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sdf
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Hi

So this is my second attempt at quitting games. The first time I tried to quit I got to around 9-10 days, a personal record that I wish to beat. After that, my exams period started and later the actual exams grabbed to much of my attention. I know that quitting a daily habit, that actual provided some stress relief, is hard and won't happen over night, but at first I actually expected that all it would take would be my initial effort to start the 90 day detox. I thought that after that it would get easy. I was wrong of course. None the less, I am quite proud of myself, because I managed to keep my gaming at just 1-2 hours a day (where as compared to the past when whole days used to go by without doing anything useful).
Now I that the academic year has ended, I am ready again to start the detox.

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Day 1:

To be fair, I have probably started the detox earlier, but now I have decided consciously that I want to change my life and live a life that I could only dream of before.
Similarly to many others on this forum, I am dealing with a few issues that emerged thanks to me gaming / wasting time on the internet. Some of these are: social anxiety, extreme shyness, inexperience with people, a fat body, lack of friends. These are just the most prevalent..

I am proud that I started running last week without any particular goal other than to get in shape and lose a few kilos. I was very adamant with implementing a program of running 5 days out of 7. Last week was a success, and this week  have already completed 2 days (probably 3 if I complete the one assigned for today).

Currently I am working on my final year project, so at least that keeps me occupied in the mornings and afternoons.

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Hello,

good to see you here. Great to see you're fighting even though you relapsed once.

I'm for instance relapsed 25 times since joining GameQuitters, and it doesn't matter that I'm weak or something. That means I keep fighting like a gladiator on the arena. And this is something you're doing aswell

It's not an encouragement for relapses, but it's comment to persevere. First days are the worst, but you'll manage to deal with them.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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Welcome! Most had practice attempts before our success at quitting games.  Be proud of your persistance.  Removing games from our lives often reveals what we used to games to hide from and that ends up being our true task.  These things are great to keep you busy while you manage learning to have a life without games.  It is so worth it though.

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Best decision in your life. Just be strong and post regularly, I'm currently above 100 days free and all I can say, it's worth it. You won't believe how better person you will become. I'm looking forward for your success. :)

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Day 2:

Thank you guys for the comments, I appreciate it. Yes, you really need to wise about how to tackle this issue in your life.

For me, other than obviously the cravings, the most difficult problem to deal with, is the shame. I am ashamed of my past, but of course now I have to face the consequences. In the past, I lied to my parents, my friends and generally anybody else just to stay a few more minutes in front of the computer. There where days when I gamed / browsed the web +10 hours.

Don't get me wrong, I am glad that these days are in my past and that I am radically changing my life, but still I feel bad about it. There are so many missed opportunities because of this.... I know that everything currently happening to me is normal, but it still shocks me how immersed I was in a fictional world. Naturally that projected itself on to my real life. I really thought that I was something really special, that I could change the world with the flick of a finger. Now I now that, while yes, everyone is unique, only with hard work can you achieve anything. 

Compared to how I was, I have changed a lot. Even during last week I only gamed below 1 hour in preparation for the detox.

Anyway, I completed my run yesterday so I have 3 out of 5 runs completed. I managed to fill every hour of the day with useful activities (it really helps that I have to work on my project at least 6 hours every day).

 

P.S.: The TedTalk suggested by Cam about porn addiction really made me think. I don't watch much porn, once a week, but I am seriously considering undertaking a 90 day detox in that too.

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Past was my problem too. Then I realised that I can't change it. It happened and one way I found working for me to deal with it, is to become a better person, live better life, and say: this bad past leaded to better me now. Oprah Winfrey was fired at age around 25, this changed some punk girl into a woman we know today as Oprah. Bad past shape us, but it depends on you where this shaping will go.

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Hello,

good to see you here. Great to see you're fighting even though you relapsed once.

I'm for instance relapsed 25 times since joining GameQuitters, and it doesn't matter that I'm weak or something. That means I keep fighting like a gladiator on the arena. And this is something you're doing aswell

It's not an encouragement for relapses, but it's comment to persevere. First days are the worst, but you'll manage to deal with them.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Love it @hycniejsy. I read that when others tell people they've failed, what that means is "If that were me, I would feel like a failure" (Relentless - Tim Grover). Only you decide when to quit.

@sdf your optimistic approach is inspiring. Keep with the success oriented mentality and you will accomplish the things you want to quit gaming for. It's the same mentality that made the self made into million/billionaires, compared to that getting our lives under control will be a piece of cake :)

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Day 3:

Thank you everyone for all the support and advices.
@Piotr You are absolutely right, and that is one of the things that I am trying to do. My past does not define me, but my current actions do.
@Cam Adair The book seems extremely interesting, I will have to read it the first time I have the chance.
@gloriousclover Your comment is flattering, and I can only hope to rise to such heights.

The more I progress into the detox, the more I discover about myself. Like I don't hate work or reading, it is just that I never had the patience or interest towards it before; or I am not lazy, far from it.

I find that a big part of being successful with this program, is to have a well defined routine every morning and evening, hopefully filled with useful activities. For example for me it is repeat every morning the 3 main reasons why I am doing all this (they are simple, something that I can relate to every day), weigh myself, eat breakfast, go to work (as soon as possible; I have to get out of the house), and do the next task in respawn.
The other, I would say, equally important part is to fill up the rest of the day with activities. They don't have to be useful just do something, anything that is not forbidden by the detox. I for example have a long list of what I could do if I get bored.

Today, as it is (was) Saturday, I spent the whole day with my family, and surprisingly I was quite occupied. No cravings today:))

Oh, yeah, I completed my run for today. I have only got one left this week. I plan to do it tomorrow morning, while it is still cool.

