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This is not about gaming - Journal


Reno F

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(...) Much more personal than taking out your phone while talking to someone.

So now after meeting Cam I have since bought my own notebook! It's not that large, can fit in your pocket. I know the phone notebook is useful--and even I use one for lists and thoughts--but for people I always use a physical notebook now. I highly encourage it :D

I soon realized that using your phone to take notes wasn't appropriate in some situations. It felt wrong to take out my phone while on a speech at Toastmasters and perhaps it might be even rude. I will get my hands on a stylish pen and notebook. Thanks for your input!

Day 20/90

Last time I wrote, I mentioned a job fair for foreigners I was about to go. It was a great experience for me. It is those kinds of events that the companies who are hiring present themselves to the professional's market in order to get applications. While my old self would watch passively the seminars and have a look at all company stands and then leave as soon as the event ends, this time it took my time to engage and socialize with other professionals and company representatives. I've been around for almost 4 years and it is kind of sad that this is the first event of its kind that I participate in. As they say, better late than never.

On that same day I got a reply from a company that I had applied for a job one month ago. I know almost everyone who works there and the owner is someone who I have some admiration for. Anyway, they rejected my proposal. I got the reply when I was at the job fair, so I thought "whatever", but at night It kind of hit me and gave me a headache which I tried some meditation to get over it (and it worked!).

Some things to do on the next days:

  • Get out of the house and talk to people (two meetups already scheduled for the weekend)
  • Look for volunteer work
  • Find another part-time job (need the cash to invest in myself)
  • Update my resume
  • Brainstorm ideas for my own business
  • Build a food menu for the week (so I spend less time thinking on what to cook, what to buy at the supermarket or whether eat out or not)

It is surprising how socializing can be good. Everything on me works better when I out interacting with people. Now that I'm aware of it, I'll work on every chance I have to socialize. Thinking about going clubbing again. Wonder what wife would think...

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Hey Reno. How has your experience been in Japan? It's my dream to travel there someday; the culture is so interesting to me, and I've even thought about what it would be like to live there as well. I'll be taking a Japanese class this semester to start getting ready haha.

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I soon realized that using your phone to take notes wasn't appropriate in some situations. It felt wrong to take out my phone while on a speech at Toastmasters and perhaps it might be even rude. I will get my hands on a stylish pen and notebook. Thanks for your input!

Yes exactly! That's why I use a real notebook instead of my phone most of the time. :) 

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Hey Reno. How has your experience been in Japan? It's my dream to travel there someday; the culture is so interesting to me, and I've even thought about what it would be like to live there as well. I'll be taking a Japanese class this semester to start getting ready haha.

Japan is an amazing country to visit if you come with an open mind. There is so much in their culture to learn from and their society, history and traditions are really unique. In Kyoto, for example, you can easily stay one whole week and still not see enough.

On the other hand, living here can be fairly difficult to adapt, because Japan's society standards are very different from most of western countries. It took me a long time to find true happiness here and I have seen people who can speak fluent Japanese and have been living in the country for longer than me, yet, they still keep complaining how Japanese are this and that. Anyway, let me know if you need help with your Japanese. I will be more than glad to help you!

Yes exactly! That's why I use a real notebook instead of my phone most of the time. :) 

Bought mine yesterday. Feeling like Leonardo da Vinci!

Day 21/90

Got my nutrition habits done. Got some ideas for a business. Unplugged my WiiU from TV. Not using it anyway, better make space for other things. Cleaned the house. Finished reviewing second Kanji flashcards deck. Meetup scheduled for tonight.

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Would you mind elaborating on some of those standards, if you don't mind? I'm really curious!

D: why do you do this to me?

To put it simple, you have to merge in to the society. Things like speaking up your mind, telling others your opinion, and doing things your own way are may not be well seen. Also you gotta be constantly saving face to keep the harmony. When you invite someone to some event and they respond with an "yes", it is not easy to tell whether they really want to go or they answered positively just to avoid a direct conflict of desires with you.

This is subject is deep enough for a book and I'm not sure if I want to understand it thoroughly (as I'm also used to it). Sometimes it is better to accept things the way they are and keep doing what works.

