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Gaming the System 006 - James' First 30 Days As a Digital Nomad in Thailand!

Piotr

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Journal entry #16

4 days post-detox

 Another counter goes on with post detox days. I had a dream today playing minecraft. I woke up with the feeling of destroying everything I worked for since last three months, than I realized it was only a dream. Past haunts. It's a known fact for me. But it's not past which define us who we are, it only affects us. Present actions says the most about man. What can I say about me? I've started swimming regularly, once a week. Every two days I'm exercising. I eat healthier and more(not so skinny anymore, gained 6 kilos thorough detox, current weight 70kg). I have a job, I'm studying to be an engineer, I read books. Became more social. Learned HTML and more about website programming waits for me. I get things done, instead of procrastinating(although it's still a thing I'm working on, but change can be seen). And now I think about my own business. I'm proud of what I become and can't wait to see what brings tomorrow. :)

Still, this doesn't mean I don't have anything to work on. I must keep focused to not fall into the procrastination. Being more outgoing to people would be nice(although in balance with my introvert character). Also, I have to sort out this feeling for constant measurable growth, because lastly I think that life doesn't give me as much progress as games, this can lead to relapse, I should be careful about it. Now let's enjoy the peace of mind and get to work. Keep tight :)

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Journal entry #17

10 days post-detox

             Yesterday, I was so tired that I fell asleep at 4 pm. I've dived into daily habits and activities which made me forget to take a rest. Besides that, things are going very well. I've took two days off in my job to prepare better for session final exams. I'm going to study this whole day, only taking breaks for meals, swimming and a bit housekeeping. Let's see how this method advised by my accountability partner works ;)

After your detox, did you had this urge to achieve as much as you can, in your life? This constant feeling or even craving to gain more, to go further and even farer? Is this something I should be proud of and listen to, or something which can be potentialy dangerous? This "new me" suprises me, it's kinda like I'm rediscovering myself. Was games addiction so destructive, that I don't even know my real personality?

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I definitely have more ambition now. Befor the detox it mattered for me only to get through the day/week without too much troubles. Now I try to build my decisions on the rest of my life. I guess a changed focus can throw a new light on parts of yourself you didn't known before that they existed. That's the beauty of it.

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Part of why the detox can work so well is because once you finish it it's like you've finally accomplished something that was difficult and you had to really focus on. So that builds confidence in your ability to accomplish other goals in the future! :)

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Journal entry #18

15 days post-detox

I had three final exams this week, passed all of them with really satisfying grades. Only one exam left, mathematics/integrals on Saturday, to fully pass first year. Unfortunately, my grade average lacks something like 0,1-0,2 to apply for scholarship. Although, this sounds really sad, I am proud of myself, that my grades are really good right now, I can focus on studying and passed everything without corrections(is this the right word?) so far. I eat healthier, considerating nutritional values, but still I like to eat cheetos chips from time to time. Holidays are coming, so I will have more time, due to nothing to study, but I am willing to spend this time on learning website programming. Although weaker, I still have cravings to play, does it ever ends?

TL;DR things are going good overall. Still working on myself to live better life. 

Greetings, Piotr.

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Congrats on passing your exams. Joe just posted in his journal that he's at almost 1 year without games and he still has a few cravings every day, so don't stress too much about them. I don't have any really anymore (or very very rarely) but I'm 5+ years deep. :)

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Great to see you're journaling post-detox!

And awesome to see you've almost done all of the exams to pass first year!

But we're gonna talk a bit as accountibility partners in the next hour!

Can't wait to it.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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Journal entry #19

20 days post-detox

Although, I'm 110 days game free, I still have cravings sometimes, but I think I know why. I've analyzed situations when I wanted to play, and I realised that it was situtation uncomfortable for me and I was looking for temporary escape, for this safe feeling, cause you don't argue with NPC and money isn't a big issue in game etc. So I know now what to work on :) besides that I think I need to smile more often. It's something that needs to be implemented. I'm also thinking on starting my own website. Gotta go back to learning website programming, this will certainly help.

