went to sleep on time. And I'm still tired as hell in the mornings. Do I need more than 8 hours of sleep? That's ridiculous, I'm going to lose time. Why can't we just run on batteries or something???? 

That's it. I'm going to bed right after this post. So I need to wrap this up. The point is I certainly make better decisions and get more done when I'm fully rested. I can't remember the last time I was fully rested. It might have been after that morning I slept in. No more sleeping in! I need to fix this.

Goals for Tomorrow:

1. 750 words freewriting

2. Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

3. Novel Work, 2 pomodoros

4. The Slight Edge, 1 pomodoro

5. A Brief History of Time, 1 pomodoro

6. Complete at least two To-Do List tasks

7. Karate time

8. Reflection post

MOST IMPORTANT TASK: Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

This list is so long...

Captain's Stats:

Estimated Days Left to Live: 23,117

Reading Minutes: 380+

Solidworks Minutes: 480

Novel Minutes: 360

Things I'm grateful for:

1. Day off work tomorrow. Will put it to good use.

2. Music to help me with those stuffing keys in envelopes shifts...

3. Moving into my fall assignment in four days!

Solidworks pictures coming tomorrow, I promise! Just gotta download them from the engineering servers, I've been lazy about that recently. Goodnight!

 

Edited by JSmith
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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.17.2016 | Midpoint Reflection

So it's been 45 days now since I've stopped playing videogames completely. How do I feel?

It's kind of hard to tell in some ways, and easy to tell in others. I'm trying to think right now about what I was like right before I stopped. It hasn't been anything crazy drastic. I just remember not really doing much from day to day, just sitting around, playing games on my phone while at work or by myself. Playing games or watching videos about games. I remember feeling really exhausted in general, and frustrated at how much I struggled the previous semester. I spent a lot of time initially trying to think about whether or not I wanted to go back into pc gaming, about whether or not I even wanted to continue with my major or even stay in college, and being frustrated about that as well. I knew I would have to do something to change before next semester but I wasn't really taking action, or making a choice.

Now that I've decided to commit to the 90 day detox, I feel much less stressed out in general. I've already made the choice not to play any games for three months; it feels good to know that I can take this time to just try my best and see where I can take my life in that time. The gaming urges have most definitely been decreasing, and nowadays I don't really feel them all that much. I still reminisce sometimes about the "glory" days, but I don't really feel as if I'm missing out on something anymore. Maybe it's because of how busy I am with other things now. What's funny is there's this one game that I've thought about playing more than the others. It's called Eve Online. It's about spaceships.

And if you've been reading my posts I think y'all know my affinity for spaceships. xD

I find it funny because I've only played Eve sporadically, not nearly as much as WOW or other more popular titles. In fact I think it's been about a year and a half since I last played it. And yet that's the game my mind keeps coming back to. Because it involves something I care about, a lot. I had a Battleship man! In fact here's a picture of it

Internet_Spaceship.thumb.jpg.1bd8438ae64

(IT WAS JUST A GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH IM CLEAN)

But I digress. The point is, now that I've managed to fill up my time doing other useful activities, my mind is overall less occupied with gaming, more occupied with bettering myself, and I feel more optimistic about the future. Now that I've cut away all the major distractions of the past I have more confidence in my ability to succeed academically. Especially with what I've been learning from books like The Slight Edge, as well as the support I've received from this amazing site! I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had found this years ago. It's been a long trickling down process, from playing 6-12 hours a day to now.

Wait...did this even exist a couple years ago? If not, then I'd say the timing was good enough haha.

Of course things are not perfect. My mood still feels generally neutral. I don't think I've felt a level of excitement similar to that I've experienced while playing games or roleplaying, and I also haven't felt as depressed as I was during those times either. I just wish I could feel those highs again. Of course I know delayed gratification is just that...delayed. The academic semester also hasn't actually started yet, so I won't know if what I'm doing is really making a difference until the work starts coming. But at least I have a gameplan. I'm working on regulating my sleep schedule, I know what activities I'm going to be involved in, and I know The Slight Edge (well, half of it, based on pages read...). If I go to every class and study at least two hours a day (and by two hours I mean six pomodoros) I'll be performing at least 200%             better than previous semesters. What makes me feel even better is that these aren't just college related skills. These are life skills. And I'm only 20!

Overall things are looking up. I've picked up new hobbies, stopped worrying about games as much, started optimizing my life a little bit, and am making progress towards my aspirations. Now just 45 more days. By the time this detox is over I should have taken an exam or two, which is pretty timely I think. If you've read this or been following along with any of my work, thank you. I hope my words can inspire anyone out there to do something positive.

  

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 8.17.2016 | Day 46

Damn productive day today.

Was happy to hear my alarm go off and realize that I WASN'T exhausted this time. Time to get ALL the stuffs done.

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Which I did.

Buuuut that probably won't be the case tomorrow morning, as I'm once again getting to this late. I wanted to find some more songs okay??? It's been so long. Perhaps I should have done it earlier. Oh well.

Here are those Solidworks screenshots I promised. Unfortunately I don't have any from my work today on steel frames...because I forgot to take them. Oops.

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Sheet metal and what appears to be some sort of spray bottle...I think that one was made on my laptop, that was painful. I need to remember to call that guy from engineering about getting weekend access. Slowly teaching myself nuclear physics for my novel research, it's a long story. Karate was kind of a trainwreck, but I went, so that's all that matters.

So tomorrow (and the weekend) will be the last semi-free days I'll have before work ramps up for early arrivals and opening weekend, so I definitely need to start thinking about shaving down my goals a little bit. I don't want to, but if I try six pomodoros on Friday or next week I will literally be doing them until bed...but you know what, I'll worry about that tomorrow.

Goals for Tomorrow:

1. 750 words freewriting

2. Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

3. Novel Work, 2 pomodoros

4. The Slight Edge, 1 pomodoro

5. A Brief History of Time, 1 pomodoro

MOST IMPORTANT TASK: Solidworks Lab, 2 pomodoros

Captain's Stats:

Estimated Days Left to Live: 23,116

Reading Minutes: 420+

Solidworks Minutes: 520

Novel Minutes: 400

I might start doing these in hours...

Things I'm grateful for:

1. Easy work day tomorrow. Plenty of time to get my work done early and then relax.

2. Picking up a few new songs. New music is always a good time. (Dubstep anyone?)

3. Moving into my fall assignment in three days!

Edited by JSmith
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