Day 23/90

I went to a boardgame meetup last friday and I left it with mixed feelings. The evening was awesome and I was in a table with 4 other people. We played many light board/card games and it was a lot of fun, but, I don't know, something didn't feel right at some point. Although I was very excited when playing, I guess deep inside I felt uncomfortable to be playing games when I could be doing something else. Moreover, I had to pay a few bucks for it, because it was in a boardgame cafe and I also thought on how could I have invested it better.

All in all, it was a good experience and it has shown me that I'm not ready to 'game' yet. Perhaps I should wait my detox to join again, or at least find a second job to the financial aspect won't be an issue.

I have also decided to include cardio training on my exercise routine. Jogging it shall be, twice, three times a week?

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Yesterday I completed 4 weeks of the challenge, yay!

Thanks for the comments. I realized it isn't the moment to get involved with boardgames as well.

I've been slacking with the olympics going on atm, but still trying to make a small step each day at least. Gonna start a small project with my wife soon that has potential to become a business in the future. I should be putting up a plan to it right now, but I feel I need to keep this journal active to keep myself accountable, as my other journals aren't public.

I am also starting to write a novel with some other people in what is called "narrative collaborative" or just "play by post rpg". It is something I have never done, so I might learn one thing or two from it, especially because I might be the least skilled writer in the group.

Although I'm still exercising everyday (put on 2 kilograms since I started!), I haven't started jogging. The other day I went for a 1-hour walk with my wife, and that was it. Making some time for it next week.

On the social side, I'm more open to talking to strangers and taking innitiative. Sometimes you have a lot on your mind that, if you are not out to socialize, it's hard to remember to smile and greet people you come across, like the bus driver or the cashier of the supermarket. Today I have my second meeting at a toastmasters club and I'm really looking forward to it.

 

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Nice too see you moving forward with things.

I am also starting to write a novel with some other people in what is called "narrative collaborative" or just "play by post rpg". It is something I have never done, so I might learn one thing or two from it, especially because I might be the least skilled writer in the group.

It's great that you want to pickup writing! Just a word of caution about roleplaying though; it is alarmingly similar to gaming in that it can provide a huge sense of escapism, social contact, and personal accomplishment/self worth that are all detached from real life. Hopefully you don't get sucked into it like I did, but you seem more mature than I was haha.

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Congratulations Reno,

That weird feeling of emptiness I can relate.

I feel it when I go out late at night to drink with my cousin. I just feel it´s a waste of time, money and health. However I have no problem getting 1 beer during a sunny afternoon.

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It's great that you want to pickup writing! Just a word of caution about roleplaying though; it is alarmingly similar to gaming in that it can provide a huge sense of escapism, social contact, and personal accomplishment/self worth that are all detached from real life. Hopefully you don't get sucked into it like I did, but you seem more mature than I was haha.

It's good to hear from someone who has walked this walk before, I'm taking your advice! As I'm a quite bad writer, I think it would take sometime until this hobby fulfills all the needs you mentioned. But, I can see where you come from. With writing you can at least work up a skill useful in real life and at the end you have something to show other people (novel, article, etc).

Congrats on 4 weeks! That's a big accomplishment :)

TY CAM! I crossed the 1 month mark already!

Congratulations Reno,

That weird feeling of emptiness I can relate.

I feel it when I go out late at night to drink with my cousin. I just feel it´s a waste of time, money and health. However I have no problem getting 1 beer during a sunny afternoon.

Ikr.

Day 33

Sometimes it is so hard to keep writing, even when you are free to write about anything you want. I mean, I think I have been looking at this screen for over 20 minutes trying to organize my thoughts and translate them in to words to put them here until I decided I'd just ramble about whatever comes up. would this be some kind of phenomenon that writers suffer from? not that i'm calling myself a writer, far from it. anyway, i think it is time to leave behind my past as engineer as well. it is kind of sad, because my degree on engineering is something i'm very proud of, because it was bloody hard to get it, and my work as one got me money to travel and do the things i like. but now i'm stuck with it and everytime i want to try something new i think if i even would enjoy or be successful working as an engineer in japan. the thing is i don't see my future self working 9 to 5 anymore, and i also lost contact to anything related to engineering since 4 years ago. on the other hand, looking at the future and the range of possibilities that i have is quite exciting and challenging and makes me not want to go back to do something i am used to do just because of the money. perhaps it is time to close another chapter in my life the engineering one. this reminds me of my favorite quote of all time, "only after you lose everything you are free to do anything" from palahniuk's "fight club". i finally used my bedside notepad i set up one year ago. the other day i woke up at 3 am and kept thinking about some ideas that i had. so i took my notepad and started writing them down, and filled one whole page with ideas. after that it was easier to get to sleep again and on the next day i saw that the ideas weren't as good as i thought they were when writing. anyway, i just thought it was interesting to see what your brain can come up with when it is not busy thinking about games.

i apologize for anyone who's reading all this rambling. maybe i should try some meditation now, or get some sweat off.