Greetings, Piotr.

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Although I don't know you exactly (haven't read every journal entry) it seems that you are doing very well.
Congratulations on finishing the detox! Good job!!

My humble advice (I might be wrong) is that you have to face these stressful situations and deal with them. It is also what I usually try to do. You have to push your limits. You might even discover that you are great in these situations:))

Good luck, and best wishes!

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Journal entry #19

20 days post-detox

Although, I'm 110 days game free, I still have cravings sometimes, but I think I know why. I've analyzed situations when I wanted to play, and I realised that it was situtation uncomfortable for me and I was looking for temporary escape, for this safe feeling, cause you don't argue with NPC and money isn't a big issue in game etc. So I know now what to work on :) besides that I think I need to smile more often. It's something that needs to be implemented. I'm also thinking on starting my own website. Gotta go back to learning website programming, this will certainly help.

Greetings, Piotr.

I used to never smile in pictures and now I smile all the time. Makes a big difference!

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Journal entry #20

 24 days post-detox

I'm a bit tired after work, swimming, laundry, cooking, studying and housekeeping. I've stabilised my situation and feel no cravings so far. That means my previous theory works(about source of cravings).
I've talked today with my colleague, which is around 5 years older than me(freshly married), about our lifes, achievements etc. I havn't said that I'm a game quiter, because it's still a thing, which I don't want to be known about me. Instead, I've
told him about my studies, courses, money management, plans for future, things I'm trying to change, etc. He was very impressed by my personal development. He said, that he regrets investing nothing in himself, since ever. Reminding his previous party-life, where he was buying more overpriced alcohol in clubs instead of doing something useful with money and life. Since he decided to get merried, he changed a lot. I'm glad that he, by himself, took this decision to live a better life. This taught me, that it's never too late to change our lifes and we should do it as soon as possible, without waiting. Shit happens, our life can get down but we should not lead to this.


I've looked back at my life and realised, that the worst kind of pain I've known, is lost time.

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Journal entry #20

 
I've looked back at my life and realised, that the worst kind of pain I've known, is lost time.

This has also been the main cause of my pain and anger for years, not only the gaming years.

I know it's very difficult to imagine anything good coming from these years of gaming, but it's maybe the ultim act of auto-destruction that triggered the act of deciding to change something deep in us. At least, it was for me.

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Journal entry #20

 
I've looked back at my life and realised, that the worst kind of pain I've known, is lost time.

This has also been the main cause of my pain and anger for years, not only the gaming years.

I know it's very difficult to imagine anything good coming from these years of gaming, but it's maybe the ultim act of auto-destruction that triggered the act of deciding to change something deep in us. At least, it was for me.

Same for me! Without gaming I wouldn't be on this forum with all these awesome people! :) 

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Journal entry #20

 
I've looked back at my life and realised, that the worst kind of pain I've known, is lost time.

This has also been the main cause of my pain and anger for years, not only the gaming years.

I know it's very difficult to imagine anything good coming from these years of gaming, but it's maybe the ultim act of auto-destruction that triggered the act of deciding to change something deep in us. At least, it was for me.

Same for me! Without gaming I wouldn't be on this forum with all these awesome people! :) 

You can't change the past but you can change the future, right now, in this moment, with every decision you make. :)

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Journal entry #20

 
I've looked back at my life and realised, that the worst kind of pain I've known, is lost time.

This has also been the main cause of my pain and anger for years, not only the gaming years.

I know it's very difficult to imagine anything good coming from these years of gaming, but it's maybe the ultim act of auto-destruction that triggered the act of deciding to change something deep in us. At least, it was for me.

Same for me! Without gaming I wouldn't be on this forum with all these awesome people! :) 

You can't change the past but you can change the future, right now, in this moment, with every decision you make. :)

I know that I'm a better person and doing everything I can to be even better! That's why I try to remember, that better me, comes from worse past.