 

P.S.: I decided to extend the detox to porn too. I really don't crave it that much, and I hope this girl that I started seeing will help with the issue:P. But we'll see how things go..
 

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As you progress in your detox, you will discover even more positive things in yourself! Just be strong and don't give up. Also it's good to have that activity list, I advise to write a bit more, so you could exchange acitivities to avoid boredom.

Greetings, Piotr.

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Day 4:

So today is a very lazy Sunday..
I completed my last run for this week, in total 28 kms. It feels good, not to mention that I am 6 kilos lighter since I started (2 and a half weeks ago). Of course running or sports are just one half of the success. The other half is diet. And I am not talking about a crazy no carbs, no sugar, nothing tasty diet. What I usually do, is yes, eat less, but eat everything. Have the 3 main eating times: breakfast, lunch, dinner (before 8 p.m.); and if I still feel hungry eat a fruit or salad.

I think I am going to read something until I have to go meet up with a friend.
No cravings today either, but I usually spend the weekends with my family, so there is always something to do. Tomorrow will be a tougher day, since there will be more opportunities to relapse (I usually spend around 6-8 hours in front of a computer).

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You are making such a strong start! Congrats.  One of the things for success is to have plans.  What is your plan for times of stress instead of gaming or when anxious, bored or tired.  What if something very stressful happens.  Games were my go to for those things and I had to develop plans.  Books suggest a recovery from failure plan - how are you going to restart your goals?  What did you learn?  Do you have some ideas for fun?  I think initially i over scheduled myself and did not put in mindless fun activities.  Life has balance and its beautiful.  Work and play, building a life, enjoying that life..its amazing and glad you are on the journey.

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Life has balance and its beautiful.  Work and play, building a life, enjoying that life..its amazing and glad you are on the journey.

This words are so beautifuly true.

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Day 5/0:

So today I relapsed (actually I am writing the next day, so yesterday I relapsed).

I don't exactly know what to say.. I guess at one point the craving got too strong and I gave in. It was a very bizarre experience: mentally I was prepared to continue, but it was as if my body was moving on it's own. I wasted 2 hours of the day, not terribly bad considering my past, but enough to restart my detox. In hindsight it could have been much worse. Those 2 hours could have easily been 5 and those 5 hours could have easily been a whole day. So not all bad, if I think about. At least I found out, that I need breaks at well specified periods during my day. Strangely I kind of feel proud, because I had the will power and determination to say no while I was gaming. And currently I am doing better than the last time, since then it took me weeks to restart the detox, whereas now I am right back in it the very next day.

All I can do now is to learn from the experience. I have to be more careful on Mondays, because they are after the weekend, when I am still not 100% back in the right mind frame.

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Detox 2nd attempt:

Day 1:

Today was tough... But I pulled through implemented the things that I learned from my relapse and in the end everything went ok. Although there was a moment when I was alone in the house for 1 and a half hour. I literally could not do anything: I didn't want to relapse, so gaming was out of the question (not to mention that I set up some barriers, to make it harder to game); but at the same time I could not do any of the activities that I wrote down against boredom, because I felt so powerless. The only thing that I could do was to sit down and stare at the wall, while an internal battle ensued against the cravings. It wasn't productive but it was a whole lot better than relapsing.

In the past I wasn't a social person, but now I want to change that to. It really helps that I arranged meetings with old friends (class mates) almost every evening.

@Cam Adair thank you for the video on laziness. It really lifted my mood not to mention, that it reminded me that I am not lazy:) As proof I am writing this journal entry right before I would go to sleep, a time period that I usually waste away one way or another.

@WorkInProgress thank you for the kind words, I really hope so!

@Kad Thanks for the tip, no interestingly, I have not thought of fun.. Oh well, I will have to plan something then:))

 

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The key is to bounce back, which you've done by posting here. Double down and prepare that much more for possible cravings in the future. You can do it!

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Welcome back and good recovery from the relapse.  Its how you do it!  In the early days of detox I would watch the videos by Cam and read respawn.  My critical phase is the 2-3 week time point.  I also watched documentaries on the problems on gaming.  A particularily powerful one was about second life (I don't play it though) and how it seemed to destroy relationships.  These keep me focused on the why and the stuff from Cam was the how.  The vids on how to deal with cravings may be helpful.  Remember you are not powerless - you are taken the power of your life back.  It might just need some practice sessions and it gets better.

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Day 2:

Not much to say. It was an easier day than yesterday. I managed to fill in the spaces left out by my program.

It really bothers me that during social interactions my skills are not on par with those of my friends who have been doing this for a long time, but I guess practice makes perfect.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I only relapsed with gaming. The "noFap" side of things is still going strong and today is the 7th day in that detox:D

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Have you read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie? Lots of fans on the forum of that one. We all have different social experiences and some of us are later bloomers. The good news is that you can improve that area of your life significantly with intentional effort.

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Day 3:

@Cam Adair no, I haven't read that one, but another book has just been added to the listxD

I am starting to get the hang of it I think.. Work has been going well and cravings started to come and go. It seems that I developed a sense for evading situations where I could relapse. It is nothing special, I just know that if I do this particular thing than I will most likely lose control, whereas in the past I doubted myself and started barggaining that it really cannot be that bad. Yes, yes it can be exactly that bad. It might seem strange, but I am a computer scientist, so my work involves being around a computer for 6-8 hours a day. I am fortunate that for me the line between procrastination and actual work is very firm and clear.

Ofcourse doing the worksheets and watching the videos in respawn helps enourmously too.:)

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