 

In spite of having taken little action in the last few days, I had many ideas of new projects to work on. 

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Writing is challenging. The key is to just focus on momentum. Start with one word, one sentence, even if it doesn't really apply to anything and then you will find more clarity on what to say. The book The War of Art is one of the best I've read on the subject. :)

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Hey Reno,

Sometimes I write my random thoughts during the day. If those thoughts are related to my detox, I use them as inspiration to start writting the journal.

I simply write them on my cellphone, then check them out when I am browsing at the forums.

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Writing is challenging. The key is to just focus on momentum. Start with one word, one sentence, even if it doesn't really apply to anything and then you will find more clarity on what to say. The book The War of Art is one of the best I've read on the subject. :)

Added the book to my wishlist. I have currently 5 books in there and I'm reading other 3 books. Thanks for the indication, Cam.

Hey Reno,

Sometimes I write my random thoughts during the day. If those thoughts are related to my detox, I use them as inspiration to start writting the journal.

I simply write them on my cellphone, then check them out when I am browsing at the forums.

Hey Daniel, thanks for dropping by. I have this page on my onenote about random thoughts. I just don't look at it everyday, haha.

5th Week or Day 35

After some unproductive days last weekend I got two very satisfying days in a row. Something that worked for me is planning my next day just before sleeping. I have a small whiteboard on my fridge and I list the things I want to complete next day on it. If I'm out, I write them on my mobile and keep checking it during the day. It makes my day much lighter and I have less decisions to make. While I'm writing this, I just remembered that I used to do it while I was at Uni, but on a weekly basis. Another thing that has been helping a lot is to make breaks at every 30 minutes or so. If I'm working on the computer, I stand up and do some chore, like washing dishes, taking the rubbish out, or putting things in order. Then I come back to do what I was doing and my focus is completely renewed. It works also for procrastination, you take a break from it, and you are released from its control.

My routines has changed a bit from what I started doing at the beginning of the detox. For instance, I'm not actively practicing on the guitar anymore. I get it eventually to play some licks and riffs, but only for a short time. It helped me on my start but as I exposed myself to a lot of other things, other windows opened and I decided to have a look at them. I have said to myself when I got my first job that one day I would be my own boss and have my own business. Now I checked some stuff online and I've created another project to work on, creating value online. Yesterday I got a hint from my wife that she is not ready to work directly with me on my projects, so for now I'm on my own, which I kind of enjoy because of the challenge. I still feel that I need to achieve a private victory before I get to the public victory.

On a side note, I had my first dream about gaming after starting the detox. I don't remember exactly if I tried some flash game online, or I played with friends, but I remember the feeling of failure and the sadness to reset my counter because of 30 minutes of gameplay. What a dream.

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Day 38

Today was a day of a lot of thinking. I struggled on my writing practice again and also I've been trying to think of a name for a blog I want to start. I brainstormed a lot of ideas, but I still couldn't find an appealing name so far. Thinking of giving it any stupid name, like Reno's journal so I can start writing on. The other day I saw a 23 year old girl who started a blog about girls and she is making a living out of it. If she can do it, why can't I? I've also started reading another book, I'm not reading 5 books. I can't help, they all look so interesting.

On my last entry I mentioned about playing guitar and how I felt I should move on to new habits - that was the weaker me writing it. I have the habit of playing, but I don't have the habit of studying it and I should create it. I don't wanna die without being able to a freaking solo, damn it.

This whole post is also being written by the weaker me, as it is kind of focused on the things I'm not doing well. Maybe that's the result of spending the whole day at home, which reminds me of the jogging plan I haven't started, ha.

At least the micromanagement of the activities I planned is working well. Maybe I should try timing them and see how much time I have left on a normal day.

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The other day I saw a 23 year old girl who started a blog about girls and she is making a living out of it. If she can do it, why can't I?

That's a great attitude! I believe in you. :)

I've thought about setting up a blog in the past as well, but I'm not sure what I would write about haha.

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