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Journal entry #20

 
I've looked back at my life and realised, that the worst kind of pain I've known, is lost time.

This has also been the main cause of my pain and anger for years, not only the gaming years.

I know it's very difficult to imagine anything good coming from these years of gaming, but it's maybe the ultim act of auto-destruction that triggered the act of deciding to change something deep in us. At least, it was for me.

Same for me! Without gaming I wouldn't be on this forum with all these awesome people! :) 

You can't change the past but you can change the future, right now, in this moment, with every decision you make. :)

I know that I'm a better person and doing everything I can to be even better! That's why I try to remember, that better me, comes from worse past.

True, and every experience in your life is a lesson that taught you something important!

With games, you know that it can be a destructive behaviour, which many people are not aware of!

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Journal entry #21

29 days post-detox

My friend was playing poker on his smartphone. Since last three months he was learning how to play and tried a low stakes games. Lastly, he won few games making a really nice income. I must admit that this got my attention. Playing for four hours a day and making money equivalent to good job. Besides that, I was always good at logical thinking and liked all those type of mind activity. This made me think about playing in moderation. Watched videos in this subject and realised that there are two problems with it. First, it's still a game. Is it worth to risk a relapse? On the other hand, I haven't relapsed on my Game Quitters journey, so I don't have any knowledge how I'm dealing with this. Secondly, it's gambling. I'm a bit confused about this, thus I made this entry, to have time to think and hear some wisdom on this from you guys. 

Greetings, Piotr.

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One of my old roommates was a professional poker player and he trained me for a period of time in it. Although I enjoyed a lot of what you described, I found it was too close to a game for me to continue. It just absorbed all of my attention.

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Journal entry #22

0 days game free

Relapsed. Whats even funnier, on pokemon go, where this was already discussed. Many reasons contributed to this, nostalgy, my bad time and activity arrangement, need for quick measurable growth and main reason: false social feeling through gaming(meeting others on the street and having so easy conversation with a stranger was something really beautiful, until I found out that we were just looking on our screens more than on each other). I've just fucked up my detox(136 days streak), nothing more to explain.

 

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Dude, that relapse is just a huge experience for you.

Don't blame yourself, just wake up and fight back like Mad Pharmacist did multiple times in a row.

If you need a support, just tell me, I can make a call with you even earlier than we scheduled. (Even tomorrow).

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist.

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Journal entry #22

0 days game free

Relapsed. Whats even funnier, on pokemon go, where this was already discussed. Many reasons contributed to this, nostalgy, my bad time and activity arrangement, need for quick measurable growth and main reason: false social feeling through gaming(meeting others on the street and having so easy conversation with a stranger was something really beautiful, until I found out that we were just looking on our screens more than on each other). I've just fucked up my detox(136 days streak), nothing more to explain.

Learn from it and use it as an opportunity to grow! You're doing great, remember that :)

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0 days game free

Relapsed. Whats even funnier, on pokemon go, where this was already discussed.

You're not the only one.  I tried it out just to see what the hype was about.  Then I thought what the hell am I doing, I'm an adult catching imaginary cartoons....

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Journal entry #23

5 days game free

I feel really tired by this week. I've relapsed. Due to few of my colleagues getting leave for holidays I had more to do in my job. I had a car accident, fortunatelly no one got hurt. When I was taking a turn, car infront of me suddenly stoped when he was in my blind spot and I hit him :( My car have so little, that almost invisible dent in front bumper. Unfortunatelly, other car have a bit more damaged rear bumper and mechanic said that some bar from below the trunk got slanted, overall cost of reperation is around 250$. I calculated my funds and found out that after paying him, paying for my course and living I would zero my funds. Well, it's still better than minus. Hope this week will bring something better, hell, it certainly will.

Have a good day gamequitters!

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